JohnDave rp with a Dying!John
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EB: i'm fucking scared to death. i really don't want to die.
EB: haha, that was contradicting. but yeah. um.
EB: apparently i'm dying?
TG: this better not be one of your stupid pranks again
EB: you know how i was getting sick and swollen and bruised easily and i was bitching about it before?
EB: my dad took me to get looked at and i have acute lymphoblastic leukemia.
EB: i'm dying in a few months dave and i don't want to die.
TG: nice joke there egbert
EB: this isn't a fucking joke!!!
EB: do you HONESTLY think i'd joke about something as serious as this?
EB: i'm dying, and it's soon.
TG: i honestly dont know what to think egbert
TG: how am i supposed to act over something as serious as this
EB: well, i'm sitting on my bed freaking the hell out.
TG: john i dont want you to die either
EB: fuck fuck fuck i'm so sorry!
TG: but dont you think this would of been better in person
TG: instead of over say pc
TG: even a phone call would of been better
EB: i've been crying and crying and crying though.
EB: i don't want you to see me like this.
TG: i want to spend every goddamn minute you have left
TG: i dont know what to do
EB: i don't either. i'm so confused.
EB: i don't even have a family history of cancer.
EB: i never would have even thought about it.
EB: and here i am, dying, being treated with chemo which will only give me an extra month or two!
TG: i want to see you too
TG: and ill bring you the most ironic get well flowers
TG: and bring a few nic cage movies
EB: better have a shitty balloon heart sticking out of the flowers.
TG: if theres a tv in the place
TG: and ill sit there in bed with you
TG: and have the most ironic brocuddles
TG: while ill sit through each nic cage movie
TG: not complaining at all
EB: (fuck this is a big piece of shit egbert how do you stand it) haha.
EB: ...please don't tell rose or jade yet.
TG: ill let you tell them
EB: thank you. i want to wait just a bit longer. when i'm all calm and stuff.
TG: but you know you can always call me
TG: no matter how much blubbering youre doing
EB: duuuuhhhh daaaaaaave.
EB: it's a lot of blubbering dude.
TG: ill sit through it all
TG: ill be the shoulder for you to cry on
TG: ill be there through it all for you
EB: cancer's the reasons for my teardrops on dave's guitar(shoulder, w/e).
EB: man that would be a great cover.
EB: but thanks, it really means a lot to me!
EB: i can't believe i STILL don't have a lame nickname for you.
EB: i've gotta fix that. bucket listed.
TG: thats because striders are to cool for lame nick names
EB: uh..... strudel. hahahahaHAHAHA
EB: DAVESTER STRUDEL why is that SO FUNNY
TG: that wasnt even funny
TG: that wasnt even ironic
EB: dude oh my god no just imagine your glasses on a toaster strudel.
TG: thats a new low for you
EB: sh, it's the best i've got.
TG: thats like ten rungs down from derp
EB: oh ouch, right in the lame!
TG: every time you think of that
TG: it will be right in your nonexistant cool factor
EB: oh man, it hurts so bad from all the funny.
EB: pretty sure i'm in the negatives.
EB: i'll find a name eventually.
TG: there was nothing funny about that
TG: there was nothing funny about that
EB: there was like a million things funny about it.
TG: it was so anti funny that you actually went down a rung on your eccheladder
EB: i was completely kicked off the ladder.
EB: into a pool of unfunny realization
TG: now all we have to do
TG: is dump you into a pool of sexy
TG: and get the bald look going for you
TG: and use that cancer to get you laid
TG: cause who wants to die a vrgin
EB: oh yeah! i was thinking about that earlier. the hair thing. not the laid thing. i'd rather fall in love than have sex just to not die a virgin.
TG: never going to get laid bro
TG: going to die a virgin
TG: theres a special place for you in heaven
TG: its called the geek corner
TG: where all the other geeks that died virgins gather
EB: ouch, dave, stop that!! my heart weakens under your horrible comebacks!
TG: to speculate on why they didnt want to be laid
TG: 'because i didnt find the right person even though i had a literal walking sex god right next to me the whole way'
EB: i'm sorry, what sex god??
EB: we're almost even now!
EB: do i LOOK like a guy anyone would want to have sex with? haha NO.
TG: when im done with you
EB: you'll make a man out of meeeeeeeeee!
EB: i don't want ladies to flock me. that's weird.
TG: then i guess i can make you flamboyant
TG: maybe take you to a gay bar
EB: i... i want.......................
TG: theres only so many sexe-
TG: you cant have sex with chocolate john
EB: that's what you think.
TG: unless youre into that
TG: drizzle melted chocolate all over your dick
EB: WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS
EB: ABOUT CHOCOLATE ON MY DICK DAVE NO
TG: because you brought it up
TG: ill bring you a gift basket
TG: full of unhealthy junk food
TG: and you can gorge yourself
TG: thats not ironic at all
TG: itll be filled with fruit
EB: there had better be a thousand bags of cheetos and fritos and gummi worms dave.
TG: betty crocker brand gushers
EB: get the generic gushers.
TG: oh i know what im going to do
TG: when im at your funeral and such
TG: im going to slip in a box of crocker mix
EB: i will haunt you dave.
TG: then i will masturbate
EB: i'll be one of those chain maiL AJFKWKFK DAVE
TG: everytime i feel your presence
TG: ill put a ring of salt around you
TG: ill even fuck some chocolate fo ryou
EB: i'll close my eyes and cover my ears.
TG: junk gift basket and shit
TG: and a balloon bouquet
TG: with all the get well balloons i can find
EB: best friend ever right here, folks.
EB: when i die, please don't cry or anything.
EB: i know striders don't do that or whatever, but.
TG: let one slide down my cheet
TG: dont make me force feed you crocker
TG: i will hide that shit in everything you eat
EB: i'll eat anything now, i actually need to call a nurse for lunch.
EB: well. get me unhooked for lunch.
EB: i can walk anywhere here, but i don't know how to undo the rolly iv thing from the wall.
TG: i just want to go there now
TG: comfort you and stuff
EB: i can get my dad to buy you a plane ticket if you need.
EB: awesome. i'll ask him in a minute!
EB: when do you want it for?
TG: the earliest plane that he can get
TG: i want to be with you
TG: youll have to get a restraining order
TG: and then ill just stand
TG: 500 feet away from your window
EB: okay it was cute until THAT.
TG: setting up camp and shit
TG: its called devotion bro
EB: creepy as fuck devotion.
TG: i want to be with you
EB: the delta site says there's a flight in an hour and a half in dallas. think you can get there?
TG: ill pack up some shit
EB: suddenly a thousand times more awesome!
TG: and ill pick it up along the way
EB: i don't need anything else.
EB: ...................well.
EB: can you get me a sudoku book? i filled all of mine up. :x
TG: ill get you some sudoku
EB: awesome. yeah, that's all i really want.
EB: chocolate, sudoku, your cheesy gifts and you.
TG: now i gotta start packing
EB: gogogogogogogoooooooooo!
TG: packing some clean boxers and all that nice shit
TG: we can keep talking through this
TG: just set pc to my mobile
TG: so i can keep talking to you bro
TG: so just talk about whatever you want
EB: well. my dad sent you an email you'll need to print out for the airport.
EB: so don't forget that.
EB: oh, the hospital's like four hours away from our house, so my dad's staying at a hotel nearby.
EB: since they don't have places in the hospital. he sometimes sleeps in the chair, but the hotel is essential.
EB: so you can stay there.
TG: probably just sleep in your bed and keep you comfy
TG: through those long cold nights at the hospital
EB: it's actually a pretty nice hospital!
TG: ironic brocuddles through the night
TG: for the plain to come
TG: all i need is shirts pants
TG: i can get the rest there
EB: that's gonna cost a lot. :\
EB: not individually, but in the long run.
TG: like the balloons and chocolate
EB: what about your toothbrush and paste and whatever?
EB: what about your tampons?
TG: you know its not my time of the month yet
TG: but yeah got all that shit packed
TG: and a supply of shades
TG: just in case they break
TG: you can never be to careful
EB: i could always just get you more but okay!
TG: for the plane to get here
EB: *commence waiting mode.*
TG: this is going to be so boring
EB: not if you talk to meeeee!
EB: kidding. but wow. i'm excited.
TG: though i wish i was coming to see you
TG: under better circumstance
TG: and then the fun can begin
EB: for a few months we'll just hang out. oh!
EB: the hospital lets me out whenever i want(as long as it's not for days obviously), SO.
EB: i was thinkiiiiiing we could go to disneyland? my dad already wants to take me, so you can come too.
TG: ill go to disneyland with you
TG: well have the best brodate ever
EB: didney worl with my best bro.
TG: im literally glaring at the clock right now
EB: there is no clock in here.
EB: but it's on the bedside table.
EB: i'm too comfy to turn over and glare. :P
EB: dude, it takes a LONG time to get comfy with wires and needles in you.
EB: when it happens, i freeze in the position.
TG: and you can be all comfy against me
TG: use me as your pillow at night
EB: this is getting pretty bromantic.
TG: youll get the limited edition strider pillow
TG: only exclusively sold to egderps everywhere
EB: gotta have my strider pillow.
TG: gotta collect them all
TG: but without all the gay guys
EB: this is going to be great.
EB: i've been waiting to legibly type JUST so i could ask you to come up here. FINALLY.
EB: me twenty minutes ago: eifjwnfkwkghefowgcryyyyyyycryyyabgksjflskg
TG: could of blubbered into my ear
TG: i could of been your wing man
EB: keep on blubbering in my ear.
EB: blubber all the things that i wanna hear.
EB: no but seriously, time. go faster.
EB: i miss jimmy neutron. gotta watch that again before i go.
TG: im just coming out there for the best two month brodate
EB: might be three or four if i'm lucky!
TG: hope it lasts an eternity
EB: wish i could stay until your birthday. guess we'll just have to celebrate it early!
EB: ...i won't even get to know if the zombie apocalypse happens...
EB: i bet i'll BE a zombie.
EB: ohhhhh yeah, general GRRRAAAAAAH at your service.
EB: shhhhhhhhhh i'm going to be a zombie.
EB: ...man i don't want to die!
TG: go wait at the airport
TG: im tired of pacing in my room
EB: then go! it'll save you time if you get there early.
TG: yeah ill be going now
TG: ill text you or something
TG: but see you when i get there
EB: i'll see you at the airport. i'll get my dad to roll me there.
TG: ill go to the hospital
TG: if you dare leave that bed
TG: ill eat the basket in front of you
TG: and you want be able to do anything about it
TG: lifes not fair egbert
TG: emotional mask is going back on
EB: i think i'm gonna go before i start freaking out again.
TG: see you when i get there
