Eyes fluttering open, the rays of sunshine that sank through your sheer white curtains were the first thing you saw, therefore causing your eyes to squint at the blinding brightness, almost closing as you stretched underneath the comfort of your sheets with a small grunt escaping your lips.
Mindlessly glancing to your side on the bed, you froze at the sight of the space beside you being unoccupied. This was unusual, especially from your boyfriend Hanma who preferred nothing more than to lay in bed when not searching for any type of thrill that'll get his heart racing and fulfilling his boredom.
Sighing softly, you moved to sit up on the bed, removing the blanked from your body as you brought your legs over the edge of the bed. You had on but a pair of boy-short underwear, and a thin strapped tank top that hugged your figure to fight the summer heat.
Walking out of your bedroom, you searched for Hanma, brows knitting upon being unable to find him, that was until you went into the hall that led to the front door, where you saw him walking down. "Shuji." You said his name, watching his steps come to a halt before he glanced back at you with a mere turn of his head.
"Where are you going?" You inquired, and only did he finally turn his entire body to face you, his purple orbs scanning your figure. "You still have to ask?" He retorted, and it made your brows knit together. "Seriously? Don't tell me you're leaving again. You promised you wouldn't fight anymore."
He scoffed, a smile stretching his lips. "And you really believed me? Man, you're naive." His words made your body grow rigid, and he continued to stare at you blankly, making your stomach feel unusually empty. "It makes even me feel bad for you, (Name)." He added, and you could feel a dull ache reside in your chest.
Why was he suddenly acting like this? You knew he was an asshole, and your arguments were usually for petty reasons and unserious, but this felt different, you could practically feel the tension in the air that crawled all over your body like a bunch of centipedes, and you could only await until they sink their teeth into your flesh, injecting every inch of your body with their poison.
"You...you promised me." Your weak voice sounded, and he stiffened slightly, but he was quick to recover with another chuckle that seemingly echoed inside your mind as if to mock you. "You really are...pathetic." His monotone voice sounded, void of any laughter he previously emitted.
Anger slowly began to seep in through your veins, as if the said poison wasn't to kill you, but you fuel your blood with anger. Before you knew it, your feet stomped towards his still figure, and you stared up at him for a good moment, that was until your hand seemingly moved in its own to slap him across the face, making his head turn to the side and your palm sting from the harsh impact, causing you to wince softly.
Hanma stood still in shock, his eyes wide while the ache on his cheek stung painfully, but it wasn't the fact you had slapped him that had him in shock, it was the fact he didn't see it coming at all. Hanma had keen eyes that could catch any human movement, no matter how fast, and even though he anticipated your slap, he couldn't see it coming.
His purple orbs slowly began to glide towards you along with his head that turned slowly, but his eyes widened at the tears to stain your cheeks as they ran down slowly. "You fucking asshole." You spat, shoving him away from you, making him stumble back due to his recovering shock.
Hanma actually felt his heart tighten at your hurt expression, and the way your upper lip trembled made his stomach drop. He'd never seen someone's lip tremble so much, and it being you made such a strong impression inside his mind and heart.
After all, he was doing this to protect you.
It's fine, you could take your anger out on him, and he'd embrace it every time.
But he wouldn't forgive himself had you been targeted or hurt by someone that had it out for him. Heck, Hanma couldn't stand the thought of you being hurt in the slightest, even the smallest scratch on you would make him go mad. If only you knew how much of a hold you had over him.
Hanma never met a woman that affected him this much, you're the only one that could make him actually feel other things besides excitement. He'd never predicted to find someone like you that'd have such an impact on his life and views.
You were quite literally his life, his everything, and to him you meant more than he could fathom.
Even if what he was doing was nothing but causing you pain, he couldn't stand the thought of you leaving him to find someone better. If that were to happen, he'd probably kill whoever it was, but the thought of hurting you in the process would hold him back.
"Get out! I don't want to see you ever again!" You continued to shove him, and he didn't resist as he continued to stumble back until he reached the door. "Leave!" You shouted again, and only then did he finally move to slip on his shoes, his back facing you while he reached for the door handle.
And he did just that.
Leave.
...
Staring at the reflection in the mirror, your eyes were red and puffy from all the crying, your stomach aching for food, but you didn't have an appetite at all. Sighing softly, you dragged your feet while walking towards the kitchen and opening the fridge while your eyes glanced over your options.
The sound of the doorbell ringing followed by a few harsh knocks made you snap from the trance, your brows knitted together since you weren't expecting any visitors. Who could it be? Hanma flashed through your mind, making your scowl as an ache resided in your chest.
Making your way to the door, you slipped your sandals at the entrance, hiding your body behind the door as you undid the locks before opening it slightly, but before you could even process what happened, you found yourself being flown back due to how harsh the door was swung open.
The back of your head harshly collided against wall before your body grew limp, sinking to the floor while your vision faded between in and out, ears ringing, and you faintly made out a few men dressed in black entering your home, making your eyes widen in realization, willing your body to stand up, legs shaking as you desperately tried to remain conscious.
The hell was going on?
Who are they?
"Search every inch!" You heard one exclaim as his eyes landed in your trembling figure, and in a blink of an eye he had his fingers curled around your throat as he pinned you against the wall. "Where is Hanma?" He demanded, making your gaze narrow into a glare. They're here for Shuji?
"Don't...know." Your voice strained against his grip, and your answer made his face tighten. "Is that man worth losing your life over? Answer me!" He exclaimed, and you could only stare at his face that grew blurrier by the second. Even if you knew, you wouldn't dare let them know.
Even if you held strong feelings of resentment towards him at the moment, you still love him, and would be damned had you aided them in any way.
"He's not here. We searched the place." A distant voice sounded, the grip on your neck gone, making you land harshly on the ground. "Shit. Let's fucking leave, this was a wast of time." The man clicked his tongue, and you saw them all walk out your door before it closed shut, and you let yourself give in to the darkness.
...
Wincing at the sharp pain residing in the back of your head as your eyes peeled open, you observed your surroundings, feeling something soft drape your body as you laid atop a sinking floor? Blinking, your body immediately sat up upon the realization, you were in your room, but you passed out in the hall.
Knitting your brows together, you shot up from the bed and moved to leave your room, but you caught the sight of the ajar door to your bathroom, the lights illuminated inside that you didn't remember leaving on. Slowly, you made your way to the bathroom and opened the door, your eyes widening at the sight.
Hanma stood there, leaning his back against the sink as he wiped his hands that were stained with blood along with his face and clothing, every inch had a splatter of blood that wasn't his. The strong pungent smell of the iron made your nose scrunch and eyes narrow. "Hey there sleeping beauty." His voice sounded, and your eyes flickered towards his face.
Pushing himself off the counter, he took steps towards you with a relieved smile. "You had me worried-" "can you back up? You reek." You merely stated, watching him freeze in his steps before a small pout formed onto his lips. "And here I was hoping to get a hug."
"What the hell happened?" You asked, and he sighed heavily, leaning back on the counter while continuing to clean himself. "I...left because there were some guys from the past after me. I didn't want to put you in danger, and yet." He glanced from his hand and to you. "I found you unconscious when I got a call from a neighbor about the noise."
Your brows furrowed. "So? Why are you covered in blood?" He tilted his head, eyes shifting towards the side. "Well, naturally instead of planning to hide out someplace else, I beat them all up." Hanma states blankly, though he purposely left the part of where they might actually be dead due to the mad frenzy his state of mind was in when he found you, and it made him go absolutely feral.
He promised himself not to bring you into his personal affairs, yet you ended up getting hurt either way. This time, no matter who it was, he'll remain by your side and protect you instead, since he can't find the strength to stay away from you, and he'd hate himself had you been hurt again without him being able to do nothing about it.
"I'm sorry for earlier. I honestly thought I was protecting you by leaving you out of this." He apologized, his voice sincere while he flickered his eyes back to you, eyes staring into yours in a slight trance. "You idiot." You smiled at him, feeling your eyes grow warm. "Couldn't you say that from the start?"
He grinned, arms opening. "Come here."
You scowled. "No way, take off those clothes and shower first, the smell is giving me a headache." You rejected his offer, walking away and closing the door to the bathroom so the smell wouldn't seep into your room, but you couldn't help the small smile to stretch your lips as you made your way to the kitchen to make lunch.
Hanma joined you after his shower, drowning himself in your presence before you both moved to the bedroom, where he held your napping body in his arms as your breaths sounded softly, making him feel lightheaded and warm, his lips moving to kiss your forehead before tightening his hold.
one of the most rent free moments in my head is toya's pure joy when he found out his father listened to his music (even though he said he was busy) ... uuuu toyamama just made his entire day and perhaps his entire life simply from telling toya about what she saw. it also tells me how much they really care about each other despite the differences and difficulty/ lack of communication in the beginning. they've truly grown so much as a family. his brothers, his mother, and even his father, they've grown to understand and support toya even if they don't really understand street music or was initially apprehensive.
(they remind me a lot of my own family too in a way; asian things i guess)
i need a toyamama loredrop she's the only family member i feel is incomplete in terms of her personality and story; from all of toya's stories: she's a very gentle and caring mother, (very) overprotective of toya when he was young, dotes on her family by cooking even though she isn’t good at it… wl2 shows her caring side a lot
The Survive crew can best be described as dysfunctional. One of their most (in)famous traits is how prone they are to in-fighting, and how often that devolves into arguing in circles and indecision. Takuma’s primary role in the group is to mediate between them, trying to find the least frictional path so that the group can act as a whole. Through the course of the game, he patiently listens to the oft oppositional postures the other campers hold and often chooses to word his replies in the least confrontational way possible, even when the Wrathful option was chosen. It's clear he aims to pacify the group and not rock the frail boat they're standing on, but it can also make him very passive and ineffectual when it comes to actually resolving their fights and disagreements. Because his posture aligns so well to social convention, it highlights Survive’s concern about how to navigate conflict.
A tricky position.
One of the biggest and most obvious in-group conflicts that arise in early-game concerns Shuuji’s treatment of Lopmon and the rest of the campers.
Shuuji is often at odds with what the group wants to do: as their chaperone, Shuuji is there to make sure they stick together and stay out of danger, a role that aligns well with his own risk aversion. He's against exploring the forest in part three, partially because it's protocol to stay put if possible when you get lost in the wilderness, so that the rescue party can actually eventually locate you. But also because he's too scared to take a risk in case it turns out to be the wrong decision that gets them all killed— let's remember the Professor's "death" (and eventually Ryo's) weighs on his mind heavily through the whole stretch he tries to lead the group. The deaths weigh so much on him, there's multiple instances where his affinity dialogue revolves around him ruminating over how to deal with them— from his open crying and hurt about the Professor, to his deep guilt illustrated when he fusses over how will he own it up to Ryo's family for failing to keep him alive.
Time and time again, Shuuji panics when they're faced with danger, the most clear example being when he straight up wails upon realizing they're trapped in a mid-air cable car. The fact of the matter is: Shuuji doesn't cope well with the external conflict they're faced with. The extreme high stakes of their situation exacerbates Shuuji’s trauma responses— as a victim of child abuse in the form of relentless criticism and neglect—the sole idea of failure floods Shuuji with such an overwhelming fear and shame he's often completely unable to face what's in front of him. He turns moody, defensive and domineering in order to feel any modicum of control in a situation that is too much for him.
Both the abuse Shuuji endured and his self-loathing are primarily portrayed through his constant belittling and shaming of Lopmon. This spills to his snappy and nagging attitude towards the other kids, too. It's an awkward and tricky position for the rest of them to be in— given Shuuji is the oldest member of the group, the others feel unable to address his behavior directly. Takuma often prefers to negotiate and stall the situation, in hopes it somehow stops spiraling. Aoi's approach similarly prioritizes proper behavior and to preserve the harmony and unity of the group; she constantly corrects Minoru when he's disrespectful to Shuuji and generally tries to keep her juniors' behavior in check—with middling results, since Minoru and Saki still resort to passive aggression and mocking Shuuji behind his back and Kaito keeps on antagonizing him. When there is any direct confrontation, it's often in the form of Kaito’s overtly aggressive and insulting yelling that predictably devolves into even more fighting.
The intense deterioration of the group dynamics reflects the group's poor handling of conflict on multiple levels— from Shuuji’s maladaptive behavior stunting his decision-making and willingness to tackle risks, the verticality of harmony, the general avoidance to deal with his behavior directly and Kaito’s abrasive approach, it's clear the group has ways to go before they can listen to each other and resolve their differences productively. Of special note is that the avoidance to deal with Shuuji’s behavior directly stems both from their rather strict social hierarchy and their lack of knowledge on how to deal with the situation. Their unwillingness to directly engage Shuuji even when he's straight up re-enacting his abuse on Lopmon is very remindscent of how child abuse is dealt with in real life. People are either reticent to stick their noses on others' personal problems, go about it in roundabout ways or plainly don't have the slightest clue about what to do or say.
Enabling safer choices.
If peace-making is ineffectual and fighting it out exacerbates the situation and alienates Shuuji further, then what is the answer? Given that the game's proposal involves Ryo punching and calling Shuuji out, it clearly isn't opposed to the idea of direct confrontation, even if it's at odds with social convention. The key difference between what Ryo does and the way Kaito fights with Shuuji lies in Ryo's desire to extend understanding and rapport to Shuuji. As one of the poster problem-children of early game, Ryo is able to sympathize with Shuuji even as he's lashing out and at his worst. This makes it possible for him to make clear to Shuuji that even though he's receiving a much needed call out, the group hasn't abandoned him and is still willing to support him.
Given that Shuuji's worst fears revolve around being abandoned over failing to meet the expectations over him, as illustrated in his nightmare sequence, this is an important turning point for him. If even as his most deplorable and foundering behavior, the worst-case scenario he fears the most isn't going to come, that takes the edge out of failing. Fostering an environment where it's possible to show one's short-comings, fears and mistakes without fear of retaliation and/or world-ending consequences it's pretty important to enabling safer choices, it turns out. This wasn't possible before both because of Shuuji's fears and their own rigid social hierarchy with Shuuji at the top shouldering all of the responsibility for their well-being. Ryo's complete disregard for social convention often made him plain unpleasant and rude, but it enables him to act decisively and compassionately when it comes to Shuuji.
Ryo and Shuuji's dynamic will continue to showcase them growing a comfortable rapport. Ryo will be able to offer feedback and reel him in when Shuuji starts fumbling into old habits, as shown briefly in part 6 when Shuuji tries to forcefully up the group's morale. Open communication without the fear of belittling (or worse) it's something Shuuji was sorely lacking, as hinted back in part 4: Shuuji's household situation is stultifying— he envies that the Shinonome siblings are able to discuss their differences, as explosive as they get, because he and his brother aren't allowed to whatsoever. The general feeling is that none of the family members is able to air their grievances nor resolve their differences with each other, which is further confirmed at the start of Truthful's part 11 when Shuuji talks about how no one in his family knows how he feels and that he wants to take this communication approach to his household situation (uhm, good luck, boy 😭…).
Even if Truthful is abrupt about showing Shuuji's change, the general idea is still there: in order for Shuuji to own up to his behavior, it's necessary to get him to a place where he can grow more comfortable being directly, honestly yet still kindly addressed about his mistakes and offered proper guidance about it. This is an adequate response to his character arc because he's still a teen, and he was never malicious nor bent on ill will towards the others but, rather, was lashing out due his unresolved trauma. All the same, Shuuji has to decide to get on that road —an idea further reinforced in his perfect evolution scene through using his training as shorthand for the concept of continual effort to improve. The idea of balance between personal agency and making the conflicts a community problem is at Survive's heart.
Does this growth make him more willing to confront conflict and take on risks? Yes and no. His preference to take the safest road to accomplish the group's goals remains even in Truthful, as seen at the start of part 10, when they're mulling over which shrine to tackle first. Shuuji wants to go for the one he infers will have less kenzoku opposition and thus be easier to secure; however, the fact that the group deciding to go for the northern shrine isn't going to send him into a panic spiral anymore is meaningful. No longer feeling like the sole person responsible for their security and success, Shuuji is able to accept when the group's judgment is at odds with his, instead of being coerced into it by rule of majority. He's able to trust them to face whatever might come, as well as being committed to supporting them to get through it.
His dedication to looking after the group is also an important piece of his arc. While he always wanted to fulfill his obligations to them, the fact he grows more open and united to them makes him more effective at it. On a personal level, the want to become someone he can be proud of and able to stand side by side with the others has the positive effect of getting him to question his ideals and search for the person he wants to be. On an interpersonal one, much like Ryo offers him feedback and openly reiterates his rapport to him —that cutscene at the start of part 9 between the two of them is very, very cute— Shuuji is also willing to help him get through things that scare him, even when they're at odds with his own beliefs.
In short, Shuuji's character illustrates a lot of Survive's ideals around dealing with conflict and how it relates to personal growth.
