#siding fic

[sanderssidesthehouse]

Infinitesimal

infinitesimal adjective

[in-fin-i-tes-uh-muhl] / ˌɪn fɪn ɪˈtɛs ə məl /

immeasurably or incalculably small

For Logan Week! @coresideweeks

It was supposed to be his day. Again. Thomas was distracted by something else. Again. But it wouldn’t be logical to give up to hopelessness. It wouldn’t be logical to feel personally slighted. It wouldn’t be logical to hold a grudge. It wouldn’t be logical to feel himself falling apart, being torn into smaller and smaller shreds until nothing resembling himself was left. And Logic had to be logical.

It wasn’t even that big a deal, right? And they’d all had their plans disturbed at one point or another. He’d gotten his time in the spotlight when they’d gone to college. Now it was Roman and Patton’s turn. Virgil didn’t have a problem with it. And logically it was probably good for Janus and Remus to no longer be repressed, they’d all proven that didn’t help. He himself had always argued against repression.

So what if he was pushed to the side in favor of other ventures? He’d always be needed. Maybe not as much as he’d like, but investing personal feelings into the situation wouldn’t be logical. So what if no one listened to him? If they were running smoothly without his input then he wasn’t needed. Vying for a spot at the table when it was unnecessary wouldn’t be logical.

So he sat on the sidelines and listened to an argument go in circles. Again. He waited to be called upon so as not to upset anyone and derail the conversation further. Again. They never asked for his insight. Again.

It wasn’t a big deal. They didn’t need him. It wouldn’t be logical to make a fuss. With anything related to emotions he was always considered to be wrong, and they always loved to point out when he was wrong. It wasn’t a conversation he could add to. It wouldn’t be logical to insert himself into a conversation about a topic he knew nothing about.

Yet he couldn’t even look at himself in the mirror as a symbolic representation of his self reflection because his glasses were broken and the tears wouldn’t stop despite his best efforts. He felt smaller than he could reasonably be despite not changing in size. He was sad and angry and out of control. It wasn’t logical, but Logan was never only Logic, after all.

No one noticed. Again.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64883719

for @dukexietyweek prompt AU.

I Think You've Got A Wicked Smile

“My stupid brother has a stupid date to the stupid wedding.” Remus stormed into Virgil's room and threw his backpack on the ground. “And?” It had startled Virgil the first few times this had happened, but being friends with Remus meant you got used to it. “That means I need a stupid date to the stupid wedding.” Remus then threw himself backwards onto the unoccupied part of Virgil's bed. Virgil could try to argue that the logic didn’t follow, but once Remus had an idea in his head, it tended to stay there, and he’d rather save the energy. “... Welp, good luck with that.”

“Virgilllllll.” “I'm busy.” “I didn't even tell you what day it is.” “So what day is it?” “This Saturday.” “Yep, I'm all booked up.” “You aren't either. Your one friend who isn't me will be out of town and you don't do anything unless we drag you out.” “Exactly. I have to get in my scheduled nothing time.” “I'm gonna tell your mom.” “Nooooo. She'll make me go,” Virgil whined. “Perfect!” “Ugh, fine, just don't tell her, she'll make it a whole thing… Wait, I don't have anything to wear.” “Just wear clothes. They won't expect much from my date.” “Remus, I can't go to a wedding in ripped jeans and combat boots.” “Says who?” “Says me. Besides, my mom would kill me.” “Hmm… Yeah. You can borrow some of my clothes.” “Remus we are not the same size.” “Ugh, you're making this so difficult. Can I bring your mom instead?” “No.” “Fine, fine. I'll take you shopping or whatever. Mall's still open for a few more hours, right?” “Gram is rolling in her grave, but yes.” “Cool! Let’s go!”

-

“Remus, I can’t wear this!” “Aw c’mon, just show me how it looks,” Remus called back through the door of the stall Virgil was changing in. “I look like a prep.” “You’re the one who wanted to dress up!” “It’s just so… I can’t wear this.” “You’ve said that about the last seven outfits. Just show me. You know me, I’ll tell you if it looks bad.” Virgil huffed. “Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” “I’ll consider myself warned.”

Remus could hear the door unlock and waited patiently as it took a few more seconds for Virgil to open it. When his friend finally presented himself, Remus was shocked, not because it was ugly, but because… It looked really good on him. The purple vest was the perfect shade to bring out his eyes, and the tie was Remus’s favorite shade of green, not to mention it would match Remus’s vest exactly. He’d have to get a purple tie.

“See? I told you it looked bad. I’ll just-” “Bad? Virgil, I don’t think you’ve ever looked hotter.” Virgil squeaked. “Not that I don’t dig your whole emo aesthetic, it really suits you, and the holes in your ripped jeans make me want to grab your thighs, but this… This looks good.”

Remus realized a few moments too late that he might have overdone it if Virgil’s fire engine red face and lack of breathing was anything to go by.

“Um, I just mean, it’s um, you know… You can wear it.”

There was another brief moment before Virgil started laughing so hard he had to lean on the doorframe for support. Remus always thought Virgil was so pretty when he laughed. It brought a light blush that his pale face so desperately needed and the crinkles around his eyes reminded Remus of a flaky pastry. It might be an odd descriptor, but he really did like flaky pastries.

“Ok, ok, I’ll wear it, jeez,” Virgil got out between chuckles. “You’re something else, Rem.” “Oh, ah, haha,” Remus managed. He could feel his face having warmed and his tongue being tied. “Just give me a second, I’ll change back and we can get out of here. You want to go to the arcade?” “Yeah, sure.” “Cool.”

Virgil closed the door.

Remus was so fucked.

-

The school bell rang, signalling it was time to get to home room. Ugh. At least Janus would be there with him.

“Hey, Virge. I heard you got a hot date this weekend.”

Or maybe Janus being there wasn’t such a blessing.

“It’s not a date.” “Of course not,” Janus said in a tone that meant he didn’t believe it and wanted Virgil to know that despite humoring him. “You’re the worst.” “And you love me for it.” Virgil sighed. “Just don’t tell anyone. Remus wants it to be a surprise, and honestly I think it’ll be really funny to see the look on Prince Preppy’s face.” “Who, me? Tell a secret? I would never.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow and Janus hissed out a laugh.

“Alright, alright, but I would never tell your secrets. Have fun on your not date. Try not to let Remus burst a blood vessel restraining himself?” “From what?” “Well he’ll either die or you’ll figure it out soon enough.” “I hate when you know things that I don’t.” “I’m surprised you’re not used to it by now.” “Shut up.” “Great retort. You should join the debate club.” “You should join the shutting up.” “... Virgil…” “Admittedly not my best work.”

Their conversation was cut short by the teacher starting role call. What did Janus know about Remus that he didn’t?

-

For the remainder of the week Remus seemed giddy and Janus took every opportunity to snicker at them and then say it was nothing. Jerk.

Part of him was dreading having to go to a wedding for people he didn't know and part of him thought it might not actually be so bad with Remus by his side. It would be interesting at the very least. Hopefully neither of them got arrested or covered in food or crashed into by a malfunctioning plane. That would suck. Maybe he should check the projected flight paths of flights that would be in the area. Before he could though, his phone chimed.

Duke of the Dumpster: here dw i cleaned the front seat mth: kk

Virgil double, triple, and quadruple checked he had everything then crept down the stairs. Hopefully he could dodge his mom and any questions that might come up with his outfit-

“Virgil? Your friend is here.”

No such luck.

“Oh, where are you going so handsome?! So grown up!” She rushed to him and began fussing with his hair and clothes. “Ugh, Mum!” “No angry make up? He must be special.” “H-he?!” “You cannot hide these things from your mother. She knows all. Your Remus, yes? Oh, look, is he matching out there? So sweet!” “He just needed a date to this stupid wedding is all!” “Virgil! That is no way to speak about someone's special day. You know when I got married to your father-” “I know, I know. Mum, we're gonna be late.” “Oh, you cannot be late. Shoo, now! And get many pictures! I will be having a talk with your Remus when you return.” “Mum, it's probably going to be late-” She fixed him a look. “Right, I'll let him know.” “Now go. Go! Have fun! Be safe! Use pro-” “Ok, bye Mum, love you, see you later, bye!” Virgil squirmed past her and rushed out the door bright red. Remus grinned as he got back into his seat and Virgil slid in the passenger side. “You know I think most people only put blush on their cheeks.” “Shut up and start driving. My mum wants to talk to you when we get back.” Remus's eyes went wide and he swallowed. “This is it. She's finally going to kill me.” “She's not going to kill you… Probably.” “Virgil!” “You still want your body buried under the old tree?” “...” Remus sighed. “Yeah…” “Cool. Let's go so we're not late.” “They're lucky I'm showing up at all.” “If you make me late, you won't have to worry about my mom.” “Reading you loud and clear, captain!”

Remus gave a salute and backed out of the driveway. Virgil just rolled his eyes.

The ride was pretty uneventful. They barely even had their typical banter. A nervous energy poured off of Remus which in turn made Virgil nervous. By the time they got there, Virgil was about ready to run a marathon to get it all out. Honestly he would have done some jumping jacks if there weren't a ton of people there already. And if he wasn't wearing something nice.

“So what do we do now?” “We're meeting out back. The ceremony will be outside then we'll go inside for the reception. I think Ro's already here. Wanna go bug him?” “I thought you'd never ask.”

Remus led Virgil around the side of the building an into a garden area with an open gazebo and lots of chairs lining a pathway. It actually wasn’t as big as Virgil had been expecting with the way Remus had been complaining about it. And since there weren’t that many people, at least comparatively, it was pretty easy to spot Roman in his bright red suit. Target acquired.

“I can’t believe he wore that.” “Right? Like I know he likes red, but isn’t that a little much?” “Please tell me he’s going to ditch the jacket for the reception.” “Highly doubtful.” “At least he didn’t wear the sparkly one he wore to homecoming.” “Roman? Wear the same suit twice? Banish the thought,” Remus feigned indignity. Virgil snickered. “Where’s his date?” “Can’t tell, but he’s a bit shorter so he’s harder to spot. Plus he’s not trying to signal to martians that he’s here and abductable. Here, walk behind me so he doesn’t see you yet. This is gonna be great.” “Aye-aye, captain.”

They made their way to the bush Roman was standing by, coming up from behind so Remus could grab his attention when he wanted it.

“Greetings, dear brother!” “Gah- Remus!” Roman huffed as he whipped around. “You have got to stop doing that! I’m going to have a heart attack one of these times.” “Shame that.” Virgil stepped out from behind Remus. “Virgil?!” Virgil grinned and gave a sarcastic salute. “Sup.” Roman glared at his brother. “Oh, hey! You’re in my chemistry class!” Roman’s date appeared seemingly from nowhere. “Oh, uh, yeah. Patton, right?” “Mhm! Gosh, isn’t this just so fun?! I love how you two match! Is purple your favorite color?” “Uh. Yeah. It's um, a good color.” “I’ll say! It brings out your eyes.” “... Right. Um, you look nice, too?”

Patton was wearing a baby blue suit and brown dress shoes. Apparently no effort was made to match with each other. That made Virgil wonder if he and Remus were doing too much.

“Aw, thanks! I think you’d get along well with my buddy, Logan.” Now that piqued Virgil’s interest. “Logan from debate club?” “Yeah! Do you know him?” “Not personally, but Janus talks about him a lot.” Patton gasped. “You’re friends with Janus?! Logan talks about him all the time, too! Always saying how it’s so infuriating that Janus can find ways to use logic to defend the most ‘ludicrous’ points! It seems like they’re getting along well.” Virgil noted that information for use later. “Yeah, sounds like Jan.” “Oh, let’s go find our seats! Can I sit next to you?” “Sure.”

Virgil was hoping Patton knew not to ramble on while the actual ceremony was happening and briefly wondered if he was a wedding cry-er. Hopefully Roman had that all handled and this wasn’t actually the worst idea he’d had in his life.

As Virgil and Patton were talking out loud, Roman and Remus were having a silent ‘argument’ mostly consisting of Roman throwing a tantrum and Remus egging him on. Remus noticed immediately when their dates started moving on, but waited for Roman to notice which didn’t take too long.

“Why did you bring him of all people? You finally ask him out and your first date is to a wedding that neither of you probably want to be at?” “Who said this is our first date?” “What?! When?” “Actually this isn’t the first date because it’s not a date. Not a real one. He’s just here because I wanted someone to come with me.” “So you’re going to torture yourself all night? That’s a new level of masochism for you.” “And what about Patton? I happened to notice one of you is bright red and the other is soft blue.” “Well… We’re not on a proper date either. He just really likes weddings!” “And you really like him! That’s so cute, I could puke.” Roman groaned. “We should probably go sit with them before they worry about us.” “Yeah, I dunno if we’re even on their minds.” Remus gestured to where their dates sat. “Huh. I guess I should have expected our little ball of sunshine to chase some of doom and gloom’s clouds away.” “He would take offense to that.” “And when has that ever stopped me?”

Remus shrugged and began making his way to the row of chairs, Roman just behind him.

-

“My mom wanted me to get lots of pictures, too.” “Oh, I'll take them for you!” “Oh, you don't have to, really.” “That's ok, I love photography! Plus this will be great for my scrapbook!” “Your scrapbook?” “With pictures of all my friends!”

Virgil wasn't really sure talking with someone for 20 minutes tops made them friends, but he wasn't going to be a jerk and say it. Plus, he might not know him well, but Patton seemed like a cool enough guy. Plus if he was dating Roman and friends with Logan, they'd probably be seeing each other more often. Speaking of which…

“How long have you and Roman been together?” “Oh well, we're not really… He just mentioned the wedding and I said how much I love weddings and he asked me if I wanted to come so I said yes. I like him, but I don't know if he feels the same way about me…” “Look, Roman may be obnoxious and rude and a jerk and bullheaded and not very bright-” “But?” Oh right, he was making a point. “But he's not the type to just lead someone on. If you were here as friends he wouldn't be treating you like a date. So has this felt like a date?” “He kissed my hand when he picked me up?” “Damn. He's down bad.” “That doesn't sound good…” “It means he's super into you.” “Oh! Do you think?” “For sure. Just start flirting with him and if it fries his brain he likes you. He can give, but he can't take it.” “How do you know all this?” “I've been friends with Remus basically since we were born. I've witnessed all of Roman's embarrassing crushes. Including Mrs. Paisley in the fourth grade.” Patton laughed. “That's so cute!” “Oh, shh, here they come.” “Gossiping already?” Remus asked.

Virgil shrugged and shot Patton a wink who then giggled. Roman glared at him on his way past, but Virgil didn’t feel the least bit threatened.

“Oh, I know! We should all take a group picture! Roman, can you take it?” Patton passed his phone. “I suppose.” “Ok, everyone say groupie!” “What?” Virgil choked. “Like a selfie, but we’re a group!” Patton smiled, certainly priding himself on teaching someone something new. “... Right. Maybe we could stick with ‘cheese’?” “But that’s so boring.” “Oh, I know!” Roman exclaimed. “In theater whenever we take a picture we say ‘chartreuse’.” “Why?” Virgil asked with a fair amount of judgement in his voice. “Because it’s fun to say!” Virgil thought for a moment then shrugged. “Got me there.” “Ok, then! 3, 2, 1!” Patton started. “Chartreuse!” “How does it look?” “I think I blinked,” Remus joked. “Well I look great.” Roman examined the picture. Patton glanced at Virgil before taking a deep breath. “You always do.” “Oh, um, well, yes, of course, naturally.” Roman pulled at the collar of his shirt and looked anywhere but Patton as his face began to match his suit. “Um, here's your phone.” Roman tried to hand off the phone without looking at the recipient which resulted in some waving and close calls before Patton was able to grab it.

Before anymore awkwardness could ensue, someone called for everyone to take their seats. The ceremony itself was nice enough. It certainly helped that it was short. Virgil was, however, correct about Patton being a wedding cry-er, and since Roman was trying too hard to be normal and not obvious about his crush, it was Virgil patting Patton’s back. Then again, he thought he saw Roman wipe away a tear or two, so maybe they would have just created a feedback loop and ended up bawling.

After they were dismissed, the wedding party and immediate family started with pictures while everyone else mingled or made their way inside to wait. Roman ushered Patton off somewhere, probably to avoid his brother and his brother’s date, but possibly to make some moves… Nah, Roman might be bold and brash, but he wasn’t nearly as brave when it came to being vulnerable. If anything, Patton would be the one to start things and they'd find Roman as a newly formed puddle of goo somewhere amongst the roses.

The twins’ mom caught up to Remus and Virgil, grinning widely, not unlike her usual expression. Virgil had yet to see her frown even a little bit and it was honestly a little off putting.

“Oh, you brought Virgil! You clean up so nice, sweetheart! And here I was worried he'd bring one of those delinquents.” “Mom!” “Hi, Mrs. Kingsley. Did you change your hair?” “I did! Thank you for noticing! Even my boys didn't say anything…” “It looks good. The cut really suits your face shape and the color brings out your eyes.” “Hey, if I wasn't allowed to bring your mom, you can't flirt with mine,” Remus muttered. “Such a gentleman! Well, I won't bother you two, thank you for coming to celebrate with us!” “Of course, thanks for having me.” “What a charmer. Now where did I leave my husband?” She muttered to herself as she walked away. “Ah, good ol’ Dad. How long do you think he can give Mom the slip?” “5 minutes tops. She’s like a bloodhound.” Remus dramatically gasped and put a hand to his chest. “Hey, that’s my mother you’re talking about.” “And?” Virgil wasn’t sure where this was going, but he knew it was going to be a good time. “And she’s obviously more of a bluetick coonhound.” Virgil snorted. “Oh, my apologies.” “I’ll forgive you this once, but you’re on thin ice.” Remus grinned. “Careful, you know how I am on the ice, you might have to hold me.” Remus flushed. “Well if you insist.”

Virgil tilted his head slightly in confusion, but let Remus link their arms. He’d only been calling back to their ice rink adventure the past winter with Janus and how atrociously he’d done. They’d both had to practically carry him off the ice. Luckily Remus was as extra as his brother and had rented out the whole rink so no one else was there. He couldn’t think of why that might make Remus uncomfortable, and if he was uncomfortable, why he got physically closer. Leave it to Remus to be entirely unpredictable.

Virgil let Remus lead him inside to find their table. It looked like Remus, Virgil, Roman, and Patton would get a small table to themselves. That worked out well enough.

“So how long do you think it will take those two to get together for real?” “If Patton doesn't completely fry Princey's brain, I'd bet by the end of the night. Didn't he always want to meet a prince at a ball?” “When I was like five!” “Hey, I found him.”

Virgil turned to face the disembodied voice so that it might be bodied again.

Roman huffed. “I wasn't lost.” “Where's your date?” “Bathroom. What exactly were you two talking about?” Virgil looked Roman up and down and grinned. “Nothing much.” “You're the worst. Why did you even come?” “Free food.” “Not even going to pretend you came for Remus?” “Not yet he hasn't.” “Remus!” Virgil and Roman scolded in unison.

Virgil shot Roman a ‘this guy’ look which was returned whole heartedly.

“Hey, stop silently communicating about me. Aren’t you two supposed to not like each other?” “Like a prep? Don’t make me laugh.” “Yeah, as if I would ever be friends with an emo nightmare.”

Their beef wasn’t really that serious, but they’d agreed a long time ago they just liked to argue.

“Hey guys, sorry I took a while, there was this butterfly and then a baby needed holding, and you would not believe what Michelle’s boyfriend said to her.” “I don’t know what any of that means,” Remus said with a smile. “Who’s Michelle?” Roman asked. “Man, I could’ve been going on b-plot adventures with Patton instead of hanging out with the twin terrors?” “Well anyway, it’s sorted now. I saw the wedding party making their way here so I think we’ll eat soon.” “My favorite part!” Remus cheered. “My favorite part is the dancing.” “Oof, mine isn’t. I can’t dance,” Virgil said. “Really? I’m a great dancer.” Roman grinned. “Good for you, twinkle toes.” “Ok, rude.” “I’m sure you could do it if you tried!” Patton tried to encourage him. “Oh no, believe me, there would be mass casualties. But if you dance, I’ll be rooting for you.” “Yeah, last time Virgil danced, Janus twisted his ankle and a tsunami hit Japan,” Remus supplied. “Only one of those things was actually related to me.” “You can’t prove Janus twisting his ankle wasn’t because of you.” “I meant- I meant the other one.”

Virgil tried to look to Roman and Patton for support, but Patton was too busy trying and failing not to giggle, and Roman just raised an eyebrow to say ‘You chose his company.’ which honestly was fair.

They made idle chatter until they were able to go up and get food. At some point after they returned to the table, Virgil’s mind began to wander. So far their ‘date’ had actually been pretty good. It wasn’t much different than when they hung out just the two of them outside of dressing up, but nothing else seemed to be expected of them other than being next to each other which they would have been anyway. He knew in some capacity that being someone’s date and going on a date were two different things, but they couldn’t be that different, right? Maybe dating wasn’t as stressful as he’d originally thought.

“Besides, weddings are lame, right Virgil?”

Whoops, someone was talking to him. Remus. What did he ask?

“Weddings are outdated, overly expensive pageantry,” Virgil responded on autopilot. “Ha!” “But this one’s kind of nice.” “Y- What?” “Yeah, I mean your cousin seems nice and it’s a pretty chill event. They seem to really be in love or whatever, I dunno.” “Hmph. Well at my wedding, there are going to be sharks.” “Sharks. Seriously? Talk about expensive.” “Nah, we’ll just get on a fishing boat with a priest. It’ll be cool!” “I am not getting married on a boat.” “Oh, yeah? What’s your great idea then?” “If I had to go through with a wedding, I’d get married under a weeping willow by a river in August as a small gathering of close family and friends.”

Remus was a bit stunned and couldn’t sort out a response, unlike Roman who was snickering and said something that sounded an awful lot like ‘Wow, he’s not like the other girls’. Patton swatted his arm.

“Well I think that sounds wonderful! I hope I’ll be invited!” “Only if your plus one isn’t Roman.” “Wh- Hey! I’ll have you know, I am a fantastic wedding guest!” “Really? Because the only time I’ve seen you at a wedding you spent most of the time antagonizing other guests, so…” Virgil shrugged. “Ok, first of all, the other guests give as good as they get, and second of all, I’d have to be Remus’s best man so I’d be there anyway.”

Right. They were on a date. A fake date. That made everyone present assume they were together. Like people who are dating are. Because they were on a date that just happened to be fake. Virgil felt and promptly ignored a pang of disappointment because he didn’t have time to figure that out.

“Nah, I think Jan’ll be my best man.” “No way! He was my friend first!” “Yeah, well I licked him first!” “First of all, ew, second of all, I doubt that.” “... Pat, do you want to go be anywhere else?” Patton laughed. “Sure. Let’s get some pictures by the flowers!” “Oh darn. I was so hoping to see their reactions when I suggested we pee on him to mark our territory.” “Yeah, I’m also gonna go take some pictures by the flowers-” “No wait!” Virgil laughed. “We should get some pictures though. My mom wanted some, remember?” “Just make sure to get my good side.” “And which side is that?” “My backside!” “Remus!” Virgil swatted him and went to find a place to take pictures.

Soon enough, speeches were spoken, the cake was cut, and the first dances were had. It was honestly really sweet and they all seemed really happy. Virgil wondered what it would be like to dance with someone like that. Would Remus hold him close? Would he twirl him around? Would he tell stupid dirty jokes to try to get Virgil to lose his footing and catch him when he fell? Not that he was thinking about Remus because he wanted to dance with Remus in particular, he just had to substitute someone in, and, well, Remus was just convenient. Obviously.

Besides friends danced together all the time, so it wasn’t even a big deal! Not that Virgil was going to dance with anyone at all because of his two left feet. So that was that about that.

The DJ began to hype the guests up and Roman dragged Patton to the dance floor for the ‘real’ party to begin. As the lights turned down, the purple glow from behind the DJ stand became more apparent, the light gently caressing Remus’s features and reflecting in his eyes. Virgil could vaguely make out a pounding baseline in the background, but everything else just seemed to fade out as time came to a stand still. If Virgil had been capable of thought, he might have been embarrassed for staring, but Remus was staring right back and so any and all cognition was halted.

“Virge?”

Virgil was vaulted back into his body that was then a lot closer to Remus than when he had slipped out of it. Suddenly he was drowning from the volume and the heat. It was too much. Without a word, Remus led him outside into the night. They found a bench to sit on, where Virgil leaned on Remus to ground himself.

“You ok?” “Yeah, sorry. I’m not really sure what happened there,” Virgil tried to laugh. “Don’t worry about it. It was stuffy in there anyway.”

Virgil remained silent in hopes that Remus somehow wouldn’t be able to see through him this time.

“You know, even if Janus wasn’t busy, I would have asked you first.” “Why?”

Remus didn’t speak for a while, but somehow the silence wasn’t tense or uncomfortable. Virgil knew Remus would answer him when he was ready. He always did.

In the meantime, they could hear the music where they were, though it was much quieter. A few songs played as they sat leaning on each other with the scent of flowers heavy in the air. The night was dark but warm and with a gentle breeze. Tree frogs chirped and some birds sang. It really was a nice night. Romantic, some might say, but Virgil wasn’t much for romance. At least he never had been. Then the song changed to something slow and gentle which pretty much sealed it.

Remus stood up and offered a hand. “May I have this dance?” “Remus.” “C’mon, it’ll be fun!” “You know I have two left feet.” “S’alright if you step on my toes. You don’t weigh that much.” “Remus.” “Please?” Remus moved ever closer, whispering into his ear, “I’ll make it up to you.” “Wh- I- Huh?” Virgil was glad for the dimness of the area that would hopefully cover up how red his cheeks were suddenly getting. “Besides,” he leaned back again, “no one will see us out here anyway.” “O-oh. Um, well… I guess…”

Remus’s laugh was softer than Virgil had ever heard it. Well, that wasn’t quite true. They’d stayed up late before, just the two of them, and Virgil had said something stupid, he couldn’t really remember what, but it had been like this that time, too. He let himself be pulled up and forward. Remus put one hand on his hip and held his hand in the other. Virgil lightly placed a hand on Remus’s shoulder.

“Get comfortable. I won’t bite unless you ask me to.” “You’re the worst.” “You wouldn’t want me any other way.” Virgil huffed a laugh. “I guess.”

Remus led Virgil, slowly at first starting with just swaying, then moved to taking steps one at a time. They weren’t even going to the pace of the music, but it didn’t seem to matter to either of them. Virgil found it to be dissimilar to the scenario he’d concocted in his head, but he liked the real one better.

They continued slowly advancing long past when the song had ended and something else had come on. Virgil felt like he was getting the hang of it and it was actually pretty fun. They moved together, predicting each other like they’d been doing this for years. It was easy enough to fall in sync with each other which was less surprising the more Virgil thought about it.

Inevitably, Virgil stumbled into Remus who prevented him from falling further. Remus had moved his arms to catch him, and now both were around his waist holding him close.

“Hey there,” Remus whispered. “Um, hi,” Virgil whispered back.

Remus looked like he wanted to say something, so Virgil waited.

“You're beautiful.”

Virgil absolutely did not squeak, don't believe Remus when he tells you.

“I've wanted to tell you that for a long time.” “You've never hesitated to speak your mind before.” “There hasn't been anything this important to me before.” “Remus… What are you… ?” “You don't know?”

There it was. The thing that Virgil knew he knew but had tricked himself into not knowing for the sake of his sanity. That little fact that scared and excited him. The answer to his question ‘Why?’

“Tell me anyway?” “I really like you, Virgil. I want to take you on real dates and be your real boyfriend.”

Now, Virgil had never had a boyfriend before, never been on a date, never even held hands with someone he was interested in. This made him nervous. What if they had a fight and broke up and it ruined everything and Janus took his side and left Virgil all alone? But what if rejecting him had the same effect? How could he survive without his best friends? He'd have to move to Alaska and become a fisherman and he really sucked at fishing-

“I can hear you overthinking it. Forget about everything else, whatever eventualities you're running. What do you want right now? How do you feel? I'm not going to abandon you for not feeling the same way.”

Virgil sighed, partially in relief. Somehow Remus could always read him like a book.

“Right now… I want to stay here. Like this. With you. I feel- I feel… like I hadn’t even dared to think about it because you’re important to me, Rem. I want you in my life. I don’t know what I’d do without you. But…” “But?” “But now I’m thinking about it. And I’m thinking that the things I’m feeling maybe aren’t totally platonic. I just don’t want to say I feel the same and be wrong.” “Then how about this: Virgil, would you allow me to take you on a date? And if you enjoy it, another one after that?” “I- I think I’d like that. A lot.” “Then a date it is. We can worry about the rest later.” “You know I’m not really good at putting off worrying.” “Then I’ll just have to distract you until then.” “And how do you plan on doing that?” “Hmm…” Remus leaned back slightly and looked up to the right, pretending to think. “Well there is one thing that might work?” “What’s that?” “Can I kiss you?”

Virgil’s mind stuttered to a halt and all function ceased. Even his heart felt like it skipped a beat.

“Kiss? Me?” The wheels in his head began turning again, slowly at first, then going a mile a minute. “Well, um, if you want to. You don’t have to obviously, I don’t want to push, and if that’s too fast, or if you never want to-” “Rem?” “- that’s ok, too, I mean, like obviously. And we can totally do anything else-” “Rem.” “- it’s no problem. Hey actually, why don’t we go back in and pretend this never happened-” “Remus!” Remus swallowed. “Um. Yeah?” “Just kiss me already, stupid.” “O-oh. Right! Ok!”

When they got back to Virgil’s house, his mom was waiting for them on the front porch. They got out and Virgil let Remus go first with a poorly concealed grin. Yeah, this was going to be fun for one of them, and that one was not Remus.

-

“Hi, Auntie.” Remus was more than a bit nervous, but to be fair Virgil's mom was the most intimidating 4’10“ woman you'd ever meet. “If you hurt my Virgil, I will use the good pan.” “Yes, ma'am!” “Good boy. Now show me the pictures!”

[sanderssidesthehouse]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Virgil asks Logan if water is wet.

"Is water wet?" "... What?" "Is water wet?" Virgil restated. "Well, no. The majority of scientists agree that wetness is a liquid's ability to maintain contact with a solid surface, so by that definition, water makes things wet, but water is not wet." “So water can’t make itself wet because water is a liquid, but it could make ice wet because ice is a solid.” “Correct.” “And what about other definitions?” “Some people define wet as being ‘liquid or made of moisture’ but in that case nothing other than liquid or moisture would be wet and that definition wouldn’t apply to what the liquid or moisture was touching which would make it a very hard word to use and obviously is not in the spirit of the meaning when someone says something else is wet.” “Yeah, that wouldn’t make sense.” “Indeed.” "So if I put my hand in some water, I couldn't say that it's wet." "Well you could say 'it's wet', but 'it' would be your hand and not the water." "Well that was a lot more straightforward than I thought it would be." "Indeed." "... So is a hot dog a sandwich?" "I'm not having this conversation with you.” “Do you believe in cube theory?” “I’m walking away.” “Logan! It’s important!” Virgil said oh so seriously with a shit eating grin and humorous lilt. Logan turned around and hissed, very poorly, honestly. “Did- Did you just hiss at me?” “It seemed very effective when you did it.” “I- It could use some work.” “Really?” “Yeah, you should hiss a bit farther forward in your mouth.” “Like this?” Logan tried again, sounding more like a cat and less like a cat whose voice was garbled because it was drowning. “Just like that!” “I see. Thank you for the invaluable information.” “Oh, uh, yeah.” Virgil looked down and scratched the back of his neck, trying to hide the rising heat. “No problem.” When he looked back up, Logan was no longer there. “Invaluable… I wonder what he’ll use that for…”

-

“Oh, Logan! Virgil!” Roman called. “I have something I just absolutely need you two to look over! It’s a personal project, but of utmost importance.”

Virgil didn’t move from where he was lounging with his feet on Logan’s lap scrolling through Tumblr, but Logan looked up from his book. And hissed.

“I- Did… you just hiss at me?!” Virgil quickly looked at Logan then back to Roman and did the same. “I- I just can’t with you right now. I’m telling Patton not to leave you two alone together anymore.”

They both snickered as Roman briskly walked away, presumably to tell on them. Worth it.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/63944296/chapters/164015257

And I said, what if I posted another first chapter of a WIP?

Summary: Remus is losing, Logan is mad, Roman is devastated, Patton is trying his best, Virgil is caring about people, and Janus is fixing for a coma. One way or another, something's got to give.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62454829

Link is being weird RIP. This is my submission for janus week day 2 @darksideweeks prompt: shedding.

The scales had not been his idea. That one belonged to Creativity and Morality. Not that they’d done it on purpose, of course, and neither of them would have dreamed of inflicting the pain they’d caused when they sprouted, but still, if you were looking for a source, that was where you’d have to look.

That being said, Janus rather liked his scales. They were smooth and pretty and really helped his whole aesthetic. He wouldn’t trade them even if he could. Still, he could do without the shedding. It was itchy and messy and uncomfortable. It wasn’t really fair that he was the only side with permanent animal features. Honestly, it was very rude of Thomas to not have associated any of the others so strongly. Logan could do with some feathers, and no one would mind if Patton was a bit froggy all of the time.

But there he was, on his favorite flat rock under his heat lamp, currently the only source of light in the room, trying desperately not to itch his scales off. It unequivocally sucked. Just his luck to hear a knock at his door. Following the knock was a loud energetic voice. Speak of the devil and he shall appear, Janus mused.

“What do you want?” Janus hissed through the crack he had opened the door.

“Shit, that time already?” Remus responded in lieu of a proper answer.

“What do you want, Remus?”

“Let me in, I’ll help.”

“You just want to eat it.”

“Just a little! Or maybe a lot.”

“Just go play with someone else.” Janus tried to push the door closed only to find Remus had shoved his foot in the crack, and no amount of pushing, pleading, or pain would get him to move it. He knew this from experience.

“Unsupervised?”

“I’m not your keeper.”

“Hmm… Actually I think I’d rather stay here.”

“Remus-”

“So,” Remus pushed the door open, sending Janus stumbling back, “what do we do?”

“I’ve never let you help before, what makes you think I’ll start now?”

“Because I made LoLo tell me all about snake shedding and now I’m an expert. Plus I’m stronger than you.”

“If I want you out, you know I can force you.”

“And yet you haven’t!” Remus plastered his signature shit eating grin onto his face.

“Ugh, fine. Just be quiet.”

“It’ll be like I’m not even here.”

“I sincerely doubt that.”

To his credit, Remus did keep the noise level down, though down for him and down for the average side was an entirely different metric. Still it was an impressive feat for Intrusive Thoughts to tone down the Intrusiveness.

After some time Janus relented and allowed Remus to fetch him some water. If he wanted to be helpful for once, Janus would let him. Though that wasn’t really fair. Remus always wanted to be helpful, it’s just that most of the time no one wanted his help.

“I know you don’t eat much when this happens, so I thought about making you a smoothie, but I remember last time I oh, so graciously made you a smoothie-”

“It was lamb’s blood, pickles, and pig intestines.”

“-and you didn’t really appreciate that so I told Virgil to make a smoothie that doesn’t suck because he actually knows what you like, and he told me to do some things Patton surely wouldn’t approve of, so one might pop up at some point, you know how he likes to be a tsundere.”

“... But you brought some water? Normal water?”

“I milked the stalactites myself!”

“... Remus…”

“Just kidding! I got it out of the tap. But I would milk stalactites if you asked me to. Or even if you didn’t.”

“I’m aware. Feel free to do that on your own time, but if you fall from any significant height or onto stalagmites, do make sure to fix yourself up before you pop back into the living room, hmm? I hate having to replace the furniture.”

“Aw, what’s a little blood on the everything? It adds character!”

“... We can discuss this later-”

“Which means we won’t.”

“-but for now, I would like to drink my normal water and go back to laying peacefully on my rock.”

“Oh, right!” Remus whisper yelled. “I’ll be quiet.”

“Much appreciated.”

Janus artificially sunned himself for about half an hour more before he noticed a smoothie pop into existence on his bedside table. They may not be talking since then, but this was enough for now. Enough to make him smile fondly despite the discomfort, and enough to show that not all was lost.

“Remus?”

“Mhm?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome! What are you thanking me for?”

Janus chuckled. “Never change, hm?”

“Didn’t plan on it!”

[sanderssidesthehouse]

https://archiveofourown.org/works/62343496

My submission for Janus week on shapeshifting! I had another happy little fic I could have finished up for this, but before I knew it, I'd already written an angsty little ficlet. You're welcome, angst enjoyers.

@darksideweeks

Mirror

It still wasn’t right. Again. No, the nose was all wrong. Again. The hair wasn’t falling right. Again. How could he be doing even worse? Again.

He was Deceit. That’s what they called him. Though arguably not the most important part of his job, it was apparently the most notable. So in order to lie he’d have to lie extra. About who he was. But that would only work if he could get it right.

But enough was enough. He clearly wasn’t getting anywhere in the state he was in, so he tried to shift back to himself. Except he made the mistake of thinking about it. Had his hair always been that shade of brown? Or was it darker? And had his arms always been so thin? Weren’t they a bit thicker? He didn’t know what he looked like. He didn’t know what he looked like.

So he covered up as much of himself as possible. It didn’t really matter what he looked like if no one ever saw him anyway. He wasn’t even sure Remus or Virgil would notice the difference. What would they think of him?

Being locked away, Virgil tended towards Paranoia, and knowing Janus could disguise himself as any one of them might not go over so well. Remus would probably think it was fantastic, but he didn’t really want to find out what that might lead to. Even if he did tell them, how could he not remember what he looked like clear enough to become himself again? Surely it wasn’t that hard, considering how similar they all looked, right?

But there were minute differences he’d been working on perfecting. Along with looks, there was the way they all carried themselves, speech pattern, small tics and habits. He’d forgotten to learn and memorise his own.

Maybe it wasn’t so bad. He’d already decided he had to be someone else to help Thomas, so what if he happened to become someone else in general? No one liked the old him- well no, that wasn’t true. Sure Remus was generally apathetic and Virgil tended to fight with him a lot, but they had their moments. They were all each other had, condemned to the same fate.

Janus had promised to get them out. He’d never promised to get himself out, at least not in tact. So what if he had Virgil’s arms and Patton’s hair color and one of Logan’s sharp eyes? They were all constantly trying out new things. Maybe this was an opportunity. To build himself the way he wanted. He hadn’t memorised what he’d left behind, but he could create what he wanted to morph into. Yes, that would be perfect. And after all, he was Deceit. He could make sure no one ever knew the difference.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

What if... ?

Summary: What happens when Anxiety and Intrusive Thoughts work off of each other and are also besties and Janus just wants some peace.

A/N: I'm categorizing this as Found Family for @platonicsidesweek. They're um… well they're something. I just like the idea of Virgil and Remus causing problems on purpose for pleasure and profit. The 'dark' sides must have been so bored stuck in the basement.

CW: Swearing, vague mentions of violence/disaster

AO3

“What if we get into a car crash on the way there?” “What if there’s a gas leak and when they light the candles the whole place explodes?” Remus grinned. “What if the gift we got sucks and everyone hates us?” Virgil grinned back. “What if a crazed killer escapes and starts biting everyone?” “What if- wait, biting?” “It could happen.” Virgil raised an eyebrow. “Fine, what if their dog got rabies and bit everyone?” “You’re really fixated on biting today.” “The crazed killer could have rabies, too! It comes full circle.” “Would you two quit it?” Janus hissed. “He’s going to the birthday party regardless so if I have to hear one more ‘what if’ there will be consequences.”

There was a single, blissful moment of quiet where Janus thought he might have won, that maybe they would give up easily this time. One single glorious moment.

“… What if instead of rabies the dog and the killer had a zombie virus?” Remus whispered. “What if we drown in the pool and no one knows CPR?” “That’s it! Remus, no good boy mush for a week!”

Remus screeched in response.

“And Virgil…” Janus’s thunder was temporarily stalled because there honestly much you could punish Virgil with without it causing more problems than it was worth. “Get on top of the fridge!” “Ugh, this house is a fucking nightmare!” Virgil yelled back as he dutifully climbed on the fridge. “Now, Remus, go clean your room and maybe you can earn back your slop.”

Remus grumbled as he slowly stomped back to his room. Janus knew it wouldn’t get any cleaner but he’d have some peace and quiet for a time until the two of them found something else to fixate on. At least it had been tame this time.

[sanderssidesthehouse]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Cutting it close, but I just finished what I was working on for @intrulogicalweek. I used the alternate prompt Role Swap.

Remus convinces Logan to let them switch roles for a day. What will they get up to? What will they learn? Anything worth knowing?

CW: Talking about torture/harm? It's not graphic.

“You’re smarter than you give yourself credit for.” “And you’re more creative.” “Well I wouldn’t say that.” “You don’t have to, I already did.” “... I suppose.” “Actually, I have a great idea!” “That sounds dangerous.” “We should switch!” “Switch?” “Jobs! Temporarily. Think of how fun it would be! I could tell Tomathy all of the fun facts and you could make him think about horrors unfortunately within human comprehension!” “I was right. It was dangerous.” “Think about it, LoLo? What could possibly go wrong?!” “Besides quite possibly everything?” “Yeah, besides that.” Logan sighed. “How long is ‘temporarily’?” “One week!” “Half an hour.” “Six days.” “... a whole hour.” “Five days.” “Twelve hours.” “Four days.” “One day, final offer.” “I’ll take it!” “That’s more than you thought you were going to get, wasn’t it.” “I didn't think you’d agree at all.” Another sigh. “Tomorrow, then. Starting at 9 AM. Based on the schedule, there isn’t anything of importance occurring so it should be a safe day to temporarily switch roles.”

At 9 AM sharp, Logan heard a knock at his door. Considering Remus was never on time for anything, Logan wondered just how important this exercise was to him. Of course it could have been another side, but there was no reason for anyone else to be at his door. At any rate, he could simply open the door and prove himself right.

“Remus,” Logan nodded in greeting. “You ready to get tingly?!” “I wasn’t aware a tingling sensation was part of the process. Have you done this before?” “Yeah… But let’s focus on this right now. It’s going to be so fun!” “We shall see. How do we begin?” “Ok, just hold my hands and close your eyes. Do your best to feel creative!” “But how will I ‘feel’ creative? Of course I have ‘created’ before, but it was more out of necessity than some frivolous ‘feeling’.” “You like Star Trek, right? And Dr. WHO? There’s a lot of creativity and metaphor in those, as well as rules! Half of creating something is based on making up rules.” “Really? I suppose that’s correct. For example, The Lord of the Rings-” “Is a masterpiece we can talk about later. Are you ready? You promised me a whole day!” “Right. I suppose I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Commence the tingling… I regret saying that.” “I don’t. Don’t worry, LoLo, I’ll make sure to get you real tingly.” “I’m going to ignore that statement.” “Now you’re stalling.” Logan sighed. “Alright. Hands held, eyes closed, feeling creative. I’ve done harder things before.” “I would love to see you do some hard things-” “Now who’s stalling?” “Right, right.”

Doing his best to feel creative, Logan did in fact start to feel a tingling sensation. The longer it went on, the easier it was to think up new and more outlandish ideas, that he could then root back in a sort of logic, of course. This switch would temporarily create a logical Creativity and a creative Logic. How fascinating.

“That should do it,” Remus said after a bit. “If my calculations are correct- Nah, I’m definitely Logic now.” “Well I am definitely feeling more frivolous. Hmm… Perhaps a change of wardrobe is in order.”

Logan snapped a new outfit into place. It had an overall sci-fi aesthetic because, after all, it was still Logan. He had a flowing lab coat, black slacks, dress shoes, a dark blue sweater over a white collared shirt, a communicator, and his glasses were now hi-tech. On his hip was some sort of ray gun and he held a clipboard.

“Yes, this should do nicely.” “Damn. All that creativity and that’s what you do with it?” “I believe this to be sufficient. I may currently be performing as Creativity, but I still value practicality.” “Why don’t you dress me up, too, then?” “Shouldn’t you do that?” “Wouldn’t it be more logical to allow Creativity to design me an outfit? That’s no longer my department.” “Hm. I suppose. As Thomas's current Logic, it is imperative that you are taken seriously. With that in mind, I believe this will do.”

Logan snapped and Remus found himself in a forest green tweed jacket with black elbow patches, a solid black sweater vest over a white shirt and green tie, black slacks and black dress shoes with a matching green wing tip.

“I’m a philosophy professor. I’m like a substitute teacher but I’m the actual teacher. No one is going to take me seriously.” “But you’re wearing a tie.” “I… I can argue with that, but I don’t think you’re ready for that kind of character arc yet.” It felt exceedingly strange to be able to hold back his thoughts for once. He wasn't sure he liked it. “Well from a narrative standpoint if one were to partake on an arc starting with believing a tie to gain respect, the next logical step would be to remove that foundation either in realizing one hasn't been respected and is simply in denial or realizing that it is not the tie gaining one respect. Each of those paths would diverge to many-” “I'm going to stop you right there. We don't have time to take each possibility to its logical conclusion and I think that would hurt you.” “I- I can’t stop. I have to-” “Hey, Lo, do you remember that time Virgil hissed at you during a debate?” “Yes, though I didn't realize you were aware of that, and I'm not sure how it's relevant-” “Yeah, that was pretty funny. We should go see Virgil.” “Oh, ok. Are we having another debate? I quite enjoy them. Maybe I'll have a new perspective now, that would be interesting. Say, maybe we should have a debate-” “Maybe later. Right now we're going to see Virgil.” “Right, you said as much,” he confirmed more to himself than to Remus. “Why are we going to see Virgil?” “He's fun to be around.” “Oh, that's true, I enjoy his company. He's probably my best friend. I should tell him.” “Great! Let's go do that.”

Remus knew Virgil was in the common room with Roman and Patton which could possibly cause problems, but the most important thing was to get Logan to someone who could help him out of a spiral if he started again. Janus would have been ideal but he was currently with Thomas and would probably scold them for doing something so inadvisable.

“What the fuck.” “Virgil!” Patton scolded. “We swapped roles.” Remus informed them. “You can do that?” Roman asked. “For this fic, apparently.” Logan responded. “Hey, I want to swap with Roman!” Patton exclaimed. “Uhhh…” “He doesn’t want you to because he doesn’t trust you to not accidentally blow us all up, but he doesn’t want to say anything to avoid hurting your feelings. Why did I say that?” “Likely because you not only took my role as Creativity, but also Intrusive Thoughts.” “... I had failed to consider this.” “You really think that?” Patton asked Roman. “Well… I’m sure you’d end up doing fine, I’m just a bit nervous, is all. I’m not fond of the idea of switching roles and I’ve only had all of two seconds to ponder the idea in the first place.” “Oh, I get it. I think it would kind of feel like a piece of me was missing if I switched with someone, and you love being Creativity.” “Plus, seeing the side effects Logan is having, I wouldn’t want to put you through being the Ego as well. It’s definitely not the highlight of my job.” “That’s true.” “He-” “Woah, buddy!” Remus interrupted Logan because he knew exactly where that statement was going to go. “Wasn't there something you wanted to tell Virgil?” “Me?” Virgil looked at Logan wide eyed and started playing with his hoodie string. “Oh! Yes. I quite enjoy your company and consider you my best friend.” “Oh. Uh, yeah. Same here, bud.” Virgil responded casually but his blush and the changing color of his eye shadow gave him away. Logan grinned. “Woah. I didn't know he could do that.” Roman stared in disbelief. “What? Experience emotions or smile?” “Janus! I thought you were busy…” Remus said nervously, trying to hide behind Logan. “I wasn’t in the middle of something when I felt a disturbance… and this wouldn’t explain it.” “So um…” Janus leaned in close and softly hissed his response to the question he knew Remus was asking. “Virgil's eye shadow isn’t purple so I won’t be ignoring this as long as nothing goes wrong.” “You got it, boss!” Remus gave a salute. “Now, if you don't mind, I don’t have to get back to what I was doing.” “See ya later, Janny!” Janus rolled his eyes and sunk back out. “Now that that's settled, I have the distinct urge to fill out some paperwork or perhaps a puzzle or test of some sort and I’m looking forward to the tingly sensation I’ll experience afterwards,” Remus stated. “Oh! I could make a puzzle! I have so many ideas… Would you prefer trap doors or flame throwers?” Logan asked. Remus chuckled. “I'm in danger.” “Quite possibly! Let us away, good fellow! We've much to explore!” “Is that ok? Should we let him do that?” Patton asked. “Why is he talking like that?” Roman felt was the more important question. “Yeah, um, I'm just going to go with them,” Virgil announced. “Oh, goody, Virgil, you can help me with the design. Oh! I know! You should try being Creativity next. You'd be so good at it.”

Remus was doing his best not to feel jealous. Why would he feel jealous? Great question. He didn't think it was prudent to examine those emotions under the current circumstances so- Oh no, he sounded like a nerd inside his own head now. Unfair. He recognized that he'd always been smarter than he'd let on, but at least he had talked like an actual person. And repressing shit? That was new. Honestly he couldn’t wait to be Intrusive Thoughts again, as crazy as that sounded.

On the brief walk to the door, their conversation turned to plotting out various traps and consequences as Logan couldn’t very well plan the puzzles with his guinea pig listening. They’d gotten to the particularly interesting subject of flammable substances when they arrived at their destination.

“Well, here we are. The door. To the imagination. My domain. Half, anyway. Temporarily yours. Here it is.” “You good, Rem?” Virgil raised an eyebrow with a knowing smirk. “I am adequate, thank you,” Remus bit out. He groaned. “Logic’s nerd is infecting me.” “Seems like neither of you fully thought about what would happen,” Virgil remarked. “To be fair I’m not really known for thinking anything through, and I piqued Curiosity’s interest.” “This is true,” Logan agreed. “Speaking of Curiosity, I can’t wait to see how you’ll horrifically maim me.” He pushed the door open and led the others in. “You won’t be harmed if you solve the puzzles, which you should be able to as acting Logic.” Logan immediately began manipulating their surroundings as if he had been doing this all his existence. “Mm, but I think I’d rather go through as Creativity. It would give me some good material.” “I see. That makes sense, but that is to be expected. I expect you’ll continue to make perfect sense until the point at which we switch back.” “I made sense before… Right, Virgey?” “Umm… Janus said he didn’t want to be bothered, so…” “Ugh! Well I made just as much sense as you!” “Why are you dragging me into it?!” “Yes, that seemed rather emotionally charged. The logic was not sound.” “Wh- Well- I-” Oh, so that’s what it was. “Remus is just jealous that you think I would do a good job as Creativity when you haven’t told him the same.” “That’s preposterous-” “Oh, you do a fantastic job at your role. You've been limited in the past but now that you've been given the free range to perform your duties you've created amazing things. It's regrettable that you were ever restricted the way you were. I wonder what other amazing things we could have made.” “We?” “I never minded working with you. Sure you can be annoying, but no more than any of the others. It was honestly refreshing to have someone explicitly state their mind so I didn't have to guess where the miscommunication was happening. In actuality, I rather enjoy your company. You've always had interesting ideas, even if your timing could use improvement. Though I’ve grown fond of your intrusions, despite all logic.” Jumping right over that innuendo, don’t ruin the moment. “Gee, you sure know how to make a guy feel special.” Whoops he went sarcastic to avoid genuine emotion. “You are special. To me, anyway.” “I-” Remus choked. “Um, yeah. You too. To me. Yeah.” “How eloquent,” Logan chuckled. Remus cleared his throat. “Right, so we were contemplating the effectiveness of oil versus slime?” “Oh, yes. Oil could seep in and coat quite nicely, but slime being viscous and sticky would allow for longer burn time which would allow the victim- participant,” Logan corrected himself, “more time to attempt to complete the puzzle.” “Assuming the goal is for the ‘participant’ to complete the puzzle, the second option would serve better to further the goal. I can’t wait until we switch back and you set me on fire.” “First I must set up the puzzle. I’m thinking a maze… perhaps a labyrinth of sorts…” Logan walked further into the space he had created, now covered in cobblestone and began raising walls around himself.

As Logan started his work, Virgil had something important to say to Remus and then he was getting out of there. Their flirting was like… really weird.

“Hey, Rem?” “Yeah, Virge?” “Look, Lo’s my best friend, and-” “And if I hurt him you’ll hurt me?” “No, you’d enjoy that. If you hurt him, he can take care of that himself, trust me. I was going to say I think he likes you too and I want you guys to be happy. So don’t fuck it up.” “Aw, you do care! Give me a kiss, Emo.” “No, gross. Get away from me.” “Not even a little one?” “I’d rather scratch my own eyes out.” “That can be arranged.” “Ugh. Just don’t blow each other up. I’m leaving you unsupervised so you can get on with it.” “That’s probably a bad idea.” “I don’t know, for some reason I don’t feel that anxious about it.” Virgil turned towards where Logan was drawing up a blueprint. “Bye, Lo! Have fun with your fucked up torture puzzle!” “Thank you, Virgil, I think I will.”

Remus watched in awe as Logan continued to construct the world around them. He’d only ever switched with Janus before, and they hadn’t gone into the imagination then. It had been more of an emergency situation than a fun traipse through another’s function. It was interesting to see how differently Logan functioned as Creativity, having been so used to being Logic. Truly fascinating. And beautiful. Maybe he could convince Logan as Logic to make something here another time.

Remus also noted the differences in how they were affected by the change in role. He himself had gained quite the vocabulary and his thoughts were all in order. It was strange. And Logan had been acting more whimsical where before every word and action had been planned out methodically before spoken or enacted. Even so, Logan was certainly a logical Creativity, while Remus was seeing the possible pros and cons of a creative Logic. He took notes he was sure Logan would appreciate after their “experiment” was over.”

Time passed and passed, and the logical part of Remus’s brain, which was now all of it, actually, was telling him they should go to bed, but Logan wasn’t done yet, and going to bed would mean switching back, so instead he continued to provide occasional feedback and answer any questions that arose until finally Logan let himself fall backwards onto the soft ground outside of the entrance to his puzzle.

“Finished, then?” “Yes. Everything is finished. Is it always this exhausting for you?” “I don’t usually do so much at once, plus once I’ve created something the first time, it’s much easier to create it again or pull from it when I make something else. You had to start from scratch.” “Mm. I did notice that after the first couple of walls, they were a lot easier. Is it alright to rest here? I don’t want to move.” “Nothing in this realm can harm you or I unless you will it, and there are no negative effects for spending that amount of time here as far as I know, though only Creativity has stayed so long here before. It shouldn’t be a problem, though.” “Mm. Let’s switch back in the morning.” Logan summoned a couple pillows and blankets. “Night, Rem.” Remus went to reply, but could already hear Logan snoring. He huffed out a laugh and moved Logan’s glasses from his face. “Goodnight, my star.”

When Logan awoke, he felt more rested than he had in a long while, though he was a bit stiff. Turns out sleeping on the bare ground wasn’t the best for you. He opened his eyes, but everything was mostly blurry. His glasses had to be around somewhere.

Trying to sit up, Logan noticed a weight across his midsection, then felt stirring behind him. Right, Remus was there, too.

“G’mornin’ Lo.” “Good morning, Remus.”

Logan patted around and found his glasses next to him. That was better.

“Time to switch back, huh?” “Mm. Though I find it regrettable that you did not get to experience as much of Logic’s role as I did Creativity’s.” “We could always do this again, sometime.” “I would not be opposed.” “Really?!” Logan laughed. “This experience was rather enjoyable as well as enlightening.” “Woohoo!” “Indeed. We should switch back before Thomas needs to call upon our functions now, though.” “Right, right. We just do the same thing as before, but in reverse.” “That makes sense.”

The switch back was a lot easier than the original swap and took even less time.

“Ah, it feels good to be Logic again.” “Oh, yes! my Intrusiveness is back. I don’t know how you stand thinking all the time, even about nothing in particular.” Logan smiled. “So would you like me to set you on fire now?” “You already have.” Remus was suddenly holding both of Logan’s hands and acting serious. “Did I? I don’t see any flames… Or was there a previous time that I can’t recall, which would be strange-” “No, no. I was trying to be romantic.” “Isn’t that Roman’s thing?” “Yeah, it felt bad.” “I also don’t see how that would be romantic.” “Like we established: Not my thing.” “Ah. I have a few books I could lend you. I’ve read quite a bit on the topic to try to better understand issues that are farther out of my area of expertise and so that I can attempt to understand the others’ point of view.” “Nerd. I’m surprised you didn’t ask why I was trying to be romantic.” “...” Logan suddenly became very red and cleared his throat. “Yes, well, usually that goal has a particular intent which isn’t hard to guess.” “You didn’t even think about it.” “You have no evidence of that.” “I’d argue the contrary.” “You would argue the contrary regardless of topic or opinion, that’s one of your favorite activities.” “Can’t argue with that! Can I just rip my heart out of my chest for you and call it a day?” “That won’t be necessary. I believe I’ve gotten the picture.” “And?” “And?” “Come on, don’t leave me hanging, LoLo! Do you want me carnally or not?” “Perhaps we could start with a date and go from there?” “I’ll take it!” “Good. Can I set you on fire- I mean, start the puzzle now?” “You’re sick, Lo. Good thing I’m into that.” “It was an honest mistake!” “I’m sure. Now how much of this goop should I dump on myself?” “You’re supposed to try to avoid the trap.” “Yeah, we both know that’s not happening. See you on the other side!”

Logan groaned. Sending a masochist through the torture puzzle would skew the data. Oh well. There was always next time.