#signed coomer

[asvrai]

Bubby!? Coomers Bubby?! I'm so excited to finally meet you!! (Also Dr. Coomer was a little worried about you, so it's good you could come here so he can stop worrying.) Did you have a good test? Did Black Mesa also go to hell? - 🐟

That's me! Black Mesa definitely went to hell.

Bubby died!

[Bubnick walks over from where he had been typing away at a computer.]

Temporarily. I...

Look, we were in the labs already so you guys were going to see all my clone bodies anyway, and Dr. Coomer was all mopey.

Well, technically, he sort of... is. Now at least.

I grabbed a backup of Bubby's brain patterns that Black Mesa had on file since he was an experiment, and just kinda... put it in one of the clones.

From the discontinued project that made me-- us.

...That I may have been continuing in secret on my own down here.

I'm a bad*ss combination of brain reuploading, freak of science, and clone now!

[asvrai]

Yeesh. Bunch of babies. 

Except you. I like you.

Bubby, are you being mean to the nanobots?

[asvrai]

Oh, is everyone alright! How is everyone holding up?

And violence seems fun! But I dunno if it's really needed. (Chell Check Anon)

[Gordon looks... better. Not as pale as he was when you rebooted after the fall, and he's gotten a new labcoat to replace the one he'd used as a makeshift bandage. His injured arm is a bit shorter now, ending at the elbow, but it looks cared for and actually bandaged.]

Dunno, ever since I woke up this morning - a little later than the others, but I have blood loss, leave me alone - the basic plan has been along the lines of 'violence'.

[Being able to joke about the whole arm losing thing must be a good sign too.]

That security bot tried to kill the children! Violence is the only answer.

[Coomer smacks one of his fists into the palm of the other with a clang. Seems his cybernetic arms have been repaired, though the synthetic skin covering wasn't salvageable.]

I've been here for like five hours but I, too, endorse the violence.

You're in a copy of my body, how did your pyrokinesis transfer to--?

Whatever, whatever, yes we're going to commit a violence, put that out!

[Bubby snickers and the flames die down.]

[asvrai]

dare for coomer: lift bubby over your head

Easily!

[Coomer quickly scoops up Dr. Bubnick, lifting him above his head with one arm - and does a few shoulder presses while he’s at it - then sets him down.]

Holy sh*t.

[asvrai]

Hell yea, Aperture Science Team™ adventure time!!!

Wouldn’t it be ‘Aperture Science Science Team’?

We’re not going to call ourselves the ASS Team.

Well now that’s definitely what we’re called.

[asvrai]

I... I think Dr. Coomer saved us. I remember us falling, and I closed my eyes and then we were on the ground. 

[From neaby, Coomer speaks up. He is sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall, looking tired. Most notably, however, his arms are visibly metal, and lay like giant limp noodles on the floor.]

Dr. Bubnick, I already told you I did not do any such thing. 

You said you had a plan when you shoved us down that hole, we ended up safely on the ground, and you’re the only one who looks beat up. Who else would it be? 

My plan was to save the children. I had every confidence that the rest of you would perish. 

[asvrai]

You okay there, Coomer? Are you still hungry or something? -✨

Nanobots, I’m full.

[Coomer stands right in the path of the core. Luckily, it stops just in front of him. Unluckily, it starts to wield its instruments in a more threatening fashion. It has knives now. And a culinary blow torch. Its eye narrows.]

An entry called 'how to kill someone with your bare hands'.

Asphyxia is a condition of severe lack of oxygen supplied to the body. In the absence of remedial action it will very rapidly lead to unconsciousness and death. Asphyxia is the same as suffocation and anoxia. Asphyxiation is the act of causing asphyxia, usually by suffocation.

Asphyxia in humans is a medical emergency.

...

[The various implements retract into the core. There is a loud CLUNK as it detaches from the management rail, dropping into Coomer’s arms. It seems it’s been pacified, though it continues to repeat its strange cake recipe in a quiet, monotone voice. Its eye rolls around lazily.]

ᵀʷᵒ ᶜᵘᵖˢ ʳʰᵘᵇᵃʳᵇ, ˢˡᶦᶜᵉᵈ. ᵀʷᵒ ˢˡᵃˢʰ ᵗʰʳᵉᵉ ᶜᵘᵖˢ ᵍʳᵃⁿᵘˡᵃᵗᵉᵈ ʳʰᵘᵇᵃʳᵇ. ᴼⁿᵉ ᵗᵃᵇˡᵉˢᵖᵒᵒⁿ ᵃˡˡ⁻ᵖᵘʳᵖᵒˢᵉ ʳʰᵘᵇᵃʳᵇ...

Bubnick, I’ve made a friend!

[Bubnick is currently making sure all of the ovens and stoves are turned off, but he gives a distracted thumbs up.]

[asvrai]

WAIT! if memory serves right we're passing through the Aperture Science Department for Hip Dance Moves.. it is required by company policy that all persons that pass through this section of the facility do so by breakdancing.

That doesn’t sound right...

I assure you, Dr. Coomer, having lived in this facility my entire life, we definitely don’t have--

...but I don’t know enough about Aperture Science to dispute it! 

[Dr. Coomer starts groovin’! Unfortunately, being crammed inside a vent, Coomer’s Sick Moves just end up hitting Dr. B in the face.]

OW! Coomer, stop it, there’s no reason to--

[A grate just ahead of them starts spewing multicolored light from the room beyond it. As the group passes, they spy what seems to be an entire disco, blaring music to an entirely empty room. Well, empty of living people, anyway.]

... Huh. 

Doesn’t mean I’m going to dance.

[The song changes; some relatively old song from 1989, something about a drug dealer. As the group moves on, you can hear Dr. Bubnick humming along...]