#sims crackfic

[nikkeisimmer]

Narrator: But we do have to give them a campfire so that they can cook whatever they catch. And they are going to have to go hunting, or designate someone as the main hunter.

Meg: I’ll go tend the garden.

Phil: And I’ll go pet the fish…

Keeter: Good for you, Phil.

Narrator: so...Meg would harvest the apple tree and the lettuce plant and hopefully the deer wouldn’t go after the lettuce plant while they were asleep because if they lose that lettuce plant, life is really going to suck for them.

The rest of them would go and fish for their dinner. It’s now 12:08 PM in Hidden Springs and Meg will make her way to the bookstore to get 7 copies of the handiness skill book as well as the same number of the inventing skill book. Mainly because they all have to get those skills up before they can do anything regarding putting up any form of shelter.

Meg: Y’know, it would be a lot easier for me to just take a taxi.

Narrator: Look at it this way, you’re saving money.

Meg: With §17,500,000...we have to save MONEY?

Narrator: And you see, when everyone is forced to walk or run, you get to meet people that way. See how many people are getting out and getting some exercise?

Meg: You’re a sadist.

Narrator: You say that like it’s a bad thing. Now Meg ran back and had to fish for her dinner that night so she didn’t waste any time. Keeter now has two anchovy and two sea sludges and a red herring. He’s also got a opportunity to sell three fish for money. If he sells the anchovy and the red herring, he’s gonna really have fun because last I knew, sea sludges aren’t edible. Even if they were, they eat from garbage left on the bottom of the sea bed.

Keeter: Ugh...really?

Narrator: Yeah, really. You mean you weren’t paying attention in Gr. 10 Biology class?

Keeter: No, not really...you see there were a lot of hot babes in high-school.

Meg (fishing): OMG...this is absolutely boring.

Narrator: It’s 3:29 in the afternoon, I would have thought you’d caught something by now.

Meg (sarcastically): ...other than an extremely fatal case of boredom?

Harm (trying to be helpful): I’ll share my fish with you, Meg. I’ve got plenty.

Meg: You don’t have to, Harm.

Mac (sarcastically): Yeah, I’m sure that’s not the ONLY thing you want to share with her.

Narrator (pulls up a chair and eats popcorn): Oooh, this is going to get interesting.

[nikkeisimmer]

Narrator: Here’s a 64x63 lot out in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of Hidden Springs.

It’s nice sunny day and Admiral Tosh Nakamura is standing in the middle of the lot wearing a flightsuit and chaps (a g-suit).

Hopefully it makes sense to somebody, because it sure as hell doesn’t to me. Having finished up their term of service in the United States Navy, he’s decided that he’s going to settle down here and earn some money in order to live comfortably for the rest of his existence. Considering the fact that he’s done his forty years of service, he pretty much can’t get called up again.

Evidently he won’t be alone either.

Vice-Admiral Meg Austin, former Judge Advocate General is now retired after thirty years of naval service and she’s decided that she’s going to take some time and spend it with friends while she figures out what she’s going to do with the rest of her life. Does nobody figure this stuff out while they’re in the service?

Accompanying her are Captain Kimber Benton with twenty years in (who is still subject to call-up), Lieutenant Colonel Sarah “Mac” Mackenzie, Captain Harmon Rabb Jr. Lieutenant Commander Jack Keeter and Commander Phil Burrows. Yes, it’s an odd-numbered situation, but well, Phil’s nuts. That pretty much explains everything he does.

It should be fine as long as he’s not haranguing the commode. But one thing I still want to know is: Who the hell decided to let him in the cockpit of an F-14 Tomcat?

The Watcher has given them pretty much nothing other than five apple trees and a lettuce plant. Yeah, that’s going to really help them out. And they’d better nurse that lettuce plant because if it gets eaten by deer, they’re not getting another one.

But thank goodness for the Navy and their pension. They will receive the equivalent of §2.5M each for their separation and they will receive §18,500 a month for the rest of their lives, which means §55,500 a season. That should be enough to get them started. But the only thing is that they can’t build their house without getting good at being handy around the house. Frankly gaining the handyman and inventing skills is the only way they can start building and the inventing work table. That means that for every wall section they create they have to have at least a Level 2 skill level and unfortunately it would have to be one section a day, no matter how much money they have. If they have mastered the handyman and inventing skills, then they will be able to complete a room in a week, which means that they will have to all work together at getting this done. Each of them will have to learn how to become handy and invent things. Nope, it’s not going to be easy. But where will they sleep? How will they eat? I guess they’re going to have to pick a spot on the ground...and if it rains, it’s going to be miserable. C’est la vie.

ADM Nakamura: My back is going to hate me in the mornings.

Watcher: Looks like he finally got out of that flight gear. That's half your problem, Admiral, 50 pounds of flight gear on your torso's bound to make your back ache.

CAPT Benton: What exactly did I get myself into?

LCOL Mackenzie: I don’t know how I’m going to work this around, but I know Harm’s to blame for this.

CAPT Rabb: I’m so dead.

CDR Burrows: Oooh...I can go fishing, and biking and…

LCDR Keeter: Oh, man, I stepped in it...now. This is not going to be comfortable even with Meg around.

VADM Austin: Texans are supposed to be tough, but camping out in a temperate rainforest isn’t one of them. The temp is going to get down to 42 at night. This is going to be miserable.

Narrator: Should we give them sleeping bags?

NAAAAAAAAAAAH! 😝