#skyunderthesea

[their-home]

Sometimes I get this feeling

After I had a nightmare

A wishing I'd just have someone to hold me

But then, me and my fuzzy brain,

Trying to reboot on how much better it is

To just be desired

Leaving hungry men on seen

Cus none of them want the real me.

I don't think I'm as sweet as the hot cocoa you used to serve when I just wanted to get my cries out

I don't want my room to look like a mess anymore, even if only for a night

But I'm too paralyzed by being broken

From a dream I didn't think I would ever wake up from

At least I got someone to hold close,

Even if she only barks when there's no one home.

- Unscramble me, I can beg.

[s-s-s-scared]

eu, com o coração na mão

você, fronha e colchão.

minha ansiedade,

o abandono sempre a espreita.

meu sono chora esquecido

pois me deitar no teu olhar,

que me era abrigo,

fez, do meu peito,

cativo.

tu esqueceu da nossa promessa,

e eu,

não te perdoarei por essa.

As love came, it went.

2023, a december alway shakes fragile bones.

[s-s-s-sad]

why must I be torn apart

a love, hiding at every corner,

and it's aim is always aligned with splitting

and questioning

and butterflies only flies when there's wind

but blown as impactfully

across my seemingly loving-the-ride-on-the-highway-with-the-fastest-sports-car-ever face

has let it to believe I'm not suffocating at

every

gear

change.

I just wanted to be hugged,

now my limbs are too tired to

reach

for

safety.

(Has Love Changed it's Address? I'm Lost and Can't Dial Mr. Lonely)

[s-s-s-sad]

foot taste on my tongue but

I keep talking like

I'm digging graves with my words

and I'm always on the

graveyard

shift.

[s-s-s-sad]

serenity in rage, orgasm of a punch

stumping down on places that I never belonged

if you ever really tried to know, I'd tell you

about the burn that never ceases to consume me,

like my cigarette intake,

trying to asphyxiate what hurts me the most

time and indifference,

promises of better days,

wounded dogs with sharp teeth, laying under cries that storms and tears could never hear or heal

homes with no welcome mats, porcelain plates with no love to feed

headaches that turn into zombie eyes of fears to release yourself onto blissful sleep.

I could never be mended again.

[s-s-s-sad]

past bleeds as aggressively

and as beautifully

as

I

remember?

when I couldn't make out faces

from dreams I had awake

on nights midday burned my retina

closed,

names the wind took from under my feet

bleeding,

every scar I forgot

to count cigerettes and prayers

to money under a mattress

I seem to have lost,

my ease,

on a trip to a city

no soul should know.

[s-s-s-sad]

carnival parades,

times when crowds just frightened me

enough to sip

something I couldn't control

sleeping as exhausted as I may

only when I lay

the sheets tell me about deserving

desserts of good dreams and

holding hands that aren't reaching for

my skin that is

minds and celestial bodies

away, at home

with suns, imploding

but not quite far enough

from being here

afraid of enormous,

(ominous),

satellites and statues

human devotion, the pain of eternal

ethereal forever, never endings

that will soon enough vanish

when I'm not around

do you look at the skies and think

if I still am, if I ever went,

if ever will

go

back?

[s-s-s-sad]

memories shift

my old feelings, never old

passions from past homes

addresses I'd never forget

streets I walk with shut eyes

and melodies

dancing as alone as I've ever had

with songs that I once learned

with lyrics my heart hums

from memory

like my body changed planets

but I'm still native

tongue from cigarettes and

no kisses tattooed on

my chest rooting emo

notions picked subtly

quietly awaiting for

my star to cross pass your street

on a sky of what it's meant to be.

light me a poem,

tell me we aren't just ashes

the wind takes away

the pain I can only convey

with eye contacts I'm too afraid to

sustain.

I could serenade you a bed and a blanket

even when the night's coldest

the sun will shine in my eyes

wishing that you'd

never

said

goodnight.