#sketchletters

[tutujorge]

#letrasamano #letrasmexico #sketch #sketchlettering #sketchletters #boceto #bocetodeletras #letrasreales⚔️ #letrasbonitas #letras #chicanostyle #letteringchicano #dibujos #tattoo #tattoos #tatuajesdeletras #letteringmalandro #customlettering #customletteringtattoo (en Villa Nicolás Romero) https://www.instagram.com/tutu_jorge/p/CXO2a4tvSrz/?utm_medium=tumblr

[tutujorge]

#letrasamano #letrasmexico #sketch #sketchlettering #sketchletters #boceto #bocetodeletras #letrasreales⚔️ #letrasbonitas #letras #chicanostyle #letteringchicano #dibujos #tattoo #tattoos #tatuajesdeletras #letteringmalandro #customlettering #customletteringtattoo (en Villa Nicolás Romero) https://www.instagram.com/p/CXOvclSuMpj/?utm_medium=tumblr

[sketchprincess]

Anxiety

Someone who knows what your anxiety looks like. Someone who can understand what is running through your mind just by a glance, someone who knows that your silence means you are drowning and the way your face looks when you’re using every inch of strength not to cry.

Someone who will reassure you, even if it means doing it every day or every hour.

Someone who doesn’t need to be told when you’re feeling anxious. Someone who knows it merely by your twisted features and the picking at your skin. Someone who hears your screams when your mouth is shut and sees your tears when you turn away.

Someone who you can see into and through, who will not let your issues become magnified, who will not joke about things which could turn your world to dust.

Someone who will slip their hand into yours at social events so you don’t feel invisible yet exposed all at the same time.

[sketchprincess]

[sketchprincess]

I never had to nor did I know how to communicate or cope with what I was feeling. Emotions were weaknesses, and my mom had all the power in the house.

I never had that safe space of support when I needed it because my mom and dad we’re constantly using me and everything I said against one another and I saw my dad get everything taken from him basically overnight in my eyes- I was never told what was really going on. It looked to me at 16 years old - that my dad wasn’t good enough for my mom to stick around because he didn’t have a job, and he dealt with mental health issues. So now I fear that I am not good enough for anyone to stay around either, and that I won’t ever be worthy of the support Because of my issues. but Iam breaking the pattern by actually making change and getting help. I still am learning to trust and communicate with the ones I care about most. And I wish that I could work through it with him. I wish he would see me and stick around.

[sketchprincess]

There are things I wish I could ask and tell you so we could both better understand certain parts of the relationship but for now I just want to let you know I was able to get help from a professional on realizing the things I was doing, why I was doing it and how to prevent it in the future. In doing so I’ve learned how to better cope and communicate with the ones I love & care about. (Which has always been my biggest struggle) And It’s been so mind blowing at how much lighter I feel in doing so and how much deeper of a connection I can get with someone. I couldn’t have gotten this far without you. I just wanted to say thank you for being the first to challenge me and help me take the next steps to grow as a person. I’ll love you always for that, JSC. I hope you never forget it.

[sketchprincess]

Dear you.

Since you haven’t asked, I’m just going to leave this here.

You haven’t asked once how I’m doing. You have no idea the hardships I’m going through. Does everyone think I’m on vacation here? Im fucking not.

The week I got here my mom got really ill. She’s been bed ridden my entire stay and has to have a major surgery, possibly an amputation. So not only have I been trying to take care of myself, I’ve also had to deal with that. So Ive kind of been on my own with a family/friend support system & have had to give her a lot of support.

I have been managing a local coffee shop/restaurant out here and they stock my dog treats. I’ve been handling markets & cake orders in both AZ and FL which has gone surprisingly smooth. I also have acquired 2 new accounts (soon to be 3) with local shops in AZ while I’ve been out here that will also be stocking my treats. I have also started a new business and I have clients waiting for me to return.

I’ve been seeing a therapist. I have one in AZ too. It’s been helpful having someone pick apart my triggers, and also help me notice how much progress I’ve made.

I am in the BEST shape of my life. I’ve dropped a total of 15lbs and have never felt or looked better- despite the lack of decent gym access here 😭 didn’t realize how spoiled we were in AZ with the amount of options for gyms! Only downside to my new weight is that My 1 rep max is at 275 on squats (nobody can spot any heavier out here anyways 🤣)

I got baptized in the ocean!!! It was an amazing experience and crazy perfect since they’ve only done beach specific baptisms THREE times in TWO years! How’s that for timing?! And I’ve been part of a bible study group here that has been absolutely amazing. I’ve met some amazing friends here, a completely different pace and vibe! It’s gonna be sad to leave it, but I’ve already got 2 groups lined up and waiting for me at church back home. I’ve also been seeing a therapist out here and have one set up already in AZ for when I return.

There’s so much more I could tell you, but I think that’s the short version of what I’ve been up to,what I’ve got in store and that I’m so ready to come home.

[sketchprincess]

I needed someone to show up for me and hold their end of the deal when it came to support, communication and love.

He didn’t do that for me when I needed it MOST, through my HARDEST growing pains, so how can I rely on him now?