send “you okay?” to find my muse sitting alone on a roof at night.
The highway was quieter than he expected. On the one hand, quiet was good because quiet was peaceful and with where his feelings were, he did need some peace in order to stop having quite so many of them. On the other hand, quiet meant that he was able to hear his own thoughts, which could not possibly come to any good. He had come so unaccustomed to silence at night, with all the–upstairs was the way it was. And Oliver couldn’t exactly go upstairs and scold them for it. So he just had to deal with the sounds, which kept him from thinking, but also kept him from cooling off on a bad day.
So the quiet from the roof, even with the highway noises, had left him in a weird headspace. That was the excuse he gave, anyway, when he didn’t hear the door open and close. How pathetic was it, too, that he knew who it was. He could recognized the way the other man closed a goddamn door, knew his walk by the way his footsteps didn’t really make sounds. Oliver sucked in a deep breath, eyes now fixed intently on the one flickering light he could see off by the ramp. He didn’t have to say anything. Hyunho had appeared in his apartment so many times, never wanting to do any talking, so either Oliver chatted, or they were quiet. Hyunho didn’t seem to care which.
Normally, though, Oliver did talk. He had this little ritual he’d begun: start talking about his day, and then find excuses to move around Hyunho so he could inspect him, and then make a snack. But he’d come up here to get out of his own little rut, so falling back into that habit just didn’t appeal for the moment. And maybe Hyunho noticed that, because he did talk first. He talked about his day, his clients, always careful not to talk too much about his job, because Oliver had sort of, kind of let him know that the future-telling set all his superstitions off, and Oliver couldn’t help but tune in, enjoying the quiet hum of his voice.
He went on for quite a while before Oliver looked, surprised not to see any marks or flinches. Somewhere, a part of him was surprised to think that he must not have had that bad of a fight, and then he could hear the ever-present Kiki voice telling him to stop making it his goddamn business. But it really seemed like this time, he was up on the roof for some other reason. The question had voice before he meant it to. “What’re you doing?”
“Talking to you. I thought--”
“No, hey,” he interrupted--something he rarely did, since he liked hearing what Hyunho had to say. “Not like that, man. What’re you doing up here?” You usually come to my apartment after a fight, or you stay home when there’s not a fight. He didn’t need to say it, and he did have some semblance of self-control.
It was too dark out to see if Hyunho flushed at that, but Oliver suspected he did. “I heard you go up but I didn’t hear you come back down.” Unlike Oliver, Hyunho seemed to have some control over what questions popped out of his mouth, judging by the way this one came out slowly, careful, measured. “Is everything okay?”
Oliver shrugged, shook his head, and willed himself not to react like he was completely blown away. He was, but he knew it wasn’t fair. They were friends; friends checked up on one another. It was normal. “Yeah,” he said. It wasn’t even a total lie anymore either. Being up here, and then listening to Hyunho chatter--it had helped, somehow or other. “I’m getting there. It’s nothing to worry about.”
[text]: The guy in front of me in Walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I’m curious and horrified at the same time. (benji/roman)
[4:26pm] Um, I mean I’ve seen condoms and a blowtorch but I don’t know what the chips would be for[4:42pm] Oh god wait is that TMI?[4:43pm] We haven’t talked much about that stuff and I don’t want you to think I’m into anything super weird[4:48pm] Not that there’s anything weird about it if you are into it[4:54pm] Never mind. Forget all of that. Did you remember to pick up envelopes?
SEND ME ‘☏’ FOR A VOICEMAIL MY MUSE WOULD LEAVE YOURS !
not accepting !
IT’S GETTING LATE back home and jaewon knows that, but it’s been too busy of a day to find the time to sit down and breathe. it’s barely nearing evening in london, but soundchecks and meetings for tomorrow’s show have kept jaewon busy. he knows there won’t be much time left before noah falls asleep on him, and hates keeping him waiting --- but also nothing would make his day better than hearing the sound of the younger’s voice. it’s been a week since they’ve seen each other, and the only time they get to spend together now are when they make time to call or facetime, although the timezone difference isn’t so kind to them. it’s 6pm when jaewon checks the time as the phone rings, phone sandwiched between his ear and shoulder as he sits on the empty bed, the loneliness of the hotel room making him feel all that more alone. that means it’s 2am in south korea, which means the chance of noah having fallen asleep on him is much more likely than he’d like to think.
the phone rings and it rings until it stops and a voice tells him to leave a voicemail. jaewon lets out a soft chuckle as he smiles to himself. ‘ i guess you fell asleep on me, ’ he speaks into the phone with a low, defeated voice. ‘ i’m sorry i kept you waiting. it was hard getting away from everyone today, but i hope you aren’t too upset. i promise i’ll make it up to you the second i get home. ’ he goes quiet for a moment. it hits him how far apart they are, and it’ll probably be a little while longer before they’re able to see each other in person. ‘ i miss you, ’ he tells noah’s inbox and pauses as if he’s waiting for a response, but he knows there’s no one there. ‘ it’s always weird not having you here. you’re always here. and i miss you so much, when i went shopping the other day, i bought more shit for you than i did for myself --- so be ready to be spoiled. ’ he laughs into the phone softly, and somehow it gets quieter. deafeningly so. ‘ i wish you were here. i’m going to dedicate a performance for you tomorrow, okay ? i hope you like it. but sleep well and take care of yourself. let’s meet soon, yeah ? i love you. ’
❝ Stay low for a few weeks , just until everything dies down alright ?? ❞ She looks up to meet her father’s , there was nothing but love and warmth in Francesco Wang’s usual sharp and cold eyes ; and for that Margaux felt comforted. She didn’t say anything and just nodded , her pale lips devoid of color stretched into an exhausted smile. ❝ Don’t worry cara mia , Papà will take care of this. This isn’t your fault , everyone saw that. But just to be sure... ❞ Margaux shook her head and leaned in to her father’s arms. She felt like crying , she was just so damn exhausted. Spending seventy two hours inside a holding cell not knowing what was happening , it took it’s toll on her. She could still feel the metallic fit of the handcuffs on her wrist , the damning looks from the prosecutors and the questions ------ so many questions. She just wants to bury them all. How dare they ?? She wanted to forget it. But she can’t , this wasn’t a dream ------ a nightmare that she can wake up from. She should feel bad that someone had died , but she felt nothing but exhaustion.
She felt herself be lifted up into her father’s arms , she said nothing and clung onto him. This was the safest that she had felt in the last three days. She’s safe. She’s home with her father , with Lalaine and with Gareth. She’s safe... She’s gotta to be safe.
❝ ...suspect for the murder of seasoned actor : Choi Sanghun was acquitted from first degree murder after the jury found insufficient evidence relating to the crime--- ❞
Margaux turns off the tv and slammed the remote on the table. It had been two days since the trial , since she was acquitted from all charges yet it was still the content of the news. ❝ Damn reporters. I knew they were going to squeeze everything from this. Why did I expect anything different ?? ❞ Margaux muttered bitterly. She had never had a good working relationship with the press even before this fiasco. Too nosy , they twist her words and she hated them. She shook her negative thoughts away and quickly grabbed her garden hose. She walked out of her flower shop and into the morning sunlight. She counted herself lucky that her neighborhood was a peaceful and united one. Everyone knew what happened , but they were sympathetic and supportive. Everyone believed her , and she couldn’t be anymore grateful.
A gentle smile graced her lips as she gingerly sprayed water over her beloved flowers. Margaux felt relaxed , at ease. Gardening had been the only thing that could haul her out of her bad mood these days and she wasn’t complaining. She hums a soft tune , as she waved the spray head around not noticing that someone was standing close until it was too late. ❝ Omo! Omo! I’m so sorry !! I didn’t--- ❞ she bit her lip and turned off the water. ❝ I didn’t see you there. Did you get wet ? I’m so sorry !! ❞
“You can share my jacket with me, since you’re shivering.” (june/maia)
Maia was too familiar with desparation, too used to the numb feeling inching up her arms, to question the offer. She looked up at Juniper for barely a heartbeat, decision already made before she looked at him to be sure of herself. But she did check before she fell back, slowing until the magnetic warmth of his arm brushed against her back. Normally, Maia was the affectionate one, but that arm of his tucked her into his side in a way someone else might call protective, pulling the side of his fashionably bulky winter coat all the way around her as she wrapped her arm around him to make walking easier.
It smelled like him. Maia had insisted on learning his smell. It was the kind of thing a girlfriend knows about her boyfriend. June liked a clean scent, unfussy, but probably expensive. She wasn’t the kind of cultured where she knew the notes in smells or whatever, but she knew it was him. It was stupid of her to let herself think this way, too close to danger for her own liking, but in a way, the smell was protective too.
So, begrudgingly, she muttered soft, “Th-than-thanks,” knowing he’d only just hear it, resenting the way the shivering that had made him worry about her also made her stutter out her thank you.
“Why aren’t you wearing a coat?” he answered, his typical short self.
“It didn’t match--match my outf-fit,” she answered. “You got thi-is dress sp-special for tonight.” She couldn’t even pretend to herself that she resented it. She loved the dress. It was pretty and soft and she liked how it swished against her thighs when she walked. She had no idea if June liked it. Probably, he did. Why would he buy dresses he didn’t like?
There was no way for her to guess what he was going to say, so his answer didn’t really surprise her. “I’ll buy you a coat.” Short. Brisk. But despite the tone, his arm tightened around her just a little. Maia smiled, squeezing him back, letting her head rest against his side. She didn’t tell him he didn’t have to do that--he would do it regardless, now--but she made a note of it, filing it away with all the other tiny things he did for her, wondering as she often did how she could possibly repay him for even one of them. She wasn’t too proud to rely on him as per the terms of their arrangement, but the small kindnesses he showed her? She wondered how she could even begin to repay those.
Dru normally would have scoffed and brushed the comment off with a “cheesy,” but they weren’t at their most badass at the moment. In fact, they were pretty shaken up, though their pride was high enough that they weren’t going to admit that either. Instead, tehy were left with the awkwardness of having to actually accept help. “Thanks,” they answered, kicking a rock and pointedly avoiding eye contact of any kind. “I uh...yeah.” They didn’t know what they were going to say, so they needed to stop.
Rory stepped forward, though, and Dru took a step back, like they wanted to block him from whoever had messed up their shop, even though that person was clearly long gone. “You probably have to go, uh, water the flowers or something,” they said ruffling the spiky part on the back of their head. Normally, a fresh buzz made them feel good but it wasn’t going to be enough today. “But if I need anything, I’ll definitely take you up on that.” The sad part was, they probably would. They liked spending time with him, even if it was embarrassing like this.
The words--not Roman’s, the other guy’s--had clearly been meant as a joke or a jab or something. It’s because you’re in love with him. The sneer he’d said them with made it clear that he didn’t think one of them was good enough for the other, and Benji wasn’t sure which way it went. All he knew was that Roman looked so guilty and ashamed that it made him nauseous. “You should go,” he said, clearly talking to the other man even though his eyes never left Roman. He made a note to thank his vocal coach for the way he sounded right now, completely confident and unwavering. Years of training, finally put to good use.
Once they were alone, he took the world’s most dramatic step toward Roman. Foot shakingly dramatic. “Roman, are you--” His eyes flicked back to the direction the guy left in. What was that? “Sure?” It wouldn’t be like Roman to say something he didn’t precisely mean. He wasn’t exactly fickle. But it wasn’t like Roman to say how he felt either. He’d always said he was too shy for things like that, and Benji had no doubt that that was true. So he needed to hear it again. To make sure he heard right and understood, because honestly, he couldn’t afford another heartbreak right now, not when he was finally over the last one, and clinging to an unrequited crush was something Benji was actually good at. Way better at than dating.
Hyunho’s voice was so small, sometimes Oliver was afraid that if he wasn’t waiting and listening for him to speak, he’d miss it all together. Especially these little confessions, which burned in his ears no matter how quiet they were and replayed themselves like a song in his head on loop for days after--he could never tell if missing them was what he wanted. Whether missing the few pieces he got, or hearing and being unable to help was worse. In the end, he always had the same answer; that hearing was better.
Especially since sometimes, very rarely, he did know what to say. The words tumbled out of him, in that exact way that he knew sometimes caused him trouble. “You have me,” he promised. His hand reached out before he could tell himself it was a poor choice, just resting on his. Oliver, even at his most impulsive and stupid, knew that even holding Hyunho’s hands--with Noah still in the picture--was pushing it, but he needed the contact, just for a second. “I’m always here.” After he said it, though, he knew he needed to stop. He left his hand where it was, but he turned away, knowing he’d probably miss whatever Hyunho said next. He waited, long enough for the other man to answer, and then swallowed. “But, uh, y’know, I meant if you needed food or water or any of those.”
