#sinruby

[lanternlit]

@sinruby said: 🚩 oh i'm always here for the tea lmaoo

send me a 🚩 and i'll share my unpopular rpc opinions and hot takes    /    ACCEPTING ↷

Why yes thank you kindly! XD

OK, so, "you don't owe people anything", "you do owe people basic kindness"................... secret third thing.

Both of these things are true and most folks I ever see discuss this actually share the same opinion even when they are arguing against the other. Literally most folks who say either of these things actually agree and are just arguing about semantics.

Whenever I see people explaining why one or the other of the above statements is the correct opinion, they are literally agreeing with what the people who have the opposite opinion use for their justifications, more or less. You don't owe people anything originates from useful counter-practice for abuse survivors and people pleasers, and it doesn't, for most people, mean that you think you get to be a dick to people. You do owe people basic kindness seems to be to counter some of the current Western hyperindividualistic culture, to urge people to do nice things for others because, as we are social mammals, that just feels nice; it's also not meant to be tellilng people to be doormats. So the statements sound opposing, but when you talk to people about what they mean when they say these things, you most often find that they actually agree.

I think both statements are useful, and that everyone gets to decide for themselves which one is more useful for them. "You do owe people basic kindness" might be useful if you're self-aware of your hyperindividualistic tendencies and want to take others into consideration more... but if you're self-aware of being selfish, I don't know that you need such mottos at that point. If you're feeling guilty about being selfish, you're probably already... not really selfish, imho. So, honestly, this side feels more reactive and antagonistic, to me - something to tell other people, rather than something to live by, yourself. It feels accusatory. But! I might be mistaken, and if you susbscribe to this, feel free to talk to me about what the statement means to you and why you agree with it!

"You don't owe people anything" might be useful for chronic people-pleasers and autistic people*, people who feel guilty for not being enough for others, people learning to take better care of themselves.

*secret third thing within the secret third thing within the secret t- Yes, autistic people, both because RSD profile autistics are likely to be people pleasers, but also because PDA profile autistics, such as myself... let me ramble on for a bit.

I have PDA profile autism, PDA being officially short for "pathological demand avoidance" and re-nicknamed unofficially as "persistent drive for autonomy". So I am not a people pleaser, never have been. I'm not overly selfish either, to the point of never taking anyone else into consideration (though I sort of used to be, as a kid/teenager). If anything feels like (not actually is, but feels like it might be) a threat to my autonomy? It's that much harder to comply. If someone tries to tell me I owe anyone anything, I'm going to double down and shut down and cooperate less, because my nervous system reacts defensively to that rhetoric. So, no, I do not owe anyone anything, because if I did, I would not do anything kind for anyone. I don't owe anyone anything, but I can choose to be kind - is much more useful for me. Now it's my choice, now I'm being kind because I choose to, not because I feel like I need to. If I feel like I must meet some moral standard, I am not going to. If I feel like I am choosing, however, I can do kind things for others, I can and want to take people into consideration, etc. The moment I feel like I have to, I won't want to. So I could never go by thinking I owe anyone anything because if I believed that I would instinctively just rebel against that.

Also just, I would much rather someone else be kind to me because they choose to out of their own free will, than they feel... obligated to? Like they owe it to me? The latter sort of almost makes me feel like they're being dishonest with me. I know that's not the case, I know people can have moral rules for themselves in that rhetoric without it being dishonest, I'm saying that's what it feels like. "I don't owe anyone anything, but I can choose to be kind" is perhaps the single most useful sentence I have adopted into my personal values that has actually made me a kinder, less selfish person over the years, "I don't owe anyone anything" is how I have become more mindful of considering others. I had a streak of moral OCD about ten years ago, and while that probably made me seem more selfless... that was me being there for others because my OCD was telling me things like "if you don't, you'll get cancer" etc. ultimately always selfish and unsustainable. I had no personality, no free time from compulsions, I was compulsively donating money despite not always even having enough income to cover my rent at one point, etc. And recovery from that looked a lot like putting myself first, again. And healthy growth towards balance of prioritising myself but considering others, these past several years has looked a lot like, "I don't owe anyone anything (but I can choose to be kind)".

[thechosengryffindor-archive]

⭐️⭐️⭐️ for Hermione & Harry @hvbris

For each “⭐️” I get, I’ll write a headcanon about our muses.

The bond between them can be almost overwhelming for Harry who isnt very in tune with his emotions, so neither of them are surprised when he proposes a week before they return to hogwarts after the war is finally finished

When Harry is forced to take over the order when the war doesn't end at Hogwarts he knows it won't be for long, Hermione is his chosen successor from day one but he doesn't tell her. He doesn't know how to explain to his best friend that this war will only end when he dies.

Every year around Christmas time they go back to Godric's Hollow to visit his parents graves. They're always disillusioned for fear of the press finding out, but Harry tells her he couldn't do it without her.

@hvbris

[countlessrealities]

19. If you could learn any language at the snap of your fingers, which would you learn, and why?

Munday questions || Accepting !

If you had asked me this question a few years ago, I would have said Japanese without hesitation. I started wanting to learn it back during my manga / anime phase, but held onto that thought even after it. I'm fascinated by Japanese culture, and their language is basically a form of art in itself.

These days, while I'd still love to, I'm also tempted to pick French, because it's a language that will be useful to me in my work later on. I can speak a little of French, but I'd definitely need to take courses and stuff. I'm not great with languages, I need a full immersion to learn one properly.

Having to pick, I guess that I'd reluctantly go for the language I'd have a practical use for, so French.

[kingofthewebxxx]

📕 — favorite book/series? 🖊 — any tattoos? 🐶 — any pets? ⭐️ — sun, moon, & rising signs, if known

Favorite book/series?

I also used to love the mortal instruments series and as for series other than Sherlock, the three musketeers

Any tattoos?

Not my kind of thing, although if I did have one would likely me a memorable quote of some kind to encourage self confidence or to reflect my loved ones if that makes sense

Any pets?

I am afraid not, only virtual ones on video games 🤣

Sun, moon, & rising signs, if known

Sun sign- Cancer

Moon sign- Virgo

Rising sign- Taurus

Thank you

[advnterccs-archive]

🌼🍄🌳

TIME FOR SOME POSITIVITY! || no longer accepting

{ OOC } A blog with beautiful writing, hands down, has to be @moralpuppet, I've seen their writing and I can't help to be amazed and in awe of it. It flows so well and it makes it such an interesting read every single time !! Plus I really like how they format with the colored texts but I've been too shy to ask how they do that xD

@dogtccth has very incredible graphics !! The ask banner and the divider and the icons they use all look so pleasing to the eye, so very aesthetic uwu !! It definitely catches my eye in a very good way~

Call me biased but the best resource blog I know of is @justmemethings !! It has everything, original memes, reblogged memes, PSAs, everything !! uwu and tbh it's the one I mostly reblog from these days~

[flownintothesun]

 ⋆ ✰ ⋆ ───    𝟏𝟐. 𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬? 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦? 𝟏𝟑. 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡?

                            ⋆ ✰ ⋆ ─── 𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐞 ( @sinruby ; @hvbris ; @imprvdente )

𝟏𝟐. 𝐃𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬? 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨, 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐮𝐬 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦?

I’m pretty boring when it comes to adding new muses these days, honestly. Right now, I don’t have any plans to introduce a new character. I’m really enjoying writing my OCs and breaking away from writing canon muses for the most part (nothing wrong with canons for those who enjoy it, I’ve just personally been finding them restrictive lately). The OCs I do have on here are the product of a lot of character/world building, most of which I’ve done behind the scenes in writing things with @batteredoptimist over the past few years. We do have over 100 characters between us that have popped up at some point in our verses which is absolutely wild to me. Right now, I don’t feel that much gravity with any of my other ‘secondary’ muses  — but who knows if that’ll change in the future? For now, my newest are Lucienne and Mariano.

𝟏𝟑. 𝐖𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐡 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐢𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡?

All of them? Is all of them an answer? Because legitimately, all of them. There are so many of your muses that I would be interested in writing with, and all of my muses tend to have their places. For me personally — I’ve tended to have the most consistent muse for Marin lately but I know she’s not everyone’s cup of tea. I actually think that we should probably explore Fish and Westley all things considered. It really depends on the vibe of the thread. I love Francis with Fish particularly. There are a lot of your muses I haven’t had the chance to write with or learn much about yet but I honestly think we could make something work beautifully for just about any of them. Lucienne is the wild card because I don’t have her fully fleshed out yet. I know this is probably a non-answer but I’d love to have a reason to throw all of them at you at some point, honestly.

[unfinishedbusincss-archive]

i refuse to accept responsibility for this.

"Hey--excuse me! Hey!" Margot steps out in front of them and waves a little to catch their attention, already annoyed. "Hi, yeah. You know where the...," she pauses, checking the hastily scribbled note in her hand, "...Sage & Sorrow Shoppe is? There's supposed to be some kind of fair there, I was hoping I could still make it but I am lost lost."

[piinetrees]

@sinruby replied:  THE FANDOM HATES MABEL??? WHY???

OH BUDDY BUCKLE UP ITS LITERALLY SO STUPID

most of the hate stems from the fact that a lot of the conflicts are started by her or are made worse by her in one way or another ( for example, the whole bill possession dipper thing could have been entirely avoided had mabel actually agreed to help dipper with the password to the laptop like she promised instead of working on the puppet show for that weeks crush) BUT there is a VERY BIG percentage of people that think mabel is evil and irredeemable for being understandable upset about the idea of leaving her friends and dipper behind in gravity falls and going home alone if dipper really and truly decided to stay and become ford apprentice, and they think she is evil for being manipulated by bill into giving over the rift which in turn causes weirdmageddon. but she was like,..... tricked...... and manipulated into giving it over....... the fans hate her because shes a girl trying to live her best life and make everyone happy because shes a chronic people-pleaser who is (rightfully) afraid of growing up and being separated from the people she cares about 🙄 LITERALLY SO DUMB