Feel the Bonds: Chapter 1
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8641 Co-Written by: syl-writes-stuff and simonpeggme Summary: Being a paladin of Voltron is honestly the coolest thing that ever could've happened to Lance, but the people who should know probably never will. What could his family possibly think of him being gone for so long? But he can't think about them. He can't. He has to defend the universe and apologize to Keith for being a dick to him. Again. And, holy crow, is Keith checking him out? Please?
[AO3]
Chapter 1
His family wouldn't know if he lived or died. His family didn't even know where he was. Nearly a week after nearly flying straight into an exploding sun and having the castle literally try to kill him - kill him twice! - it was all Lance could really think about. Like a nasty loop of a really annoying song he couldn't turn off. Mom, dad, mom, siblings, mom- god, he really missed his mom. It was kind of pathetic. But his mom was great. Warm hugs, attention despite a bajillion other kids in the house, always willing to listen when he had to call her and ramble about how hard the garrison really was and why he kind of wanted to drop out, but he would never because the family needed him, and-
Lance pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, trying not to groan. His family needed him to become a pilot and help bring in a paycheck and school at the academy was really expensive and he was not succeeding in staving off his groan. Even if he went back to Earth, he'd never get back into school. There was video feed of him helping break Shiro out of quarantine and then the stupid chase sequence where they'd gone off a cliff. What if there was video of them going off the cliff? Maybe his mom thought he was dead already. Oh, no. What if they'd told her that he was a fugitive? Was he a fugitive?! If he went back to Earth would they, like, arrest him? Would they arrest all of them?
He could see the news bulletin in his head - Defenders of the universe, wanted fugitives. Hilarious, yeah. Hahaha - he wasn't actually laughing. His stomach actually kinda hurt. His family already generally saw him as the screw-up - mom notwithstanding. The number one thing he'd been trying to avoid was proving them right. What had he done instead? He'd become a fugitive back home and a super secret legendary defender in deep space.
So his family wouldn't know if he lived or died. His family didn't even know where he was. They might not even want him to come back.
Oh. Great. Now he had a whole new verse to the song. Add some pain into the sorrow - no problem. He could handle it. Ace pilot Lance could handle anything. Anything at all.
“What are you doing in here?”
He jolted, falling right off the cushion only to look up and see Pidge. He - she - they? Was it they? His mind was too scrambled to worry about gender pronouns, and Pidge never seemed to care what they called him - her - them. His head hurt. “Hi, Pidge!" He winced, his voice a little too loud even to his own ears. “I mean. Y'know. Hey, Pidge.”
“Hi, Lance.” She adjusted her glasses. “So... what are you doing down here?”
Suffering. Thinking about begging Blue to just take him home. More suffering. “Thinking. About stuff.”
“That sounds painful.”
He almost laughed, but his smile was forced enough as it was. Pidge didn't know the half of it, and was the last person Lance could really whine about wanting to go home to. She was staying in space until her family was found, no matter what. Did her mom know that she'd snuck into the garrison?
Oh, geez, what was his hang-ups with moms right now?
He sighed, climbing back onto the cushions in what basically served as the main living room. There was more than one in the vast Castle of Lions, but this was the cool one. It was closest to the kitchen and their stuff. At least what little stuff they had.
His family would've loved-
“So what'd you want, Pidge?”
“Well, I'm still waiting for you to tell me why you're in here.”
“I'm thinking. About home,” he sighed when she only continued to gaze at him. “Family and- and stuff.”
“Oh. So not your fight with Keith?”
“If you weren't so distracted all the time, maybe we'd get hit less!”
Lance cringed. Thinking about family had nearly downed them for good during their latest tussle with a Galra warship, and Keith hadn't exactly taken his lame excuse well. To be fair, he probably wouldn't have taken his excuse well either. Lens flare! Who got distracted by lens flare? Sure, he had a nice disposition towards ADHD, but still. It was an awful, panicked sort of excuse and even Shiro had given him a disbelieving Dad Look. It hadn't helped his family thoughts at all, and the way Keith threw a punch reminded him of his brother Hector wide but still somehow sharp - and he hadn't even ducked. No one had been more surprised when the blow had landed than the one throwing it.
“What is your problem?!”
“I don't have a problem. I'm perfect. Right as rain. You remember rain, right? Or does being an orphan make it easy for you to just abandon everything?”
Lance covered his eyes and groaned again. “Okay, so now I'm also thinking of the fight. Thanks, Pidge. I'd moved beyond that shouting match, but y'know, I kinda missed it. Having his angry voice in my head is just great.”
“You threw your helmet at him.”
“Yeah. Thanks. I remember.”
She rocked back on her heels. “You know there aren't supposed to be secrets between us.”
“Yeah, okay, Katie. Whatever.” There was a long moment of silence wherein Lance finally dropped his hands and sat bolt upright to gape at her. “Oh my god. I'm sorry, Pidge. Wow! Just- wow.” He fell back again, scrubbing his hands over his face. “Oh, man.”
Pidge folded her arms across her chest, ultimately deciding not to take offense. “You know, I don't actually think I've ever heard you apologize for anything.”
“Yeah, well, that was just... wrong. Okay? I'm not that insensitive.”
“Maybe.”
He tsked. “Come on, Pidge.”
“Look, calling Keith an orphan like that and saying he doesn't care about Earth or anyone else was a really wrong thing to do too. You know Keith cares about us.”
Lance didn't quite have a comeback to that, choosing to roll over and press his face into the cushions instead. He knew that. He knew it had been wrong. He knew throwing his helmet at him was wrong. It was all just wrong. But he just wanted to call his freaking mom. Why was that so impossible?
“Maybe,” Pidge was saying, “you should take this new apologetic spirit and go see Keith.”
He groaned.
“He took your helmet.”
He groaned again.
“Lance, don't be a baby. Go get your helmet. Allura made her I'm-worried-royalty face and Shiro promised you guys would sort this out. If he has to get involved, neither of you are going to like it.”
This time when he groaned, it was followed by a roll off the cushions. “Okay, okay. Fine. He'd probably lock us in one of the crazy cryo-tube things anyway.”
She scoffed. “Somehow I don’t think you'd mind that.”
“What's that supposed to mean?”
Pidge’s brows lifted. “I'm younger than you, not dumber.”
Lance frowned, brow furrowing as he went passed her to go find Keith. Probably pouting in his room like a big baby. He had the lips for it. Not that- not that Lance had looked at his lips. Much. Ever.
...Much.
But Lance was totally straight. He was at least, like, forty percent sure. Maybe it had been one hundred percent sure - okay ninety... maybe eighty. There had been that one guy he'd made out with on a dancefloor once and the girl who had ended up being a guy, and they'd already been kissing, so why waste the moment? The point was he'd been at least seventy percent sure that he was straight before all this Voltron stuff, but things changed. And it had nothing to do with Keith’s nice lips or his dumb, probably very grippable mullet. Or his legs in black jeans that were just a hair too tight.
Maybe he was thirty percent sure of being totally straight.
Annoyed with himself, and maybe a little glad for the annoyance after the throat-clogging despair he'd been bogged down with lately, he rapped on Keith’s door.
No answer.
He knocked again, frowning. “Keith! Pidge said you've got my helmet!” He leaned against the door, huffing when there wasn’t an answer. “Keith, come on!”
The door wooshed open to reveal a scowling Keith, Lance’s helmet in hand. “Here.” He thrust it at Lance, letting go and not waiting around to see if he was going to catch it. His voice filtered through the now closed door, “Now go away.”
Lance scowled, just barely keeping a hold of the helmet. Pidge seriously wanted him to apologize to this guy? Seriously?! He paced away, but only made it five steps before coming back. “Sorry I... About the orphan... stuff. I didn't mean it. Okay?”
Keith opened the door again with a heavy sigh, leaning against the jamb. “You make it really hard to forgive you, Lance. What you said was very hurtful; I thought we were getting past all of that…”
“What? With that moment you think we had?” The tease fell flat, and so did his grin. Lance huffed, shuffling his feet. “Look, I know it was low. I said sorry, okay? I even meant it. I'm even sorry for... for being crap on the mission thing today. Okay? Are we good?”
“I-sure, Lance.” He really didn't feel like fighting anymore. “We're good.”
Lance waited for more, half-sure it was a trap of some sort. “Uh. Okay. Do, um...” It was uncomfortable how easy this was. Not really a win. “Come on. Let's go find Hunk’s stash of food not-goo.”
Keith pushed himself off the wall, following Lance down the hallway a couple steps behind with his hands shoved into his pockets. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't trying to stare at Lance's ass the entire time, his eyes practically glued to it. But damn did Lance have a nice ass.
He looked back, oblivious to the placement of Keith's gaze. As much bravado as he had, he wasn't exactly used to positive attention. “Come on, Keith. Don’t drag behind. Seriously.”
“I'll walk however I want, thank you,” he countered, but sped up to match Lance's pace anyway. He glanced down between them at Lance's hand, swinging slightly while they walked. He got a strong urge to reach out and grab it; instead, he shoved his own further into his pockets. “What's your problem anyway?” he blurted, wincing at his own tone. He sighed again, something he seemed to do in excess anytime he was around the other paladin.
Lance stopped, nearly tripping over his own feet. “Nothing. What? Nothing’s wrong. Pssh. I'm awesome.” But his hands went into the pockets of his jacket. Sort of. Only one made it because of the helmet, which just made the whole move an awkward mess. “Yeah. Totally awesome. That's me.”
Keith paused a few steps in front. He turned around and raised an eyebrow at Lance's pose, a small smile flitting across his lips for a split second. “Uh-huh. I didn't mean for it to come out that way. I just want you to be honest with me.” He stared at Lance's feet a few moments, mumbled, “Have I made you angry somehow?”
It was an easy out. From day one, he'd looked at Keith and had seen a rival. All the talent behind his big mouth was nothing short of enviable and still was. So he could absolutely fall back on the excuse, but even he couldn’t deny that they'd come a long way since that first day at the garrison. He dragged his hand through his hair, keeping his helmet tucked under his arm. “No. You- you’re fine. You didn’t do anything.”
“Then why have you been acting like such a jerk?” Crossing his arms over his chest, he glared at the wall next to Lance. “Just when I'm beginning to not dislike you, you go and ruin it with your stupid attitude.”
Lance averted his gaze, the toe of his shoe thumping against the wall. “It doesn’t actually matter. It's nothing that can change because we're doing the Voltron thing.”
“Well… d’you wanna talk about it?”
“I don’t know.” Lance walked into the kitchen, setting the helmet down. He knew exactly where Hunk hid the choice food, so it wasn’t much of a search. But he wasn't very hungry, choosing instead to lean against the counter. “Maybe?”
“Look, I don’t wanna make you uncomfortable, so if you don’t want to talk about it that’s fine.” Keith hopped up onto the counter and stared down at Lance. “But we’re teammates, possibly even friends, so, I mean, I’ll listen.”
His shoulders hunched, arms crossing over his chest. “It's just... So, like, I have seven siblings.”
“And you miss them, right?”
“No! Well, I mean, yes. Obviously. But it's not just like- I almost died! Like... seven days ago, I almost get frozen solid and then I almost got sucked into space. And that's in the place that's supposed to be safe! Like I know I almost died when Sendak set off an exploding Rover decoy, but that was totally different. I don’t really remember that. Just shoving Coran out of the way and then wa-blam!” He threw his hands up when he made the sound effect, his normal dramatic self. “But the sucked into space thing, I remember. And that was the single most terrifying thing ever because I didn’t have my lion. I didn't have the bayard. I didn't even have the suit. I was just, like, me!”
He spun towards Keith, gesturing to himself. “Just me! And that's not cool, man! Because who's gonna tell my brothers and sisters - who's gonna tell my mom that I died? If we don’t beat the Galra, if we don’t win, I'm... They're never gonna know, Keith. They're never gonna know that I'm out here trying to help save the whole universe. They're only gonna know that I helped bust Shiro out of lockdown, flew off some cliff, and disappeared. No one in my family knows, and...” And he was still, still, just the family screw-up. “Yeah, I miss them. But I really, seriously hate that they're only going to remember the worst parts of me.”
Keith jumped off the counter, grabbed Lance’s hands. “Lance, I can’t even begin to understand what you must be going through, but we’re all gonna get through this, okay? We’re going to defeat Zarkon and the Galra empire and then we’re going home. I believe in you; now it’s time for you to believe in yourself.”
Lance blinked, quickly looking down at their hands. The fingerless gloves were a weird texture, half hidden, half intimate. Just normal bare hands would've felt less bizarre. But he didn’t pull them away, embarrassed because he wanted a stupid hug and the hand-holding was as close as they were going to get. “I just... We're awesome. The team. Voltron’s awesome. This whole thing’s crazy amazing. It's just... I want my family to know I'm more than a fugitive and class clown. Like I'm not just a pilot because the actual talent walked out.”
“They’ll know. When we get back to Earth, everyone will know.” Realizing they were still holding hands, Keith blushed and coughed, but didn’t let go. “And don’t sell yourself short. You might not be as good a pilot as me or Shiro, but you’re still pretty great.”
“Yeah, well...” Lance huffed out a laugh, almost biting his tongue when he looked up to see Keith’s blush. Oh. He hadn't known Keith could even do that. “Uh... Thanks. I mean, yeah, I guess I actually mean thanks. For listening. It's... nobody has a family like mine, so it's weird being isolated.”
“You’re welcome.” He finally dropped Lance’s hands, immediately missing their warmth. “And… anytime you wanna feel less isolated, you can come find me.”
Lance shoved his hands into his pockets, balling them into fists to preserve any lingering warmth from his touch. “I... yeah. I'll- I'll do that. So food, right? I'm starving!”
----
His thirty percent had tanked. He was somewhere around ten now. Maybe five. Lance stepped out of the shower later that night and glanced almost guiltily at his own hand while praying to Space God that the walls were soundproof and that no one had heard him wail Keith’s name. No one had come busting in to see what the matter was, so he was pretty sure Space God was looking out.
He was also pretty sure that being five percent sure of his own straightness was a very high estimate.
Crap.
He was super duper gay. For Keith. Sure, maybe he'd thought about him while jerking off plenty of times - which was its own problem - but he'd never said his name! “Oh my god, he's nice to you for two genuine seconds and you lose your mind,” he said to the mirror. He didn’t know how it wasn’t steamed up, but didn’t care enough to find out. He was usually grateful as it meant he could get to his mountain of facial products without wiping down the mirror himself. Now it just gave him a chance to berate himself. “You are so, so Keith-gay! How are we supposed to go all Voltron in Blue if you're busy being Keith-gay? What is wrong with you?” he demanded.
If only Keith hadn't taken his hands. Or blushed. Or been nice and supportive.
And, hell, he'd been hot when he'd snapped the door open and shoved the helmet at him. All mad and narrow-eyed and - “No! We stayed in the shower way too long thinking about this!” He pointed at his towel-covered groin, expression surprisingly serious. “No.”
It took nearly twenty minutes for him to clean his face, feeling the need to pamper himself a little extra. Not for Keith. Except, yeah, it was totally for Keith. Not that he would care. Dumb Keith with his mullet and perfect legs and-
“Nyope!” Lance grabbed his pajamas off the counter and dressed quickly, exiting the bathroom to enter his room. His siblings would flip if they knew he had his own bathroom. Twelve people sharing three had always been its own kind of hell, but at least there was a system. And it had definitely prepared him for life at the garrison where a whole section of guys shared one community-style bathroom.
Okay, no, the garrison was way worse. At least at home he could have his products out. The guys at the academy would've stolen his stuff just out of spite.
Keith probably wouldn't have taken his stuff. “Oh, no. No. We are not thinking about him all night. Go back to being sad. We were good at that.” He slid beneath the sheets, picking up his sleep mask and his music. Only one bud went into his ear, a concession for Voltron. Once they'd saved the universe, he was going to sleep for twelve hours with his music on full blast and Keith right by his side, and there he went again. Thinking about Keith.
Lance covered his eyes with the mask, eyes closing. Darkness. Soothing, beautiful. It was great with his music playing and normally put him right to sleep, but would Keith be too hot against his side? He seemed like the kind of guy who'd radiate heat while he slept. He radiated heat normally, so why not? His hands would be hot, palms sweaty under the gloves. What would they feel like around his-?
“No. No, no, no.”
He had to get it together. Keith couldn’t keep invading his mind and heating his skin without even physically being there! Lance couldn't even roll over, skin care still settling on his face and the paladin entirely too vain to go a night without it, especially since he'd done a little extra.
Jerk. That incredibly hot jerk. He'd probably done it on purpose, being so nice and attractive just to make him squirm. And, oh, could Lance imagine making Keith squirm in turn. His mouth watered for how much he wanted to explore Keith’s everything.
The sheets tented, Lance groaning for about the millionth time that day. Five percent hit zero as he gave in and reached for the hand lotion no one knew about. He was totally unsure about being straight, genuinely considering the label of bisexual, and completely certain that he was Keith-gay.
And he was not getting any sleep that night.
----
Stupid. Stupid. He was so stupid, oh my god. Lance was stupid, too, but mostly he was stupid.
“Why?” he asked his ceiling, hoping it held the answers to the questions he sought.
It didn't.
Rolling over in bed, Keith held his hands in front of his face, still wearing the stupid gloves because he now refused to take them off. They smelled like the hand lotion Keith knew Lance used that he thought nobody else knew about. He wondered what Lance would look like with a pair…
Except Lance’s fingers were too long and would look weird and gangly. And while most of the rest of him looked that way, those were two words that definitely did not describe his hands. Lance’s hands were perfect, fingers soft and slender. Keith wanted to hold them, like he had earlier, but for a longer time. And he wanted to lace their fingers together, wanted to bring them up to his mouth so he could kiss each digit.
“God dammit!” He turned over and punched his pillow. But why did he have to have a capital-T Thing for Lance? He wasn’t upset that he was into a guy because, well, he’d known he was gay for a while now, since just before the garrison. He’d always had a type, though, and that type was never the Lance-type. Tall, gangly, and stupid. And annoying. So he couldn’t figure out why now all of a sudden he found the guy attractive. Lance talked too much and was generally annoying, especially with his shitty flirting techniques aimed at literally everything but him.
They totally worked on Keith, though, and that was part of the main problem right there.
He flipped onto his back again, his sheets getting tangled around his legs and across his torso; he took a moment to believe that Lance was there with him, and that it was his legs he was tangled up in with an arm across his chest.
If only.
He continued to stare at the ceiling, thoughts of Lance zooming around in his brain, and not trying to stop them this time.
He never got to sleep.
----
Lance took a rare morning shower, relieved that his late night wasn't punctuated with any crazy drills. He felt exhausted, but he refused to look that way. He wanted to look fresh and, well, he kind of wanted to look good to Keith. He'd decided at some point amid his soul searching to accept this newfound sexuality that honestly wasn’t very newfound at all. He just had no idea what Keith would find attractive. He had no idea if Keith had a thing for guys. What the heck did guys look for in other guys?
Apparently, he looked for a mullet and tight pants and a snarky attitude.
Sighing, Lance silently lamented the lack of a good hair dryer before striding out of his room. He did like the weird tubes that washed and dried their clothes every night. It was quick, silent, and almost made having to wear the exact same outfit basically every day worth it. Almost. How was he supposed to draw attention to himself if he couldn't look different? Then again, his ass looked pretty good in these jeans. There was a reason why he'd been ready to drag Hunk and Pidge out to a club in this outfit. And the weeks of training they'd been going through had definitely helped him fill out in that area.
Yeah, he knew he looked good. He'd been the baby doll to his older sisters long enough to pick up their moves. They'd taught him how to properly moisturize and how to flaunt his assets. In this case his very firm ass. And his smile wasn't bad either, whatever passed for toothpaste - he was afraid to ask Coran what was in it - keeping his teeth nice and white. He grinned, leaving his jacket draped over his chair and his t-shirt tucked in just enough to leave his butt open to perusal. He was a bit worried about coming off as a bottom, a little uncertain about his feelings on that. It would probably be enough to just get Keith's hands on him for the time being, yeah. And his eyes, right. Definitely wanted those eyes to capture that interest. Hands could come next. One step at a time.
Why couldn't flirting with Keith be as easy as flirting with girls?
He made his way towards the preferred dining room, a little surprised that he wasn't the last one who walked in. He normally was, but didn't even see Pidge wandering around. Maybe she was in the kitchen with Hunk? But Coran wasn't around either. Just Allura, Shiro... and Keith. His palms started to sweat. Oh, boy.
“Lance.”
His gaze shifted back to Shiro, leaned against the wall rather than seated with the other two, smile coming easy. “Morning, Shiro! Fearless leader, bud.” He meandered over, unsure if Keith's gaze was actually on him or if the burn he felt from them was his own wishful thinking. “What's up?”
Allura set her cup of what might've been some kind of tea down. “You certainly seem in higher spirits this morning.”
He faltered a bit, most of his higher spirits bravado and hope. But he dropped down in the seat beside Keith, trying not to fidget, and actually considered his mood. He didn't feel... despair. He glanced at Keith, waiting until he caught his eye before smiling. He'd been right, really. They'd make it back to Earth. His family wouldn't know if he died, but he wasn't going to. He was a paladin of Voltron, and his family would know that one day.
And for the time being, he did have a ragtag sort of family. “You know what, yeah. I am feeling better.”
Keith slid his gaze back down to his breakfast goo, hiding a small smile from the paladin at his side. He couldn’t let Lance see what effect he was having on him, last night notwithstanding. “That’s, uh,” he cleared his throat when his words came out rough, having gotten zero sleep and spending half of it shouting into his pillow. “That’s great.”
“That's wonderful. Did the two of you smooth your differences?” Allura wondered, amusement clear.
At least clear to people more observant than Lance. “Yeah, well, I said sorry. He said okay, whatever. All’s well.” Lance elbowed him, and hopped up. “Where's Hunk? I'm starving, and I know he'll make something other than food goo.”
“Probably still sleeping.” Shiro took a seat beside Allura while Lance wandered. “You’re up early.”
He hadn’t slept, but swished his hips with a little bit of purpose. He should be dead on his feet, honestly, with only a few scattered cat naps behind him, but he was bursting with energy. Either his, like, fifth wind or just the idea of actively trying to entice Keith just got him all excited. “I couldn't sleep. Busy thoughts.”
“You have actual thoughts?” Shiro smiled fondly. “Shocking.”
“Careful, bud, or you're getting a faceful of food goo.” He mimed flinging a spoon, complete with over-the-top sound effect.
A chuckle escaped Keith’s throat, a testament to how exhausted he truly was. His eyes widened and locked with Lance’s. He coughed. “Uh-”
“Did Keith just laugh?” Pidge’s voice came from behind them, but Keith couldn’t tear his eyes away from Lance.
“No!”
“Yeah, no, yeah, I- I'm pretty sure he did. Lance actually made him laugh,” Hunk agreed, right beside her. He yawned. “I must still be dreaming.”
Someone was, and Lance was pretty sure it was him. Keith had laughed before. They'd all heard it. But it was normally with Hunk or quietly with Shiro or, maybe twice, Pidge. If he was laughing around Lance, it was normally at his expense. He smiled, big and bright, and maybe his tiredness was manifesting as giddiness. “It's gonna be a good day, guys. I can feel it.”
Keith was blinded by Lance’s brighter-than-the-sun grin, his happiness infectious as he couldn’t keep his own lips from forming one. He really wanted to run his tongue along those perfect teeth, see if they were as smooth as they looked… He could feel his face starting to heat up and squashed that thought down like a bug.
“Now he’s blushing,” Pidge muttered. “Unbelievable!”
She dropped down into the chair next to Keith, and he immediately jumped up as if burned by her close proximity. “I have to go.” He glanced at Lance once more before hurrying out of the room.
His smile dimmed like a blown out bulb, but he redirected his attention to Hunk. “So what's for breakfast?”
“Not food goo. It's too early.” Yawning, Hunk shuffled out and Lance was quick to follow. If anyone could keep his spirits up, it was the easy-going yellow paladin. “So what happened? And where’s your jacket?”
“I'm experimenting.” He wasn't quite ready to drop an I'm-Keith-gay bomb on his best bud, so left it at that. “Did I say anything mean to you yesterday?”
“Uh. I don’t think so. Just Keith.”
And Pidge, but he didn't want to drop that either. No one was mean to Pidge. “Okay.”
“What happened, anyway? Everything was fine. We were kicking Galra butt, and all of a sudden Voltron starts to split apart and Shiro’s yelling at you to wake up and reconnect with your lion.” Hunk scoured the cabinets, searching for spices they'd been picking up in their travels. Eventually, they were going to find a potato. He was sure of it. “Where was your head?”
“Earth.” Lance shrugged, hopping onto the counter as Keith had the night before. And it was easy to tell Hunk since he'd already spilled it all out once before. “I've been thinking about what our families are thinking. Y’know?”
Hunk nodded, getting two bowls down since he knew Lance was just as eager for something not goo to eat. “Yeah. But ever since we met the Balmerans-”
“You mean your girlfriend?”
“Not just Shay, who is not my girlfriend.” Some of the sternness in his glare was lost in the blush. “But the whole planet. After freeing them, it's easier. We'll make it back home one day. And, yeah, it'll be tough seeing my family after everything that went down right before we left, but I'll be able to tell them that I helped people. We helped an entire planet, and we're going to keep going until we win.”
Lance nodded. “Keith, uh... yeah. He talked to me last night. About stuff. So it's okay. It wasn’t the longest talk ever or the most... Feelings.” He spread his hands in an arc as if framing the word. “But it was nice. I mean, it was as to the point as Keith always is, but kinda nice.”
Hunk snorted. “So what you're saying is he only laughed today because he totally pities you and just knows you needed someone to laugh at you being ridiculous.”
“What? Pssh. C’mon. I'm hilarious.” Oh, man, he hoped it hadn't been a pity laugh. Oh, man.
Hunk smirked, as clued into their mutual attraction as Pidge was. As the whole castle was, actually. The fact that they finally seemed to be moving towards something was a good thing. “You think you are,” he teased.
He knew so. Lance huffed, taking the bowl when it was offered. “Everyone else laughs. Keith’s just slow.” Except he wasn't. He was actually seriously smart and funny when he wanted to be, and he was always - always - jealous when he saw him and Hunk laughing at something together. It was stupid. He and Hunk had been friends since childhood, but Keith was just... Keith.
“Are you thinking again? Is that what your face looks like when you have a serious thought?”
Lance laughed, pushing Keith out of his head even as he pushed Hunk with his shoe. “Shut up.”
“It looks a lot like your normal face, but more pinched. You'll mess up your moisture balance.” He grinned when Lance kicked him again, taking a bite of the alien meal that everyone was better off not knowing the ingredients of. “So, uh, are you gonna go after Keith? Not that- not that you have to. It's just a thought.”
His face pinched just a little. “Maybe.”
----
Pidge, Shiro, and Allura were all left in the dining room, gazes shifting back and forth between each of the doors. “Well, that just happened.”
“Pidge…”
She ducked her head, averting her eyes. She hated being on the receiving end of Shiro’s Dad Voice. “Sorry,” she mumbled. She pushed back from the table and stood up after having just sat down. “I’ll go check on Keith.”
“Thank you, Pidge.”
“Yeah, yeah.” She waved her hand back at Shiro as she walked, turning left down the hallway in the hopes of finding Keith.
Turned out she didn’t have to look very far. After rounding a few corners, she saw Keith sitting cross-legged and leaning up against the wall across from one of the castle’s larger windows. There were so few of them, most hidden behind panels that could only be moved if you knew exactly what to touch. He was gazing out into the vastness of space and seemed lost in thought; Pidge almost didn’t want to disturb him.
“Hey.” She lowered herself next to him gingerly.
“I’m sorry,” he said automatically. “For, uh, bolting out like that. It’s not you, Pidge.”
“I know.” Their shoulders bumped together. “I forgive you. But I’m not the one you should be apologizing to.” She continued when Keith shot her a confused look. “Lance looked pretty upset after you left.”
He turned away and looked back out the window, wishing he were anywhere but on this ship right now. “Yeah? Why should I care?” Except he did care. He knew how much it hurt Lance, saw the look on the other’s face as he walked away. He wanted so badly to turn back around, turn back to Lance and wrap him in the biggest hug. But-
“It’s literally just the two of us here, Keith. You can drop the act.” Pidge crossed her arms over her chest, glaring at the side of his face.
Trying to dislodge the giant lump in his throat, he swallowed. “I don’t know what you're talking about.”
“Oh, for the love of- Stop pretending you don’t like Lance and just do something about it!” Keith whipped his head around to glare at her, backing down when he saw the fire in her eyes. “You two are the most insufferable, oblivious people I’ve ever met. Even Hunk can see that you guys are totally gay for each other.”
“That- I don’t… I’m not gay for Lance!” That was a lie.
“You’re lying.”
He breathed out heavily through his nose. How was it that she could see right through him - hell, right through everybody? “I don’t know what to do, Pidge. I keep thinking back to that fight we had. He was so angry - we both were. We were so mean to each other…” And there was a reason he never talked about his feelings with anyone ever, thank you, Pidge.
“Then last night he was all mopey and depressed, and we talked, and I might have held his hands. I want to hold his hands again! And maybe do other stuff. I was up all night thinking about it, Pidge.”
“No wonder you look like crap…”
“Hey!”
“I mean, it’s true. Did you even shower, dude?”
“Of course I showered!” He hadn’t; he’d been too bombarded with emotions, wanting instead to just crawl into bed and smother himself in his sheets.
“Uh-huh.” She pushed her glasses up her nose. “Listen, if you want my advice - which, why wouldn’t you - you just need to go talk to him again. Lay it all on the line, let the chips fall where they may. You can’t get results by being silent.”
“That’s... actually good advice, Pidge. What the hell?”
“Duh.” She pushed herself up, offering Keith a hand to help him off the floor. “Now go get your boy. He was showing off for you earlier, and I know he was disappointed that you didn’t notice.”
“...Huh?”
“God, you’re dumb…”
----
Keith decided to march right up and... let Lance have some space. Yeah, he wanted to find him and finally maybe get some things off his chest, but he didn’t think his company would be the most welcomed at the moment.
So he made his way to the training deck to help hone his close combat skills. He shrugged his jacket off into the corner of the room, grabbed his bayard from his belt, and walked to the center of the room.
“Begin training sequence level one,” he called out. A robot phased into being, immediately lunging for him; Keith rolled out of the way, activating his sword, and proceeded with his training.
Lance didn't know if Keith heard him come in, thumbs hooked in the pockets of his jeans as he strolled across the room to get closer. Sure, he'd told Hunk that maybe he'd go after him, but it was usually better to let Keith sulk first.
If that's what he was doing, Lance still on the perplexed side of things. They'd been okay, hadn't they? They'd smiled at each other. Keith had actually laughed at one of his attempts to be funny, and then he'd just... vanished. Like maybe being nice to him in front of other people was somehow out of the question.
The thought made his chest feel tight. They were buddies, weren’t they? They at least made a good team. How did that translate into what had happened the past two days? Maybe they were just too moody.
Well, maybe Keith was. Lance wasn’t moody. He was calm and cool at all times. Yeah.
But he still watched him, hands buried in his pockets, something akin to a pout pulling at his lips because, whoa, nobody should look that good in a fight. All long lines and elegance, quick feints and clean swipes - it was like watching a really sexy dance. And Lance just wanted to pull him in close and leave a hickey right above the pulse point of his neck.
He was so, pitifully Keith-gay.
Keith dodged the training bot’s attempt at a right hook, ducking under its arm and slicing it in the side with his sword. Sweat dripped down his neck and back, his shirt soaked through with moisture and stuck to his skin. He could feel a pair of eyes following his every move, and with a glance behind him, confirmed it was Lance watching him.
The bot rushed towards him, mistaking his distraction as a break in concentration; instead, Keith wanted to impress the other paladin, and grabbed the bot by the arm. In one fluid motion, he used the momentum to flip himself over it, dragging it along behind him. It arced in the air before landing on the floor with a loud crash.
“End training sequence,” Keith panted, pushing his hair out of his face. The bot dematerialized and he finally turned around.
Well, Lance officially had enough material to keep him busy through a dozen showers. He felt almost as hot as Keith looked, so had to swallow before his easy grin could appear. “Figured I'd find you in here. You’re basically always practicing.”
Keith shrugged. “Practice does make perfect.” He grabbed his jacket and slung it over his shoulder. Feeling way more confident after his conversation with Pidge earlier and his stellar training session, he made his way over to Lance. Keith let his gaze wander over Lance’s body the closer he got until he was right in front of him, near enough to smell the shampoo he used, and getting another whiff of that damn hand lotion. “So… you found me.”
“Yeah. Uh...” Okay. Okay, no way had Keith just been checking him out. He was clearly imagining things. “So... okay. Did I do something wrong this morning or what? I thought things were okay, but then Pidge and Hunk showed up and you bolted.”
“I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night,” he confessed, and wow, Lance’s skin was even clearer up close. “I couldn’t stop thinking about our fight, and, uh, other things.” He cleared his throat awkwardly. “If it matters, I am sorry for running out. It wasn’t anything you did.”
“Okay.” Lance prodded the floor with the toe of his shoe, unused to feeling uncomfortable. But he was so close with his shirt sticking to his skin. He smelled like sweat, and it should've been the nastiest thing, but it wasn't. Keith was nothing but hot. “So... the fight kept you up? I'm- I thought we settled that. Are you still upset? Do you- I guess I don't exactly come off as the best listener, but come on. I'm the best at everything.” He grinned, hoping he looked more confident than he felt. “So if you wanted to maybe talk, I could listen.”
“No, no I’m not still upset, and I think that’s what kept me awake?” Ugh, why was this so hard. “I’m not making any sense, am I?” He turned his head away, huffed out an annoyed breath, all of the confidence from two minutes ago leaving his body with the action. “I was mad for not being angry at you like I kept telling myself I should be. I couldn’t be upset with you because, I, uh… like you?”
“Like...” Lance's brain fizzled. He could hear its demise. “Like... like, uh... like a teammate?” His voice cracked a little on the word. “Or... uh... a different kind?”
Keith returned his gaze to Lance’s face, smirking. “I didn’t realize you would need it spelled out for you.” He took a chance, and grabbed Lance’s hand again like he’d been wanting to do since the night before. Longer, if he was being honest. “I like you, Lance. As in like-like. As in I want to do this-” he shook their joined hands in Lance’s face “-with you. And, uh. More.”
Lance stared at him, gaze darting to their hands and back. Keith liked him. Keith liked him! He threw his free hand up. “Woo! I'd spin or something, but yeah.” He laced their fingers. “This works. You're stupidly hot. Did you know that you're stupidly hot?”
“Did you know that you’re stupidly annoying?” he fired back, but there was no malice in his tone. He couldn’t stop a smile from working its way onto his face while the nerve endings in his fingers were going into overdrive as he squeezed Lance’s hand tighter. “I can’t believe I actually like you.”
“Yeah, well, you obviously just have good taste.” Lance bounced up to his toes a few times, beaming. “I’m a catch.”
“We’re each entitled to our own opinion.” But, damn, Lance’s happiness was infectious. In an even bolder move, he used the grip on the other’s hand to pull him forward, tossing his jacket aside to wrap his other arm around Lance’s waist in an awkward, sweaty hug.
Lance stilled for a stunned moment. He’d wanted a hug for... he didn’t know how long, but he’d been wanting a hug. He pressed his face into Keith’s mullet and banded his arms around him to hold tight. “You’re in serious need of a shower,” he teased, though didn’t bother stepping away. Not yet.
Keith barked out a laugh. “Says the guy refusing to let go of me or take his face out of my hair.” He, too, refused to let go, revelling in the warmth of Lance’s embrace.
“Pssh. Whatever. At least I definitely know where the shower is in my room.” He wiggled, grin returning. “So what’s all that ‘and more’ you were talking about that goes with holding hands?”
He pressed his lips to the skin on Lance’s neck, inhaling his scent deeply through his nose. “I really wanna kiss you.”
Lance felt his pulse skip. He hadn’t been as prepared for his forwardness as he would’ve thought, but he’d only kissed two guys before. Girls, yeah, plenty, but Keith-gay was also new-gay. It didn’t help that his mouth felt good on his neck. “I’m down with kissing. Yeah.”
“Okay, but maybe later,” he said to Lance’s collarbone. “I need to go take a shower first.”
Lance pursed his lips. “That’s cold, man. Harsh and bone-chilling cold. You can’t just say you really want to kiss me and then take it back.”
“I can do what I please.” He finally pulled away from Lance, but kept his hands settled on his hips. “But I suppose I can also oblige you a little.” He leaned forward quickly, lips meeting the corner of Lance’s mouth before moving back a second later.
Lance’s lips curved, the smile small and almost shy until he opened his mouth again. “Okay, but what if I want to kiss you?” He shifted closer, slotting their bodies together, and it was definitely different from being pressed to a girl. A good different, Keith’s body firm and right against his. He was a little shorter, but Lance had been blessed with long legs. He kind of definitely wanted to wrap them around Keith’s waist and, oh, man, was he actually somehow a bottom? No. No way. “You should let me kiss you, and then shower. I’m gonna need one too, at this point.”
Keith walked them over to the side of the room, situated one of his knees between Lance’s to pin him in place with his back against the wall. “What’s stopping you?”
Holy shit. Lance’s heart was definitely skipping now, the pulse ragged and wild. He really was stupidly hot, and it wasn’t fair. How was he supposed to actually handle some sort of relationship with a guy who was literally a spirit guardian of fire? “That... That’s a pretty good question.” He mostly wanted to just lean down and capture his lips, but he also had a dozen other kiss fantasies working through his head in rapid ticks.
He settled on being careful. At least for the first one. Cool off some of the heat he didn’t at all know how to deal with. He skimmed his hands up Keith’s arms, lips quirked, until he could cup Keith’s cheeks. The flicker of surprise was a boost to his already swollen ego, and he was definitely taking advantage of it later, but for the moment, all he did was lean in and let his lips ghost over Keith’s. “I guess nothing,” he hummed and sank into a firmer kiss that steamed his attempts to cool off. His lips felt good.
Keith smirked into the kiss, loving the way Lance’s mouth felt against his. The angle wasn’t the best, but he could tell the other paladin was trying to hold himself back, felt it in the way Lance held his face firm between the palms of his perfect hands. He wanted those hands all over his body, wrapped around his-
He reared back suddenly as if doused with icy water. He had to get himself under control here. But he took one look at Lance’s confused face, still clutched between the other’s narrow fingers, and decided screw it. Keith threw the idea of a shower to the back of his mind in lieu of sliding his hands down to grip Lance’s ass and covering his mouth with his own again, letting his eyelids droop shut.
The sound Lance made was embarrassingly close to a squeak, and they were never going to speak of it ever. But he hadn’t expected Keith’s hands to wander and, hell, now his wanted to. One slid into Keith’s hair, tangling in the sweat-dampened strands, and the other slid to his hip as if he could possibly drag him closer. He was only vaguely aware of their surroundings, the wall hard and unyielding against his back and Keith so firm and right against his front. His hands were just - his hands! Lance made another noise, something trapped between another squeak and a moan, lips breaking from Keith’s to drop to his neck instead. “Okay. Okay.” He nipped at his neck, tasting the salt of dried sweat. How dare his sweat be a sexy attribute? “Cripes, Keith.”
Keith felt like he was flying, the same feeling he had when he piloted Red around the galaxy, weightless and free. He could hardly believe this was actually happening, but Lance’s teeth at his neck and his own hands on Lance’s perfect ass helped ground him again, reminded him that this wasn't a dream, and he landed back on the surface of reality with a sharp inhale.
He stared at Lance’s lips, slightly swollen and red after the attention they’d received. Keith wanted to make them look like that more often, wanted to always be the reason for Lance’s hitched breaths and flushed cheeks; he wanted to drag his tongue all over the other paladin’s skin, wanted to feel those long legs around his waist. He wanted everything, and he wanted it with Lance.
“God,” he breathed, right into the other paladin’s ear. “Lance, oh my god…”
Lance hummed, sucking wetly on a patch of skin to leave the start of a hickey. “Yeah. This is- wow. Like... wow. There are a million things I want to do to you.” And a million more he wanted done to himself, but he wanted his hands on Keith more than he wanted to breathe.
Keith groaned, holding Lance impossibly closer. “And I want to do all of them with you.” He finally lifted his head, leaning in to initiate another kiss, but wasn’t able to make contact as the alarm blared. He separated himself from Lance as if burned, glancing around wildly. “What the hell…?”
“Aw, man. Not now.”
Allura’s voice belted over the comms. “Paladins! Get to your lions!”
Lance huffed, but straightened from the wall since there was no way he was going to ignore the order. Even though getting his hands on the red paladin seemed worth letting the universe down. “You know what, I'm gonna look on the bright side.” He smirked. “Wanna know what the bright side is?”
He smiled at Lance, amused at his giddiness. “I feel like you’re going to say something infinitely stupid, but what?”
“Oh, Keith of little faith.” Lance leaned in to playfully kiss his nose, and strode off, hips swishing happily despite the alarms and Allura’s call for them to hurry. “The bright side is that the whole time we're dealing with whatever this is, I get to do it smelling like you. And then after, I think I'll do you a favor since I'm such a nice guy and wash your back.”
Keith blanched, stopping dead in his tracks following Lance. He watched on as Lance practically pranced out of the room, putting on his own private show, and he finally, finally understood what Pidge’s insult from earlier was supposed to mean.
“I really am dumb,” he muttered to himself, and then spurred himself back into action and raced after the other paladin.
