Artti can’t pinpoint the exact moment when he and Sunny became more than friends. It was a slow process. From being colleagues to work friends and then to friends who share late night confession under the stars (and sometimes under northern lights too). Suddenly Sunny was the person who he wanted to tell everything. The good and the bad things. The Norwegian was the first thing that came to his mind in the morning and the last thought before he fell asleep. There wasn’t even a big love confession. They slipped right into being lovers (Sunny loved to call them Lovers. Artti found it slightly cringe, but he has gotten used to it.)
Someday they just broke the physical barrier. It was in Sunny’s backyard on an old trampoline. They just looked at each other, laying in each other’s arms, and both knew that this was it. Their fist kiss was perfect, smooth as if they did a million times before but with the same emotional explosion that comes with a first kiss. From then on, they were inseparable. Artti never experienced something this real and good. Not with any of his other partners, not while ski jumping, not while doing literally anything else.
To their surprise nobody noticed them. Not really at least. Everyone knew that they were close. So, nobody questioned why they spent so much time together. To the defence of their friends, they decided to keep their relationship lowkey for the beginning. “I mean let´s just try this for us for the moment. It could be sexy sneaking around.”, Sunny said one day when they carpooled together to a training camp. A carpool that didn’t really make sense since Sunny and he lived in opposite directions, but who would question them. “We could even soft launch it! You were always jealous of couples that got to soft launch. I saw your TikTok feed.”
“I mean I am sucker for soft launches.”, Artti said and grabbed the other one’s hand over the middle console of the car. He pressed a quick kiss on Sunnys knuckles without taking the eyes from the road. At least he was trying not to. He was a good driver, and he was proud of it. Even Sunny couldn’t change that.
Sunny nodded enthusiastically and squeezed Artti`s hand. “Great so I thought we could do some silly and really cringe insta comments or something like that and see how crazy we have to go until someone questions us.”
“You match my freak so well, babe.” Artti couldn’t help himself and smiled brightly at his boyfriend. Shit now he really couldn’t keep his eyes on the road.
1. Comments
They made a bet out of it. How obvious do they have to get until the team noticed it? Artti`s bet was that they could literally kiss with them around and they wouldn’t get it. Sunny was a bit more confident on the social ability of their team. He bet their team would get it before Engelberg even when they wouldn’t kiss in front of them.
“I am just gonna comment looking hot with that Italian chef pasta hand movement thing.”, Artti said when they were chilling on the couch in Sunny’s apartment in Oslo. They just came back from Courchevel and Sunny was preparing his insta post. Artti was in the Norwegians arms and looking at his phone. Sunny’s chin was on his head holding the phone in front of them.
“What Italian chef pasta hand movement thing?” Artti could feel the other one’s chuckle against his hair. He let go of Sunnys arm in front of him and made the movement. That made Sunny laugh even harder. A sound so dear to Artti. “Oh, that Italian chef pasta hand movement thing. Yes, comment that. I doubt that they will catch on but its good anyways.”
The problem is that their whole team was kinda crazy like them. A week later Artti posted a pic of himself. Naturally Sunny commented under it but a few minutes later a comment from Benji showed up. Sexy boy. Sunnys bella looked old against that. “Should I be jealous?”, he asked and holds his phone in front of Artti`s face. They were in Artti`s kitchen, prepping a salat for dinner.
“I love Benji, he is even more unhinged than us.” Sunny scrunched his nose while he cut a cucumber.
“That only concerns me more.”, the taller one said.
Artti wrapped his arms around Sunnys waist from behind. His head laid in the crook of Kristoffers neck. “You know I only have eyes for you. But I fear the commenting tactic isn’t enough.”
Sunny turned in Artti`s arms. His back pressed into the counter behind him. He leaned down a bit and pressed his lips on his boyfriends. It was a soft kiss. Almost lazy. “Well, I guess we have to be crazier than them.”
2. Sharing Clothes
Logistically it made no sense for them to share clothes. Sunny was a good bit taller than the Estonian. Artti`s clothes were cropped when Sunny wore them and Artti always looked like got swallowed by the Norwegians clothes. Obviously, it didn’t stop them.
It was an accident when it first happened. Sunny had worn a trainings shirt from Artti to sleep the night before. They spent the night apart. A rare occasion these days. Artti had a zoom family call that Sunny didn’t want to interrupt. Sunny didn’t know if it was worrying or cute that he already had trouble sleeping without his other half. He couldn’t help himself and got a training shirt out of Artti`s drawer. It ended a bit above his hip bone, but he hadn’t cared. Well until he overslept, sprinted to the car in his sleep clothes (he did brush his teeth tho) and realized in the gym that he didn’t have a clean shirt in his training back. That’s how he ended up in an Estonian training’s shirt.
Artti`s eyes almost fell out when he stepped through the door. “Interesting choice. Not that I am complaining.”, he whispered to the Norwegian who couldn’t help the blush.
Sunny scratched the back of his head, exposing a bigger stretch of his midriff. Artti shamelessly eyed him up. The toned muscles were working with the arm movement and that Artti knows how they felt under his fingers made him even more horny.
“I overslept and for whatever reason I don’t have another shirt in my bag.”, he tried to explain himself.
Before Artti could reply, a whistle sounded through the gym. “Are you trying to seduce us Sunny?”, Johann shouted from the other end of the room.
“Or are you trying to change nations and team Estonia only carries that size?”, Marius chimed in. He was closest to them and Artti reached over to smack him on the head.
“Rude, Linus. Very rude.”, Artti spoke and went to the mats to warm up.
Sunny still was standing at the door of the gym. Observing the chaos. “I mean Artti is probably a way better teammate than you guys are. Also, we would always have to coolest super team.”, he finally spoke up.
“Aw, I feel touched Sunny. You are always welcome in team Estonia. We just have to get you the nationality. If you want to, we could get married. We would be great husbands.”, Artti winked at his boyfriend. When they had the opportunity to soft launch in person, they could use it.
“No but for real, why?”, Halvor asked who was quite before. He came up from his mat. Already done with stretching.
Sunny stepped over to take over the mat. “I overslept.” It was a half-truth. Enough to tease more questions he thought. He could hear Artti chuckle on the mat next to the now free one. With a sigh he dropped to the mat and looked up at Halvor.
“Not really an answer but what did I expect from you guys.”
3. Vacation
Two months later they were on vacation together in France. Well and with Benjamin, their teammate, who heard them while planning the trip. They felt bad leaving him behind, so he tagged along. A romantic dinner where they made heart eyes at each other was crashed by Benji trying to set them up with a server. Artti didn’t know if he should consider that Benji was at least suspecting that there was something going on between them because he tried to sell them as a package deal. It obviously didn’t work. Both he and Sunny were not cooperating. Very much to the distaste of Benjamin. “I can’t believe you guys. She was hot and her accent man – “
“If you like you can go out with her.”, Sunny said while they were strolling on a beach during sunset. After that set up Artti really needed to hold Sunny’s hand, so he did. No reaction from Benji. Maybe he was clueless after all.
“You know that I have a girlfriend that I love. And before you ask, we talked about situations like that. I mean you can’t help it if you find another individual attractive. We are in a very healthy relationship.”
Sunny pats onto the other Norwegians back. “Got it. Next time you could even bring her along. It would be a cute couple’s trip.” He pressed Artti`s hand and smirked at him. Artti shook his head. This wouldn’t seal the deal.
“If you wouldn’t mind then obviously yes. I thought about asking you for this trip, but I didn’t want to overstep.” Benji continued to go on but neither of them paid him much attention.
“Of course we wouldn’t mind. We could do double dates and stuff.”, Sunny doubled down.
But Benji only nodded. “I mean if there is anyone, we could do stuff like that without being weird about it, it would be you guys. You are so good friends, most people would probably think that you are really on a date.”
Artti leaned over to Sunny. His mouth just centimetres away from Sunnys skin right below his ear. Right where he knew his boyfriend had a sensitive spot that he loved to kiss. “I think we have to become more drastic.”
4. Photo dumb
Drastic meaned a couple photo on Instagram. “You look too cute together. The ladies will go wild over you guys’ next season.”, spoke Johann the day after they posted the pics during training. Artti rolled his eyes and Sunny shook his head. Artti`s head was literally on Sunny shoulder, and they looked at each other pretty in love. What else are they supposed to do? Well apart from telling them. But that would be way to boring.
“Nah, we don’t need girls. We have each other.”, Artti said and put an arm around Sunny’s waist. Casual but with enough intent and low enough to not be confused with a friendly gesture.
The Norwegian leant into the touch. “Exactly. Having Artti as my partner is enough for me.” For a few seconds they share a loving look then they get interrupted by Halvor.
“Right and I am santa claus. I am just waiting on the first girl that throws a bra at one of you during a team presentation.”
“In what century are we? The 80s?”, Artti gave a smack to Sunny’s ass and then broke the side hug. Even that was too normal for their teammates.
“No sexual harassment at the workplace.”, Benji joked.
5. Moving in together
Before the start of the new season, they kinda gave up. They just were being themselves around the team and they still hadn’t gotten it. To be fair they still hadn’t kissed around them. But they have done everything else that is at least partly suitable at work. Smacking each other’s asses. Cuddling. Holding hands. Calling each other boyfriends.
Two weeks before the season starts, they had the glorious idea to move in together. So much more convenient for the heavy travel load. They would gain so much time together.
The whole team was outside of Artti`s flat loading his personal stuff into the team vans the lent from the Norwegian ski federation. “Just those boxes and we are done.”, Artti said when he and Halvor brought a stool outside.
“I still don’t get why you are doing this?”, Marius said while lifting a box into the trunk.
“Because all of you are stupid.”, Sunny laughed. Stupid indeed. How couldn’t they connect the dots now? They were literally moving in together. And into Sunnys bachelor pat with one bedroom to say the least.
Halvor shook his head. “Or you are stupid. We already have a bet going on how long this will work until you guys are at each other’s throats.”
“Is that your only bet about us?” Artti and Sunny shared a glance. This could be the moment if their teammates where not completely dumb.
“I mean we have a bet on who get the next girl friend? But Tate is included as well?”
Sunny couldn’t help himself and started to laugh out loud. Like really laugh. With his head thrown back and all.
“20 bucks on Tate.”, Artti spoke while Sunny tried to contain himself.
6. Kissing – the 1 time it worked
“I have the gin.”, Sunny announced when he entered the cabin at the hill in Engelberg with a bag from a local supermarket. He spent a good portion of the morning roaming around the town, trying to find a nice gin that his boyfriend would like.
Sunny officially lost the bet he and Artti had going on about when and if their colleagues would figure out that they are together. With his bet on before Engelberg Sunny apparently really put too much faith into his team full of dorks. The stake was a date of the other one’s choice and Artti wanted a gin night in the Swiss alps.
Artti`s heat shot up and he put on his nicest smile. “Thanks, darling. I appreciate the effort.”
With a few steps Sunny dropped down on the bench next to his boyfriend and showed him the goods inside the bag. “I hope you like it. You know I don’t really know gin.”
So far Kristoffer had only eyes for Artti but now he allowed his eyes wander around the cabin. Halvor was changing into his suit, Johann did a few stretches next to him and Linus checked his equipment. Isak was already out doing imitations. Sunny leaned closer to his boyfriend. “You know since the bet is over, I think it’s finally time to tell them.”
“Benji will never forgive us when he isn’t first to know.”, Artti replied in a hushed voice.
Sunny knows he is right. Benji was their third wheel. He would be devasted to find out he wasn’t first to know. “Should we just text him? I am officially over this.”
“Or we facetime him.” Artti wiggled with his eyebrows as if he has a plan. He always had the best plans and Sunny trusted him, so he got his phone out.
Benji was chronically online and obviously picked up after the first ring. “Shouldn’t you be prepping for a competition?”, he askes without a greeting.
“Is that Benji?”, Halvor asked from the other end of the cabin and stepped over to them.
Sunny nodded at his teammate before he gave his phone to Artti. “Halvor, could you do me a favour and hold the phone please?” Artti handed the phone to Halvor right away, who took it sceptically.
Now the rest of the team in the cabin got interested as well. “What are you two scheming again?”, Johann asked and looked cursorily in their direction.
“Yes Artti, what are we scheming?”, Sunny turned to his boyfriend who had a smug grin on his face.
He felt who Artti gently put his hand around the back of his neck. His boyfriend still looked at the phone and Halvor. “You told us you have several bets on us going. But what if we told you guys, that Sunny and I also have a bet about you. Well, had. Sunny lost on Friday.”
“Its not several bets. Its only two.”, Marius chimed in from his bench.
Halvor looked at him dumbfounded. “That’s not important. Important is what was your bet?”
Finally, Artti tore his gaze from the room and looked at Sunny, who was already looking at his boyfriend. He let his tongue go over his lip in anticipation of what was to follow. The only thing they hadn’t done. Artti pulled his boyfriend closer at the neck until finally their lips met. It was a short but sweet kiss. Nothing spectacular but it got a gasped from the team.
“I think I missed a few chapters.”, Johann was first to speak when they parted again.
For a few seconds Sunny leaned his forehead against Artti`s. “Nice move.”, he whispers then he moved away from his boyfriend and turned to his teammates. He had a cheeky grin on the lips. One that could rival Artti`s.
Marius and Johann shared a quick gaze. Halvor and Benji both had red cheeks as if they walked into something scandalous. “Do we have to get even more obvious?”, Artti asked.
“I assume you guys are dating?” Marius spoke carefully as if not to offend them.
“Thank god finally.”, Sunny said and shook his head. “How hard was that? We literally live together and you dorks didn’t figure it out. Thanks to you, I had to buy ridiculous expensive gin.”
Benji gasped on the phone. “Were you already together when we went on vacation? Oh God you were - you were holding hands the whole time.”
“And the whole insta comments and posts… Did you try to do a soft launch?”, Johann commented and got his phone out.
Artti laughed out loud. “Yes, we did but that didn’t really work out.”
Sunny pressed a short kiss on his cheek. “But at least it was fun.”
The door to the cabin opened and Isak stepped inside, seemingly done with the imitations. He picked up at the weird tension in the room immediately and looked from one teammate to the other. “What did I miss?”
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I'm done writing the fanfic I teased at yesterday! I'll just leave it as a link here this time though lol, i wanna sleep soon. Anyways, I hope I can satisfy some of your (and my own) cravings for Hoffmund, though this is very much self-indulgent
Stephan hat Geburstag und wenn das kein Grund ist, einen Lellingershot zu posten, weiß ich auch nicht.
(Es ist ungelogen 4 Jahre her, seit ich die beiden das letzte Mal geschrieben habe sob)
Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan.
Oder: Wer adored hier eigentlich wen? (FF) (ao3)
Die Tür des Hotelzimmers fällt mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss. Er atmet tief ein und hat seine Augen geschlossen, während er sich mit hinter dem Rücken verschränkten Armen an die Türe lehnt. Der ganze Trubel, der gerade noch um ihn herum geherrscht hat, ist verstummt. Stattdessen nimmt ihn eine wohlige Stille in Empfang. Die vielen Fragen der Reporter, die am Ende doch die immergleichen waren, 4,8 Punkte Rückstand vor dem letzten Springen, beunruhigt Sie das? Spüren Sie den Druck, nachdem Sie auf Platz 2 in der Gesamtwertung gerutscht sind, nun deutlicher? hallen nur noch leise in seinem Kopf nach. Andreas atmet noch einmal tief ein und langsam wieder aus, dann öffnet er seine Augen und sieht, dass das Nachtlicht im Schlafbereich angeschaltet ist. Schnell schlüpft er aus seinen Schuhen und lässt seine Jacke achtlos auf den Boden fallen, auch wenn er weiß, dass Stephan später seine Augen verdrehen wird, wenn er das Chaos sieht. In wenigen Schritten ist er im Hauptbereich ihres Hotelzimmers angelangt, wo sein Zimmerpartner mit einem Buch in der Hand in ihrem gemeinsamen Bett liegt. Der Anblick von Stephan, wie er in einem – seinem – ausgewaschenen Shirt und einer schwarzen Jogginghose mit dem Rücken an der Wand lehnt und die Beine entspannt übereinander geschlagen hat, sorgt dafür, dass Andreas' Herz unbeholfen und voller Zuneigung in seiner Brust stolpert.
„Hey“, grüßt Stephan ihn, während er sein Buch zur Seite legt und ihn mit einem warmen Lächeln, was seine Grübchen zum Vorschein bringt, willkommen heißt. Anstatt zu antworten, überbrückt Andreas den Abstand zwischen ihnen, lässt sich neben ihn sinken und umarmt ihn kurzerhand. Die Position ist nicht ideal, aber das stört ihn nicht. Sein Kopf ruht zwischen Stephans Halsbeuge und Brust und wenn er sich etwas streckt, berührt seine Nasenspitze Stephans Hals, während er seinen rechten Arm so gut es geht um den warmen Körper seines Freundes geschlungen hat. Stephans Brust vibriert, als dieser leise lacht und seinen freien Arm ebenso um ihn legt. Fest und warm spürt er die Hand seines Freundes auf seinem Rücken und kann das zufriedene Brummen nicht zurückhalten, während er seine Augen abermals schließt.
„Rutsch mal n' bisschen rüber“, sagt Stephan ruhig, aber bestimmt, während er versucht, seinen rechten Arm unter Andreas hervorzuziehen. Andreas nimmt das zum Anlass, sich noch weiter auf ihn zu schieben, sodass er letztlich komplett auf ihm liegt.
Es ist kein Geheimnis, dass ihm Körperkontakt wichtig ist – dass er ihn aber regelrecht braucht, um sich nach einem anstrengenden Wettkampftag zu sammeln, überrascht ihn selbst immer wieder. Immer, wenn alles um ihn herum laut wird, er im Mittelpunkt des Geschehens steht und ein Interview nach dem anderen gibt, ertappt er sich dabei, wie in ihm die Sehnsucht nach einem Ruhepol aufkommt. Nach jemandem, der ihn im Hier und Jetzt hält, auf den er seinen ganzen Fokus richten kann. Dass er in Stephan eine Person gefunden hat, die genau das für ihn ist, lässt sein Herz noch immer höher schlagen. Von Stephan umarmt zu werden, ihn dicht an sich zu spüren, ist mit nichts auf der Welt vergleichbar. Andreas hat schon unzählige Menschen berührt, platonisch und weit darüber hinaus, aber bei niemandem fühlt er sich so gelöst und angekommen wie bei Stephan.
Der hat inzwischen seine frei gewordene Hand in Andreas' Haaren vergraben und massiert mit den Fingerspitzen sacht seinen Kopf. Mit jeder Bewegung spürt Andreas, wie die Anspannung des Tages Stück für Stück von ihm abfällt. Er selbst festigt den Griff um seinen Freund und konzentriert sich voll und ganz auf das wohlige Gefühl, das sich in ihm ausbreitet.
Andreas hat jegliches Zeitgefühl verloren, als er schließlich langsam blinzelnd seine Augen öffnet, den Kopf hebt und aufsieht. Stephans Blick ist noch immer unglaublich warm. Seine dunklen Augen beobachten ihn aufmerksam, während sich feine Fältchen um diese herum gebildet haben. Die Muttermale auf seiner Wange tanzen, als sich ein liebevolles Lächeln auf seine Lippen legt und sich eine feine Röte auf seinem Gesicht ausbreitet. Auch nach so langer Zeit wirkt er noch immer ungläubig und etwas peinlich berührt, wenn Andreas seinen Blick nicht von ihm abwenden kann.
„Hey“, murmelt Andreas schließlich und räuspert sich, weil seine Stimme rauer klingt, als sie es sein sollte. Er schiebt sich etwas nach oben und drückt Stephan einen federleichten Kuss auf den Mundwinkel.
Stephans Blick ruht interessiert auf ihm, „alles okay?“
Andreas hält inne und hört in sich hinein – aber außer Entspannung und Ruhe ist da nichts mehr. Keine Stimmen, kein Trubel. Er nickt schließlich. „Ja“, lautet die schlichte Antwort. Stephans Mundwinkel zucken leicht. Andreas weiß, dass dieser jetzt am liebsten noch einmal nachhaken würde, sich das aber verkneift. Deswegen schiebt er ein „wirklich, ich fühl' mich gut“ hinterher und rutscht schließlich von Stephan hinunter, bis er dicht neben ihm sitzt. Seine Hand hat die seines Freundes dabei fest umschlossen, während Andreas ihn vorsichtig anlächelt.
„Ohne dich wär's heute zu viel gewesen“, gibt er schließlich zu, „deswegen danke, dass du da bist. Das alles geht nur, weil du da bist.“ Seine Stimme ist fest und er weiß, dass es kitschig klingt, aber letztlich ist es nur eine Feststellung. Andreas weiß, wie es sich anfühlt, wenn Stephan nicht an seiner Seite ist. Deswegen ist er umso dankbarer, jetzt hier mit ihm und vor allem bei ihm zu sein. „Ich will das", setzt er nach, weil es die Wahrheit ist. Er will den Trubel, die Aufmerksamkeit, die Siege und die knappen Niederlagen und vor allem will er diese Vierschanzentournee gewinnen. Er will alles, auch wenn ihn das manchmal an seine Grenzen bringt.
Stephan mustert ihn eindringlich und schnaubt kurz auf. „Andi - es ist okay, wenn nicht alles in Ordnung ist, das weißt du?“ Andreas nickt nur stumm und etwas hilflos, während er bemerkt, wie unter dem intensiven Blick die Hitze in seinem Gesicht aufsteigt.
„Du packst das. Schließlich bist du dafür geboren“, zitiert Stephan sich selbst und schmunzelt dabei. „Das Interview hab' ich vorhin gesehen, gut zu wissen, dass ich bewundert werde“, steigt Andreas sofort mit ein und stupst sein Gegenüber spielerisch mit der Schulter an. Stephan zuckt daraufhin nur mit den Schultern und versucht, ernst zu bleiben. „Hätte schlecht was anderes sagen können.“ In seinen Augen blitzt der Schalk, während er seine Hand aus Andreas' Umklammerung löst und schließlich seine Arme vor der Brust verschränkt. Seine Mundwinkel zittern verräterisch und es dauert nicht lange, bis er das Lachen nicht länger zurückhalten kann. Andreas kann nicht anders, als mit einzustimmen. Hell und befreit bricht es aus ihm heraus und er kommt nicht umhin zu denken, dass Stefan wirklich das Beste ist, was ihm jemals passiert ist.
Es dauert eine Weile, bis aus dem Lachen ein Glucksen wird, beide schließlich verstummen und sich angrinsen. Von der vorherigen Anspannung ist nichts mehr übrig und Andreas spürt, wie sich eine tiefe Dankbarkeit in ihm ausbreitet. Mit Stephan kann er alles sein, egal ob ernst oder albern. Er muss sich weder für seine überschüssige Energie noch für die Melancholie, die sich nach solchen Tagen über ihn legt, entschuldigen oder erklären. Selbst die Stille, die sich nun zwischen sie gelegt hat, fühlt sich nach Geborgenheit an.
Stephan räuspert sich schließlich und nickt in Richtung Bad, „hab vorhin übrigens die Dusche für dich vorbereitet – dein Lieblingshandtuch und das Entspannungsduschgel liegen bereit.“
Zum wiederholten Mal an diesem Abend setzt Andreas' Herz einen Schlag aus.
„Ich liebe dich.“
Ohne eine Antwort abzuwarten, greift er wieder nach Stephans Hand und drückt einen sanften Kuss auf dessen Handgelenk, genau dort, wo der Puls schlägt. Dann lässt er ihre Hände in seinen Schoss sinken, während Stephan ihn mit leicht geöffneten Lippen und einem Funkeln in den Augen ansieht.
„Kommst du mit ins Bad?“, durchbricht Andreas das Schweigen rasch, während er Stephans Hand leicht drückt. Erwartungsvoll blickt er seinen Freund an, den Kopf hat er dabei etwas schief gelegt.
„Du spielst unfair“, antwortet Stephan nach kurzer Zeit mit belegter Stimme, während Andreas seine Unterlippe leicht nach vorne schiebt, was sein Gegenüber wie erwartet grinsen und schließlich nicken lässt.
Enthusiastisch und etwas ungeschickt steigt Andreas aus dem Bett und zieht einen überrumpelten Stephan dabei mit sich, sodass dieser gegen ihn stolpert. Reflexartig schließt Andreas seine Arme um den anderen, um sie beide zu stabilisieren. Stephans Hände liegen fest und schwer auf seiner Hüfte, während sie so dicht voreinander stehen, dass Andreas Stephans warmen Atem spürt.
Sein Blick huscht über das ihm so bekannte Gesicht und Andreas verliert sich einmal mehr in dem Gedanken, wie schön sein Freund tatsächlich ist. Als Stephan sich etwas von ihm wegdrückt, festigt Andreas seinen Griff instinktiv, nicht bereit, die Nähe zwischen ihnen aufzugeben. Stephan scheint das gar nicht zu bemerken, stattdessen sieht er ihm voller Zuneigung in die Augen, dann streckt er sich etwas und verschließt ihre Lippen zu einem sanften Kuss miteinander.
„Ich liebe dich auch“, murmelt er gegen Andreas' Lippen.
Die Endorphine jagen durch seine Adern, das Glück breitet sich schwallartig in jeder Faser seines Körpers aus, bis da nichts mehr außer Stephan ist. Stephan, dessen Herzschlag er an seiner eigenen Brust spürt, stark und gleichmäßig und unglaublich vertraut. Stephans Hände, die inzwischen langsam, beinahe suchend über seinen Rücken wandern und unter denen er sich so sicher wie nirgends sonst fühlt. Stephan, der ihn immer noch behutsam küsst und dabei leise aufseufzt. Alles fühlt sich unfassbar intim an und Andreas spürt das Verlangen nach mehr, näher, intensiver in sich aufsteigen. Ehe er dem Drang allerdings nachgeben kann, hat Stephan ihren Kuss gelöst und schiebt ihn stattdessen bestimmt in das angrenzende Badezimmer. Wie so oft scheint er zu wissen, was Andreas fühlt, was er braucht, ohne dass sie ein Wort darüber verlieren müssen.
Zum zweiten Mal an diesem Abend fällt eine Tür mit einem leisen Klicken hinter Andreas ins Schloss und zum zweiten Mal lehnt er mit geschlossenen Augen an dieser. Sein Kopf allerdings ist herrlich leer und alles, was er spürt, ist Stephan.
Stephan Leyhe/Andreas Wellinger - “Like A Fairytale” (fanfic)
okay, this is happening. this is a thing that i wrote that is 9k words long and i am kind of freaking out. i have never written anything in these dimensions before and i’m more nervous than i should be over a fanfic. this is the complete version, even though i already put part one in a different post. but i thought hey, now that it’s done, might as well post the whole thing. this took ages and i probably could’ve drawn this out to be even longer, but i really wanted it online by the end of the season, so here we are! once again, content warnings are in the tags and also once again, i advise you to not spoiler yourself with them. i would never put anything too graphic in my fics! it would mean the world to me if you told me whether you enjoyed this (or if you thought it sucked, idc). have fun and i am possibly sorry in advance. enjoy!
„Alright boys, hit it. Four in this car, three in the other. Play rock paper scissors or whatever, I genuinely do not care. Meet you back at the hotel.”
With that, Horngacher hands Severin the car keys, then turns around and marches towards the building that hosts the big-boss conference. Which isn’t actually a thing. It’s just what Andi has been calling the meeting of the coaches and the officials and god knows who else is attending in his head because he has absolutely no clue what they will be discussing. Not that he particularly cares.
“I’m calling shotgun!” Constantin immediately sprints towards the passenger side of the closest car, cheering as he opens the door, already pulling up Spotify on his phone and connecting it to the AUX cable. He did two amazing jumps earlier and apparently the adrenaline still hasn’t left his system, which means: A lot of bad 2010 pop songs during the car ride and a singing Consti in the passenger seat.
Andi’s always up for that party.
“I’m driving the baby,” he announces, snatching the car keys from Severin. “Not a baby!” Constantin yells distractedly through the open passenger door, scrolling through his playlist. “Thanks, but I’ll pass,” Karl says, grabbing the keys to the other car out of Severin’s hand and making his way to the driver’s side.
While the others discuss the rest of the car ride arrangement, Andi takes a step closer to Stephan, who’s been uncharacteristically quiet since the competition, even for him. They’re used to Stephan being the perfect picture of quiet contentment after a solid performance, but it’s usually accompanied by a soft smile and a quick laugh at his teammate’s jokes.
Today, there are lines on Stephan’s forehead and Andi doesn’t like it.
“You alright?” he asks quietly, standing directly in front of his best friend. Stephan looks up at him and nods. “Just a headache,” he says, managing a tired smile. “I’m gonna skip the carpool karaoke, though. Seems kind of counterproductive.” Andi nods in agreement, maintaining eye contact. “I can drive with you, if you want?”
Stephan’s smile turns a bit more genuine. He pats Andi’s side in a grateful gesture. “Sweet of you to offer,” he says, “but you did great today and I know how much you actually enjoy singing along to One Direction in the car with Consti. Go on. Drive safely.” “We listened to One Direction once-“ Andi starts to protest, but stops mid-sentence when Stephan’s eyes crinkle with laughter. “Whatever you say, sunshine. See you back at the hotel? We could-“ Stephan stops himself, carefully schooling his face into a more neutral expression. “We could grab something to eat and- and read? For a bit? If you didn’t have any other plans, that is.”
Instead of an answer, Andi’s hands go up to fix the neckline of Stephan’s jacket. He’s impressed Stephan has worked up the courage to ask – not to read his book, not exactly, because that seems to have become a codeword for the weird little routine they have fallen into sometime in the middle of the season. It went a little bit like this: Stephan (loving to read) couldn’t find a comfortable reading position on the, admittedly terrible, hotel beds in Innsbruck. Andi (loving physical contact) opened his arms and let Stephan use him as a pillow and also as a book stand.
It works. They’ve spent most of their evenings like this since then; Andi dozing off or watching a show on his tablet with earphones in, Stephan snuggled into his side, reading quietly, even though he never asks for it. Andi’s aware the older doesn’t like to ask for things, which is why they don’t talk about it. Andi wordlessly opens his arms, Stephan carefully places himself at Andi’s side with a content sigh and that’s the end of it.
Which is exactly the reason why Andi’s getting wary about Stephan’s “just a headache.” If Stephan’s desperate enough to ask for a quiet evening with him, then that’s telling him a lot about his teammate’s state of exhaustion. So what’s he gonna do? Say no?
“Of course we can,” he says softly, “whatever you want. Meet you at the hotel.” Andi leans down, presses a quick kiss to Stephan’s check and looks back at the others, who seem to have come to a decision. Markus skips over to them, slings an arm around Andi’s shoulders and starts pulling him in direction of the car. “Let’s go, Welle. Get ready to fight Consti over the music choice.” Markus climbs into the backseat while Constantin channels his inner Celine Dion with “It’s All Coming Back To Me Now.” Pius and Severin collect Stephan and make their way to Karl, who is already waiting in the car, ready to go. Stephan looks back over his shoulder at Andi, who winks.
“We’ll be at the hotel first!” he calls after them. Stephan laughs and Severin turns around. “Of course you will,” he deadpans. “Karl is driving. He’s slower than Pius in the inrun.” “Now hold on a second-“ Pius protests and shoves Severin against the car. The oldest laughs and opens the door, climbing into the backseat. The rest of their conversation is drowned out by Constantin’s and Markus’ singing as Andi occupies the driver’s side, adjusting the seat to his long legs.
“There were nights of endless pleasure-“ Constantin yells dramatically.
“-it was more than all your laws allow!” Markus continues, grabbing Consti’s shoulders from the seat behind him. Andi laughs and starts the car, joining in with the chorus.
“Baby, baby, baby when you touch me like this-“
X
It’s a lot quieter in the other car. Karl is softly humming along to whatever song’s on the radio. Severin and Pius are still busy discussing the mystery of Pius’ non-existent inrun speed in the backseat. Stephan rests his head against the window and sighs, eyes closed.
Karl looks at him briefly. “You okay, Stephan?” he asks, turning his attention back to the road, even though the streets are pretty deserted. Karl has always been the most careful driver out of all of them, and with the snow and ice on the road he’s driving extra slowly. Stephan doesn’t mind.
“I’m good,” he answers and opens his eyes to look at the snow-covered fields around them, the trees beyond also decked with white. Their hotel is a good thirty-minute drive from the hill, but the scenery has something magical about it, like something out of a fairy tale. “It’s just a headache,” he repeats what he told Andi earlier. Karl raises an eyebrow.
“I’ve got some aspirin, if you want,” Pius pipes up from behind Stephan, sneaking a hand through the gap between headrest and window to squeeze Stephan’s shoulder. “I think I’ll manage for now,” Stephan declines and reaches up to pat Pius’ hand. “Thank you, though. Maybe I’ll come back to you later.”
He doesn’t add that a quiet afternoon with Andi and his book is probably going to be more helpful than all the aspirin in the world. He’s been particularly stressed before today’s competition, although he can’t quite put his finger on why that is. He woke up in the morning with an uncomfortable pressure behind his eyes, despite getting a full eight hours of sleep. His jumps were good, or so he’s been told, but the usual feeling of satisfaction and accomplishment just wouldn’t set in. Instead, the headache has been getting worse and Stephan just really, really wants his bed, his book, and Andi’s arms.
He’s not going to get what he wants.
X
“-and when you smile at the ground it ain’t hard to tell, you don’t know, oh-oh! You don’t know you’re beautiful, oh-oh!”
“That’s what makes you beautiful!” Constantin finishes, air-drumming the final beats of the song. Markus shakes his head in the backseat. “I can’t believe I let you play One Direction in this car,” he sighs. Constantin turns in his seat to beam at the older. “That’s because you love me.”
“Unfortunately.”
Andi snorts. “I don’t care how much you two love each other; we do not tell Stephan that we sang One Direction in the car.”
“Oh, I will tell Stephan you guys sang One Direction in the car. I was just a victim. Dammit, I should’ve recorded this,” Markus says, putting his face in his hands. “As evidence.”
“With what?” Consti laughs. “You never take your phone anywhere! Remember when you got into an argument with- who was it? One of the Austrians? You got in the car with them and drove to their hotel because you were so busy with talking!”
Markus opens his mouth, then shuts it. “That,” he explains carefully, “was one time. I’ll have you know it was a very intense battle of me and Krafti against Michi Hayböck, the freaking Barca fan. Imagine thinking ter Stegen is a better keeper than Neuer. Utterly delusional.”
Andi looks at him in the rearview mirror. “No one was able to reach you for three hours,” he deadpans. “Karl was literally about to call the police because you didn’t answer your damn phone. We thought you were kidnapped or something.”
“They’d bring him back voluntarily,” Constantin mumbles while he scrolls through his playlist. “Fifteen minutes, max.”
Andi laughs as Markus leans forward between the two front seats and smacks the youngest with his beanie. “Listen, you little shit,” he starts, “it would be a delight to kidnap me. You would be the one they’d want to get rid of because of your questionable taste in mus- Andi watch out!”
It’s too late.
Wrong lane, Andi thinks, staring right into the headlights of an approaching truck. That vehicle is not supposed to be there.
Yanking the steering wheel to the right is a reflex, not a conscious decision.
The snow is pretty, Andi thinks as they go flying off the road. The trees are covered with it. Kind of like a fairy tale.
The sound of their car crashing against a tree is the last thing he hears for a while.
X
Someone’s knocking on the door to their hotel room. Stephan’s halfway through undressing in order to take a shower, so he quickly grabs a shirt off the bed and pulls it over his head. Probably Andi, he thinks. Forgot his keys again. Wouldn’t be the first time.
When they’d arrived at the hotel earlier, they’d wondered how the hell they’d made it there before the others. Karl had taken it as an opportunity to defend his driving skills. Severin had figured the others got so distracted by the carpool karaoke that Andi took a wrong turn somewhere. Wouldn’t be the first time, either.
When Stephan opens the door, however, he’s met with a mildly distressed looking Karl. Stephan raises an eyebrow. “Are you-“
“Have you heard from the others?” Karl interrupts him, grip tight around his phone.
“Uh, no? Should I have?”
Karl bites his lower lip. “I’m getting worried,” he admits. “We’ve been here for a good forty minutes already, and you’re telling me Welle took that many wrong turns?”
That is, admittedly, somewhat unusual. Neither Andi, nor Consti or Markus have the best sense of direction, but so far Andi has always texted or called or somehow let anyone know he got lost. Markus is another story entirely but knowing him, his phone is probably placed uselessly on his nightstand. Stephan’s headache intensifies.
“They’ll be fine!” Severin yells from down the hall.
Karl frowns in the general direction of Severin’s voice, then turns back to Stephan. “I just have a feeling. Eisei’s phone is in our room. Will you please call Andi? He always answers when you call.”
That’s true. Andi does always answer when it’s Stephan who’s calling. Stephan is convinced it’s because Andi knows he’d never call him without a good reason. The others think a bit differently, but they don’t tell him that.
Stephan leaves Karl standing in the hallway and goes to retrieve his phone from his bed. “Have you tried calling Andi or Consti?” he calls back to Karl, who nods. Severin appears next to Karl, Pius right behind him. Stephan pulls up Andi’s contact and presses call. There’s a weird feeling in his chest, something he can’t quite place. Even his headache dulls in comparison.
It’s fine, he tells himself. Karl is being paranoid. There’s no reason to assume anything bad has happened. They’re just a little later than usual. So what? Knowing those three, they probably stopped somewhere to have a snowball fight.
The pressure on his chest grows stronger with every dial tone. Pius is holding his phone to his ear as well. “Consti,” he mouths, then shakes his head when no one answers the call.
“This is the voicemail of Andi Wellinger. Please leave a me-“
Stephan hangs up.
X
When Andi wakes up, his first thought is that he’s cold, incredibly so. His teeth are chattering and he’s shaking all over - possibly because there is snow inside the car, falling in through the massive hole in the windshield.
Wait, what?
It comes back in pieces. The bright headlights of the truck on the wrong side of the road, the momentum of the car flying into the snowy ditch by the side of the street pressing him back into his seat, the whiplash of the impact throwing him forward against the dashboard.
Andi can feel the ache in his neck. He doesn’t dare move for a few seconds and has to force himself to keep his breathing under control. Panicking won’t help. He carefully wiggles his fingers and toes, relieved when he can feel them move despite the cold. His shaky exhale comes out in a cloud and fogs up the driver’s side window.
“Andi?”
Slowly, Andi turns his head to the right. His neck protests at the movement, but the pain quickly fades into the background when he catches sight of Constantin. There are tear tracks on the younger’s face, eyes red and wide. He looks terrified.
Andi clears his throat, eyes roaming over the other’s body to check for visible injuries. “You hurt?” he asks, voice rough. Consti closes his eyes, pressing his lips together as fresh tears start coming.
“You were unconscious and you didn’t wake up and I tried, I tried to get you to talk to me but you didn’t and-“
“Constantin. Are. You. Hurt.”
Consti shakes his head. “My shoulder hurts and I can’t move my right arm too much. Despite that I’m- I’m okay. But Markus-“
Andi doesn’t let him finish that sentence, fumbles to remove his seatbelt and gingerly turns around in his seat. His breathing catches when he sees the older in the backseat, slumped against the window, the right side of his face covered in blood.
No. No no no no no.
“Fuck,” he curses, trying to reach his teammate to feel for a pulse. Panic makes the movement frantic and pain shoots through his ribs, a sharp, electric stab like a knife in his lungs. His vision darkens for a second and slowly, he leans back against his seat, attempting to breathe through it. “Markus,” he tries as soon as the pain subsides, voice breaking. “Hey, Eisei. Come on. Wake up.”
“I tried that,” Constantin says quietly. “It’s not working. Something’s wrong.” The younger’s left hand is gripping his right arm tightly, trying to minimize the movement of his shoulder. Andi reaches out and rests his hand on Consti’s thigh, squeezing lightly. “How long do you think were we out?”
Constantin attempts a shaky smile. “About thirty minutes, maybe? I wasn’t, though. Out.”
Andi blanks for a second. His grip on Consti’s thigh tightens. “You were- You were conscious this whole time?”
Consti nods, lips pressed together. He carefully removes his left hand from his right elbow to take Andi’s hand in his, holding on tightly. “I was… kind of dazed, I think? For a couple of minutes. And then- neither of you were waking up, you know? No matter how hard I tried, you didn’t react and I- I thought-“ He stops himself. “I didn’t hit my head too badly because you- you threw your arm across my chest right when we flew off the road. It kept me from crashing against the dashboard.”
Andi’s eyes widen. “I did?” He doesn’t remember. He vaguely recalls tightening his grip on the steering wheel in a desperate attempt to hold the car stable, but he doesn’t remember giving up control over the car in favour of protecting his younger teammate.
“You did,” Consti replies softly. “Thank you. For that. But we need to-“ He inhales shakily, trying to keep his composure. “We need to help Markus.”
Andi looks back at Markus and tries not to flinch at the sight of all the blood. The older’s face is pale, lips turning blue. We need to get him out, Andi realizes. Now. And Consti and me too, or we’ll freeze.
Or something worse will happen to Markus, a little voice in his head tells him. If it hasn’t already.
Andi ignores it.
“Phone,” he says urgently. “Consti, where’s your phone?”
Constantin lifts his shoulders in a helpless gesture and hisses when he remembers his right one. “It’s not in here. Must’ve gotten catapulted out of the car on impact. I can’t get out on my side, there’s too much snow. The door won’t open and…,” his voice gets quieter towards the end. “Barely anyone has driven by since this happened. Three cars total, maybe, and we’re too far from the road for them to notice.”
“Fuck, okay. Mine’s in my- in my front pocket, let me just-“ Andi pauses when he catches sight of something next to the gas pedal. No, he thinks, no, no, please. He quickly leans down to grab his phone, ribs screaming at the sudden movement. Constantin looks at him with wide eyes. “Shit Andi, are you okay?”
“Ribs,” Andi pants, “and neck. I’m okay, but this is…”
He holds up his phone, screen cracked and essentially snapped in half. “New plan,” he says, catching Consti’s eye. “We need to get out of here and make sure Markus is-“
Not dead.
He swallows around the lump in his throat before he continues. “Make sure Markus is okay. And then we look for your damn phone. Think you can do that?”
Constantin nods, pale but determined.
“Let’s go.”
X
Karl has been pacing the length of the room for the past fifteen minutes and it’s driving Stephan nuts.
It’s not like he doesn’t get it, because he does. There’s a nervous humming in his whole body, a restlessness that tells him to get up, throw something, punch the wall, anything.
Instead, he’s been sitting on the edge of the bed this whole time, back straight, staring out the window at nothing in particular. The snowfall has picked up a while ago, which doesn’t reassure Stephan in the slightest. It’s been close to two hours since they arrived at the hotel, still no trace of the others. Pius has been checking the local news for reports of any accidents every two minutes, but nothing turned up.
Which is good, Stephan supposes, but it’s not exactly helpful either. They’re still missing. Andi is still missing.
The thought brings the humming inside him to a maximum until his hands start shaking and he feels like throwing up. There’s an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into someone’s side – Severin, who doesn’t look as unconcerned anymore as he did earlier. Karl is still pacing.
“Will you stop that?” Stephan snaps and immediately feels bad when Karl freezes on the spot. “Sorry,” he apologizes and drops his head in his hands. The headache has been getting worse. A thrumming had started behind his eyes as he’d called Andi again and again and again until Severin had carefully taken Stephan’s phone from his hands and refused to give it back. “I’m on phone duty,” the oldest had said. “Take a break, Stephan. I’ll answer when he calls.”
When he calls. Not if. When. Stephan clings to that little word.
“Pius,” he says quietly without looking up, “I’d take that aspirin now, if the offer still stands.” Not that he thinks it’ll help. The only one he knows could help him for sure is god knows where. Not here. Not where he should be. Pius nods and attempts a small smile at Stephan, but it falls flat, so he leaves to get the aspirin from his room.
“We should call the police,” Karl suggests, not for the first time this afternoon, sliding down the wall and hugging his knees to his chest. Severin sighs, still holding Stephan close to his side, and rubs his arm up and down in an attempt at comfort. Stephan tries to feel comforted. He fails.
“The police won’t do anything,” Severin answers, also not for the first time today. Even if his replies are patient, his voice has been getting more tense every time Karl brings up involving the police. “They’re grown adults and we don’t have anything that would lead the police to believe something has happened besides your bad feeling, Karl, and our word that this is highly unusual for the guys. They won’t help.”
“We should’ve driven back when it was still light out,” Pius says softly as he returns to the room and hands Stephan the aspirin. He goes back to leaning against the window, where the sun is barely visible on the horizon.
“Too late for that now,” Stephan mumbles, and he hates every word. Why didn’t they drive back to look for them? Why did they spent the last hour sitting around uselessly, worrying more and more with every passing minute?
Because stuff like this doesn’t happen, Stephan tells himself. Not in real life anyways. This would be a tragic plot point in a novel. An unforeseen twist in a romcom, at the end of which the two protagonists happily reunite under tears in the hospital, both safe and sound. It’s not something that happened to people he knows. People he cares about. Someone he loves.
But the blissful bubble of denial burst a long time ago, and Stephan is slowly starting to expect the worst. And judging from Karl’s curled up position against the wall, Pius’ frown reflected in the window and Severin’s tightening grip on his arm, so are they.
X
“I’m going to crawl in behind the driver’s seat and get him out from this side, alright? I’ll need your help with his legs, though. I can try and protect his head, but I can’t carry him alone like this.”
Constantin nods, then frowns, still holding his right arm. “Are you sure you can get him out with your ribs and all that? I don’t want you to get hurt any more. Maybe I should do it.”
“Better my ribs than your arm,” Andi mumbles, too quietly for Constantin to hear, then takes a deep breath and begins to climb into the backseat. If he’s being honest, he isn’t exactly sure about the extent of his injuries. His neck seems to be doing okay as long as he moves his head slowly, but his ribs are a completely different story. It hurts to breathe, it hurts to move, and Andi can only hope none of them are broken. He also must’ve tried to slam the brakes at some point during the crash, because in the attempt of getting out of the car himself, his right foot had given out more often than he’d like to admit.
He doesn’t tell Constantin that. The younger seems to have avoided any major injuries, but his shoulder had given him more than enough trouble when he’d climbed out of the driver’s side of the car. And with his right arm essentially useless, Andi sure as hell isn’t going to make him pull Markus out of the wreck. His ribs would have to manage.
Their oldest had certainly taken the worst of it. The blood has dried to an almost blackish colour, which contrasts eerily with the pale white of Markus’ face. As Andi carefully unbuckles Markus’ seatbelt, he sends a quiet thanks to whatever higher power is listening that the window Markus is slumped against didn’t break on impact. He’s not too keen on pulling glass shards out of Markus’ eye. Andi slowly maneuvers the smaller man onto his lap and winces when his ribs protest. “Consti,” he pants, “take his legs. And then move backwards – slowly – until I can put down his head once he’s outside.”
Constantin makes a vaguely confirming noise and gathers Markus’ legs against his left side, trapping them between his body and his left arm. Andi puts one hand around Markus’ shoulders, the other under his head and tries to hold him steady. There’s blood coating his left hand and even though he’s never had a problem with seeing blood - He was a clumsy, lanky kid. There were a lot of skinned knees and various wounds in his childhood – this is a vastly different situation. This isn’t a paper cut. This is a possibly fatal wound to the head. One of his best friends’ heads. And the blood is on his hands, literally and- figuratively too, Andi realizes as he looks down at Markus’ pale face. He drove the car. It was him behind the steering wheel. It was him who landed them in a ditch against a tree. Maybe, if he’d paid more attention, he would’ve seen the truck earlier and he could’ve… he doesn’t know. Done something that didn’t end with Markus bloody and concussed and unconscious.
The world tilts before his eyes.
“Welli?” Constantin’s voice reaches him through the fog in his head. “Not to rush you or anything, but Eisei’s legs are getting kind of heavy.”
Andi blinks away the tears and shoves down the panic that threatens to climb up his throat. “I got him,” he replies and slowly, so very slowly they pull Markus out of the car. He’s their smallest teammate, but the unconsciousness makes him heavy, like dead weight between them.
This must be what carrying a body feels like, Andi realizes and immediately regrets the thought because now, the image is stuck in his head.
Together, they carefully lower Markus to the ground. Andi’s ribs burn at the exertion and a sharp twinge shoots up his leg when he tries to step on his right foot, but he somehow manages to sink down to the ground on his left leg and prop himself up against the car, Markus’ head bedded on his lap. Thank his therapists for the hundreds of single-leg-squats they made him do in rehab.
The second their oldest is safely on the ground Constantin is on his knees beside him, pressing two fingers to Markus’ neck. Andi forgets how to breathe.
“There’s a pulse,” Constantin exhales shakily, “but I can barely feel it. He’s cold, he’s- isn’t there a blanket in the car?” He pushes himself to his feet and hastily goes to open the trunk, but Andi still catches sight of the tears in the younger’s eyes.
He checks for a pulse, too, because he needs the reassurance that Markus is alive and when he watches closely, he can see the older’s chest moving up and down with slow breaths.
The relief is bittersweet and doesn’t last long. The panic he’s tried so hard to shove down washes over him like a wave and suddenly, all he can feel is Markus’ head on his lap and the blood on his hands.
Andi is completely out of his depths. His knowledge of head injuries is very much limited to the time Karl walked square into a glass door, which resulted in a mild headache and a purple bruise on his forehead. Andi’s only task then was to get the older an ice pack and some ibuprofen.
He’s confident neither of those things will help Markus now.
Constantin returns with a blanket and starts wrapping it around the unconscious man on the ground, tucking it around his body and prodding at him to make sure he’s all covered. The younger’s eyes keep flickering up to Markus’ face, monitoring him closely. “How bad do you think it is? That he’s not waking up?”
It takes Andi a moment to snap out of it and realise Constantin is talking to him. The younger is looking at him expectantly, all-wide eyed and anxious and Andi desperately wishes for one of their older teammates to be here. Preferably conscious. “He’s breathing,” he says in lieu of an actual answer. “That’s better than- than if he were not breathing. It can’t be that bad if he’s still breathing.” It sounds stupid even to his own ears and Constantin shoots him a deadpan look from where he’s sitting next to them, holding onto Markus’ hand under the blanket. “Delightful analysis, Sherlock. But you’re not wrong, I guess. Can we just leave him here while we search for my phone, though? What if he, like, stops breathing and we’re not here to notice?”
Andi’s stomach turns at the thought of getting up again. The pain in his chest has faded into a dull ache a while ago, which makes it much easier to get distracted by his throbbing ankle. He attempts a smile at Consti and hopes the younger doesn’t notice how shaky it is. “Eisei would quite literally kill us if we stayed down here in the snow just to monitor his breathing. Finding that phone is our only shot at getting help. Greater chance at finding it when it’s both of us looking for it.”
“True,” Constantin answers, then stands up and looks down at Markus. “But I still don’t like it.”
Together, they carefully lift Markus’ head from Andi’s lap and bed it on his backpack. Consti adjusts the blanket, then holds out his left hand to help Andi up from the ground and frowns at the pained noise he makes as he pulls himself onto his feet. “You sure you’re doing okay?”
Andi grits his teeth and squeezes Consti’s hand once before letting go, purposefully standing up straighter than his ribs can handle. “Peachy. Let’s find that phone.”
Don’t do this, a voice in his head says as Constantin starts going around the car to look for his phone. The voice is gentle and sounds suspiciously like Stephan. Don’t pretend you’re fine when you’re not. Tell Constantin. Take care of Markus.
Don’t tell me what to do. Like you’re any better with your headache. You didn’t tell anyone either.
That’s different. You should sit down. Walking isn’t going very well.
The Stephan in his head is right. The world starts swimming the moment Andi puts weight on his right foot and he doesn’t even make it two steps. The time he’s spent sitting on the ground hasn’t done anything for him – quite the contrary, actually. His legs are shaking beneath him, barely supporting his weight. Andi becomes acutely aware of the cold. His vision goes blurry for a second and he has to grab the car to hold him up. Constantin seems to be miles away.
Sit the fuck down, Andreas.
“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!” Andi yells. “Shut UP! I have to find this fucking phone so Markus doesn’t fucking die!”
He vaguely registers Consti’s confused call from the other side of the car and his ankle is throbbing in hot pain while the rest of him is freezing and he’s losing his damn mind-
“Forgot mine on my nightstand, sorry,” someone mumbles and it takes Andi a solid ten seconds to realise it’s Markus, speech slightly slurred and Bavarian dialect thick. “I’d also haunt the shit out of you if I died. After Karl, though. God how fucking funny would it be to haunt him, can you imagine? The man wouldn’t- wouldn‘t sleep another night for the rest of his life-“
Andi collapses onto his knees and feels the impact vibrate painfully in every single one of his injured ribs, but he can’t bring himself to care. He crawls the short distance to Markus, who looks at him with half-lidded eyes, face still white as a sheet. “Don’t move,” Andi chokes out when Markus tries to sit up. “Don’t move. How’s your head?”
Markus’ eyes flutter shut a few times before he manages to keep them open longer than a few seconds. “Terrible,” he whispers, and Andi has to strain to hear him. “Hurts worse than when Sevi sings in the shower.” The older frowns when he notices the tears on Andi’s cheek. He slowly raises a hand to Andi’s face and clumsily attempts to wipe them away, but his movements are jerky and uncoordinated. He misses Andi’s cheek a few times, then seems to decide his arm is too heavy for him to hold up. His eyes close again. “Stay awake,” Andi begs and takes the other’s hand in his own. “Eisei, hey. Tell me more about how you’d haunt Karl.”
Then Constantin stumbles around the car and almost face-plants into the snow. “Are you okay? I heard you yelling, who were you talk- oh my god, is he awake?!” He falls onto his knees on Markus’ other side, who manages to open his eyes long enough to look at the youngest. Consti sobs in relief. “I’d make so many scary noises,” Markus slurs. Constantin looks at Andi in confusion. “Karl hates scary noises. He startles so easily. Like howling at night and rustling his curtains. Do you think I can…” he trails off, eyes falling shut again. “Can what? What, Markus? Stay with us, can you do what?” There’s an edge of desperation in Andi’s voice, because a talking Markus is even better than a breathing Markus because it means consciousness and enough brain function to form sentences and not dead.
“Do you think I can still- still move things when I’m a ghost? No fun if I can’t touch stuff.”
“No one here ends up as a ghost,” Consti says determinedly, aggressively wiping away his own tears with his left hand. “Not today, not tomorrow, not anywhere in the near future. And not on my watch.”
There’s the barest hint of a smile on Markus’ lips as he slowly slips back into unconsciousness. “You’re doing so well,” he whispers. “So well, both of you. Kind of annoying how well you two are. Doing. You two- love you…”
He stops talking. Andi goes very still. Constantin’s face loses all colour.
Markus doesn’t open his eyes again.
X
Stephan is wearing Andi’s shirt.
He hasn’t noticed before, hours ago when he hastily threw on the nearest piece of clothing just so he didn’t have to answer his door half-naked. Hours ago, when he still thought everything was fine.
But the shirt on his body is Andi’s, one size too big for Stephan himself, bottom hem so far down it almost looks like a dress, Andi’s merchandise logo prominent on the chest. It also smells like him.
Somehow, that makes everything worse.
Stephan hasn’t really moved in the past thirty minutes, not in the way the others have. Pius went to get them something to eat a while ago, even though Stephan would rather jump off the balcony than force food down his throat right now. Severin has been periodically trying to reach their coach, but Horngacher doesn’t answer his phone. Still in the conference, moved on to drinking with the other officials, Stephan doesn’t know and doesn’t care.
Karl looks so tense Stephan fears he’s about to snap. Karl is relaxed on most days, occasionally anxious, and scary when he’s mad.
He is terrifying when he’s worried. Which is why Stephan feels a little bit sorry for whatever poor soul that happens to be employed by the local police is on the other end of the line. Karl has been arguing with at least three different police officers in the past twenty minutes, and all Stephan has gathered so far is that yes, they will call as soon as any accidents are reported and no, they can’t send someone out looking for people that aren’t actually missing and sir, please just go to sleep and your friends will probably be back in the morning.
Karl doesn’t shout, because he never does. He calmly thanks police officer number three, who should count his blessings that he’s not in the same room as Karl, then hangs up and motions to throw the phone against the wall.
“Do not,” Stephan says quietly without looking up from the floor. “You don’t want your phone in pieces when they call.”
Pius returns with a couple sandwiches and some fruit. It remains untouched.
Stephan’s head is still swimming. The aspirin has done absolutely nothing for him.
Severin tries to get them to eat something. Karl indulges him and eats half an apple, then throws up ten minutes later in the bathroom. Stephan shakes himself out of the trance he’s been in ever since Karl knocked on their door and follows his teammate into the bathroom.
He might not be able to help the other three, but redirecting his worry at someone present, someone he can touch, is blessedly distracting. So, he rubs circles into Karl’s back as the older kneels on the cold floor, and he fills a cup with water for him to rinse his mouth with. Severin and Pius appear in the bathroom a few minutes later. “You okay, bud?” Severin asks Karl, whose pale face matches the white tiles. “Been better,” he answers, takes a deep breath and hunches in on himself to make his head fit on Stephan’s shoulder.
Stephan leans back against the sink and wraps his arms around his shaking friend in a loose hug. Physical comfort was never his forte. Between the two of them, Andi has always played that part: the tight hugs and firm hands and back rubs and head scratches. Stephan has always been the one to provide comfort with carefully chosen words, but tonight even that seems to fail him.
Severin leans back against the doorframe, head in his hands. “I’m going crazy,” he mumbles and Pius nods in agreement, wrapping his arms around himself. Karl is still clinging to Stephan, whose ever active mind scrambles for something to do besides the endless waiting and hoping.
He comes up empty. He rubs small circles into Karl’s waist with his thumbs. He stands and stares at the shower curtain. He closes his eyes and lets his head rest against Karl when the harsh bathroom light hurts his eyes and intensifies his headache.
Faintly, in the other room, a phone starts ringing.
X
“Pick up pick up pick up-“
“Consti?!”
Andi sees the exact moment all the tension leaves Constantin’s body at the sound of Severin’s voice. The younger closes his eyes and sobs, drowning out the frantic stream of words coming from the other end of the line. Andi carefully grabs Consti’s hand and holds on tight, tears spilling down his cheeks. The flashing lights of the ambulance up by the road cast a blue shadow over both of them and it’s making Andi dizzy.
“Consti, thank God. Hey! Are you guys okay? Constantin! Answer me!” Severin sounds slightly hysterical, which isn’t a tone of voice Andi ever thought he’d hear Severin use. Not their calm, collected Severin.
Constantin takes a deep, shaky breath before he manages to reply. “They took Markus,” he whispers, voice rough and breaking. Andi squeezes his hand. “They took him away to the hospital first because- cause, it’s something with head trauma? And lots of blood. We don’t know how he-. They’re sending a second ambulance for us. Andi is with me, we’re, uh. Really fucking cold, actually. But we’re okay, I think. Mostly.”
Consti looks skeptically at Andi, who gives a confirming nod and attempts a smile, even though he’s feeling the absolute furthest from fine. Moving his head hurts, breathing is getting harder by the minute and he dreads the moment the paramedics come back for them to get them out of the ditch, because that requires getting up. One of them stayed behind and is currently searching through the medical bag to find something to stabilise his ankle with, while the others whisked away Markus as soon as the seriousness of his condition became apparent. They haven’t heard from him since.
There’s a few beats of silence on the other end of the line, then a bit of rustling before Pius’ voice sounds through the speaker, shaky and hoarse. “Consti, what happened? We’re worried sick.”
“Car accident. Some stupid truck driver was driving on the wrong side of the road and Welle didn’t have a chance to react.”
Andi flinches.
“The alternative was crashing head-on into the truck,” Constantin continues, and now that he’s started speaking, he can’t seem to stop. “The road was slippery, too, with all the ice and snow and whatnot-“
Andi’s vision goes dark around the edges.
“- and fuck, Pius, it was- no it’s just my shoulder, I really am okay- yes I’m crying, leave me alone. We haven’t heard from Markus but we’ll ask about him as soon as the other ambulance gets here-“
Someone flips a switch and the air in Andi’s lungs is replaced by a pain so sharp he feels like someone’s stabbed him with a knife, right between his ribs. He sucks in a desperate breath. No oxygen reaches his lungs.
“…we’ll meet you guys at the hospital, then?”
The knife twists.
“- tell Stephan Andi’s okay, he’s alive and- God, he saved me, he- Welle?”
Andi’s grip on Constantin is tight, fingernails buried in the palm of the younger’s hand, so deeply he draws blood. Had there been any oxygen left in his lungs to fuel his brain, he would’ve felt bad. There isn’t, though, so Andi roughly points to his chest and tries to breathe, come on, breathe, but he might as well have been drowning.
“No no no Andi no, hey you! Something’s wrong with him, help! Andi don’t do this to me, not you too, please…someone do something, please! Andi, fuck-“
Andi dimly registers his younger teammate sobbing into the phone; frantic voices talking over each other out of the speaker, but the sounds are muted, like he’s hearing them from under a thick blanket. There’s someone else at his side, pushing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, telling him something he can’t hear. The paramedic, his brain supplies helpfully through the haze of the panic, and Andi manages a last look at Constantin’s horrified face before everything goes black.
X
The fluorescent lights of the hospital hallway are worse than the hotel bathroom lights. Stephan squints against the harsh brightness and tries, once again, to blink the dots out of his vision, which have been there since the phone call came. He feels like he’s on the constant verge of blacking out, lightheaded and with a persistent ringing in his ears, but the universe seems determined to keep him conscious through every torturous second of this horrible, horrible night.
They have been sitting on some uncomfortable chairs designed for waiting and despair for at least forty minutes by now, but no one’s told them anything yet. Karl has gotten up to get coffee three separate times, and each time he’s returned without any cups. Stephan hasn’t spoken a single word since they left the hotel in a hurry to get to the hospital. Severin keeps shooting him worried glances, and Stephan imagines what he must look like in Andi’s oversized merch and a quickly thrown on Germany jacket that’s way too thin for the temperature outside, curled up on two of the chairs, staring at the wall. Not much has happened since Constantin called them and assured them everyone was still alive; except they didn’t know about Markus’ condition. Not much has happened since a tight rope of fear and anxiety and worry had wound its way around Stephan’s heart and squeezed every little ounce of hope out of it when Constantin’s tone had turned from relieved to worried to panicked because apparently, the universe not only needed him to suffer through this consciously, no, it also wanted him to witness the sounds of Andi’s gasping breaths over the phone, unable to do anything except sit frozen on the hotel bed and keep breathing when Andi couldn’t.
A door opens down the hall. Constantin steps out into the hallway, face red and blotchy from crying, right arm in a sling and a blanket around his shoulders. Severin and Pius are up and at his side in an instant, wrapping the youngest in a careful hug and guiding his head to rest on Severin’s shoulder. Constantin clings to Pius’ hoodie like his life depends on it. Stephan feels himself tearing up, too, and when Sevi and Pius bring Consti over to Karl and him, Stephan hugs the younger fiercely.
“You’re shaking,” Constantin whispers against him and tightens his one-armed grip. “Have you heard anything from Andi and Markus?”
Stephan peels himself out of the hug and mutely shakes his head. Karl takes his turn to hug Constantin and when he finally lets go, Severin is there to wipe the tears off Consti’s cheeks. He tucks the youngest into his side after and sits them both down on the hard plastic chairs.
Constantin then recalls the entirety of the accident. He fills them in on every small detail, things Stephan never wants to hear again. Of course Andi would put his arm across the passenger seat in a situation like this. Of course he’d prioritize his teammates well-being over his own. And of course he wouldn’t tell Consti he wasn’t feeling well until he fucking collapsed on the phone for all of them to hear.
Stephan is going to kick his ass once he’s allowed to see him. And once he’s made sure Andi is alive with his own two eyes.
Karl’s leg is bouncing up and down restlessly by the time Constantin finishes. “So Markus is-“ he starts, then trails off. Stephan gets it. Consti does, too. He shrugs helplessly. “He was conscious for a short time and then he- wasn’t anymore. There was so much blood, Karl, I don’t-“
“Are you guys here for Markus Eisenbichler and Andreas Wellinger?”
They haven’t noticed the doctor approaching them, but there he stands, and Stephan unconsciously grabs Karl’s hand to ground himself. The ringing in his ears gets louder. Karl’s face drains of all colour. Constantin looks at the doctor with wide eyes.
Severin, the only one left with enough rational brain cells to communicate, confirms. The doctor trails his eyes over the five of them, lingers on Consti’s sling and beaten up face and apparently decides they look enough like family for him to inform them about their teammates‘ status.
“Markus just came out of surgery for his head trauma. The intracranial pressure wasn’t as high as we’d originally thought, so we didn’t have to put him in a medically induced coma like we’d planned to do. He’s heavily sedated at the moment, though, to give his body the chance to rest. He will likely not wake up for another day. Miraculously, he doesn’t have any other injuries besides harmless bruising from the impact.”
Karl sobs in relief and lets go of Stephan to drop his head into his hands. Pius puts an arm around him and rests his forehead on the younger’s back. Constantin exhales shakily and nods, leaning further into Severin’s side.
The rope around Stephan’s heart loses the tiniest bit, but the pounding in his head doesn’t ease. He stares at the doctor. “What about-,” he starts, clears his throat, voice rough from disuse. “What about Andreas?”
The whole hallway seems to quiet down. The doctor looks at his chart. “Wellinger, yes? He’s also been in surgery with a tension pneumothorax. It’s a miracle, really, how he was able to walk around and breathe this well with four fractured ribs on the right side. He pulled your teammate out of the car, you said?” The doctor looks at Constantin, who nods. “Spectacular. He’s lucky one of the ribs caused the pneumothorax that late. He wouldn’t have made it without the immediate paramedic care. Andreas also shows signs of a whiplash injury and a lateral ligament tear on his right foot. We were able to rule out any kinds of organic bleeding or injuries. He’ll have to take it slow with his ribs and get professional physiotherapeutic care for his foot, but other than that, we expect he will make a full recovery. Both of them,” he adds, “were incredibly lucky. Andreas has woken up shortly after the surgery and immediately asked for one-“ he looks at his chart again, “Stephan Leyhe?”
Stephan’s hands are trembling so badly he has to sit on them to make them stop. “He’s awake already?” he croaks out, barely holding himself together. Constantin’s uninjured hand finds its way to the back of Stephan’s neck and Stephan can feel the massive relief in that one tight squeeze meant to comfort.
“He is awake,” the doctor confirms, then smiles. “Stubborn that one, isn’t he? Refused to let us hook him up to any post-surgery IV until we agreed to bring you to him. If you’d be so kind as to follow me.”
Stephan stands up, catches himself on Karl’s shoulder when the hallway tilts dangerously beneath his shaking legs. Karl steadies him with a quick hand at his waist. Once he’s collected himself enough to stand on his own, he looks down at the others and opens his mouth.
“Nope,” Severin interrupts him before he’s even had the chance to speak. “None of that. He asked for you. Go see him first, it’s alright. We’ll get this one,” he points at Karl, “to go see Eisei and then find some hot chocolate to warm Consti up. You handle Andi best, anyways. We’ll come around later.”
Stephan manages the first smile in hours, and even though it’s small, it’s also genuine. Constantin gets up, too, and hugs him again. Stephan notices how cold their youngest still is and wraps the blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Tell him we’re all here, yes? Tell him I’m okay, thanks to him.” Constantin ponders over that for a moment. “Also tell him he’s stupid and if he scares me like that again I won’t sing One Direction songs with him anymore.”
“You listened to One Direction right before the accident? Of all things-“
Pius’ incredulous voice fades as Stephan follows the doctor down the hall and into the elevator. One floor up, one turn to the left, third door on the right and then there he is, looking small and frail in his hospital gown. The whole team is skinny and lean, yet Andi has always had a way of taking up more space than he needed to with his mega-watt smile and infinite charm. That Andi seems lightyears away now, and as Stephan stands frozen by the side of Andi’s bed, he does something he hasn’t done in a long time.
He sinks into the chair next to the bed and starts crying.
He sobs and weeps and wipes his tears on his jacket, which is useless because they won’t stop coming. There’s a hand on his thigh, squeezing weakly, and only then does he look up and sees a milder version of Andi’s trademark smile. “Don’t cry,” the younger whispers, still slightly out of it from all the surgery medication. “Not- ‘s not worth it. I’m good now.” Andi tries to open his eyes with great effort, successful after attempt number three. “See. All good.” He squints at Stephan, who’s holding his hand with the intention of never letting go. “That’s mine? ‘S that my shirt?”
Stephan nods weakly and guides Andi’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the younger’s knuckles. “I like it when you- when you wear my clothes. Look good in that. Should do that more often.” Slightly more awake now, Andi suddenly frowns. “Is Consti okay? Markus?” He wiggles around in his bed, attempting to sit up, hissing when his ribs painfully remind him he’s been in a car accident. Stephan gently presses him back down into the mattress.
“They’re both fine,” he tells Andi, who relaxes visibly. “They’ll come see you later. The doc said you asked for me?”
Andi nods. “Wanted to know how your head’s doing. Can’t have been the relaxed night you wanted. Has it gotten worse? Should we ring for someone? Maybe they can give you something for the headache.” He looks up at Stephan so earnestly, so innocently concerned, Stephan wants to punch him for daring to be worried about him instead of himself after just having survived a fucking car accident.
He also wants to kiss him.
He keeps that thought to himself.
“It’s better now,” Stephan tells him and can’t help but smile when Andi sighs in relief. “You should sleep, Andreas” he then adds, brushing one of Andi’s locks out of his eyes. Andi has the audacity to pout, even though his eyes are closing on their own account.
“Wanna see Consti and- and the others,” he mumbles quietly. “And won’t you be bored then? Did you- did you bring your book?”
Stephan has to bite his lip to stop himself from crying again. He’s cried enough for the next few years, really. “I’m good, don’t worry,” he whispers back. “I will wake you when the others come.”
Andi seems content with that. “Like Sleeping Beauty,” he breathes before falling asleep entirely.
Stephan presses another kiss to Andi’s hand, still holding it in both of his. He watches Andi’s face closely, still pale but at ease in his sleep.
“Like Sleeping Beauty, yes,” he confirms quietly, even though Andi is already too far gone to hear him. “Like a fairytale.”
Outside, the snow covers the trees in blankets of white.
Of course it is Markus who refuses to behave like a normal person and has to make everything worse. Andreas wants to kick him, but he is sitting at the opposite end of the dinner table and there’s nothing Andreas can do to shut him up.
”You’re older than me,” Stephan crumbles, staring at his birthday cake like it has personally offended him as much as Markus did with his words. It breaks Andreas’ heart a little to see Stephan like that. The team insisted on celebrating Stephan’s birthday, they always do, and Stephan always hates it. He hates being the center of the attention and he especially hates it this year. Andreas wishes the dinner would be over almost as much as Stephan does. They have some private celebrating to do, though Stephan will try to complain about that too. But Andreas won’t listen to his complaints tonight. He will show how sexy and handsome and amazing he thinks his boyfriend is, even if he’s not in his twenties anymore.
“Yes, but I’m not the one having an age crisis,” Markus grins, finding his younger team mate’s foul mood hilarious.
“Shut up, Markus,” Andreas says, and luckily Karl is there to help and proceeds to kick Markus for Andreas. Markus winces but shuts up and doesn’t say anything while Stephan cuts his cake.
The dinner drags on for ages, that’s what it feels like for Andreas anyway. When they are finally done with the cake, Andreas is the first one to jump up from the table.
Markus smirks and opens his mouth, then winces again, when Karl kicks him to stop him from saying anything. Andreas ignores everyone when he rounds the table and holds out his hand for Stephan.
“I’m still able to get up without help,” Stephan mutters but takes his hand anyway.
“I know. You’re just taking too much time to do it,” Andreas smiles. “We have plans.”
“I’m tired.”
“Of course you are,” Andreas rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry. You don’t have to do anything but enjoy. I’ll do all the work.”
Stephan blushes. Andreas smirks.
Karl is now holding his hand over Markus’ mouth to prevent the older man from ruining the moment.
no indefinite timeline and no corona, just a little drabble for the kind anon who requested it 💜
Daniel was humming happily to himself as he walked through the hotel lobby towards the elevator. He had won today's qualification and had a good chance to win the competition tomorrow, so of course, he was in a good mood. The hotel staff locked a bit puzzled at him, probably wondering why one of their guests was practically skipping to the elevator.
But then Daniel didn´t care, because his win today wasn´t the only thing that made him happy. Earlier Domen had sent him a text via WhatsApp, saying that he wanted to meet in Daniels hotel room. Daniel knew what that meant. He and Domen weren´t officially together as the Norwegian was still a little bit scared about coming out to his team. Naturally, Daniel knew that his fear was ill-founded because his teammates were all open-minded. But still, Daniel kept their relationship a secret, wanting to see if their bond was really as strong as he believed and hoped.
When Daniel came to his hotel room, he saw that light was emerging from under the door. This was nothing unusual because they often gave each other their keys to sneak into the other room. So Daniel thought nothing of it and opened the door. There he found indeed Domen, but instead of a happy face, his boyfriend looked sad, dejected. Quickly Daniel hurried over to Domen. It must have happened something or otherwise, Domen wouldn´t have this look on his face.
"Babe, what´s wrong?" Daniel asked and tried to hug Domen. But the Slovenian stepped aside and Daniel grabbed into nothing. Now he was even more confused. What had gotten into Domen? "Hey, what is wrong?" Daniel tried again and Domen snorted angrily. His boyfriend still stayed quiet and Daniel could feel himself becoming irritated. He wanted to know what was wrong so that he could help Domen because seeing his boyfriend like that rained on his parade.
"It´s you!" Domen suddenly yelled, angry eyes finally locking with Daniels. Daniel was taken aback. The eyes that usually sparkled with mischief and tenacity, were steel hard, ice cold. Domen starred at him and Daniel was shocked. What had he done to upset his boyfriend so much? Seeing that Daniel was clearly confused, Domen huffed loudly before he answered, "I am tired of being your dirty little secret!" His voice was loud and Daniel hoped that the walls were thick enough so that no one would hear them. Then, he registered Domen´s words, and realization set in. Their secret relationship was the problem.
Over the past, Domen had told Daniel a few times that he would like to tell his brothers, family, and teammates about their relationship. But Daniel had said no because the fear of losing Domen over the stress of coming out was always swimming in his mind. But Daniel didn´t know that it bothered Domen so much. "You should have said something," he therefore said and tried again to reach out to his boyfriend. This time Domen tolerated the touch on his shoulder. His angry eyes deflated and now he just looked tired. Daniels's heart broke because he knew that he was the person who caused all the tiredness and anger.
"I know that he should have talked to you. But I was scared because I didn´t want to be intrusive and push into a direction you were not okay with," Domen said, voice beginning to quiver. Daniel quickly hugged his boyfriend, not wanting to see Domen cry because that would only break his heart even more. Domen returned the hug fiercely, resting his head against Daniels's shoulder. "I´m sorry that I overreacted. It was just too much for me," Domen whispered and Daniel felt ashamed and guilty. How could he have been so selfish, only thinking of his benefit and not about Domens feelings?
"I am the one who needs to be sorry. I was being selfish. If you want to, we can tell our family and teammates," Daniel said and Domen looked up with wet, hopeful eyes. "Really, are you sure? You don´t have to do this just because I said it," his boyfriend mumbled. Daniel nodded. Domen was right, they should tell their family about their relationship.
"I am sure. I love you just too much to lose over this argument. I was being scared but with you, on my side, I know, that I can do everything," Daniel said and Domen beamed at him with a big wide smile, kissing the corner of Daniels's mouth.
Sorry for the delay in getting this posted, things have gone crazy - so here’s the whole thing because I don’t know when I’ll next get a chance to post.
This is not enough (B. Østvold x A. Aigro x K. Sundal)
So I did a thing. I don´t even know what happened but we ended up here. I listened to a lot of all the things she said so I might have taken a bit of inspiration in this fic. Basically it´s Sundaigro being togehter and Benjamin being the odd one out until he isn´t. I hopy you enjoy this one.
“I know it sucks that Artti is injured but you still have us.” Benjamin sat down next to his teammate und one of his closest friends who was currently pounding on their shared hotel bed. They were in Willingen. One of the best world cups in Benjamins opinion. Amazing atmosphere, great hill. What can one want more?
Apparently, that didn’t apply to his friend Sunny who has been running around the hill like he was on the way to prison. The thing was that Benji got it. Sunny’s boyfriend Artti was injured, and they haven’t had a chance to see each other much in the last month. The bad mood was understandable, but Benjamin still didn’t like seeing him that sad.
Sunny put his head on Benji´s shoulder and sighed. “Sorry, I know I haven’t been great company lately.”
Benjamin wrapped an arm around his teammates shoulder and pulled him closer. “Don’t be sorry, just tell me how I can help.” He couldn’t help himself and moved his thumb in tiny soothing motions over his shoulder. Barely stopping himself when he felt the urge to lay his head on top of Sunnys head.
“Oh, you are doing enough. I can’t ask for more.” It didn’t feel like enough, but he was running out of ideas. Sunny moved his head from Benji´s shoulder and turned to look him in the eyes. “Really Benny, you kept me sane.”
“If you say so.”
The ringing of one their phones interrupted them. The dinner alarm they set up after the first time they missed it because they spent too long talking about nothing at all.
Benjamin was the first one to stand, extending his hand to Sunny. “Maybe a little food will cheer you up.”
“Do we think we can smuggle a glass of wine past Rune?”, Sunny spoke when he took Benji´s hand.
He couldn’t help the cheeky grin that appeared on his face. “Us two? We can do anything together.”
The thing is Benjamin was pretty aware of the fact that he was in love with his best friend. It was not hard to figure out. The jealousy when the other one first got with Artti was very telling. He didn’t know when his feelings evolved into something deeper than friendship. Maybe it was always like that, maybe it was gradually. The only thing that matter was that he felt that way and that he realized it too late. He can’t even blame Sunny for falling for Artti because the Estonian was great. They fit together like puzzle pieces. If he could match two people together, he would’ve chosen them because they were perfect for each other. Even if it hurt himself. So, while Benji was aware that he was in love with Sunny, he was content in the best friend role he was playing. It meant that he could still have him in a way. Not that it was enough but how could he ask for more. It meant that he gained another best friend with Artti because ever since Artti and Sunny got together, Artti and him became close too.
When they got back to their hotel room after dinner, they really got a glass of wine to their meal, Sunny already pulled out his phone and called his boyfriend. “I give you a moment.”, Benji said before Artti even picked up and walked towards the bathroom. He wanted to shower anyways.
“You know you don’t have to.” Kristoffer said before Artti picked up the phone.
Benjamin nodded but still disappeared in the bathroom. He gave himself a moment and rested his head on the bathroom door. Would that be the rest of his life? For a tiny second, he let the thought, that he tried to fight ever since he realized he had fallen for his best friend, in his head. How things were right now, that wasn’t and would never be enough.
“You have approximately thirty seconds before the first jump.”, Artti announced from the couch.
“Not helping. I am going as fast as I can.”, Benjamin replied. Artti could hear some cluttering in Benji´s kitchen, and he couldn’t help but winces. Maybe he shouldn’t have insistent on popcorn.
Just as the first jumper made his way down the hill, Benjamin appeared with a bowl in his hands. The smell of fresh sweet popcorn filled the room. A bright grin appeared on Artti`s face. “What did I do to deserve you?”, he said when the Norwegian handed him the bowl.
Benji let him self fall next to Artti and grabbed a handful of popcorn while watching the TV. “You are lucky, you are injured. Next time you can do it yourself.”
They both know that Artti could’ve made the popcorn. His body still hurt from time to time, but he was cleared to jump and would fly to Italy in a few days. Standing a few minutes in the kitchen waiting for the microwave was doable.
“Have you packed already?”, Benjamin asked when the last woman of the first group was down. Until then they were quiet. It wasn’t unpleasant. Quiet with Benjamin was surprisingly easy. Sunny always instated that Benji was the life of the party and while that could be true, he had his quiet moments.
Artti shot a glance at his teammate. He tried to avoid the topic. Well as good as he could because they were literally watching the Olympics right now. Benjamin wasn’t chosen for team Norway. He wouldn’t fly in late like Artti was. It must sting. Sitting at home, watching the guys he was up against every other weekend compete at the most important event in their sport and not participating. It already stung for Artti, and he was only missing half of the competitions. He couldn’t imagine how it must feel for Benjamin. Especially since normally, under the old rules, he probably would be in Italy right now.
Artti cleared his throat and put his attention back to that screen. His boyfriend would be jumping soon. “The stuff for the Olympic never left the special suitcase so I guess yes.”, he responded. Maybe a bit too late.
Benjamin hummed. “Yeah, Sunny did that too.”
Just in that moment his boyfriend got on the gate. Artti instinctively sat up straighter. He could hear from the shifting on the couch next to him that Benjamin did the same. He swallowed hard. Artti knew that his attention should be on his boyfriend, but he couldn't help himself and watched Benji from the side. Kristoffer jumped far and Benjamins face exploded with awe. Fuck. Artti always knew that it was the most logical explanation, but he never saw it so clearly as he did now.
“I am sorry I took him.” It just slipped out. He didn’t think about it. He didn’t make the decision that today was the day to talk about it. It just happened.
Benjamins head snapped around. With sharp eyes he glanced at him. “What?
Artti knew that he heard him. That he understood it. He repeated it anyways. “Kristoffer. I am sorry I took him from you. I know you love him longer than I have.”
The Norwegian looked at him with big eyes. His cheeks were growing redder with each second; they looked at each other. The competition in the background was long forgotten. “I am not-.”, he tried.
It was an instinct when Artti grabbed the other one’s hand. “Its okay. I am not mad at you or something. You have more right to be mad at me than I do at you. As I said, you were first. If I was you, I would hate me.”
Benji closed his eyes for a few seconds. His long lashes laid on his cheek. “I could never hate you, Artti. And Sunny chose you; you didn’t take him. He loves you. How can I mad about that? You make him happy. He makes you happy.”
God help him. How on earth did Kristoffer and he deserve Benjamin? He was a saint. “You don’t have to be happy about it, do you understand? I would understand it if you weren’t.”
Finally, Benjamin opened his eyes again, looking straight into Artti`s. Artti swallowed hard. The intensity in the eye contact made something in his belly flutter. For a second he studied the Norwegians face and for a moment too long his eyes landed on Benjamins lips. Fuck. That was new.
Artti cleared his throat and tore his gaze from Benjamin back to the screen. The next group of men were already jumping. They missed the whole second group of women.
“It is okay, Artti. Really. You don’t have to worry about me.” The smile on Benjamins face was definitely forced but what was he going to do about it? He tried his best. It still didn’t feel like it was enough.
Sunny dropped the bouquet carelessly on the pavement somewhere in Predazzo when he spotted his boyfriend. He crossed the short distant between them with a few long steps. Before he could even register that he had his boyfriend finally back in his arms, his lips were already on his. The familiar feeling of the pressure against his lips, the acquainted scent and the known feeling of hands on his waist all made him relax in an instant.
“That is now my standard for greetings.”, the Estonian replied and gave him another quick peck.
Kristoffer shock his head and pulled Artti closer again. His arm fully wrapped around the other one’s hip. “That won’t be a problem.”
“But I would like my flowers.”, Artti said and pulled his boyfriend to the abandoned bouquet of tulips, leaving his luggage behind.
Sunny bend down and grabbed the flowers. With a smooth motion he got down on one knee and held them out for his boyfriend, who shook his head but smiled dearly at him. “Isn’t this a bit early?”, he spoke but took the flowers.
“Just a proposal for you take my flowers.”
Behind them someone cleared his throat. “Am I interrupting?” Marius raised an eyebrow in amusement. While Sunny rolled his eyes, Artti made the way over and pulled him in a short hug.
“Missed you too, dickhead.”
While those two exchange a few words, Kristoffer got Artti`s luggage. Thankfully it was only his suitcase and a bag with his ski jumping suits. The skis were already taken care off by Lauri. A small tote bag was hanging around the handles of the suitcase. Before he had even a chance to peak in, his boyfriend was back. He grabbed the bag and slung it around his shoulders. The Norwegian at least tried to not look too invested.
Artti who knew him better than most, picked up on the curios glance. “Oh, it is just from Benji. He gave me a care packet for the Olympics.”
Sunny blinked a couple of times. His best friend made his boyfriend a care packet. He should be thrilled about it. Thrilled that they got along so well. But something inside him stung with the realization. He didn’t get a care packet from his fellow Norwegian. It should be fine. He was here and Benji was not. That must be hard for him. Artti and they weren’t technically on the same team. Different nationalities and stuff. It must be easier for Benjamin to be around Artti right now. But still.
He must have made a face because Artti slotted his hand in Kristoffers. “You got one too. He wouldn’t forget you, you know that right?”
Sunny pressed Artti`s hand and nodded. “I mean I guess.” But the relief that flooded him would suggest otherwise. Why the hell did he feel like this right now? When he and Artti got together, his biggest concern was if Benjamin would get along with his boyfriend. He knew that Benny and Artti were friends, but a new relationship can change things. Pleasantly they only got closer which was a relief but now he wondered if they got too close. Not that he would think that Artti would ever cheat on him and not that Benjamin would ever get with a partner of Sunny. He knew that it was wrong to think like that but maybe it was because he always considered Benjamin as his. They were partners in crime since they were teenagers. The thought that Benji developed a similar relationship with his boyfriend made his stomach drop.
He felt a tug on his hand. Artti already moved in the direction of the Olympic village while he still stood in the same place. Kristoffer looked at his boyfriend who smiled at him. “Are you coming?”
Sunny nodded quietly. His gaze wandered to the tote bag that was still hung around Artti`s shoulder. He should be happy. He was at the Olympics. He already got a medal. His boyfriend was finally there. Finally, they could share the joy of competing at the most important competition in their sport. Why did he feel like something was missing. Why was the only thing on his mind, while he looked at his beaming boyfriend, this is not enough.
Benjamin collected them from the airport. Of course, he did. What else would he be doing? It was totally normal, he thought to himself while waiting for Sunny and Artti in the arrival hall. It wouldn’t be weird. Why should it? Because he thought about Sunny inappropriately? He did all the time, and it never got weird. Because he thought about Artti inappropriately?
Benjamin shook his head. It was only because he and Artti started to hang out a lot. It was normal was what he was telling himself. Maybe it was because they both loved Sunny and they both knew that about the other one? The shared feelings bonded them?
Of course, Benji had to spot Artti first. The blond hair shouldn’t stick out here in Norway but somehow it did. His pulse picked up. Who was he trying to convince? He was not only utterly and helplessly in love with his best friend, but he was also in love with his best friend’s boyfriend. Fuck that.
His mind told him to run but Artti already spotted him as well. The smile on the Estonians face made his knees go weak. He was so fucked. Fucked. Fucked. Fucked. And not in the way he wanted to be fucked.
Now he noticed Sunny too. He had a stupid grin on his face. “Benny, my boy. It really wasn’t necessary.”, the Olympic medallist said and wrapped his arms around Benji’s torso.
“Had to congratulate you in person.”, Benjamin said and discreetly took in Sunny scent. Two weeks without the other one was one of the longer periods they were apart in the last couple of years.
To his surprise, Sunny didn’t let go, only hugging him tighter. Over the shoulder he cached Artti`s eyes. The Estonian shrugged with his shoulder, but he didn’t look pissed or something. Why would he? Benjamin wasn’t a thread to him. Still, Benjamin carefully let go of Sunny.
Now Artti went to him and pulled him in a hug. It felt different then with his best friend. Not worse but different. Probably because he and Artti barely hugged each other outside an outrun at a hill. “Welcome back.”, Benji said just to try an ease the tension that was hanging in between them.
He drove them to Sunny’s place. His place was the nicest from the three. Originally, he meant to leave right after getting their luggage up the third floor, but they insisted that he stayed. So, he stayed.
Artti and he were on the couch, while Sunny hopped under the shower. Artti had already showered while Sunny and Benji got their luggage up. Wet hair was falling onto his forehead. “It is good to have you back around. We missed you.”, Artti said and got a bit closer on the couch. It could’ve been an unthought movement or on purpose. Benjamin couldn’t tell.
“I missed you guys as well. Did you have a good time in Italy?”
Artti cringed. “Come on, Benjamin, don’t make this harder on you than it has to be. You don’t have to pretend that you are fine with staying at home or fine with Kristoffer and me.”
“Can we not have this conversation again?”, Benji begged. He didn’t need someone to press the issues. He didn’t want to get the mental breakdown; he was just waiting to get.
“I just can’t stand the fact that you seem to supress all of your emotions. You can’t be that happy about all of this. And it makes me worry, okay? Because suppressing your emotions is never good in my experience.”, Artti put a hand on his shoulder and did the same soothing motion he always did for Sunny.
The worst thing was that Benjamin could see the genuine worry of his teammate. He swallowed hard. If only he knew how fucked up Benjamin was.
In the background the shower was still running so at least Sunny wouldn’t witness his crash out. He shot up from the couch and glanced down at Artti. “Okay, you want the ugly truth, you get the ugly truth. Of course I am not doing okay. How could I? I am hopelessly in love with my best friend who has this amazing boyfriend that I somehow also developed feelings for. So now I am not only in love with one person but with two. And both of them are taken. How could I be fine with that? Can we drop it now?”
When he finished his little monolog, he was breathing hard. He couldn’t bear to face Artti, so he turned around and let his hand glide over his face. Fuck. He didn’t mean to say all of this. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. He should really work on that swearing problem. But not right now, not when his life was falling apart in front of his eyes.
He should just go. They probably wanted him gone anyway. Benjamin raised his chin up trying to contain the tears that would start in a few seconds.
“Did you mean it? All the things you said?” Benjamin hadn’t registered that Artti had moved, suddenly he was just standing in front of the Norwegian.
His instincts told Benjamin to run but Artti realized his thought before Benji could even move. He wrapped his hands around Benjamins wrist, physically stopping him from running away. Until now the Norwegian hadn’t dared to look at the Estonian. But now he didn’t really have a choice. Artti`s eyes were big, his mouth slightly open. He looked bewildered but still something made Benjamin pause. Somehow, he spotted something soft in Artti`s blue eyes.
“I meant it. All of it.”, the words barely came out but Artti got them.
Artti`s hands let go of his wrist and for a moment Benjamin had the same spiral running in his head like he did thirty seconds ago. Then Artti cupped his cheeks and lightly stroke his thump over Benji´s jaw. “Okay. Okay. This is okay. No, this is good. Very good. I think at least.”
Now Benjamin was really confused. What the hell was good in this situation? Before he could ask that question a cough tore his attention away from Artti.
Sunny stood in the door, watching them with a raised eyebrow. He only wore boxers and there was still a bit of water running down his chest. Benjamins swallowed hard. That was the last thing he needed right now. “Am I interrupting something?”
Artti shook his head, his hands still on Benji´s face. “No. You have a perfect timing.”, he said and then he did something that completely broke Benjamins brain. He kissed him. Artti kissed him. It took a moment until he fully realized what was happening, until he reacted and kissed the Estonian back. His hand immediately found Artti`s waist. In his back of his mind something screamed that this was not right. That he was currently kissing the boyfriend of his best friend and that he definitely shouldn’t do that. But it felt too good to stop.
After what felt like an eternity Artti broke the kiss. Both of their eyes immediately shot to Sunny, who watched them with a neutral face. “What the hell?”
Artti rolled his eyes. “Don’t tell me you don’t feel it too. I was with you in Predazzo. I know how much missed him; how jealous you were when you thought he only made me a care packed.”
“What?”, Benjamin asked confused. His brain was still groggy from the kiss. What the hell was happening?
“I don’t get it either?”, Sunny admitted and folded his arms in front of his bare chest.
Artti let go of Benjamin and stepped between them. First looking back at Benjamin, then looking at his boyfriend. “Idiots. So, Benjamin has been in love with you since I don’t know how long.”, he spoke to Kristoffer, who then looked at Benjamin with big eyes.
He couldn’t help but shrug. “I don’t even know how long.”
“And then obviously we love each other but during my recovery Benji and I became closer and I fell in love with him too. And he is in love with me, I think.” Artti searched Benjamins face for confirmation, which he found when Benjamin slightly nodded. “I know you pretty well and I think you have feelings for Benji too. Maybe you don’t even know it, but I think you do. How could you not? Its Benji.”
Sunnys eyes wandered from Artti to Benjamin, who watched him already. He fully expected a decline. That he would say that they were only best friends. Nothing more. “How could I not.”, he said instead.
“You do? Oh god I think I have to sit down.” Benajmin lowered himself on the couch. This was too much all it at once.
Instantly Kristoffer was by his side. “Everything alright?”
He was only able to nod. Not trusting his voice.
“Great, so we all have feelings for each other. Glad that is clear now.”
“And what now?”, Sunny asked, sitting down next to Benjamin. They were sitting close together like always. But this time Benjamin let him self lean into Sunny. Just a bit.
Artti stood in front of them and put his hand in his hips. A bright smile on face. “Have you ever heard of a throuple?”
