“SIGURD, I Have Something To Tell You.”
IMAGINE: Telling your husband Sigurd that you have been sleeping with another man, and it’s deeper than just sex.
SIGURD:
Sigurd had always been a good husband but lately, you found yourself having to beg him to spend time with you. From his late nights composing music, to the time spent with his brothers, you seemed to be his last priority. Truth be told, you felt that the only times you had opportunity to see him was early in the mornings before he left home and at the occasional feast. It was hard for you to deal with the distance because you had always struggled with self-esteem issues. You spent many lonely nights in your marital bed alone wondering if it was something you had done or said. When you grew tired of thinking, you would sob silently under the furs as your thralls tried their best not to disturb you.
One day, as he was preparing to leave to raid with his brothers, you caught hold of Sigurd’s arm. Confused as to why you were preventing him from dressing, your husband eyed you with confusion.
“Do…do you love me still Sigurd?” You asked, almost afraid of the answer.
Irritated by your question, he shrugged as he continued to dress.
“Of course I do. It is a silly question Y/N.” He exhaled as if he was exasperated.
He then added that he was quite sick of answering the same question every couple of days. His irritation and raised tone, hurt you to your core but you bit your lip so that you wouldn’t let the tears fall. And did you ever want to cry. It was, after all, the only recourse you seemed to have lately. But you held back your emotions fearing that tears would only make him more annoyed with you.
“I am sorry that I always seem to need reassurance.” You confessed. “It is only because I feel you pulling away with all your work and–.”
Cutting you off by placing his finger on your lips, Sigurd gave you a chaste kiss on the forehead and grabbed his sword. With that, his servants and some thralls followed him out the door towards the docks.
As soon as you were alone in the chamber, you cried your heart out. You knew that he was definitely faithful but sometimes you thought he behaved as if you weren’t a woman. As if you didn’t need affection or a gentle touch to let you know he still cared. Even the way he made love had changed. In the past, he would ensure that you were caressed all over but now, he would satisfy only himself.
Three weeks after the ships left, you began to view your childhood friend, who was now a well to do fur-trader, in a different light. He complimented things about you that Sigurd did not. He loved your smile, the curves of your body and even the way laughed when you found something amusing. His eyes were ever full of adoration when he looked at you.
“You are so beautiful Y/N.” Your friend told you one day as you sat in a meadow. “Does your husband not tell you this?”
“He…did. When we were courting.” You admitted as you twisted the stem of a wildflower.
Your handsome friend was surprised at your admission and eyed you keenly with his intense hazel eyes. He could see the sadness on your face despite your smile. It didn’t help that your eyes were watery with tears as well. After a moment, he commented that he would never tire of telling you such things.
“I think you are too good for Sigurd or any man who cannot cherish you properly.”
You asked your friend not to say such things but he did not relent. He eventually took a seat beside you and held you close as you both watched the sunset over Kattegat. After several weeks of coy romantic gestures, star gazing and sunset watching, the two wound up in bed together one fateful evening. It was a night of passion that you swore to yourself was a one time thing and that you would avoid him for good. Despite your best effort to stay away, you couldn’t. Soon, the two of you became lovers and it suited you both quite well for the months that the Ragnarssons were away.
It wasn’t only the lovemaking that drew you to him. It was also the way he constantly made effort to make sure you were happy when you were around him. Whether it was holding your hand or simply listening to you talk, your friend was giving you all the things your husband could not, or did, not want to give anymore.
When the ships returned some time later, the thralls went about your home eagerly preparing the way for their master. You stood in your place as the Mistress of the house awaiting him, but you had not missed him as you aught to have.
Sigurd was quite cranky as he walked in the door, most likely from being battle-worn and travel weary. He did greet you with a warm hug however, before ordering some thralls to draw him a bath.
During his bath, Sigurd expected you to enter and attempt to seduce him as you had done in the past, but you did not. Instead, you sat outside with a cloak over your shoulders, enjoying the night air. When he had dressed for the evenings feast, Sigurd joined you outside.
“Why are you out here Y/N?” He asked with a smile. “I almost feel as if you did not miss me.”
You looked at your husband and gave him a weary smile but said nothing. Confused by your silence, he walked over to you and wrapped his arms around your waist.
“When we get back, I want you to show me just how much you missed me.” He whispered before peppering your neck with kisses and then attempting to kiss your lips.
You knew he wanted a passionate kiss but you instead gave him a long peck and walked away. A bit stunned, Sigurd watched you return inside the house with some confusion. If Sigurd had done so some months back, it would have made you happy, but now, your mind was on another.
When you were all sat for supper at Bjorn’s home, you remained quiet as the Ragnarssons regaled everyone with stories of their glorious kills. The entire time, you did not speak a word nor did you laugh at any of the funny quips. It was obvious that something was wrong with you and everyone could see it.
“What is the matter with Y/N.” A suspicious Ivar leaned over to ask Sigurd. “Did you do something to her?” He inquired as if he had already placed blame on his brother.
Shrugging, Sigurd looked at you with concern and then placed his hand on top of yours.
“Hvad er sagen kone?” (Danish: What is the matter wife) He asked as he looked at you.
Pulling your hand away from underneath his, you stood up. Bjorn, who had been telling a tale, stopped speaking and everyone turned their attention to you.
“Sigurd, I have something to tell you.” You began as he looked at you with keen interest. “I know you no longer love me and so, I have found someone who does.”
Everyone fell silent in the Hall as the shock of your words reverberated through the room. Ivar, who rarely got along with your husband, looked at you wide-eyed before looking at Sigurd with an almost satisfied smirk.
Dumbfounded, Sigurd stood up and walked over to you, his eyes full of confusion. He grabbed you by your wrists and looked down at you in utter shock. Ubbe, Bjorn and Hvitserk watched the two of your with concern.
However, they did not yet intervene since they knew he was not the violent type. Placing his forehead against yours, Sigurd tried to read your expression, hoping, perhaps to find a sign that you were not serious. When he realized that you were in fact very much speaking the truth, your husband’s countenance changed.
“I love you Y/N, do you not know this?” Sigurd whispered in a very low tone as he tried to contain the fury that engulfed his senses.
You could hardly look at him because you did not know if he was merely saying it to save face in front of his brothers. He claimed he loved you now, but had not shown that he did in over two years. How did he expect you to just take his words for face value?
“We will speak of this at home.” He said calmly as he released you and sat back down.
You were utterly mystified at his quick change of emotions, as were his brothers but Bjorn motioned for you to sit back down. Behaving as if nothing had occurred, Sigurd took a drink of mead and began eating again. Even the usually mouthy Ivar, eyed his brother as if he were insane.
Supper continued as normal despite the obvious apprehension everyone had about Sigurd’s demeanor. After the men had enjoyed their tales late into the night, Sigurd began to say his goodbyes and informed everyone you were both leaving. Taking him aside, Bjorn and Ubbe spoke to him in private for a long time before returning. The Ragnarssons watched to two of you leave with pensive glances, hoping that Sigurd had taken the advise of his elder brothers to heart. As the two of you made your way home, you were utterly terrified of what could occur once you arrived. Despite holding your hand, your husband was quiet. When you finally reached your residence, he let go of your hand and looked into the sky.
“I want to stay for fresh air but you may go to bed.” Sigurd said as his curly blonde hair blew in the late night air.
You couldn’t tell what emotion he was feeling due to the blankness of his expression. Afraid to enrage him, you did as he asked. After entering your home you went to your chambers and changed for bed. You tried your best to stay awake to speak with Sigurd. You thought it best that he allow you to leave sooner than later. When he took long coming to bed, you eventually became exhausted and laid down to rest a moment. Soon, you were fast asleep. Some hours later, you were awakened from your sound slumber by someone shaking you gently.
As you opened your eyes, you saw what appeared to be Sigurd, covered in blood as if he had bathed in it. You shook your head and sat up thinking you might have been seeing things. Especially since your eyes had yet to adjust to the candlelight. As you rubbed your eyes and looked at your husband again, you realized he was definitely covered in blood. His blood soaked sword laid on the floor not to far from him. On his knees by your bedside, Sigurd pulled you close to him and looked up at you. You could not believe the scene before you. Even his blonde hair was tinted red from the blood that filed the room with a sweet metallic odor. Despite the fact you were afraid to speak, you had to know. Every ounce of your being told you that he had harmed your fur-trader but you had to hear it for yourself.
“Sigurd, who does all this blood belong to?”
Staring directly into your eyes, your husband replied that he had killed your lover, just as you suspected.
He was a Ragnarsson and paying poor people here and there for information was a mere formality for him. Suddenly, his expression changed to one of anger. He grabbed you from the bed and you soon found yourself on your back with him hovering over you. As you stared into your husband’s crazed eyes in the dimness of your candlelit room, he grabbed his sword.
“Would you like to join him Y/N?
Sigurd asked as he placed the tip of the sword against your jugular vein. He wanted to show you that he knew exactly where he had to cut, if he decided to rid himself of you once and for all. You didn’t know whether to speak up or not. And by the way his hand was trembling, you could get cut by accident if you were not careful. Your husband’s blades were always sharpened and ready to inflict damage, that you knew. Unsure of what to do next, you merely looked into his blue eyes searching for some glimmer of mercy.
“Nothing to say?” Sigurd asked as he searched your face for something you were unsure of. Perhaps he wanted to see you fear him even more. “Fine.”
To your relief and surprise, Sigurd dropped the sword to the floor but continued to hover over you. “I....I do not want to lose you!” He stammered before he paused as if he was unsure what to say next. “At times, I think I do not know how to give or take love. And I hate myself for that. I know I cannot keep blaming my upbringing but I do think it is part of my issue.”
Placing his bloody hand upon your cheek, he stroked your jawline with his thumb. As he was doing so, you felt a bit of dampness strike your chin. To your utter amazement, you realized that it was tears. Tears that were falling from your husband’s sad blue eyes. You could not believe how sincere and candid Sigurd was being in that moment.
“If I have ever made you feel unwanted...” He choked on the words a moment. “I am ever so sorry Y/N.” He looked at you as the tears continued to slide down his cheeks, eventually dropping onto your face. “You have asked me on numerous occasions if I love you....” He gave you a sad smile. “Of course I love you. How could I not? You are the only person that makes me happy.”
An exhausted Sigurd sighed and gently laid his head on your stomach seemingly drained both physically and mentally. Your mind raced about everything that had occurred. From him killing your lover, to the revelation he had just unloaded upon you. Slowly, you placed your hand on his head and began running your fingers through his blood soaked hair, unsure of what to say.
“I love you too Sigurd...I have never stopped.” You finally managed to tell your husband causing him to sit up. He looked into your eyes with awe, almost as if he never expected to hear those words especially with everything that had transpired.
Sigurd brought his face to yours and cupped your cheek. His lips soon met your own as he kissed you hungrily as if you would disappear from his arms. When he broke the kiss he looked at you again, eyes full of affection. He then rubbed his nose against yours playfully as his sadness melted away.
“We will be fine Y/N, as long as we have each other.”
Tagged: @alicedopey @tephi101