+ @silverfvng
"i said softly, you fuck. i'm so fucking serious—" this is beck's third attempt at gardening, though he can't quite call it his attempt. see— attempt number one led to his tiny succulent shriveling up like a has-been diva, flopped over the side of its little pot like every single hope and dream beck's ever had. he figured, okay. maybe watering it everyday wasn't the move. that led to attempt number two, where beck did the opposite. and thus, the second succulent left in beck's care dried up right before his eyes.
but he's going to get it right this time, goddammit. he's going to get it right because this time, beck's burdened someone else to garden for him! so if beck has an anti-plant curse placed on him, it's immediately null and void because it's fetch doing a shit job of transplanting this succulent! it's not beck's fault! and maybe beck will find something he's good at that he never would've discovered while he was alive!
"—if you kill gerald, honest to god i'm gonna milk piss from a cat and pour it on your pillow."