Wreak Havoc: I Started A Joke
For @zannatinuviel, here is what is basically a glorified roll-call. Enjoy?
*~*~*~*~*
“For the sake of argument,” Obi-Wan said stiffly, “let us assume we agree to this plan. Exactly what sorts of criminals would be on this task force.”
Tarkin smiled a thin smile and began pulling up holo files. “The Chancellor authorized me to assemble a roster.”
The first file was a female Awon-Human hybrid, well-known to Obi-Wan. “Aurra Sing.” He said sharply. “The Jedi killer.”
“Yes, Knight Kenobi, Aurra Sing.” Tarkin flipped through the file, past stills and vids alike, though the first still remained, Sing glaring out at them from the holo undoubtedly taken at the detention center. “Born Nashta on Nar Shaddaa. A bounty hunter and assassin responsible for the deaths of at least half-a-dozen Jedi including Master J’Mikel and Knight Peerce here on Corusant. She herself was trained as a Jedi for a few years as a child, was she not.”
“She was.” Master Windu acknowledged. “And as such she is under our jurisdiction.”
***
“I’m sorry sirs,” the Clone guard stutters. “But the prisoner is in isolation and there are strict instructions that she is to see noone.”
“What did she do?” Obi-Wan asks before Tarkin can demand entry again.
“She, uh, she started a fight, sirs. Killed two and injured six more, sir.”
***
“Indeed.” Tarkin mused softly before moving on. “Sing is most renowned as a sniper, she seldom misses. She was captured five standard months ago on Lantilles.”
He flipped to the next file. “Moralo Eval, a Phindian criminal known for his technical engineering skills and ability to evade capture. Began his career with the murder of his mother when he was young, reportedly because he was ‘bored’.”
Obi-Wan nodded. “Of course, because placing a cunning and ruthless being in a situation he will very much wish to escape from cannot possibly go badly.”
Tarkin gave him a disdainful look that even Obi-Wan had to admit was impressive.
***
Eval watches them closely. “What do the Jedi want with me?” he says, sounding amused. “I can’t imagine you suddenly find my habits…pleasant.”
Obi-Wan says nothing and neither does Tarkin as the clone guards tranquilize the murderer and prepare him for the implant.
***
“CT-3733, the defective clone trooper.”
Obi-Wan stiffened and felt his fists clench involuntarily. “3733 killed and injured several other Clones and nearly injured my padawan.”
“Nevertheless, he is on the taskforce.” Tarkin said, beginning to radiate an unmistakable air of impatience. “If you do not mind, Knight Kenobi.”
Master Windu gave him a look and Obi-Wan subsided, still unhappy.
***
“I don’t have anything to say to you.” 3733 snarls, lunging against his restraints in Obi-Wan’s direction. “Why don’t you just go ahead and decommission me like you are supposed to!”
“You should thank us.” Tarkin says blandly. “You are being given a second chance to serve the Republic, 3733.”
“My name. Is. Slick!” the clone trooper growls even as he succumbs to the sedative.
***
“Doubtless you are familiar with CT-3733’s file.” Tarkin smirked. “Ayy Vida.” A female Twi’lek with a red marbled pattern on her yellow skin. “Formerly affiliated with Hat Lo, a small-time crime lord in the Corusant underworld. She was detained in the company of two con artists who were impersonating GAR personnel at the time. Hat Lo used her as an assassin and dancer as well as,” he sneered. “Other things.”
***
Vida doesn’t look like anything special. She moves with her shoulders hunched in, her lekku twitching self-consciously. All in all, she looks the same as the countless Twi’leks Obi-Wan has encountered on dozens of planets.
“You’ll get me out of here?” she says warily, brown eyes flashing between Tarkin and Obi-Wan. “What’s the catch?”
***
A male Sakiyan, light-skinned with facial tattoos. “Sixtat, also known as the ‘Outland Butcher’. A bounty hunter known for his particularly brutal methods. He has been known to kill entire families. Was arrested during an assassination attempt on Senator Mothma of Chandrila.”
***
Sixtat is already sedated by the time Obi-Wan and Tarkin arrive at his cell.
“Sorry, sirs.” The Clone guard apologizes. “He was violent and uncooperative.”
***
Tarkin paused rather dramatically. “And lastly, Anakin Skywalker.” The last file was of a young human male in detention oranges, glaring at the holo-cam as if he could destroy it with sheer force of will. He likely could. “Pirate and terrorist in the Outer Rim, captured a year ago on Tatooine during negotiations with the Hutts by you yourself, Knight Kenobi, by which actions you secured Jabba’s cooperation in allowing the Republic access to the trade routes of Hutt Space.” The Force gained a tint of disgust. “An advantage which was nearly lost when you refused to surrender Skywalker to the Hutt.”
“He is a powerful Force user,” Master Windu cut in. “Though completely untrained. He would have escaped immediately and resumed his activities.”
***
“Jedi Kenobi.” Skywalker says. Obi-Wan can feel his anger pulsing in the Force. “How kind of you to visit.” His rim accent is broader than Obi-Wan remembered, as is the blinding presence he is in the Force, even tainted by his dark emotions.
He also looks younger, surrounded by a force cage, looking up at Obi-Wan and Tarkin with hatred in his blue eyes.
The Clone guards do not even attempt to take the force cage down until he has been shocked into unconsciousness.
***
“This is quite the…team you have assembled.” Obi-Wan said, allowing his skepticism to show. “But you would need someone quite talented to manage them.”
Tarkin and Master Windu both looked at him.
He has a very bad feeling about this.