Yours, Sita
Mid December of 1965, I remember leaving behind Hyderabad to find home, with you, in Kashmir. I had run away from the palace just a day after you had left. I remember turning up to your camp. You were there, with the rest of the troop. I remember your first words to me when we met.
"Nenu inka anaathani kaadhu kada?"
"I'm no longer an orphan, right?"
Why had you ever thought that way Ram? I wanted to tell you that very moment, that no matter how far apart we were from each other, no matter how many months we lived away from one another, you would always belong with me. And I with you. That no matter what kept us apart we would always tend to inch close to each other even if it was by just a footstep.
But you were too overwhelmed to listen to anything but a yes and so was I to do anything besides nod.
It has been over two decades since you've left. Your badge would've dried and dampened a million times since. I've been told all sorts of lies. That you were a traitor. That you traded the army's co ordinates to get out. None of it has affected me. But the one thought that constantly affects me is if you've forgotten that there is someone on the other side of the border, waiting for you. There's someone you have to return back to.
The home you left is still in the same shape, to hold onto as much of you as possible. I return to Kashmir only during the winter, because it is the only season which feels like home here. Because it is the only season I got to spend with you here. I try to replicate all my sarees to the ones you loved best. I still hold onto every little piece of trinket you brought me.
I will always regret not stressing on the fact that you have me, forever. And I need you too, forever. Will always regret that I couldn't let you know that in every lifetime, in every universe, I will choose you. That tommorow if you are Majnu I will call myself Laila, if you are Krishna I will name myself Radha. But for now you're Ram hence I will be Sita.
Yours, Sita
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This was a force writing sesh to get myself out of my writers block masked laziness ;)
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