#skriblerlenz

[radioactiveshoes]

I would much rather make art to tape to the walls.

I would much rather lie naked stretched out on the floor.

I would much rather the world could stop with the needing me.

I would much rather to not have to try anymore.

But lying under my table my back starts to hurt me.

But when all alone I feel rather lonely.

But my art grows stale if no one else sees it.

But if I stop trying, I won't live at all.

[radioactiveshoes]

I See Families on TV and Cry

**[TW: physical abuse & child abuse in general. Nothing graphic.]** My mother never loved me, And though I know that isn't true, She let my father hit me, Which a mother shouldn't do. My father had a temper, So big it changed his face From chubby whiskered smiling, To seething growling hate. My brothers all had bruises, We'd compare them in the bath, The more the blue & black The louder we would laugh. My sisters' eyes are haunted - They lack that childish spark - But what would you expect When life is such a lark. My childhood's a fog Of shouts & fears & hurts, But still all I can wonder: Did I get what I deserve?

[radioactiveshoes]

Apparently my Tumblr is 2 years old today. Awww widdle baby wif it's 2 widdle candles. :3 Now for the Terrible Twos. 😈

[radioactiveshoes]

Too Long For Twitter

Really they hate me, Or so I was told, By a little old man Who could never know What anyone thought About anything - But still I would listen, In the hopes he'd love me.

[radioactiveshoes]

I have an aching & an itch my fingers can't quench. A lust on my tongue I can't daydream away. Somehow I'm smiling although I feel bad. & yet I refuse to play.

[radioactiveshoes]

I don't know how you perceive my mission as a writer, but for me it is not a responsibility to reaffirm your concretized myths and provincial prejudices. It is not my job to lull you with a false sense of the rightness of the universe. This wonderful and terrible occupation of recreating the world in a different way, each time fresh and strange, is an act of revolutionary guerrilla warfare. I stir the soup. I inconvenience you. I make your nose run and your eyeballs water.

HARLAN ELLISON

[radioactiveshoes]

The Correlation Between Money & Hapiness

*I had to write a short piece on my opinion on the correlation between money & happiness. I thought I'd stick it here.* Money has always been sold to us (pun not intended) as the key to getting what we want, which is what we are told will make us happy: “Buy this flash sports car, get the pretty girl, and be happy.” “Buy this new blender and you too can make the best soup in half the time. It’ll make your life so much better!” These sorts of ads are everywhere, constantly telling us we only need to get this item to be happy like this person is. Obtaining material objects requires money. Once we earn enough money for one object, we feel pleasure from acquiring something we wanted. This ‘happiness’, however, soon wears out, and we are left wanting the next ‘new shiny’ to fill our need for happiness. As shown by the millions of people living with very little and still being happy, however, we do not need more things to be happy. Happiness is nothing more than choice. Sometimes this choice is not available, for instance when a loved one has died; when one suffers from a mental illnesses that suppresses the ability to feel happy; or when one is overwhelmed by negative events or surroundings. Even in these times though, one can learn strategies to make the choice available. The only correlation between money and happiness is the idea that more things equal more happiness. Nonetheless, this idea is nothing more than a falsity, bought by enough people to make it a norm.

[radioactiveshoes]

3yo: I hurt myself.

Me: oh, where?

3yo: *points to invisible mark on her foot*

Me: oh wow. That looks terrible. You were very brave.

3yo: very cool & nICE.