#sicky tag

[captainimprobable]

I need to know more people with ARFID bc I feel CRAZY. wdym i dont really eat anything anymore. WDYM im starving all the time, my head hurts, im dizzy, im HUNGRY, but im surrounded by food and i cant eat any of it?

im like that greek myth guy. the one who couldnt eat or drink anything even if the food was in front of him. thats me. and its sooooo silly. just eat the food! but i cannot. i have the Cannot Eat Anything Disorder.

AND ITS GETTING WORSE

i would give anything to just never be hungry again. and i feel awful bc im so privileged to have so much food and i waste it all bc i just. cant. eat it. why? HELL IF I KNOW!!!!

anyway if you have arfid HOW are you handling it and can you fix me?

[captainimprobable]

If you have me/cfs: how do you find reasons to stay? Im mild to moderate and I know im so lucky in that. I have a place to live and food to eat. But knowing im going to be sick for the rest of my life isn't something I can easily accept. How can I accept that ill never get better? How can I accept that ill always be this tired? That ill always feel so sick? How do I accept that ill probably never move out of my parents house, never have a full time job, be functionally alone for the rest of my life?

Its not that im actively suicidal, it's that i genuinely dont understand what the point of being here is if its going to be like this? My life ended before it started. I have no interest in spending the next 60 years in bed alone with nothing to ever look forward to.

And if I speak to other people with ME who have had it longer than me they just agree with me like. Yeah. Had this for 35 years. My life is a living nightmare. What can you do.

Well frankly I can leave. Im not existing that way.

So, if you have ME: what keeps you here? What makes you happy? What positives do you have in your life? How do you keep going knowing this is forever?

This isn't hypothetical this is a real genuine question. And please, if your answer is negative, simply dont respond.

Thanks.

[captainimprobable]

i dont even want to complain anymore. just make me healthy bro. just do it. im tired.

[captainimprobable]

threw myself into really bad PEM bc of a stupid mistake and ill probably get into bed for the night soon but if youre my friend and tomorrow i tell you im doing anything other than going to the social security office or lying in bed genuinely pls remind me that thats dangerous and i need to spend the next couple days doing nothing or it could get really bad

[captainimprobable]

im so big brained bc this morning when i was ok i ordered myself a cake with my grocery order and then I crashed and now I'm in bad PEM but i have CAKE. past me was so fucking smart i want to thank them but theyre already gone. oh well.

[captainimprobable]

i wanna go on a walk with my dog and my nephew so bad

every single saturday i have to sit at home disappointed while i watch the entire family walk without me because everyone gets mad when i dare suggest someone push my chair

its such a clear message that they dont need me there and im not worth a little effort, like damn yall message fuckin received ig

[captainimprobable]

something about finally wanting to live after like 3 decades of wanting to die and then immediately getting nerfed with a physical illness that makes me wanna die again is soooooo sick. "why are you so depressed? I thought you were feeling better?" well you see. my body is trying to kill itself now without my help.

[captainimprobable]

Guys I magically found an Me/CFS specialist ten minutes away who has an appointment TODAY This makes me extremely suspicious. Like. There's no fucking way this guy is going to help me. But......if he does........

idk Im soooo anxious about it so im just trying to distract myself til then ;.;