#skit.txt

[skitska]

drove for the first time today. it should be the last tbh

[emoskittish]

I FEEL LIKE I DON’T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. WHEN I WAS YOUNGER I IDENTIFIED MYSELF BY MY ANONYMITY. WHEN I LEFT THE PLANET I IDENTIFIED MYSELF AS A QUADRANT WORKER. WHEN I GOT OUT OF THAT SITUATION I IDENTIFIED AS A THRESHECUTIONER, A WORKING MAN, AN IMPLEMENT OF THE EMPIRE. 

THEN THE EMPIRE REJECTED ME AND I STARTED TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO I WAS WITHOUT IT. I FELT LIKE I WAS STARTING TO GET TO KNOW JUST WHO I ACTUALLY AM WHEN I WAS LIVING WITH LC AND SPENDING TIME WITH SAM AND FEN. 

NOW I FEEL LIKE I’VE FORGOTTEN WHO I AM BECAUSE I’M TOO FOCUSED ON WHO I’M SUPPOSED TO BE. I’M A REBEL AND THAT’S ALL I’M SUPPOSED TO BE RIGHT NOW. I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHO I FELT LIKE WHEN I HAD THE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE.

[emoskittish]

WHY DO I ALWAYS FEEL LIKE I’M RUNNING FROM SOMETHING?

[emoskittish]

I’VE MISSED SAM A FUCKING LOT. SO WHY AM I SO GODDAMN TERRIFIED OF GOING BACK TO SEE THEM AGAIN?

[emoskittish]

EVEN IF WE DO WIN THIS WAR... WHAT WILL I DO? I SURE AS HELL DON’T WANT TO GO INTO POLITICS, ESPECIALLY NOT IN AN UNSTABLE GOVERNMENT THAT’LL HAVE TO BE ESTABLISHED WHEN THE EMPRESS IS FINALLY DEAD. I MIGHT NEVER GET FULL MOBILITY BACK IN MY RIGHT SHOULDER. I JUST WANTED TO GO SOMEWHERE AND LIVE THE REST OF MY LIFE DOING JUST MANUAL LABOR, BUT IF I SUSTAIN TOO MANY MORE INJURIES I MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO DO THAT, AND GOD KNOWS THAT I’M GONNA GET FUCKED UP IN THE FIGHT AGAINST HER IMPERIOUS CONDESCENSION. 

I JUST AM SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THE END OF THIS WAR, BUT THE REST OF ME IS TERRIFIED OF THE “NOW WHAT?” I’M GOING TO HAVE TO ASK MYSELF WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER.

[emoskittish]

TUMBLR IS SO EMPTY LATELY. I KEEP COMING TO SEE IF THERE’S PEOPLE ONLINE WHO I KNOW/CARE ABOUT, BUT I HARDLY EVER TALK TO PEOPLE ANYMORE. 

I MISS PEOPLE. 

[emoskittish]

I JUST WANT TO FEEL FREE

[emoskittish]

I MISS FEN AND SAM.