#sinderespeaks

[sindere-chan]

Where can I go/who can I talk to if I'm living in an emotionally abusive relationship with no car?

Sorry it took so long to post this! I’ve been busy lately. But I’ve totally been there. I actually still have no car, and it was impossible to get away back when I was younger.

My best advice is get a bank account that you can keep protected from your abusive partner, and save up for a little bit to get a bicycle or a bus pass. Any form of transportation is good. Also, build up your strength to go on long walks, because in a pinch, that can come in handy.For who you can talk to, it really depends on your area. In Canada, we have a lot of community centers with walk-in therapy sessions. This helped a lot. Of course, there are also helplines, which is why it’s also good to get your own phone.http://codedredalert.tumblr.com/post/109005732295/helpline-masterlistIf you’re looking to get out, you should take a month or two to save up secretly, because having a bit of money to fall back on is very helpful. The best thing is to stay with family and friends, but there may also be shelters in your area. These resources would be best to google on your own.When I made the decision to escape from my abusive relationship, I started a savings account and started raising money. My aim was 3-4 months of saving up, and I had to find somewhere to stay. In a strange turn of events, he broke up with me first and kicked me out, but I had already saved enough to be able to get a bus pass and a cell-phone. I had old friends from highschool who offered me a cheaper place to stay and I got a job after living there for a month. I think I lived there for about 6 months before finding a place on my own. And I’ve been living happily alone and free from abuse for just over a year.

[sinderedoodles]

Changed my avatar lol Probably also temporary. I need to draw something better tbh.

[sinderedoodles]

IT’S BEEN ONE YEAR

Only one year since I created this blog. 

Somehow, I managed to go from this:

to this:

in just one year.  I’m very proud of how far I’ve come since I first started this blog, especially because about 8 years in my life went by where I was ashamed at my art, ashamed at how slow I was progressing. 

So, what changed?

Determination, that’s what changed. I stopped caring about how many followers I had or who saw my pieces. I started drawing for myself, for my friends, to enjoy myself. And I drew every day. Now that I have a job, I still make sure to put time aside for drawing every week.

You can’t change yourself unless you throw yourself into things.

You can’t become great if you don’t work hard.

There’s no such thing as raw talent. It’s about hard work and perseverance.

That’s what I learned this year.

[sinderedoodles]

SO THE REF OF NAX GETS FLAGGED AS SENSITIVE CONTENT.

BUT HIM KISSING HIS BF NAKED DID NOT 

I’M

[sinderedoodles]

cottonballofsins replied to your photo “Hey look guys, it’s me as a pony. >:3cc Thank you @tk-senpai for...”

MAY I DRAW YOUR PONYSONA WITH MY PONYSONA?

Of course. ^-^ Everyone is free to draw any of my sonas or OCs as long as they’re not claiming them as their own!

[sinderedoodles]

I’ve been forgetting to upload art lately, so I’ll be putting a bunch in the queue. Sorry guys.

[sinderedoodles]

I think it's the lips and nose on your realism stuff TBH? You do really well but, the lips and nose you need to work on

I don’t really need to be told that, I definitely know where I need work. I did the lips really well that one time though. Really nice shine.But again, it’s not even realism, it’s semi-realism. So things aren’t going to be exact. 

[sinderedoodles]

Do you do art professionally though? Like they weren't insulting you at all. Constructive criticism isn't twisted to fit situations- cheap doesn't mean free. You'll find that cheaper priced things sell a lot faster, and speaking as someone who has /professionally/ done this for 6 years, you're going to make MORE than when you had higher prices. You aren't sacrificing anything.

I charge money for my art, I am a professional artist.I opened a bakery and even though it was a new business, it was still a business. I was still a professional baker. 

I conduct my business the way I see fit based on the research I have done, the things I’ve witnessed first hand from plenty of professional artists. You’re hiding behind anonymity. That ‘/professionally/’ in bold, those six years? Do you honestly think that means anything to me when you don’t even have the tact to come out from being anonymous? Those are all just words, which may or may not be true. And the way you phrased things, you’re definitely pretending that you’re better than me in some way.

Whether you really have been professional for six years or not, it doesn’t mean that you know best, and it certainly doesn’t make you better than me. It just means you joined the industry sooner than I have. Six years ago? I was just finishing high school. I wasn’t even drawing regularly back then.

I’m currently sleeping on a mattress on the floor, in the cold basement full of bugs every night with my ex husband, the man who made me feel like I was less than important, like I didn’t mean anything for almost the entire nine years we were together. I’m scared and anxious all the time, I have my close family but I flinch at the touch of almost everybody right now. The only person who I don’t flinch at, that I desire hugging and cuddling, they live in the United States. So far away and I can’t stand it. I want to be there with them. Where I can feel sane, where I don’t have to occupy every second of my time or risk hurting myself or staring blankly at the wall for hours. I can’t do that without money. I need money for rent and then money to get to them. That’s why I’m charging as much as I am. If I charged way less and took more commissions, I wouldn’t be able to keep up and I’d still be stuck making the same amount, or more likely even less. I’m doing voice acting commissions on top of that as well. There aren’t enough hours in the day.I’m sacrificing plenty. I’m sacrificing my sanity a little bit more every single day I spend in this place. I did my research before I set my prices. If I wanted help with pricing I would have asked for it. Made a poll perhaps. But I’ve run a business and I don’t need help. 

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