Apr 30, 2018
s/p
seen from France
seen from Türkiye
seen from Czechia
seen from South Africa
seen from Australia
seen from United States
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from China
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from South Africa
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Croatia
seen from Greece
seen from T1
seen from Netherlands
s/p
antifreeze remake wip
Y’all: *studying for exams*
Me: Hey I made from NiTW fan chars
Facilitate
The nightmare never ends.
News from the Post-Apocalyptic Future
By Marshall James Kavanaugh
May 21st, 2011: Reports coming in that the dream surfer, This Man, has been sighted simultaneously in several hundred major cities of the world. Eyewitnesses report he has been perceived wheat-pasting fliers with an inkblotted likeness of himself attached to the question: “Have you seen this man?”. These fliers are littered in abundance on telephone poles, abandoned brick walls and over billboards advertising the coming judgement. One eyewitness reports: “I’ve seen This Man in my dreams for over two millennia, always with the idea that he meant to guide me and anyone who would follow to a greater good. At the sight of his physically real body, in all its grace and honest beauty, I felt impregnated with a sudden rapture”.
A flier posted by the dream surfer, This Man.
Initial reports of an ominous golden shower looming over Athens, OH bound for each Christian family’s first born virgin, is quickly realized to be a practical joke played by a local glitter factory. A short statement by the factory’s foreman, clarifies that “they were just having some fun”.
May 22nd, 2011: At least 200 million citizens of the Earth have been reported missing, as of 6:00pm EST May 21st, 2011. Some speculate a secret government plan to round up the few surviving religious fanatics, stuff them into a giant Noah’s Ark-like spaceship, and send them to crash land on some foreign planet in a very distant solar system. When asked for a statement, the White House replies: “This is a very serious matter. At least 200 million people have completely vanished into thin air without an explanation and the numbers are still coming in. We’d like to say we could take responsibility for this matter, but I mean a giant spaceship? Didn’t you hear we laid off NASA? You’ve seen that John Cusack movie, 2012. Maybe talk to China. We just don’t have that type of ingenuity.”
May 29th, 2011: For the first time, in a long time, the Earth feels a shuddering peace of mind. The few remaining Christians worldwide have given up on faith from a frustration that even in the rapture, kickball politics resound leaving those who feel they were last to be picked for ascension to God, pissed off. Following suit, many practitioners of other world religions become distrustful of a God that could possibly be picking favorites this whole time. Even Buddhists begin to discuss the fairness that some practicing monks experience enlightenment, while the majority finds it extremely difficult even trying to figure out how to levitate. Very rapidly, in nations across the world, as churches, synagogues, mosques, and other places of worship report the lowest turn out in the history of man, weapons are laid down, missiles are disassembled, and people begin to shake hands and praise each other for once as opposed to some big brother figure up in the stars. One citizen shouts, “World Peace!” and a hand is quickly cupped over his mouth in hopes that he hasn’t jinxed the whole thing.
October 21st, 2011: The world ends its arguments, its feuds, its poverty, its hunger, its wastefulness, its borders, its politics, its nations, its moral majority. Someone mentions that this was originally predicted to be the pinnacle of Hell on Earth. In its place everyone seems to be having a grand old time. Every day is treated like a celebration. Pizza is served three times a day. There is music and poetry constantly. People express themselves amicably. Language is no longer a confusing matter. Everyone has a home. People take vacations. Marijuana is legal. Beer is free. People actually work at jobs that they enjoy. Fossil fuels are no longer used. That whole thing called Global Warming has been eradicated, along with bureaucracies and other systems that don’t make any sense. Individualism is embraced. Currently the greatest concern for any citizen of the world is what to wear for Halloween. Someone else says something along the lines of how this worldwide mecca greatly resembles the dream punk scene in Philadelphia circa 2009. Another says, “Dream on!”
December 21st, 2012: After over a year of merrymaking idealism, The Earth finally reaches the singularity point. Human minds are elevated to the 4th dimension. Everyone is really happy with their new Inspector Gadget outfits. The physical world implodes. There’s no bang, just a sigh of relief and an easygoing dream.
POST NOTE: There was a very well written article on the Washington Post a few days ago on how predictions of Judgement Day are harmful to people. I'm truly surprised there hasn't been more reporting of this manner.
