So I’m going to start this off by saying this is going to be a post that may be relatable it may not be, it’s my story and what happened to me recently and it’s about Love and what it does to you even after they have hurt you. So here goes….
I was little and there was this boy that lived down the street from me and he was two years older. He was my first friend, crush, and kiss. He taught me how to skateboard and he tried to get the other kids to stop bullying me. The year he moved I was raped by someone I had known and he had noticed a change in me and never asked if I was okay when I started skipping school, I would sit home and cry because I was called “ugly” and “fat” when at 4'5 I weighed 75 pounds and where I was suppose to be with my weight, it didn’t stop at school. When I would walk home from school a supposed friend started calling me “whore” and asking me “so how much did you make at school today” as I walked home from school. It was so bad one time that I was crying from all the bullying, all while I was dealing with my father being an alcoholic. Two years later the bullying still continues and even after four years of telling teachers and the office I was being bullied there was no disciplinary action. My mother had had enough and my 6th grade year of grade school and moved me to my current home. I had gone through depression and lost my virginity to someone in my class in turn I was ridiculed and lost a lot of friends. I found out that I was one of twenty six girls that this boy had done the same to. I started to cut myself because I was so depressed. When my mother found out about me giving away my virginity after being raped and her finding out about me cutting myself all she had said to me was “I thought I raised you better”. After a while I started going to a therapy group and got help on my own when my mother did not approve of the group because of the people that were in it. Everyone else was praising me for identifying the problem and seeking help. Months pass and I stop going. Then that year I meet the boy that I dated for four years. His name is Colin. My freshman year of high school goes by well until summer, I went to a party and got drunk with a boy that I was friends with, I cheated on Colin. I told him a few days later the guilt got so unbearable. He forgave me but we still had our problems, he would get distant and I would tell him for it to get better only for it to happen again and finally ending our relationship of four years. Finally end of the school year comes around and I get in touch with my childhood friend and crush, boy from earlier, and we finally end up dating. He tells me about his ex’s how much he loves me and that he wants to be with me for the rest of his life, silly old me believed him. He proposed, and I gladly said yes. We start planning the wedding and start looking for a house up around where I lived so we could move in together. Then when he plans on coming up for a month he gets into a bad car crash where he flatlined and was revived. Afterward everything is great until the Friday before my birthday. I think nothing of it until we are on FaceTime and all of a sudden he has to go. I try calling him back an hour later when with his “job” he would call me every 30 minutes. Things start to not add up when he tells me he has to go to England for work. But then on my birthday he sends me nudes at 5 in the morning. Then the next day I text his sister and she tells me he is going but for vacation. I also find out he was never in a car crash, never going to move by me, and his “job” was volunteer work. I also find out he told his family we broke up because I “couldn’t handle the distance” and he was already with someone else. I found out the day after my birthday that he was just using me to get his ex back and he was planning on leaving me at the wedding. I had never been so humiliated in my life or so I thought. I remembered how I felt when we were in grade school and thought no I really wasn’t. The only thing is that no matter what he did to me I still love him, when I know he doesn’t love me back. I would honestly take him back of he apologized and told me why, even though I know that won’t happen. That is what love does to you.
That is my story and how the chapter has ended, I hope you learn something from my story that things can be worse, you just have to keep your chin up and keep moving forward. Thank you for reading.
