This is a brief account of my week in Tallinn last month. I’ll post about the valueless art project separately
Two of the students were kind enough to meet me at the airport, from where we got a bus into town. The locals can ride for free, which means the buses are often nose-on-nose full. Looking out the windows I got my first glimpse of the old wooden houses typical of the area. There was still a fair bit of snow on the streets and big frozen heaps of the stuff appeared at regular intervals. After some searching we found the music hall of residence behind one of these icy mounds. I unpacked my bag and we made our way to the old town to meet Marko, who was setting up his Painting and Waiting show at two separate galleries on Pikk and Hobusepea.
We ate at NoKu, a bohemian club accessed by a dark stairway, the entrance to which is hidden behind a plain wooden door. We sat at a round table and I was introduced to the somewhat baffling Estonian cuisine.
I gave my valueless talk at the Estonian Academy of Arts, which is currently housed in a labyrinthine old building up on a hill overlooking the old town. Afterwards a student showed me the way back to my rooms, for which I was grateful as by now I had lost all sense of direction. I discovered a strange, gaudy off-licence on Gonsiori, which was to prove useful during the coming week.
I enjoyed the unfamiliar neutrality of the rooms at the music hall. Everything so white and sparse. The lighting in the bathroom was garish and I acquired an unhealthy obsession with the wrinkles under my eyes, which seemed to be more prominent than ever. I liked the bed most of all, it was very comfortable and I wasted a lot of time recumbent on it. Beds are a novelty to me - I don’t have one.
I spent the afternoon doing tutorials and missed the beginning of Marko’s openings at Hobusepea Galerii & Draakoni Galerii. By the time I got there the locals had drunk all the wine. Free wine doesn’t last long anywhere, and certainly not here…
We went back to NoKu Klubi and I ate more questionable food and tried the Saku beer, which I liked.
More tutorials and studio visits in the afternoon and then a big opening of the Estonian Artists' Associations's Annual Exhibition at the Tallinna Kunstihoone, and this time there was plenty of wine. It was a strange mixed show of all sorts of clashing artworks, of varying quality, all battling for attention. There were loads of people there and when we arrived I saw a drunken bum being carried out by security guards. For all I know it was one of the artists.
We decided to return to our round table at NoKu but some other people had got there first. We found a smaller round table and proceeded to get riotously drunk on more of that Saku. I rose to the Estonian food challenge once again but the more dishes I tried the less convinced I was.
A student cancelled a tutorial so I had an extra hour to recover. Went to the supermarket and stocked up on herrings. Dragged myself up the hill to the art college; when I got there, one of the MA students was tattooing a mysterious scrap of cut-off skin. Later I returned to my neutral space to chill out and invented the pickled herring / vodka diet.
The students put up their valueless art show at Raja Galerii, which seemed to be near a forest on the outskirts of town.
After the opening of ‘valueless art, bloody strange event’ and lots of jolly tram rides in grey suburbia, we went to two very different parties. The first was in an old hippy studio, somewhere near the train station. It was full of the living dead, risen from their graves and covered in a layer of dust. They were all moving in ultra slow motion and their party food was jam. Cheap toast bread, 10 different types of jam and a box of cornflakes. They were listening to really depressing Estonian crooning music. It was making me want to kill myself.
The second party was in a medieval Rapunzel tower back in the old town. To get to the room one had to climb up a steep stony staircase in the dark, there was a rope to hold on to but I didn’t see it. This party was full of fairy lights and candles and beautiful elves, most of them artists. Some of them even had elf-ears. I was very impressed. One guy told me he often gets mistaken for an elf. I couldn’t stop staring at his ears, which seemed to grow pointier with every glass of vodka tonic. The food was piled up in layers on a table - no such bourgeois things as bowls being used. Apparently it’s called a ‘coat’. I want to have a party and make this. There was a niche at the party that would have been perfect for snogging but sadly all the men were either gay or otherwise engaged. I should have snogged an elfette. In retrospect one is always wiser.
I don’t quite remember leaving the elf party, but the descent must have been quite hellish. The steps really were very steep. There was an exhausting pipe, which wound its way down the stairs like a snake. One could clasp this pipe 'full of old shit and party vomit' to help prevent the otherwise surely imminent plunge into the abyss.
My legs were aching like crazy and I had a huge blister on one toe. After going shopping for more pickled herrings and vodka I decided to chill out and hang out in my music hall of residence, posting rubbish online and napping. In the evening I could hear the sounds of a wild party emanating from somewhere within the building. A group of students were playing live music which sounded like Suicide but weirder. I liked it and was tempted to gatecrash but luckily I was wearing my nightshirt and decided to stay in that comfortable bed.
I met Marko in town. Fortunately he was wearing his bright yellow hat, so I could spot him from a distance. We checked out a gallery space and went to NoKu (again) and sat at the round table and pretended to talk business, concluding that we liked dirt. Then we riffed some surreal nonsense and I drank more Saku beer and I hopped back home to my music hall on my one good foot.
Next time I’ll do the tourist stuff.