Part 42of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I’m sorry for taking so long to update!)
(moodboard by @star-sky-earth):
The morning came faster than Bellamy ever wanted it too but for once it wasn’t him who woke up first-it was Clarke. Apparently having him in her was provoking some hot dreams because he woke to her eyes still barely opened and her pulling his head down by the neck to kiss him. He wasn’t sure if she was dreaming or if she knew what she was doing but he smiled and felt her move up and down a little, fucking herself on him.
He groaned and gripped her by the waist, grunting in her mouth as he kissed her back.
“Princess?” he mumbled “Are you awake or are you having a hot dream?”
“Both.” she mumbles when she pulls back a little and opens her eyes. The softness he finds there overwhelms him and he can’t prevent himself from pushing in her too, desperate to find some friction as he was pretty sure he could feel his dick twitching even when inside her.
“Can’t get enough of me, can you now?” he whispers when he kisses her cheeks and then meets her lips for a wet and hot kiss while her hands roam on his ribs under his shirt.
He hissed when he felt her hand run over the worst part of his back, the most fucked up and hurt one and she suddenly stopped, opened her eyes wide awake and took his head in her hands.
“How bad is it?” it was bad, that much he could tell, he could barely feel his leg right now and he knew that in just a moment as he started moving around, he’d feel even more numb and then he’d get that horrible thingly feeling after which the sharp bouts of pain that felt like him being shock lashed would come crashing in and he’d have to squeeze his eyes shut and try to ground himself.
It was the same thing every morning-the pain was so overwhleming that some times he had to drag himself to the bathroom, lock himself up and slide to the floor praying for it to just be over until it eventually let go.
But most mornings, he couldn’t make it out of bed so he just lay there, away from Clarke so she doesn’t feel it, gripped his thigh and squeezed his eyes shut in a quiet prayer for it to just pass.
“I think you’ll have to be on top this morning.” he jokes and she shakes her head at that but when he thirsts a little into her and she kisses him all hot and wanting, she can’t help herself and when he is the one to roll them over yet again, this time with him under her, she really wants to stop and ask him if he’s sure but he doesn’t give her the time to do so.
With his eyes so big and bright, so full of love and want, she can’t help herself, she leans closer, kisses him, lets her hands roam over his chest despite the shirt he had on and then starts moving, slowly, lazily.
Clarke knew they didn’t have that much time-the clock on the wall by the door told her it’s half past five-he had to get up at around six to grab them rations, then get himself ready for work, wake Gus and help him eat, prepare him for a day without him there.
They couldn’t allow themselves the pleasure of taking all their clothes off and marveling or paying attention to each and every part of their bodies-that would be reserved for the night but they could still enjoy each other’s company, bring each other over the edge before the beginning of a hard day.
He’s in pain, that much she can tell because even when he sits up and sucks her nipple through her shirt, he groans and not all of it is from the pleasure. He’s tense and his eyebrows are furrowed but she hopes that she can take his mind off of it at least a little as she fucks him and tugs the back of his curls, exposing his neck for her to suck on.
Just as last night, she’s the first to come and when she’s over the edge, he’s quick to slip away from her and she groans unhappily, too used to having him in her after spending the night together. When he’s off, he reaches to stroke himself a few times and she swats his hand away when she sees it.
“No, let me-” she insists breathlessly, her cunt still convulsing and wetting the sheets underneath them, yet again. She had to do laundry today as much as she hated it. He chuckles a little and drops his dick, let’s her pump him a few times, squeeze his balls and soon enough he comes as well, stifling his groans and leaning down to kiss her to try and quiet himself.
“Fuck, this is awesome, princess.” he whispers, glancing at the clock to check how much time he had before he needed to be up. He determines they could spare ten more minutes fooling around, kissing each other soo he pulls her over his chest since he was in too much pain to be the one in charge and they kiss each other lazily as their hands roam up and down under the sheets.
Bellamy’s about to move his head down and pay some attention to her other boob which he ignored during their fun times when they hear Gus’ voice loud and clear.
“Dada?” he asks “Clarke? What are youw doing?” Clarke jumps from her place so hard she hits her head in the top bunk and grunts loudly while Bellamy scrambles up with the blankets and pulls them over himself even though he’s technically dressed.
When they look at the kid they find him standing up in his PJs, rubbing at his eyes that were a little drowsy and sleepy but definitely wide awake.
“Gus-” Bellamy sits up on his elbows and tries to stifle a groan as Clarke rolls over by her side of the bed and breathes heavily, hiding behind his body for the time being. “What are you doing up, son, it’s still early?”
“I wasn’t sweepy anymow, dada.” he says and tilts his head at them “What awe you doing?”
“Nothing, Clarke and I were just uh-” he clears his throat and looks at her for support but she’s trying very hard not to laugh and he rolls his eyes at her childish behavior “We were just cuddling, cause Clarke’s cold.”
“Are you awkay?” Gus prods, taking a step forward and limping to the bed. Bellamy curses, shoves his hands under the blankets and pulls his boxers before picking Gus up in his lap.
“We’re good.” Bellamy assures. “Are you okay? Did we wake you?” Gus shakes his head and nestles on Bellamy’s chest, staring up at him and peaking at Clarke behind his dad’s back curiously. She tries to compose herself and comes closer to the boys, rolling on her side and reaching for Gus’ little hand, kissing his fingers as she moved up too.
“Dada, were you kissing doctor Clarke?” Gus asks next and Bellamy swallows hard, cursing quietly under his nose “I saw youw kissing hew.”
“I uh-...” he takes a deep breath and gives Clarke a look, suggesting he’ll definitely need her help here so she sits up in bed and he feels her arm hanging over his shoulder while her other hand stroked Gus’ head. The kid seemed a little confused but not spooked-he was looking between him and her surprised and Bellamy could see all the little gears running in his head trying to make sense of what he had just saw.
This was the worst possible way this could’ve happened, Bellamy thinks. They haven’t discussed much about this but they thought that when they told him, they’d sit him down and explain it slowly, carefully, so that he had the time to sink it in.
What was happening right now was just proof that Bellamy’s plans always went to hell. He glances at Clarke once more and she gives him a little nod as she sits by his side and holds Gus’ frostbitten foot in her hand, gently rubbing over it in a soothing manner.
“I was kissing her yes.” he admits and Gus stares at him for a moment, not saying anything. He looks between them and holds his hands together like he did when he was trying to make sense of things.
Bellamy decides to give him a moment and waits for him to speak up first, simply keeping his hand on his back, arm wrapped tightly around him pushing him to his side.
“Grandma Rory says that when people love each othew they kiss.” he rubs his chin before looking up at them again “Do you love each othew?”
Bellamy smiles and meets Clarke’s eyes as he leans closer and rubs his forehead against her for a brief moment.
“Yes, we do.” Bellamy says finally when they pull away “How do you think you feel about that?” Gus looks at them for a moment and Bellamy’s heart trumps loudly in his chest-he’s trying to prepare himself for a full four year old meltdown but then Gus surprisingly smiles brightly, claps his hands and yelps a little.
“I was right!” he exclaims and it’s Clarke and Bellamy’s turn to exchange confused glances as the kid shuffles in Bellamy’s lap and keeps beaming at them.
“You were...you were right, son?” Bellamy asks tilting his head at his baby boy and Gus keeps clapping his hands joyfully like he hasn’t been since the night when the electricity stopped and he got the frost bite.
“Gus been wondering if dada and doctor Clarke like each other more than friends.” he explains and furrows his eyebrows for a moment “Fwiends don’t kiss wait?”
“No, they don’t.” Bellamy assures running his hand down his hair and leaning over to kiss his forehead “But back up a little-you’ve been thinking about this?” Gus nods a little too enthusiastically again and Clarke doesn’t miss the way his legs jerk up and down as if he’s about to hop off his dad’s lap and do a happy dance any second now.
“Yeaw, Gus had been asking gwandma Rory questions.”
“What kind of questions?” Bellamy keeps prodding “Why didn’t she tell me anything?”
“Bellamy-” Clake reaches over to squeeze his arm and gives him a look that suggests none of this is important and he was overthinking it yet agian. Bellamy sighs, clearly very much confused-they’ve both been very scared as to how Gus may take the news of them being together, they had been preparing for a total meltdown this entire time and to have him...happy and somewhat expecting this came more of a surprise to them than Gus seeing them kissing.
“Gus, do you want to ask us any questions about this?” she chimes in next, cupping the boy’s cheek and running her thumb under his beautiful green and brown eye, the same as his mother's obviously “Maybe we can give you more answers than grandma Rory, especially after what you just saw?”
Gus hmms and rests his back against his dad’s arm as he thinks over Clarke’s suggestion.
“Have you been together long?” he asks finally and they both shake their heads simultaniously before Bellamy speaks up.
“Not that long, son.”
“But you didn’t tell Gus?” he sounds a little hurt, offended even, as if up until now he was their biggest supporter and he ended up being the last one to know. Frankly, Clarke realizes he had the right to be angry about it.
“We were trying to figure out the right time to do so. We didn’t want to overwhelm you, baby boy.” Bellamy continues and looks at Clarke for support.
“That and we were....a little scared. More like I was.” she admits something she hasn’t let out loud not even to Bellamy who’s head snaps a little surprised at that but she keeps her eyes trained on Gus who gives her a confused look.
“Why wewe you scawed?”
“Well...I didn’t want you to feel like I am trying to replace your mom, which I am not or that I want your dad to focus on me more than you.” she blurts out and she feels Bellamy’s hand sneak on her back, rubbing it softly in support “I didn’t want you to...hate me.”
“I could never hate you, doctor Clarke!” Gus exclaims in loud protest “I love you!” he blurts out next and throws himself in her arms, wrapping his hands in a dead lock around her neck.
Clarke’s eyes fill with tears and when she looks up at Bellamy, she finds that he wasn’t much better off. His hands shook and he was dabbing at his eyes with his shirt, blushing in the most embarrassing of ways for being the first one to crack.
He was so soft and emotional that she couldn’t help but reach over, put her hand on the back of his neck and push him to her chest, next to Gus.
“I love you too, Gus.” she says kissing his head and then moving onto Bellamy’s “I love both of my boys so much.”
Gus peaks up when they rub their noses against each other and smirks a little devilishly.
“Kiss!” he exclaims.
“Gus, baby boy-” Bellamy tries but the kid is relentless.
“Kiss!” he demands and Clarke chuckles a little before meeting Bellamy’s eyes.
“Your son asked you something.”
“I think he asked us something, princess.” he whispers back “And he’s our son now.” it’s her turn to get teary eyed and she chokes on her emotions which he quickly takes in and shares with her when he presses his lips against hers. It’s not a deep tongue passionate lusty kiss, no, it’s nothing like that-it’s just soft and vulnerable, just as they were right now. A kiss that brought them together in the next most important moment of their lives-sharing this with Gus.
“You happy now, son?” Bellamy asks when they pull apart and Gus stretches over his little feet on Clarke’s lap while he keeps his back pressed against his dad’s side. Gus hmms like an old man, rubs his chin and shrugs a little.
“It’s okay, dada.”
“Okay?” Bellamy asks in disbelief before looking up at Clarke “Did you hear him? He said it was okay?”
“I think that he’s bound for a punishment what do you say?” she suggests giving him a wink, making his lips stretch in a smile as he nods.
“I agree.” he looks briefly down at Gus who’s confused about their conversation “You ready?” he asks her and Clarke nods before both of them lean down and start peppering Gus’ body with kisses all over-his forehead, his cheeks, his hands, even his legs and toes. Bellamy sneaks in his fingers too, tickling him a little and soon enough the boy is squirming in joy underneath them.
They move him to the bed and roll around in it together over the blanekts of course, since the sheets were once again a mess. Gus laughs and climbs on them, most of all on his dad, then tries to tickle him and Clarke too and she can see that Bellamy’s heart eases a little to see his son like this. After all the pain and suffering of the past week, Gus going back even if a little to himself was a loud off Bellamy’s weary shoulders.
“Okay, dad will go grab us breakfast.” he finally says when he sits up and Clarke notices how his hand shoots for his knee right away. He stops briefly, closes his eyes and sucks in his breath.
Gus must feel something’s wrong because he sneaks from under his right arm and looks up at his dad like a puppy.
“Dada, are you okay?”
“I’m good.” he lies but Clarke covers her hand over his on his knee and yet he doesn’t move, not right away. She leans over so that Gus doesn’t overhear them.
“Is it too bad?” she asks and he just shakes his head stubbornly, refusing to give her a real answer “I’ll take care of it when you come back, alright?” she adds “Gus will help me too.”
“Yey!” he claps his hands again happily but then leans into his dada’s side and perches his chin on his chest, looking upwards. “Dada, is everything gon be olrait?” Bellamy runs his hand down his head once more, seemingly his favorite sign of showing his son’s his love apart from holding him and kissing his forehead.
“Everything will be fine, my boy.” Bellamy promises and kisses him and Clarke’s sides once more before getting up and dressing himself. He hides in the bathroom on purpose, Clarke knows this, he didn’t want Gus to see him struggling to even put his clothes on or notice his scars-he hid his pain away or at least tried to not just from her but from the boy as well and while she understood why he did it, she was pretty sure that Gus could handle it just as well as she was.
On the way to the door she reminds him to grab his cane as his crutch got ruined last night and he smiles but takes the old metal rod he used as one even if he didn’t feel like it. She had to figure out a way to get him a new crutch as it provided more support for not just his leg but his whole side too.
When it’s just her and Gus, she helps him to the bathroom. He still can’t or more like is too scared to walk on his own but she insists she holds his hand and he tries to do it himself instead of her carrying him. She pushes him a little which is what he seems to need but she still helps him up the chair on the bathroom sink when she notices him wince from the pain and she hands him his toothbrush and helps him wipe his face away with the towel.
She lets him pee on his own and trusts him to change into his clothes while she fixes the sheets and prepares some formula fo him. When he exits the bathroom, she picks him up in her arms and he folds in on herself like he often did with Bellamy-trusting her to give him the warmth he needed.
Gus was still sleepy that time of day, it was before his usual kindergarden awakening and it’s what Bellamy called, the pre-proper wake so he doesn’t fight her as much on eating as she expects but he wakes up more when she sits him down on the chair and holds the bottle to his lips, instead of falling asleep.
He sucks on his milk eagerly, much better than he had yesterday and she smiles somewhat relieved at that, knowing it’d make Bellamy breathe a little easy too. Gus snuggles into her chest when he’s done with the bottle and Clarke lets him suck on her index finger like he did with his dad often, knowing it sooths him even more but his eyes are wide awake and staring at her.
“Do you feel alright, sweet face?” she asks leaning over to rub her nose against his and make him squirm “Is something on your mind?”
Gus shrugs a little but lets her finger go and rests his cheek against her chest.
“Dada loves you now, right?”
“He does.”
“But does he still love mama?” Clarke’s heart clenches at that and she has to swallow hard and take Gus’ hand in hers, squeezing them tightly as she responds.
“Gus, I can assure you that he loves your mom very much and that will never go away.” Gus ponders on that for a bit, eyebrows furrowed, clearly not entirely convinced by her words so she tugs his arm a little and tries to bring his attention to her “The thing about your dad is that...his heart is very big.” she smiles at Gus and he look up at her eyes big and concetrated on her words “It is the biggest one I’ve ever seen in my life and I’ve done open heart surgeries.”
“Really?” Gus asks in awe making her smile even brighter and touch the tip of his nose.
“Absolutely.”
“But you haven’t seen my dada’s heart...have you?” Gus asks confused and she shakes her head.
“I don’t need to. I know that it holds all the love that it can for your mama, for you, for grandma...for me and for all his friends and somehow it only seems to grow.”
“Hm” Gus says quietly patting his cheek with his finger like a grown man until he comes up with his next question and his eyes get a shade of fear in their irises “Do you think it can burst?”
“No.” Clarke assures “Of course not.”
“But how do you know?”
“Because he doesn’t keep it all in there-” she pats Gus’ chest “His love for those cloesest to him is in every action, every little thing that he does.” Gus keeps looking at her curiously as she takes his hand and runs her finger over his little knuckles “He does so many things out of love, it just radiates from him.”
“Like the sun warming the ground in ouw lesson the othew day?”
“Exactly.” Clarke praises and runs her hand down his curls again “Smart boy.” Gus gets blushy at the praise as he usually did and buried his face in Clarke’s chest in order to hide from her but she knows that what he’s really seeking is her warmth and comfort.
“Clarke?” he asks after a while of just being there with her in the soft and sweet embrace she could provide for him.
“Yes, baby boy?”
“Are you my mama now?” he asks peaking from under his curls up at her looking smaller than he actually was and Clarke is a little bit taken aback at first so she sucks in a breath before helping him raise up into a more sitting position, desperate to see his face better. Gus squirms in her, plays with his fingers and tugs at his shirt nervously before she speaks up.
“Gus, you already have your mom, you do know that, right?” Gus nods eagerly “Nobody can ever replace her or what she did for you. Your dad and I...we’re not trying to do that, do you understand that?” Gus shrugs a little but nods a little tentatively.
“I know mama is always with me.” Gus mumbles under his nose “And I know you’re not my real mama but...I’m not sure what...what it feels like to have one.” Clarke’s heart clenches at that and she has to bite back her tears and keep herself together and before she can say something Gus keeps on “I have a dada and I know what that’s like but what does a mama do?”
“It’s not that much different, Gus-they love you and care for you more than themselves or the world just like your dad.”
“Weally?” Clarke nods and smiles a little.
“Sometimes people say that the fathers tend to spoil the kids more while moms are more strict but I think your dad...he manages to do both of those things perfectly.”
“I think so too.” Clarke smiles at him as he keeps going “Gwandma Rory says dada spoils me too much sometimes but I know when he says something has to be done, Gus gotta do it laik homework.”
“That’s right. And he’s only being like that because he wants the best for you, you know that, right?” Gus nods and pushes his index finger to munch on again, probably because he was still hungry and Clarke hoped Bellamy will be back with breakfast soon as apparently a bottle of milk was no longer enough for a growing boy like his son.
“Gus, your dad and I ...we’re not trying to fill in that place in your heart that is reserved for your mom, okay?” she explains carefully “We just love each other and I want to help him raise you, spent time with you. You don’t have to call me anything but just Clarke,okay?” Gus nods and she can see he still had many questions going on in his head but for now that would have to be enough. She was sure that later when Bellamy was home after work, he’d find the time to talk to him and ask him if he had any questions too and she was sure he’d be great at it. “Now do you want us to draw some while we wait for dad?” Gus nods eagerly and they take out his notebook and the pencils she bought him all those months ago.
He asks for a giraffe, his new favorite animal, then for a dog with ruffled hair and a parrot with colorful wings. Clarke starts getting worried that Bellamy’s taking that much time and keeps glancing at the clock every few minutes. Gus notices it because he stops coloring and leans his back on her chest reaching his tiny hand for her cheek and cupping it softly.
“Don’t wowry, Clarke, there’s a big line for breakfast in the mowning. Dada just has to wait.” he explains and Clarke kisses his fingers softly, rubbing his back and promising him she’s all good.
Bellamy does get home a lot later than expected, just before he has to go to work.
“I’m sorry, it was crazy this morning but I grabbed you coffee.” he comes in limping, carrying a small tray of two bowls of porrige, some jerky, grape, two apples and two cups of coffee as well as some toest with butter and honey on it. He kisses the top of her head and ruffles Gus’ curls. “I have to change and leave for work.”
She scoffs at that angrily-her plan was to take care of his leg this morning but it seemed like she won’t get the chance to.
“Bellamy-” she tried, gripping his hand and pushing him back to the table but he shakes his head.
“I have to go, princess.” he leans down to capture her lips with his and rub his nose against her for the briefest of seconds “We’ll do it tonight, okay?” she sighs and is about to let him go when she tugs at him again.
“At least get some toast.”
“Let me shower first.” he promises and she makes a mental note to force the toast in his hand later which in fact, she does. He’s at the door limping heavily and coughing his lungs out once again when she gives him the piece of bread and helps him take a few sips of his coffee while he adjusts his hat and kisses Gus’ head goodbye, promising him to be good today, do his homework and listen to Clarke.
She thinks that tonight, she’ll force him to sit down while she massages his leg but as usually their plans all go to hell mostly because she is swamped by work in Factory and Farm that they have to cross again for more than one patient.
By the time they come back home, Bellamy is barely forcing his leg to move, he’s coughing hard and Gus is asleep in his cot while his mom works on mending some clothes by their metal table.
He’s so exhausted, they both are really that they don’t eat-they simply lie in bed together. She still manages to force two spoons of cough syrup before he passes out in bed and as Aurora leaves, eyes filled with worry and sadness, she grabs Clarke’s hand and squeezes it tight.
“This new job...” she says “I’m worried about him.”
“Don’t! I’ll take care of him.” Clarke promises but the truth is that she doesn’t, not really. She knows his leg is stiff, she made him promise that he’ll let her take care of it and still all she can do that night after spending hours saving lives is lie by his side and have him pull her to his chest.
He grunts in pain, she hears him and it’s not a one time-occurance-he hurts a lot because she can tell he squirms under the blankets and suck in his breath. Her eyes water and she reaches to hold his hand in quiet support but it’s not enough, not for what he’s going through anyway.
She tries to stand up, thinks that she can force herself to get back on her feet and wrap his leg in a cold compress to take some of the swelling away but she simply falls asleep.
At some point at night, Gus wakes up and calls out for his dad, she hears Bellamy talk to him and lift him up, settling the kid between the two of them. Gus buries his nose in his dad’s side and his back in Clarkes.
Despite everything, all the pain and misery, all the worries and complications, all the stress they went through in just one day, she thinks that this-being in bed with her favorite people, well...this must’ve been what her dad always wanted for her-happiness.
Part 41 of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I unfortunately can’t tag everyone as some new Tumblr rule forbids me to do so! Sorry!)
(moodboard by @star-sky-earth):
“Who is it?” he asks feeling Gus tremble in his arms and whimper a little. Poor kid was terrified of anyone coming to their door who wasn’t his grandma or any of his friends from school.
“Bellamy, it’s Harper!” he hears his friend’s voice and exhales a little, bowing his head down for a second “Please, open up!”
“It’s okay, kid.” he whispers in Gus’ ear as he rubs his back up and down with his big hand “Just Jordan’s mom, it’s fine.” the boy doesn’t relax until Bellamy pulls the door open and he carefully peaks at it, finding indeed, his friend’s mom there, looking up at Bellamy with the most worried expression on her face.
“Hey, Harper, what’s going on?” their friend looked flustered, hands shaky and eyes wide with fear.
“Is Clarke home?” she looked around but Bellamy was too broad for her to actually glance in the room “Can I come in?”
“Of course, sorry, we were just having dinner.” he apologizes as he moves away and lets her in, Clarke was already up on her feet and rushing to them.
“What’s up? Are you okay?” Clarke asked right away as Harper reaches for her with trembling hands that Clarke takes in and squeezes hard “Is it Jordan? Does his hand hurt?”
“We uh...we need your help.” she says and only now does Bellamy notice that some of her shirt sleeve was painted with a deep dark red. Someone had been bleeding. Bellamy looks at Aurora and motions for her to come and pick Gus up which she does and the kid surprisingly pulls away without much fuss, probably being too scared of even finding Harper at the door, knowing something is wrong without having to hear everything. He still clenches his arms around Bellamy but he whispers in his ears that he has to go with grandma for a moment and he’s thankfully too tired and sleepy after eating to fight him. “Our neighbor, mister Lemkin, he was involved in fixing the engine the other day, he’s one of the few mechanics from Farm.” she explains and Bellamy nods, he thinks he’s heard the name and if he’s right it was a man a little older than with bright red hair and kind eyes.
“Doesn’t he have a girl?”
“Yes, Reese...she’s a little older than Jordan and Gus.” Harper explains frantically.
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He hurt his leg while you guys were trying to fix the engine, more like...his foot really, he got it stuck inbetween some metal while they were putting back the parts together so he got a bad cut and I think some of it is broken too.” she blurts out and Clarke nods seriously “I didn’t know who else to ask for help. The nurses’ station doesn’t work this late and I have no way of getting him there anyway. Reese has been staying with us most of the time but she’s worried and doesn’t know how to help her dad.”
“Okay, I’ll come with you.” Clarke jumps in action right away, making Bellamy’s heart go crazy “I have bandages but we’ll need moonshine.”
“I have two bottles at home as well as cotton swabs and some of the Factory miracle rub if it’ll help with anything.”
“Clarke-” Bellamy tries intervening, this was happening too fast “Wait a second here-” Harper looks at him confused and Clarke sends daggers his way like she did only when she was very angry “You can’t just...you can’t just go there, you have no ID, just papers.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“No, you won’t be. If someone catches you practicing medicine when you’re clearly forbidden from doing so, you’ll be floated!” he raises his voice a little and takes her hand, squeezing it tightly, trying to prove a point.”And if a guard stops you, they can lock you up for not having a clearly defined citizenship and keep you there for weeks just out of spite!”
“Bellamy-”
“It’s dangerous!”
“I know it is, but I won’t leave this man out there to die when I can help him!” she keeps her eyes on him determined “We talked about this once.”
“Yes, we did and I disagreed!”
“And I told you you don’t have the right to when you clearly risk your life for us all without even letting me know what you’re doing!” Clarke raises her voice making his jaw drop a little before he painfully clenches it again and bites back his words so as not to completely blow up in front of their friend and Gus who was talking quietly to his grandma behind their backs, probably worried as hell already.
“Okay, I’m sorry, I don’t want you to argue because of me I just-” Harper adds but Clarke raises her hand.
“No, don’t be. I am coming and Bellamy can’t stop me.” she insists and he huffs frustrated but squeezes her wrist a little harder, trying to make an emphasis.
“Clarke-”
“You won’t win this one, Bellamy.” she cuts him off “I-”
“Will you let me speak?” he cuts her off surprising her with the softness and defeat in his voice “I won’t fight you.” he relents “We’ll go help them but I’m coming with you.” she opens her mouth to disagree but he shakes his head “If you get stopped, I can intervene, I can help, okay?” her shoulders sag.
“Okay.” in truth she didn’t want him to come, not with the way he was barely walking after work or with how he was still coughing-he needed the rest, she knew it but there was no changing his mind just like there was nothing to be done about her decision to go to Farm.
“Grab your things and let’s go.” he nods at her but avoids Harper’s look. He understood why she was doing this, she only ever wanted to help and she must’ve been trying for a while considering she shadowed Clarke and helped her before when she and Jackson were working the clinic in Factory.
While Clarke gets ready, he goes to his mom and Gus and explains the kid what’s happening. He seems to understand that they’re going to help but he’s still a little scared. Bellamy promises they won’t be long and Gus wraps his arms tightly around his dad letting him hold him for a moment before they separate. Aurora tells them to be carefully as she sends them off the door, clearly worried about the whole thing as much as Bellamy was which warmed Clarke’s heart but she knew she had to focus on the task at hand.
Bellamy walked side by side with them at first but then went ahead to scout the hallways for guards and wheather or not they could present a treat. He had his crutch on because Aurora had basically shoved it in his hand before he left and though he had tried to protest about it, Clarke could see he leaned heavily into it as he made his way forward.
Harper held Clarke’s hand as she too remained alert while explaining everything she knew about mister Lemkin and his condition but also added that Monty himself got a bad cut at work today that she’d like Clarke to check if she could and Jordan’s wrist was healing but the frostbite on his fingers and face worried her a little.
“Don’t worry, we’ll figure it out, I promise.” Clarke assured her and Bellamy heard it too because he threw his head back and she could see the anger in his eyes. Their argument was far from over and she was well-aware that once they came back home, Bellamy would raise the issue of her risking her life again.
There was no official border patrol between Factory and Farm as of lately despite guards lingering by the gates and stopping people at random to ask them where they were going and why. Too many people had families in both stations and the line of those crossing was quite big. After the bombings the control had tightened but now things were back to being somewhat a little looser when it came to the migration of people in those three stations. Still, Bellamy knew that if he didn’t swipe his card on his hallway machine before ten am, they’d come looking for him, possibly Clarke too and escort them out of Farm.
People had to be back to their own homes by curfew-if they weren’t they could be locked up and questioned for a few days, probably punished by taking ration points from them but that wasn’t something Bellamy ever wanted to happen, most of all because he was scared for Clarke.
When they approached Farm station’s main entrance that was marked by a sign on the door painted green and some plants, mostly wheat and algae drawn on the side, one of the guards measured them with a look before they even got there and Bellamy tensed.
He waited the girls up and when Clarke was by his side he took her hand and squeezed it hard.
“Play along and don’t talk-” he whispers in her ear “He’ll figure out your Alpha accent and catch us, okay?” Clarke nodded but kept her determined look staring ahead at the guard who was about their age. Harper sensed the tension but instead of panicking, she simply smiled when the guard stood their way.
“IDs please.” his voice was very child-like and he tried to look tough but it seemed as if he hated stopping them-it wasn’t annoyance per se but he didn’t hold the enjoyment or grudge more guards did when they stopped Factory and Farm folks for a random check up.
Bellamy steps before Clarke and passes his ID over.
“Me and my wife are just visitng our friend from Farm here.” he explains and Harper hands over hers too which he waves off when he sees it’s from the station they’re crossing to. Clarke tenses next to him and he isn’t sure if it’s because of their fake marriage or the guard himself and the rifle hanging on his left side.
He scans Bellamy’s ID but his eyes trail on Clarke for a moment.
“And yours, ma’am?” he prods as he returns Bellamy’s card and raises an eyebrow in quiet suspicion.
Bellamy could feel the sweat trailing down his back but he steps closer before her.
“She forgot it at home actually, it was my bad, I kind of rushed her.” he says and the guard opens up his mouth to say something but Bellamy reaches for his inner pocket and pulls out his red Level 11 pass card handing it over to the guard who’s mouth hangs a little upon seeing it. Surely Bellamy with his cane and his old uniform, his ruffled hair and his tired eyes didn’t seem like a top mechanic working on a secret level but the pass was there-with his name and picture and nobody could dispute it or call it fake.
“You can surely make an excuse for a silly man like me who got his wife in trouble, right?” at the sight of the card the guard tenses, he looks back at Bellamy and the girls, doesn’t even scan it and quickly pushes it back to Bellamy’s hand.
“Go ahead.” he gestures for the entrance “But don’t let it happen again, okay?” Bellamy nods with the most fake apologetic look he can muster “And don’t wave that off around anywhere or you may get suspended, mechanic.” he warns.
“I’m sorry, guardsman, I just-” the men waves them off and lets them through.
“Come on, get out of here.” he urges them as if Bellamy was suddenly carrying some diesase he could contract him with just for working at level 11. Bellamy didn’t miss the way he uttered the words “Factory scum” as they passed by and he has to squeeze his eyes shut not to react as he leaned heavily on his cane.
He feels Clarke’s hand sneak between his fingers and squeeze them tightly but she waits until they’re out of the guard’s earshot to give him a look and whisper.
“Thank you.” she knew how much that cost him, she knew that the psychological strain of putting himself between her and the guard was devastating and would probably give him nightmares tonight. He already shook hard, just after a minute-long interraction and it was understandable-he has been beaten by the wolves as they called them so many times he was marked for life.
When they passed away, long enough to be out of earshot, Bellamy stopped and leaned on the wall, closing his eyes briefly and letting Clarke and Harper pass by him. On the outside it’d look like he was just taking a second to relax his leg, since they’ve been walking pretty fast, trying to get to Farm as quickly as possible, but Clarke knew this was something else.
She gave Harper a look and whispered for her to go on, that she’ll need a second before she returned back to Bellamy.
“Hey-” she calls out to him but he doesn’t open his eyes right away, instead he just shakes his head a little and she notices the way his breathing is too fast and shallow, like when he was panicking. His hands shook and the one gripping the crutch was treatening to actually drop it, so she reached out and stedied him.
When he couldn’t stand on his own, she’d be there to help him. She wouldn’t let him fall. Just like he wouldn’t let her get blown up by that bomb-after all, she was the reason he was here in the first place...she was the reason that he would never be the same man again.
“Bellamy, look at me.” she commands as she picks up his chin and forces him to look at her.
He does and for a moment she almost wishes he hadn’t-there was so much pain in his eyes, so much fear and anxiety that she feels like something kicked her in the stomach and made her fall on the ground herself.
She even feels herseslf physically sway and he notices it, because he reaches with his other, free hand for hers and grips it tightly making her heart skip a few beats-that was her Bellamy, he’d always put everyone else before him even when he was barely breathing.
Clarke quickly gets a grip of herself though and shakes all her bad thoughts away, forcing herself to be strong for him. God, they were both so fucked up sometimes it was unreal how that many things happened to them and him most of all in such a short span of just a few months and they were still standing.
“You’re okay.” she tells him but he’s too stunned and scared to say something back-she could see something else was plaguing him, something he hasn’t talked to her about, something he hasn’t shared. Maybe it had to do with that pass he waved at the guard...but no, he had met with other guards before and he had held his ground-something made him scared this time...something shook him harder ”You’re okay, Bellamy, please just look at me-” she lets his hands go and instead cups his face, digging her nails in his skin a little and staring into his eyes with determination now.
“Clarke-”
“Listen to me-you’re okay, nothing happened, we’re fine and we will be fine, alright?” he stares into her with such vulnerability that it just breaks her heart “That guard won’t hurt you. I won’t let him.” Bellamy nods a little “I won’t let him hurt you, do you hear me, Bell?” she repeats “Do you understand?” he nods again still shaking and she smiles a little.
“Take a breath now...deep breaths...just like this, yes, good job! Let’s breathe together for a moment, okay? We can take a minute, we’re not in a rush.” technically that wasn’t true-they were indeed in a rush and when she quickly turned around and found Harper standing at the end of the hallway, looking around impatiently, she knew they had to hurry but Bellamy was her family, he always came first, so she had to help him before she could treat anyone else-otherwise her mind wouldn’t even be where it should be.
“That’s right, you’re doing great.” she assures when his breathing goes back to normal slowly and she pushes his head to her chest, making him lean in a little but desperate to hold him in a tight, short hug, knowing how much he needed it right now.
When he wraps his arm back around her waist-that’s how she knows he’s back to her, that he’s okay now and his lips find her neck, give her a small sweet peck that makes everything in her body on fire-god, the effect he had on her- before whispering “Thank you, princess.”
She pulls away and he tries to brush the tears from his face with the back of his sweater but she cleans them up with her thumbs instead and moves up to kiss his lips quickly, despite knowing that everyone passing by and Harper, most of all, was watching them, but not giving a damn about it.
When she falls back on her heels, her arms wrap around his neck and she looks at him seriously.
“We have a lot to talk about when we go back home.” he nods as he swallows hard and shakes his head, trying to chase away the demons.
“I’m fine.”
“No, you’re not.” she cuts him off “You just had a full blow panic attack in the middle of Farm station’s hallway.” he bows his head down to the ground as if in shame “No, don’t hide, I don’t want you to be ashamed-” she picks his head by the chin again and gives him a softer look “I just want you to talk to me.”
He leans his head down and rubs his nose against hers, then kisses her cheek and pulls back.
“I promise that I’m fine...it was just...I don’t know what it was, but I’m okay.” she can see him going back to his strong and serious bravado that he tries to emphasize by straightening himself up a little and taking a deeper breath “We should go. Those people there need you.” he insists and Clarke opens her mouth to fight him but he shakes his head and squeezes her hand tightly again.
“It’s okay, Clarke.” he insists but she doesn’t believe him for a second.
Yet, they don’t really have a choice-they do need to move and when Clarke turns around he finds Harper has approached them and was about to urge them to keep going again.
“We really need to-” she says and Clarke nods.
“I know...I know, let’s go.” they start moving again and Bellamy follows as swiftly as he can but when they take another turn, he tells them to stop and insists he’s the one to lead before them in case they meet other guards that may cause them problems which Clarke definitely isn’t happy about but can’t really argue with since she had absolutely no documents or IDs and could end up in a cell in case someone decided to blow this out of proportions.
Let’s also not forget the fact that she was about to give illegal medical help.
When they make it to Tor Lemkin’s place, Harper nods in a particular code way before a girl, no older than maybe ten opens up. She had beautiful long brown hair, pale face and big green eyes and was dressed in what looked like her PJs.
“Harper!” she throws herself in her friend “You brought help.”
“Of course I did, kiddo. I promised, didn’t I?” they all look up and find her dad sprayed on the couch, his leg propped up on a pillow with a very haphazard bandage on the wound under his knee. The whole thing was bad, even Bellamy could tell, considering how blue and bruised his skin on top of being way too swollen and red. Tor glances up at him and despite what is probably the fever raging in his body he recognizes him.
“Bellamy Blake?”
“Hey, Tor.” he greets him when they make it in and Harper introduces Clarke to both Reese and Tor.
Bellamy can remember seeing the man working on Level 1 and sometimes 4 where most of the cooling systems were but he hasn’t talked much to him. Most workers in Factory knew each other by face or where they worked and if not their jackets always denoted that too in case someone need to find a mechanic from another level for help. Bellamy could see Tor’s one now, hanging on the chair by the couch-the wrench patch on his left arm as well as the numbers one and four and a small snowflake patch under them which described everything there was to his job. Bellamy’s one still showed he worked on Level 2 as a mechanic since officially Level 11 was closed after the fire and no one was suppsoed to know something was happening there.
Tor and him exchange a few words while Clarke and Harper get to work on his leg-it turned out he really did get hurt the other day during the engine fixing-his leg got stuck between two big metal patches and they had to basically drag him away to keep him from forever being stuck there which is how he got his wound.
When Clarke unwraps it, she finds it’s oozing yellow and upon touching his forehead and finding it burning and taking his temperature, she’s worried about blood poisoning.
“I’ll clean the wound and dig out all the infected flesh but we’ll need to find some antibiotis or at least...something to prevent a sepsis.” she tells him and Harper, surprisingly then, chimes in.
“We’ll figure out a way.” she tells Clarke and Bellamy cocks an eyebrow “I know a guy who can maybe help.”
“Harper, it’s dangerous.” Tor warns her carefully “I don’t want you risking your life or Monty’s for me.”
“I’ll be okay, I promise.” Harper rubs her hand over his foreharm while Reese peeks behind the two girls with worry and curiosity “Clarke and Bellamy will help me.” Bellamy wants to snap and tell her not to involve Clarke in this but he knows better than to start a fight here so instead he grips Reese’s shoulder and brings her attention to him.
“How about you and I go outside and play for a bit, kiddo?” he suggests and glances at Clarke telling her that this was also him keeping watch and making sure nobody finds them but also trying to take the kid away from the room knowing that Tor will probably have a hard time keeping his screams while they cleaned the infection.
Reese looks at her dad for approval and he nods.
“Go on dear, Bellamy’s a great story teller, maybe he can tell you something I haven’t yet, right?” Bellamy nods and leans down a little to Reese.
“Have you heard about the myth of Europa and Zeus?” Reese shakes her head “It’s my son’s favorite, maybe you’d like it too, huh?” Reese glances again at her dad and he waves his hand at her, begging her to come closer. When she does, she hugs him tightly and he whispers something in her ear that Bellamy doesn’t catch apart from the words- “you gotta be brave now, little warrior” before letting go of Reese and allowing her to follow Bellamy. Before they leave, though she runs back to her dad, takes off her pink hair pin and puts it in her dad’s big palm. Tor immideately wraps his fingers around it and lets Reese kiss his forehead as she slowly walks back to Bellamy.
“We’ll be at the end of the hallway by the benches and the swings, okay?” he tells Clarke and Harper as he takes the girl outside.
Reese is very smart and headstrong-she’s a badass kid and asks Bellamy lots of questions while he tells her more than one story. She makes him smile and provokes him but in a good way. Half an hour in and she’s already fighting about Europa and how she should’ve kicked Zeus’ butt which makes Bellamy laugh though he agrees with it too.
But when Bellamy’s done telling his stories and suggests Reese go to the swings for a bit, she shakes her head and just rests her back against the metal bench, leaning a little closer into Bellamy.
“Do you think that....do you think that my dad will die?” she asks after a moment which Bellamy spent staring around for every figure that wore a guard uniform and kept glancing at the clock on the other side of the wall, desperate to make out the numbers and knowing they had less than half an hour to leave the station before they had to go back to Factory.
“No, of course not.” Bellamy opposes and Reese gives him a look of disbelief.
“How do you know?”
“Because Clarke’s the best doctor there is.” he promises but the girl still doesn’t seem convinced “I’m the living proof of that, you know?” now that catches the kid’s interest.
“How come?” she asks curiously and crosses her arms over her chest as if preparing for a fight with Bellamy but willing to give him a shot and hear him out.
“I got hurt in the bombings. That’s why I use a crutch.” Reese looks down on him and then back up, her features softer now “I was very sick after, had fever like your dad, they weren’t sure I’ll make it or even walk but...Clarke did it.”
“Really?” Bellamy nods with a small smile himself, wrapping an arm around Reese and tugging her close.
“She brought me back on my feet and she will do the same thing with your dad, I promise you.” Reese sighs and leans a little into his side, a clear sign that she now trusted him but something was still bothering her. “What is it, kiddo?” he asks softly, stroking her head like he did with Gus.
“I just...there’s nothing I can do to help him.” Reese admits finally “I feel useless.” Bellamy’s heart breaks at that and he has to take a minute to squeeze his eyes shut before he takes a deep breath, tightens his grip around Reese’s arm and forces himself to be strong.
“Of course you’re not useless!” Bellamy opposes her feverntly “Your dad doesn’t need you to do things for him, he just needs to know you’re there and you love him.”
“But he can’t walk...and I...I want to give him food and help him sit up but he won’t let me.” Reese protests softly “He wants to do everything himself.”
“That’s because he doesn’t want to burden you, sweetheart.” Bellamy insists feeling like he was having a conversation with Gus years from now right at this moment.
Was his son feeling the same way?
Sure, he was younger and he didn’t understand the extents of his injuries or what it meant for Bellamy to work with his body wrecked like this but it was enough that he saw him in pain.
And his son, despite his young age, always the selfless one, always wanting to help, to give...
Bellamy couldn’t imagine what it would be like for him when he got Reese’s age. In fact, he didn’t even want to think about it. It was awful enough now when Gus was so little yet so anxious and worried about everything conscerning his father, so for him to grow up and have a better grip of their reality would make everything all the more harder.
“He thinks he always has to be strong but he doesn’t.” Reese continues, breaking Bellamy out of his thoughts and back to reality “He can be weak...he can let me help.”
“You’re just a child. He doesn’t want you to have to grow up faster than you need to, Reese.”
“Why are you defending him?” she suddenly snaps, angry at his words and behavior, like he wanted to lecture her instead of actually bring her comofrt and Bellamy realizes he may have done just that.
“I’m sorry.” Bellamy raises his hands in defence and lets go of her “I wasn’t trying to make it worse for you, I just wanted you to understand.” Reese keeps glaring at him, though, unhappy about the situation as much as Bellamy was trying to explain himself. “I have a son too and he worries just like you do.”
“So then you get it.”
“Of course I do but I also wanted to give you my perspective of things...because it’s the same as your father’s.” at that Reese’s shoulders sag and she bows her head down, thinking over Bellamy’s words as she fidgets with her fingers, twisting her thumb around between her index and middle ones.”He just loves you too much.”
“I love him too.” Reese admits softly “Ever since mama died it’s just been me and him.” Bellamy swallows hard at the horrible comparison between their family and his-he remembers vaguely that Tor’s wife died a few years after she gave birth to Reese from the flu going around at the station during that time which was pretty awful. He had gotten sick then too but that was before he even met Gina. He remembers his mom being worried about him and forcing him not to go to work so he could get better.
“He’s my hero.” she adds “But he doesn’t know that...he doesn’t have to be one all the time.” Bellamy’s eyes fill with tears at that and he leans closer to Reese.
“Come here, kid” he opens his arms for her and she throws herself in his embrace, letting him give her a warm hug for the first time today. Even though they met barely an hour ago, kids were awesome like that as they were pure and unafraid to meet people and make them their best friends in minutes. Plus Bellamy was warm and kind and he was honest with her, which is what Reese loved the most.
“Do you think we should go back and check on them?” Bellamy suggests and Reese nods after finally pulling away. When Bellamy has a hard time standing up, she grabs his hand and despite her age and size, she actually does manage to help him get stable on his feet.
By the time they come back to their place, though Tor tells them that Clarke’s been called down the hallway by another woman and Bellamy feels his face burn with uncontrolled anger.
This was all so fucking risky-they had barely twenty minutes left before they had to cross back to Factory, if she was going to risk her life like this, he wasn’t sure how many times he could pull out the Level 11 ID card trick and hope it works.
It certainly won’t hold on forever.
He tries to control his breathing and swallow down his pain but the more he stays up, the more the pain in his back increases and when he finds Clarke at the end of the same hallway as Tor’s appartment, she’s fixing a girl’s broken leg and a dislocated shoulder that her mom got after helping fix the Factory engine too.
He calls her out and gestures at the clock above her patient’s bed which makes Clarke grit her teeth and give him a curt nod as she whispered “Five minutes”. He rolls his eyes and closes the door but leaves it ajar as he kept guard. Harper was in there with her, calming down the girl with the broken leg and he rested his back on the metal wall, listening her talk to them, instructing them not to move too much and then daring, actually fucking daring to promise them she’ll be back in a few days to check how they’re healing.
She comes out of there exactly five minutes before curfew and he’s furious with her but he doesn’t show it in any other way than clenching his jaw and gripping his crutch tightly, trying to keep himself from passing out in the middle of the damn hallway when he was out there to protect her.
“Thank you, Clarke.” Harper says when they start walking back to the gates “What you did for them...it’s nothing short of a miracle for those people.” Clarke shook her head clearly unhappy with herself.
“That’s nothing. I need real bandages, moonshine, antiseptic, medicine...antibiotics.” she clenched her jaw and let Bellamy walk before them, keeping an eye on the guards but she didn’t miss how rigid his posture was or his glistening with anger looks he was throwing her way-he was mad and partly, he was right to be mad, she should’ve finished earlier but the mother and the little girl...they needed her.
So many people have heard of the doctor who fought the system and opened up a clinic in Factory-to many she was a savior and Clarke had only realized her popularity amongst those less fortunate today with Harper, Tor and this woman. Her friend had mentioned there were others who have asked for her, some who believed the Factory clinic was still running but that the guards refused them to pass so they wouldn’t be helped, third believed it was secretly operating but only for certain folks and fourth simply begged for her help.
There were many more that needed her. Harper mentioned at least a dozen more cases, most of them severe-broken bones, open wounds or bad cases of the flu going around this time of the year agian.
Bellamy was listening carefully to everything they talked about and every now and then he’d look back and she swore that if they had the time for it, he’d have stopped and started yelling at her for being an idiot about half an hour ago.
He was clearly unhappy about this but she wasn’t the only one who did dumb things-whatever this ID he showed to the guard meant, it couldn’t be good, not if they let him be so easy and she wondered what kind of mess he managed to get himself into.
“Do you think we can see each other again tomorrow or...the day after?” Harper asked once they reached the gates. There were only two guards and they were talking between each other, holding some sort of satchel and inspecting its content-probably something they had confiscated from a poor Farm or Factory person, which didn’t matter to Bellamy as long as it kept their attention away from the three of them.
He’s about to open up his mouth and argue when he sees Clarke’s hands wrap around Harpers and squeeze them tightly.
“Of course.” she states and he feels his heart fall to his feet. Goddammit that stupid self-sacrificial princess of his “Tomorrow.”
“I can come get you after I’m done with work.” Harper says “That way we’ll have more time.”
“No!” Bellamy cuts off coming a little closer to Clarke, stepping before her and facing Harper “This is dangerous! She was almost floated barely a month ago, do you want to sign her death sentence!”
“Bellamy-” Clarke stepped up glancing at him and furrowing her eyebrows “We talked about this! I’m doing it!”
“Only over my death body are you crossing the stations twice a day without proper documents!”
“I can get her another fake ID.” Harper joins in, clearly as stubborn about this as Clarke was and he shoots her another angry glance-what the fuck was wrong with Harper? She was supposed to be on his side. He knew how much he already cared about Clarke and she was willing to risk her life for this?
“It’s too risky-they can catch her.” Clarke takes him by the elbow and squeezes it tight trying to bring his attention to her but he wouldn’t budge-he kept staring at Harper with the angriest of looks but the woman seemed unafected-she was just as stubborn as Clarke was and she only jut her chin up at Bellamy in a quiet way of trying to say “Fuck you!”
“We don’t have time for this now!” Clarke urged when the warning sirens started going off, reminding people that they had two minutes to cross back to their stations “We need to go, Bellamy!” she started pushing him and she must’ve applied a little too much pressure or he was simply that tired that he swayed hard on his feet and when he did he collided right into the arms of one of the two guards that was back by the gates, checking the few passengers that had lined up.
“Hey, watch out, you cripple!” he scoffed at him and Bellamy grit his teeth as Clarke pushed him back and tried to steady him on his feet again. “Come on, line up and give me your IDs” he yelled as he started moving over the right side where the button to open the doors was.
“I’m not a cripple!” Bellamy scoffed and Clarke gripped his elbow tightly. Usually he was good at keeping his cool around the guards, well...most of the time but the events from this night and all the arguing with Harper who was now about to leave as Clarke gave her one last reassuring nod and whispered that “They’ll talk again tomorrow”, was sending him on edge.
Unfortunately the guard heard him talking back and turned around.
“What was that you said?” he asked, stopping a few feet from them but not coming closer-he was trying to treaten them with his angry look and his hand on the gun in his holster.
Clarke felt herself freeze at that and she begged the universe that Bellamy would come back to his senses but when she glanced up, she found him still staring at the guard like he was about ready to use his crutch on him and kick his butt.
Which she knew in normal cirucmstances he could probably do, but not right now and not like this-if they were caught and locked up, they’d end up at the very least punished and Clarke surely floated especially if they looked into the reasons why she was in Farm or the lack of proper legal documents on her.
“I said I’m not a cripple!” Bellamy bit back and Clarke felt a rush of fear run down her spine. The guard walked to them and this time it was her who stood up before Bellamy and raised her hand, trying to remember to sound as Factory station like as she could-she had been practicing the accent for a few weeks now but she knew she hadn’t mastered it perfectly.
“Please forgive my husband, guardsman-” her eyes looked for the name tag on the left of his chest “O’Conner” she gave him the smile of a sincere but worried wife and did her best to appeal sweet and quiet as any Factory girl should be when she had a meeting with a so-called wolf “He’s cranky because he forgot our anniversary and I gave him a speech about it.” the guard pulls back a little but his eyes don’t leave Bellamy who’s as tense as before and still looks like he’s about to tear the guard apart. His hand was now wrapped around Clarke’s wrist, ready to pull her back the moment he felt like she was in immideate danger.
“Is that so, cripple?” Clarke winced at that and felt Bellamy push from behind her, ready to fight again which of course, in turn only made the guard smile smugly. He took another step closer and reached out for Clarke’s chin, picking it up but staring still right ahead in Bellamy’s eyes “Perhaps I can make up for you, give your little Factory slut the time of her life?”
Now that send Bellamy off and he pulled Clarke away and stepped forward ready to use his crutch on the guard, but he was faster, he took it in, tore it off Bellamy’s hands and with one swift move of his hands, pressed it to his knee and used his force to break it in two and toss it away.
Bellamy let go of Clarke’s hand and tried to swing at him with his fist but again, as before, the guard was faster-he punched him in the face and then used his knee to kick him in the stomach. Bellamy swayed violently and almost hit the ground as Clarke screamed and tried to break them. The rest of the people around looked at the scene unfolding before them but they definitely weren’t surprised-it was as if this has happened a thousand times before and they were so numb to the violence and brutality the guards used on them that they simply moved away from the commotion and looked around like scared but impartial to the world animals.
“Please-” Clarke rose one of her hands again as she leaned over to grab Bellamy’s elbow and keep him up with the other “We’re sorry, just let us pass.” Bellamy looked up from under his curls angrily and just as Clarke was pretty sure he was about to provoke the guard, he got called by the other boy who had been passing some of the passengers through while the argument unfolded and O’Conner clenched his jaw unhappy that he was interrupted.
“Hey! I need some help over here! This one’s drunk!” the boy yelled and Clarke noticed he was supporting an elderly man from Factory who looked much worse for wear than her and Bellamy and someone who would definitely give them trouble unless they dealt with him right now.
He had taken out his baton, ready to use it on either one of them but now he gripped it, looked at Clarke and simply sighed angrily.
“Go on, I’ll deal with you some other time.” he gestured at them to pass through without even asking for an ID which Clarke welcomed as a silent blessing right now. It wasn’t too unusual, though-it was clear that those who waited to pass between stations at the last possible minutes were either drunks like the elderly man who came to Farm for cheap alcohol or folks like her and Bellamy probably visiting relatives before coming home for the night. Clarke noticed that he still looked at the insignia on Bellamy’s sleeve, the wrench patch and the Factory section number so he probably decided this, his poor state and both their clothes and outlook left no room for doubt.
She almost laughed at the irony of it all-this entire time, all she’s ever wanted was to leave Alpha, to be something better than what they taught her there, to help others and not just the few selected by the chancellor and she had finally done it-she was dressed in the old dress Aurora got her, had the Factory simple three-strand plaid, no make up of any sort, her shoes were Bellamy’s old ones and she looked so tired she could probably pass out if the guard had so much as simply pushed her back.
Part 39 of the single!dad Bellamy fic is posted! Here are the people who asked to be tagged (if you want to be removed please let me know): @pendragaryen, @takamurasposts, @star-sky-earth, @blakecholls, @theturquoiseoillady, @sarcasticcommentsetc, @peggysousfan, @whiteoleander, @chickens474; (I unfortunately can't tag everyone as some new Tumblr rule forbids me to do so! Sorry!)
(moodboard by @star-sky-earth):
Aurora notices it when they’re in the mess hall where the queues are shorter and more desks worked.
“Sit down, come on-” she urges him to one of the metal benches near the big tables. His breathing is uneven and his face is white as if he’s about to pass out any moment now, but it looks like his cough isn’t the problem this time but rather the pain in his leg.
“Rest while I get this, alright?” he tries to sit up and protest but she pushes his back against the table and says something that he can’t make out because his ears are ringing.
The pain is suddenly overwhelming like it usually was only either early in the morning or late at night when he came home. He forces himself to move closer and pull his pant leg up to look at the bandage on his cut that seems fine-there was just a little bit of blood in the middle but when he touched it carefully it didn’t hurt.
Or perhaps he couldn’t actually feel any of it?
He’s so lost in his pain and thoughts that he doesn’t realize Aurora’s came back.
“What’s that?” she asks when she drops all the stuff she bought on the table and sits by his side “You got hurt?”
“It’s just a scratch. I’ve cleaned it and patched it up.” he brushes her off and pulls his pant leg down moving on from the subject before she can keep prodding. He looks at the other big brown bag that was much bigger than what he thought it’d be and she pulls it down between them opening it up a bit for him to see.
“Got two boxes of Formula, some tomatoes and bananas, more coffee for you, bread, an actual big loaf of bread, some eggs and a small pack of jerky as well as corn and pea cans since I assume you’re tired of the beans.”
“Mom, that’s too much, we can’t-”
“Yes, you can!” she insists “Gus and Clarke will need this now, to get their strength back and so will you. You have to eat well and I won’t take no for an answer, Bellamy.”
“What about you?”
“I have enough.” she nods at the two bowls of algae that were her rations for the day.
“That is not it!” Aurora ignores him and stands up, motioning for him to get going. He’s slow on raising himself up this time and he staggers despite the crutch by his side so she wraps her hand around his other arm and helps him walk.
He feels weak, too weak for her liking and on the way home she asks him how long has it been since he slept or ate, which took him a while to remember. He worked all night long, almost over ten hours, went through hell with what happened with Miller and then Gus and Clarke so it has been over a day since he got any actual rest.
When they make it back in, they find the room thankfully warm enough for Bellamy to start sweating. Electricity was full back on and according to the announcements on the station hallways that they heard on the way home, it wouldn’t be stopped for three days apart from a few hours at night which was more than gracious from the chancellor or more like just a measure that secured Factory people wouldn’t protest.
What startles him is the crying coming from the bed. When both of them make it in, they see Clarke sitting up and holding a wailing Gus in her arms, trying to soothe him.
“I want dada!” the kid was screaming his guts out, crying out loud like when Bellamys only heard of him as a baby “I WANT DADA!”
“Shh, it’s okay, it’s fine, Gus, it’ll be okay.” Clarke tried holding him up in her arms but the kid screamed and kicked, tossed and turned in her arms and she was unable to do absolutely nothing to stop him.
Gus had kicked off the blankets and Bellamy could see that the bandage they’ve done on his foot was undone, probably from all of his kicking and the hustle of trying to get away.
“Dada! I want DADA!” he kept screaming. Clarke looked up when she saw them by the door and shook her head just barely at Bellamy who pulled away from his mom’s embrace, let go of his crutch letting it fall on the floor instead of leaning it on the wall like he usually did and tried to basically run to the bed, almost falling off in the process.
“Gus!” he called out, trying to keep his voice steady “Gus, dad’s here!” the kid turned his head around and Bellamy could see his red blotchy face, the fear in his eyes, his desperate cries.
He manages to sit down and open his arms for his son, letting Clarke maneuver him gently over, though he kept kicking and screaming.
“Quiet, shhhh, quiet now, I’m here, son, I’m here-” Bellamy pushed him to his chest and started rubbing his hand up and down on his tiny back-he was warm, finally, nothing like what he had been before but Bellamy still pulled one of the blankets and covered him with it. “Shhh, shh, dad’s here, I’m right here, baby boy.”
“Dada!” he cried and buried his face in his chest “Dada, dada...”
“It’s okay, it’s alright.”
“You were gone.” Gus cries out and Bellamy looks at Clarke who’s still sitting up there at a loss for words, panicking that she couldn’t do anything. “You...gone...you-”
“I’m so sorry, I had to go get you some medicine, okay?” Bellamy explains kissing the top of his head while the kid kept wailing in his arms-he seemed inconsolable, crying because he was confused and maybe in pain rather than just because his dad was gone-he was scared, too many things were happening all at once and he woke up delusioned in Clarke’s arms when the last thing he remembered was the coldness of the bathroom and Bellamy saying goodbye to him.
“What happened?” Bellamy asks when he lifts them up and starts walking around the room, gently swaying Gus in his arms, trying too sooth him, the kid wouldn’t stop crying, sobbing, his voice was hoarse as he kept wailing for his dad, even though Bellamy was already holding him.
“I don’t know, he just...we were sleeping and he woke up a minute or two before you came in. He was scared, I tried to talk to him but he wouldn’t listen.”
“Dada! DADAAAA!” he kept yelling and sobbing in his arms, he was drooling on his chest and fisting his shirt with his tiny hands as he did so-it was exactly how he looked like as a baby when he was wailing for his mom after she’d been gone.
“He’s scared.” Aurora chimes in, dropping all the food on the table and coming by Bellamy’s side, rubbing Gus’ back as well and calling out to him “Turn him over, like a baby, give him your finger to suck on.” she instructs and Bellamy has some trouble doing so but finally he manages to twist him around with much shooshing and reassurances and then as Gus keeps wailing and tossing so hard that Bellamy was afraid he may drop him, he shoved his index finger in his mouth and the kid suddenly stopped.
He started sucking on it, calming down.
“There you, there you go, good boy, I’m right here, alright? Just calm down, dad’s here, do you see me?” he asks and Gus’ eyes widen-up until that point he had no clue that he was in his father’s arm-he was just panicking, thinking they were passing him from one person to the other but now, now he was calming, breathing heavily and he was staring up ahead at his father with recognition.
“Dada?” he asks when Bellamy pulls his finger away once he’s sure he’s calmer. His body relaxes in his dad’s but it’s shaking from all the stress he’s just experienced.
“I’m here, kiddo.” Bellamy promises and carefully walks to the chair by the table and sits them down, propping him up a little and kissing his forehead, his cheeks all over while also holding his hand and never really stopping the soothing little rocks of his arm. “You’re not alone, I’m here, grandma’s here and Clarke too.” he tells Gus and the kid looks around finding the others in the room as well. Aurora sits on the chair next to them and Clarke moves in bed but Bellamy doesn’t miss the way she coughs as she does so.
“Do you remember what happened last night?”
“The...the electwicity stopped.”
“That’s right-” Bellamy knew a way of helping anxiety was to take the mind off the panic and talk about something “And dad had to go out to help fix it. I left you here with Clarke in the bathroom, do you recall that?” Gus nods a little and turns his head to Clarke.
“She kept me warm.” he said and Clarke smiled at his words softly, carefully standing up and picking Rainbow from the bed, staggering herself until she reached them and handed him the toy, which Gus wraps in his arms right away as he rests his head against Bellamy’s chest.
Aurora sees how unstable she is on her feet, so she stands up and pushes a chair for her to sit on by Bellamy’s side. Now all three of them were essentially circled around Gus who was the middle of their tiny universe, in a desperate attempt to show him their love and that they weren’t going anywhere.
“You kept me warm too, sweet cheeks.” Clarke says rubbing his knee with her hand making him smile a little.
“Did you fix the engine, dada?”
“We sure did, son.” Bellamy says carefully “Do you not feel the warmth?”
“I guess...” Gus shrugs a little but shivers again in his arms and Bellamy looks at Clarke and his mom in panic. Clarke senses it and reaches to touch his elbow.
“It’s normal. He’d probably feel cold for a day or two until all senses come back to him.” she assures and Bellamy exhales a little even though he’s still scared.
“Do you hurt somewhere?” Bellamy asks him and Gus in a fashion much similar to his father, shrugs a little, making Clarke roll her eyes at the stubborn Blake men. “How about your foot? Your toes?”
“They huwt, yes.” he admits “What happened?”
“You got some frostbite on your toes and foot-” Clarke explains patiently as she leans closer to him “It happens when you’re in a really cold place like we were last night. I wrapped it up but your dad went to get more medicine so you can heel faster.”
“Will I lose my toes like Frankie, dada?” Gus asks confused, panic rising to his voice again “Will I get them cut off?”
“No!” Bellamy assures even though he has no way of knowing what exactly will happen “We just need to bandage them and make sure you stay off your leg for a while until you recover, okay?” Gus doesn’t seem too convinced, so Bellamy nods at his mom to take out the medicine and shows him the paste they got as well as all the bandages and how Clarke would fix him right up.
“Okay?” Bellamy asks.
“Okay...” Gus agrees and lets Clarke take off his sock and undo the bandage. His eyes get fixated on it so Bellamy calls out on him, forces him to look up.
“Hey, it’s alright, it’ll be fine. I know it hurts a lot but you don’t have to hide-you can cry if it does. In fact, you need to tell us when you do so we can help out, okay?” Gus nods.
“You won’t weave, right?”
“I’m not going anywhere.” Bellamy promises.
“No work?”
“No, it’s a day off for us a all and I’ll have the next few off as well, so I can be with you and Clarke, okay?” Gus’ eyes lit up at that and he seems to feel a tad better when he hears it but he still buries his face in his dad and holds on tight while Clarke takes care of his foot.
When she’s undone the bandage and takes the paste Bellamy and Aurora bought Gus starts pulling his foot away whenever she touches him.
“It urts!” he cries out quietly “Dada, it urts.”
“I know, I know it does but Clarke has to put some cream on it to get better and you have to give her a moment, alright?” Bellamy insists holding his foot in his hand trying to prevent the kid from moving. “You have to be strong like when she gives you your vaccines, okay?” Gus whimpers and Aurora leans in too and reaches for his hand.
“Hey, you know your dad was hurt like this too.” she says softly and Gus stares at her curiously, forgetting for a moment what Clarke was doing even if his foot still jerked back involuntarily.
“Weally?”
“Yes, he was still a baby and he cried a lot too but he got better.” Aurora assures “And you will to, my boy, I promise.” she leans closer and kisses his forehead “You just have to listen to what Clarke and dad say and you’ll be fine.”
“Okay...” Gus agrees and then looks up at Bellamy who’s nodding gratefully at his mom “But you won’t let me go, right?”
“Never.” Bellamy promises and holds him while Clarke separates his toes and has to gently cover each one with the paste. Bellamy can’t take looking at them-it just hurts him too much to see his son in so much pain, so he just focuses on holding Gus and talking to him, telling him a story about a greek god of war called Ares who was too angry for the world to handle. Gus was half-listening but his attention was on his dad despite feeling the pain and trying to get free of Clarke’s expert hands. When she’s done with the bandage he’s exhausted and he relaxes against his dad’s embrace, starting to doze off a little.
“Now your leg.” Aurora tells Bellamy surprising both him and Gus. “Put it on the chair, let Clarke fix that bandage of yours.”
“But-”
“Dada, are you hurt?” Gus asks perking up a little, worry peppering his face and Bellamy throws his mom a look suggesting she really shouldn’t have said anything about this. Gus already had enough on his plate.
“It’s just a scratch.” Bellamy lies stroking his head “Dad fixed it up himself.”
“Poorly, I’m sure.” Clarke huffs as she pats his leg “Move it up, I have to see it.” Bellamy groans frustrated and then stretches his leg out but the truth is that he can’t move it up on his own and he gives Clarke a look suggesting that he just can’t do it which breaks her heart. She carefully takes him by the ankle and moves him up making him groan in the process. It’s a little hard to maneuver himself, so that he can keep holding Gus and not be in any more pain than he already was but it worked somehow and when Clarke pulled his pant leg up and undid his bandage, Gus perked up a little and stared at his cut.
“Dada you and I both are huwt.” he says looking up and Bellamy nods as he cupped his cheek.
“Yes, we are.” Gus mwhms sadly and stares down at Clarke while she fixes Bellamy’s leg, cleans up the cut and mumbles about it needing stitches despite Bellamy refusing to admit so. He has to hold onto himself and not pass out when she starts piercing his skin with the needle but he still jumps a little much like Gus did when she was treating him.
“Youw so stwong, dada.” he mumbles then “You don’t huwt.”
“Yes, I do, baby boy. I just am used to handling it.” Bellamy says when he rubs his nose against Gus’.
“Gus has to be laik that too.”
“No, you don’t.” Bellamy shakes his head sternly “I don’t ever want you to think you need to handle pain. You won’t be like me, okay?” Gus seems to be too tired to understand so he doesn’t answer, he just snuggles up in his dad’s chest and rests his tiny hand against his heart. “Hey...you hungry, little man? How about some food, huh?”
“No.” Gus shakes his head “Now hungwy.”
“Gus, you haven’t eaten since yesterday.” Bellamy scolds and Aurora reaches to cover Bellamy’s hand with her own.
“Neither have you. I’ll make him some formula, I think he’s too exhausted to eat anything else and I’ll wrap something up for you too.”
“Mom, we-”
“And then you go to bed.” she insists and gives Clarke a look “He hasn’t slept in over a twenty hours.” she nods just as she’s wrapping up his bandage and moves her hands up to his knee.
“He’s also in pain.” she adds and Bellamy rolls his eyes and huffs at them worrying over him but when Clarke squeezes his knee and he jumps in his seat, stirring Gus in the process, making him cry out because he’s just fallen and was suddenly startled, Clarke almost regrets it.
Almost.
“Bed-” she huffs “Now!”
“Hey, you’re no better either, miss I’m-coughing-my-lungs-out!” he cuts her off as he rocks Gus up and down to sooth him and kisses his face all over to calm him down while Clarke helps him up and they start walking to the bed.
“I’m just imitating mister I-already-hacked-my-lung-out.” he can’t help but laugh a little at that and of course it turns into a cough just as they settle down and Clarke pushes him and Gus against the pillows. The kid is wrapped up tightly in his dad’s arms, hands fisting his shirt and Bellamy is half sitting, half slumped on the pillows but she could see he too, was barely holding onto consciousness.
While the night was awfully hard and horrible for Clarke, at least she and Gus got some rest, though the kid was exhausted now and nodded off on his dad’s chest, curled up in a baby-like position but she had actually no clue what happened to Bellamy, how he got hurt and the hell that he’s been this entire time.
She made a mental note to ask him all about it later.
But for now she helped him lay down and covered him and Gus with their blankets.
“Clarke-” he reaches for her wrist and manages to clasp it in the last possible moment, pulling her back with sleepy tired eyes.
“What is it?”
“You should...you should...rest.” he mumbles, his voice barely a whisper, wind-like as he coughed a little but kept Gus tight in his embrace and adjusted the blankets on him.
Her heart warmed for him-despite it all he still put everyone else before him, even when he was barely awake, he wanted to make sure he’s fine.
“I’m good, I promise.”
“Clarke-”
“I’m fine, Bellamy. Nothing hurts and I’m actually warm enough now-I want to help your mom out. You have been working all night-just stay here with Gus and let us take care of you, okay?” he stares in her eyes for a long moment and then manages a small nod but not without adding.
“But after, you’re resting too, okay?” she smiles and reaches to cup his cheek, softly running her thumb under his tired eye. He leans into her touch like Gus leaned into him and it made her heart grow sizes.
“When will you ever put yourself first, Bellamy Blake?” she whispers leaning closer and brushing her lips against his forehead.
“Never.” he whispered back moving his hand up and wrapping them around her wrist again, mirroring her thumb movements on his own over her pulse before pulling it closer and giving her a small kiss there. “I’m not important.”
“You and I are going to fight about that when you’re better, okay?” he smirks.
“Can’t wait, princess.”she kisses his cheek before turning around only to find Aurora looking at them from her place near the stove as she stirred something in a pot.
Clarke immideately looked away blushing but she still commanded herself to be strong-they were after all, grown people, they couldn’t hide forever, so she willied herself to walk to Aurora and when she figured out the woman was warming up Gus some formula, she felt purpose-less and simply lingered there for a moment.
“I uh-” she began, feeling the sweat come down her back “Bellamy and I, we...”
“You’re together, I know.” when Clarke dared to take a look, she found Aurora smiling softly at her as she kept stirring the milk. She was surprised when she reached for a small jar full of a dark yellow-red substance and peppered Gus’ milk with it and she cocked her eyebrow at that. “Something to help his wounds heal faster and get him to sleep peacefully.” she explained and Clarke nodded, making a mental note to check on it later.
The Blakes and Factory overall had various little tricks when it came to healing their own wounds and she often wondered what some of the things in the tiny jars Aurora kept on the shelf above the sink were. One time she asked Bellamy and he simply said it’s spices but for healing or boosting the system yet he didn’t know the names of them, just what they do. When she asked them how they got them he shrugged and said-we pass them around.
“Did he tell you?” Clarke asks in a whisper and Aurora nods.
“More like I am good at observing what’s happening around me, so I kind of guessed.”
“Aurora, I-” she reaches for her and squeezes her arm gently yet tight enough as she tried to prove her point.
“Don’t worry.” she looks into her eyes “I’m happy for him, for you.” Clarke relaxed under her warm smile “Couldn’t have asked for a better person to love my son.” Clarke blushed again but nodded solemnly, still somewhat shy.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me-love is hard.” Aurora counters as she takes the milk off the stove and starts filling Gus’ bottle with it, twisting off the end carefully but then jostling the concotion up and down in her hand before settling it down, making the milk appear more yellow-like rather than white now.
“Help me with the bread and the tomatoes, you guys have to eat.” she nods at the big loaf that was right before Clarke and she carefully undoes the white and red plaid towel it was wrapped up with. “Thin slices, this has to last you a few days, okay?” she warns and Clarke nods-she was still new to everything here.
Her Alpha upbringing made all thoughts about saving absolutely non-existant. The other day when she was trying to help Bellamy set dinner, she poured herself and him so much of the bean can that Bellamy’s eyes widened and he shook his head, standing up softly and taking half of his back in the can for tomorrow. He wouldn’t touch hers though she wanted to do the same but he simply squeezed her arm and told her to eat-she was weaker, she’d need time to get used to this way of life.
And god did she feel bad-she never used to worry about food before or how much she ate, in fact she often couldn’t finish her big dinners and would send everything back on a trey outside that the hallway maids collected in the morning and brought back to mess hall. Sometimes she’d even throw bread or cheese away, or half her meal simply because she didn’t feel like eating it.
Here everything was saved for later, carefully wrapped in towels, pieces of cloths to preserve it. Bellamy didn’t need a fridge-every night the electricity stopped, so if he needed something to stay cold he’d simply shove it in one of the cabinets under the sink but they mostly had cans that couldn’t go bad.
Things like tomatoes and what resembled butter that Aurora got from somewhere, were rarity and appreciated as special-day meals.
“Put them here to warm it up.” Auora gestured at the still hot plate where Clarke managed to put three of her slices and she quickly figured the woman wanted to make some sort of toast for the boys. “Are you sure you’re up for it?”
Clarke ponders on the words-she knows that answering just like that wouldn’t be an honest answer and that maybe, in a way, Aurora was testing her too, to see what she’d say and if she’d admit to being ready even when she probably wasn’t.
“I don’t think anyone ever is.” she finally says back keeping her voice strong as she turns on the slices slightly darker on one side now “As you said, love is hard, relationships are hard, God knows ours won’t be any easy because of the places we both come, because of the circumstances but-” she glances at Bellamy and Gus’ soft figures and smiles, her eyes beaming and that gives Aurora all the answers that she needs “For them...I am willing to try.”
“You love him?” Aurora prods gently, motherly in a way Clarke’s never felt before-not in any accusing, warning or worried way but with warmth and support.
Clarke blushes when she looks up at her and nods slowly, There’s a beat and then Aurora places her hand on her shoulder squeezing it tight.
“Good. As I already told him, I couldn’t wish for a better person to have in his or Gus’ life.” Clarke blushes even more at that “Well, we have to teach you how to go around here since you obviously can burn even a toast.” Clarke suddenly remembers the bread and realizes it’s smelling worse, the hot plate was obviously too warm after being on for a while and she jumps in her place, reaches for the bread but Aurora pulls it away swiftly with her defty hands and transfers them on a plate.
“Sorry.” Aurora waves her hand in the air and picks up the butter, spreading it evenly on all three slices.
“Have you talked about how you’ll tell Gus?” Clarke shakes her head at that while picking the tomatoes and cutting them in small halves per Aurora’s instructions.
“We wanted to wait a little, give ourselves some time.” Aurora hmms at that and takes the small bowl of tomatoes from her, putting the tomatoes on top and reaching for more of her precious herb jars above the sink, some of which were obviously spices as she spread some on them and then added some jerky.
“I think he’ll be happy.”
“Yeah?”
“He told me so.” Clarke whips her head in Aurora’s direction making the woman smile even brighter. “The other day at the playground, he said that having you home was nice and he asked me if one day you’ll be his new mom.” Clarke’s eyes fill with tears at that “I told him I didn’t know yet but if you were, would that be okay for him and he said yes, that he loves you and you’re very warm and kind.”
“He...he really said that?” Aurora nods as she rubs her arm softly.
“Kid loves you, Clarke. Bellamy’s an amazing dad and I try my best but he’s always missed a mom. I’m not saying that you have to be one, that you need to fill in those shoes especially if you and Bellamy aren’t ready for it but just you being around, your presence...that means a lot to him.” she feels herself blush again and Aurora nods to her to grab the plate as she takes Gus’ bottle and two cups of tea as well as the cough syrup and they go to the bed where Aurora pushes a chair and places all of the stuff down there, essentially using it as a small table. “Come on now, make them eat, I’ll start on the laundry. Kid needs boxers or he’ll be walking around the house in his bare butt.”
“I’ll help too.” Clarke says but Aurora shakes her head and mouths “Later.” which Clarke isn’t too happy about seeing as she was already spreading herself thin and wanting to help her and learn more about how to do things around here in a way that doesn’t completely show off her privillege but for now she focuses on Bellamy and Gus.
She reaches out for Bellamy’s wrist and squeezes it softly.
“Hey-” he opens his eyes right away and it takes him a second to realize what’s happening but when he does, he smiles back and looks at Gus who’s asleep in his arms, face still buried in his chest. “Time to eat.” she points at the trey and picks up Gus’ bottle which he insists he takes on himself and gently pushes in the kid’s already parted lips. He starts sucking on it immideately obviously hungry again and Bellamy smiles as he watches him.
She doesn’t waste any time though and picks up his toast bringing it to his lips.
“Come on, you too.”
“No, we can wait.”
“We’re not waiting, come on, eat, you don’t have any color to you.” she insists but he still doesn’t open up and instead gives her a stubborn look.
“So what? You feed me while I feed Gus? Am I a baby too?”
“Absolutely.” she cuts off and he groans which she uses as an easy way to shove the bread in his mouth and he takes in a good bite from it, munching from it in his sleepy tired state. “Good?”
“Great.” he slumps lower on the pillows as he keeps sneaking glances at Gus who every once and then would jump a little in his embrace or kick his good leg out. “He’s...I think he hurts.”
“I know...but it will pass, the paste will soothe his leg.” she assures “Come on now, more.” she doesn’t stop until he finishes his toast and he eyes the rest in the plate.
“You too-” he insists.
“No, first you.”
“Clarke-”
“Bellamy!” she grunts back “Two for you and one for me, okay?”
“No way!” he argues moving up a little making Gus whine at the sudden change of positions forcing him to immideately lay back down and keep the now almost empty bottle steady. “You have to eat too.”
“She will, I’m bringing in soup as well!” Aurora chimes in from her place still near the stove and Bellamy looks back at her, trying to argue but she shoots him a look that suggests he won’t win this and Clarke envies that she can actually do this where she still failed.
Clarke crosses her arms and picks up the other toast as she takes the bottle away from him and tries to hand it over to him but his hands that are still blistered and burnt but now without any bandages probably because they shed last night while he was working, can’t hold onto it and he almost embarrassingly drops it. She grips his hand and takes it from him, feeding him herself again and she can tell he feels bad about it because this time he doesn’t protest, he simply grows quieter and munches on the bread and tomatoes that he seems to absolutely love.
He never stops coughing but some of the color returns to his cheeks when he finishes his toast but then glares at her until she picks her own and starts eating too, refusing to keep on until she got some as well which made her heart clench with love.
“Here you go, some of my famous corn and carrot soup for you and Clarke.” Aurora brings in two steaming bowls and pulls up another chair by the bed and reaches for him, touching his forehead and cheeks.”You’re a little warm.”
“It’s okay.” he says and watches her pass Clarke the cough syrup bottle and a spoon “No, we should keep this for Gus and you Clarke.”
“You need it most now.” Aurora insists and he opens up his mouth to fight again “This isn’t going to be an argument, Bellamy.” he grumps but when Clarke brings in the spoon to his lips he takes the syrup and is surprised when she pours him another, tries to fight her on it and has to be glared down by his mother again before he takes it too, very unhappily. Clarke almost laughs-he’s adorable, just as grumpy as Gus was when he had to wake up for school in the morning and she can’t help but smile at him.
“Okay, I’ve made enough to last you till tomorrow. Please all three of you eat well, okay?” she instructs as she stands up and swipes her hand through Bellamy’s curls in her typical motherly fashion after which she leans down and places a kiss on Gus’ forehead too.
“You’re going?” Bellamy asks a little surprised but Aurora just nods curtly.
“I have clothes to mend, dresses to make. I’ll come by tomorrow again to check on you guys, okay?” he nods but seems worried about her and the fact she’ll go back to working while he was slacking, lying in bed doing nothing. “Don’t let him leave this bed, okay?”
“Great...now you’re all ganging up on me.”
“Damn right we are.” Clarke huffs as she adjusts the blanket “If we don’t, you’d be back to work tomorrow even if your boss gave you days off.” Aurora nods in agreement and kneels closer by his side.
“Bellamy, if I find out you’ve been pushing yourself when you clearly need the rest, I’ll come here and tie you to the bed myself, I don’t care what I have to do, do you hear me?” Clarke herself almost shivers at Aurora’s stern voice but she is aware that with her threatening him like this and him knowing she’ll follow through, he won’t argue about it and that puts her at ease-arguing with him about his well-being could be exhausting sometimes. “If you have to get up, you’ll use the crutch and you won’t strain yourself, okay?”
“She has to rest too, she did spent the night out in the cold for the first time.” he argues throwing the ball in Clarke’s yard making her grumpy in turn.
“I swear, there are three children in this room, not just one.” Aurora smiles a little as she too squeezes Clarke’s arm and gives her a motherly look.
“He’s right, though, you rest as well, okay? I’ll come tomorrow.” and then before Clarke knew what was happening, she leaned closer and kissed the top of her head as well.
She blushes but it doesn’t feel awkward, on the contrary, it’s nice and it spreads a warmth through her that she had only known when her father hugged or kissed her.
It made her miss him too. The one thing from Alpha she was desperate for, was her dad. After Jackson and everything that happened with him, she only ever wished to be able to run into his arms and be held by him.
But this...here with Bellamy, it was good too. It was more than good really-she watches Aurora leave and then turns to him finding him observing her carefully, like he could read her thoughts and what was going on in her head. He reaches over and takes her hand, squeezing it briefly.
“You okay?” she nods and shakes her head of all thoughts about her dad, taking in the soup bowl and bringing in a spoon to his lips. He’s not happy about it but lets her feed him though once she’s done he stays awake until she finishes her ration too, though he’s barely there.
“Come on...come here, let’s sleep.” he pulls her down once she places her bowl away and she willingly complies-she hadn’t really done anything today but the cold from yesterday left her exhausted. As if she has spend hours in the operating room saving lives.
He puts Gus in the middle and she carefully adjusts on the inner side watching as he tugged the blankets over them. She didn’t miss the way he winced with every movement or how he still coughed despite the syrup but even as he fought his need for sleep that was pushing down at him hard, he reached over, cupped her cheek and pulled her close, right over Gus who's curled up between them on his side.
“You okay?” he asks and her heart bursts again with love for him.
She can’t help herself, she moves closer and kisses his lips softly-she needs to taste him to show him how much she loves him and his eyes, god his eyes they were so deep, so full of warmth and love despite the cold reality of their world.
“I’m good.” she whispers back and she means it-despite everything so far, this is the first time, she realizes that they all go to bed fed and warm enough and strangely, though this life is new to her, though she’s went to bed in Alpha happy, content, warm and fed many times, she finds herself happier now than ever before.
Maybe it had something to do with the man who had wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her closer and kissed her forehead or maybe it was because of the little boy curled up between them sleeping soundly, droolng on his dad’s arm that he used as a pillow or maybe it was because of herself and the choices she’s made who didn’t, even after last night, feel wrong.
