#slasherslikebeetroot

[childish-ish]

Yoo! *hands you subway sandwich* I absolutely loved the soulmate AU with Micheal making choices for each other. And I was wondering (if you can/want) what would it be like for Billy Lenz.

hii *fucking devours subway sandwich* thank u so much i love u <3 i would love to write for him! sorry if hes ooc :<

sorry it took so long too, i thought it said lOOMIS AND I LOOK BACK AND IT SAYS LENZ LMFAAAOOOOOOOO then i procrastinated xd its super awkward and weird, im sorry!! i tried- i was on major fucking writers block!!

bro u made me eat a bug dont talk to me

soulmate au.. makin choices fo eachother..

billy lenz x reader

also, just imagine like. a party right before christmas and they dont call the police to help them rather do it themselves, but then 1 girl calls and they're on their way at the end.. ya dig? ALSO I KNOW ITS HIS HOME BUT I DIDNT HAVE AN IDEA SO xd

"Hello?" You answer the phone politely, looking over your notes before closing the book as you wait in silence for a reply on the other line. "Hellooo?" You drag out the 'o' in hello.

"Y/n? Hey, hows'it going. Listen i have this party goin' on and I know you don't have jack-shit to do, so, why don't you come on over?"

Barb! Ah, that bitch.. should i? You thought over the pros and cons as Barb waited impatiently on the other line.

soulmate chooses: go to party.

"Yeah, I'm coming. Streets?" You ask, opening your notebook back up, flipping to a blank page as Barb told you the address. You hang up on the girl and rip the piece of paper off, holding it between your teeth as you lift yourself from your cushioned chair, grabbing your coat that hung on the back and quickly stuffed the address in the pocket of your coat.

eat bug or do not eat bug.

You furrow your eyebrows at the choices. Before choosing 'do not eat the bug'. What the fuck?

Of course you would choose not to eat the fucking bug. You weren't a dick. But your fucking soulmate was. You were totally gonna beat their fucking ass for choosing such choices.

You sigh, grabbing your coat on the way out. Your necessities jingling in your pockets of said coat. You shove your hand in, dragging out your keys, turning around to lock your door. Sighing once more, as you enter your car and start the ignition. You pull out the address. "Can't be too hard, can it?" You mutter, finally pulling out of your driveway.

"Hello!" You wiggle your fingers as a small wave at the unrecognizable woman who opened the door. "Hello." Sge greeted back softly. "Are you a friend of Barbs'?"

"You betcha!"

"Well, I'm Jess! It's a pleasure to meet you.. come on in!" Jess opened the door wider. You see a few other girls chatting lively. A glass or a beer bottle in their hands. You follow Jess.

"Y/n! You made it! Good job." Barb greeted you, immediately handing you a beer you watched her pop open. You grab it, took a gulp, and thanked her.

You spot an ant crawling on the counter by you. Jess and Barb began to argue softly. Background noise.. You debate on whether to wipe it up and eat it. You shake your heads of the thoughts to rid of the possibility of your soulmate choosing-

eat the ant.

You growl under your breath, crushing the ant under your index finger and wiping it off on your tongue. You swallow it with your spit.

Im totally beating my soulmates fucking ass.. you thought angrily, chugging the rest of your piss-tasting beer. Chug, chug, chug! You cheer yourself on.

soulmate chooses: chug.

You chuckle before downing the rest of your cheap beer. Barb hands you another wordlessly. A smirk planted on her lips as she watches you down another.

"You should really slow down, Y/n."

"Eeh come on, Jess." Barb rolled her eyes, tossing an empty bottle into the trashcan. "Her soulmate probably made her chug." Barb defends poorly.

"I suppose.. how about you chug some water?"

"Yeah.. that'd be best. I'm already feeling a fucking buzz!" You laugh, being the lightweight you were.

Soon. You had awoke in a extremely comfortable bed with a small headache.

"It's so quiet.." You mutter to yourself. Dragging your hand over your face before quickly pulling away, realising you already had acne that was beginning to sprout. You stare at the ceiling, glancing at the window. Still night-time. You turn your head to the nightstand. The lamp was on. A small glass of water.

"Awh." You smile at the thought of one of the girls leaving a cup of water for you, quietly closing the door behind them. You immediately sit up and chug the water, tossing in the two pills that lied on a small napkin right next to it. You swallow, lathering the pills up in your spit.

You stretch your arms over your head, before falling back onto the plush mattress layered in bedding. You sigh, before finally deciding that it was time to get up and see what was going on downstairs. If you were even upstairs.. you cant tell. Maybe you were downstairs? You continued your train of thought as you closed the door behind you politely. Not bothering to take the glass with you.

You continue down the stairs, hand sliding down the railing as you slowly step down each step, before noticing the sticky, yet not sticky liquid your hand laid in. "The fuck? Strawberry syrup, L-O-L." You lift it up to your lips, licking. Clearly not thinking as the taste registered.

"Pennies. Blood? Oops." You wipe your fingers off on your shirt, quickly continuing down the stairs. "Baaarrrb?!" You call out, awkwardly. "Oh. Who's the shit-face drunk lying on the floor." You step closer towards the dining area. "Barb? You fucking drunk." You snicker.

soulmate chooses: kick her.

You do so. Not like you had any choice yourself. Kicking her lightly in the stomach, you step away. "What the fuck?!" You shriek, slapping the hand that was placed in your shoulder. You turn around to face a rugged man in a dark sweater and black pants. no shoes? Yet socks on his feet.. "Who are you?!"

The person before you didn't answer before lifting up a single hand thay held a.. glass unicorn? The tip of the horn was covered in a red substance. You could only assume strawberry syrup once more.

"Murderer!" You shriek, grabbing the lamp next to you and chucked it at the offending man who barely dodged it. He screamed back in response before lunging at you; successfully tackling you to the carpet rug.

"I can't believe you, are my soulmate.. well no, i can." You place your index finger on your chin in a thoughtful manner as you stare at the ceiling. "Are you?"

"billy made you eat an ant." he snickers horridly in your ear.

As, Billy, with the biggest cock known to man, squabbled and licked the shell of your ear, muttering about pigs and boobs and pussies, you nod to yourself.

"I can just hand you over to the police, no problem." You hug yourself. "But could I, really? My soulmate. Who has killed people.. Barb. God, you fucking cunt!" You screech, rolling away from him, just to jump back on the wide-eyed motherfucker, wrapping your hands around his neck and your cunt being right over his crotch. Haha.

He gasped for air, short, uneven nails scratch at your hands.

Tables were turned, and you were back on the floor with Billy over you, screaming out profanities.

"I'm sorry, Billy." You apologize falsely. Tears streaming down to your ears, since, you were on the floor.. gravity? "You killed my friend, man. I didn't even know her that long!"

Billy leans over and licks the tears away. You flinch away, before he pulls you into his lap awkwardly, his head dipped down into the crevice of your neck and sniffed loudly before giggling to himself.

"Billy's pretty little pig. Billy's. Pretty pig. Pretty cunt. Pretty, pretty, pretty." He mutters, an odd sense of nostalgia washed over you, catching an odd scent that activated said nostalgia.

"Move bitch. Let me get fucking comfortable." You snap, pulling out of his hold and turning your body around to face him. Crotch to crotch as you wrap your legs above his own.. does this make sense? You wrap your legs around his and he crosses his legs, wrapping his arms around you tightly as you fiddle with his hair.

"Man, you are such a fucking dick. Making me do all those fucking things while i chose nice things for you.." You lay your head on his shoulder. Very much stinky, yes.

"We should dip though. Didn't one of the girls call the police while yo' dumb-fucking-ass was suffocating one?" You pull away, getting a good look at his face.

You wouldn't say he was.. handsome.. but you certainly wouldn't say he was ugly. His skin was.. a sickly pale yellow. His.. fuckimg huge brown eyes stared at you. His cracked lips were curled into a unnerving smile.

soulmate chooses: leave.

"Yeah. Let's go." You stand, offering him a hand.

Billy's blood coated calloused hand makes contact with your own. You gag, covering your lips with your free-hand. "Fucking disgusting." You mutter in disgust, enduring it for the sake of your new partner.

You shove Billy in the back of your car, slamming the door shut and sprinting to the other side, just to slip right before you put your hand on the door.

You swing it open angrily, sitting down and starting the ignition, ignoring Billy's giggles and mutters as he peers out the window like a little kid looking at snow for the first time.

break the window or tap obnoxiously.

You roll your eyes, the hint of a smile plastered onto your lips.

tap obnoxiously.

[childish-ish]

aYOO I SAW THAT FUCKING REWRITE OF THE FERAL S/O AND JASON WOEKEKKWKDKW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BRO, I HOPE YOURE HAVING A FUN ASS FUCKING TIME, YOUR FERAL S/O IS LITERALLY MY FAVORITE SJDJWKSK

ilysm2 <33333333 sorry for bein so inactive LMFAOOOOOOOOO in return heres a tiny litel mf fic 👍🏻

gender-neutral reader yeehaw, sorry reader isnt as feral,, kinda lost my fucking pizazz or whatever,,

"Ayo, my guy!!" Hidden in the mixed dead and alive brush, was Jason, peaking around curiously, meeting your excited gaze.

"Catch!" You toss a large beetle at him. He swipes it away, giving you a look before pushing through the entrance to your little goblin hide-out.

"I found a kickass ring on one of the campers, look. I found another on someone else, look; we're married now." You show off the back of your grimy left hand to the buff-zombie, offering the other ring to Jason in your right. "Wait, let me propose."

You, on both knees, shuffle onto one, holding out the metal band to the beautiful.. dead man..

"Will, you.. Jason Voorhees.. take my hand in marriage?"

Is this how you propose? Ah, shit. I haven't seen a romance movie in forever, i don't remember..

The man in front of you shuffled, you watch him carefully as he slaps both of his large hands over his covered mouth. He steps giddily in place before holding out his hand and nodding vigorously.

"Amazing." You stand, almost falling as you see wonderful colors blind you before you steady yourself on Jason. "Okay.. so." You slip the ring on his pinkie, the only finger it seemed to fit after trying the other four.

"We're married now. No escape." You grinned, stepping on your tip-toes to give the hockey-masked zombie a kiss on the cheek.

Jason's shoulders bounce up and down before shoving his hands under your armpits and swinging you up and bringing you close to his chest. You get the gist and wrap your arms around his neck. Sighing in his ear in content-

You always told yourself you weren't going to get married after seeing so many married couples fall out of love, but you.. you really loved Jason. The fucking, most prettiest man you've laid your fucking eyes on. He was so.. fucking amazing. You loved him. You wanted this.

[childish-ish]

Bro??? Are you me?? Are we secretly the same person split in two?? The way you write is exactly how I would react down to the speech and funny add ons?? Make more?? PLEASE??

you have no idea how happy this makes me :') of course bae 👍🏻 trying out for bo sinclair LMFAO

sorry can you repeat that

sinclair brothers x gn! ghost? reader 👍🏻

"She's hot." You step around a beautiful wax figure, shiny coils of hair cascading past her melanin-rich shoulders, her thick lips pulled up in a small smile as her dark chocolate brown eyes point to the man directly in front of her, mouth open as if he was in the midst of speaking. "Why'd you kill her? She looks like she would've been really good at making conversation. Like, she looks fun.. you know?"

"Look, look! I'm gonna fucking shove it up his nose!" You laugh, shoving your pinky up the very dead mans' nose.

Vincent slapped your wrist.

"Ow! Fucking bastard! Let's be friends." You held out your hand, with the infected finger you shoved up the strangers' nose. "Wait, how did you touch me." You gasp, dramatically as you step forward, closer to the greasy-haired man. You reach out, just for him to slap your hand away.

"Come on, man! We're best friends now. Hey do you have any living people around here? Like friends or something, besides me of course." You say, smugness laced in your words as you follow Vincent.

You've noticed something; earlier when this masked freak had tried to subdue you, he couldn't lay a hand on you.. he just went right through you. That's actually kinda cool. But how come he was able to slap my wrist? Fucking weirdo. You eye Vincet at the corner of your eye as you walk besides the man. You were about.. an inch or so shorter..

"Oh hey. Who's that?" You point with your whole arm at a man who was leaving the church you had laughed at. To be clear, you had laughed at the church because you had remembered when you had to go because your guardian wanted to do better as a person instead of being a violent dickhead. You walk out to the sidewalk before finally noticing-

"Wait where did you go? Vincent?! VINCENT?!" You began to scream at the top of your lungs, now noticing Weird Ass disappeared from your side.

"The hell?!" A deep guttural 'yeehaw' voice shouted in surprise and maybe a bit of fear behind you. You swing your body around, face to face with a clean shaven man, the one you pointed at!

"The hell?!" You mimick his voice. Truly trying to capture the cowboy esque of his voice.

"You little bitch." He practically growled, making another move to grab you- wrapping his arms around you, just to go right through you.

"Okay, you animal." You snap, shoving the man away. "Bro. You needa' take some fucking chill-pills."

"The fuck are you?!" He shouted in anger, genuinely confused and out right angry at the fact he couldn't understand what the fuck you were and who you were and what the fuck you were doing being untouchable- how could you touch him but he couldn't touch you?!

"Joe mama, L-M-A-O."

remember! just tryin it out! however if any1 likes this lmao ill do it again.. but longer.. epically..

[childish-ish]

worm on a string

michael myers x gn reader but its platonic

slowly.. comin back,.,. srry for any mistakes lol

"Kill a motherfucker you know, at the black with the back with a fucking half-a-sack!" You scream along to your speaker, knowing you weren't alone. Maybe if you annoyed whoever else was in your house, they would leave.. or still, kill you. Or did you know them? Gah, who cares. Probs' mike.

"Just a sec- hold up, wait a minute while i get my fucking tools!" You bob your head to the song, overwhelmed by the vigor and caffeine.

"YOU MOTHERFUCKER!!" You scream, your overly playful feline, jumping onto your back, claws digging into your back. You hiss as you shake off the damn cat; calling said cat a fucking bitch.

"Fuckin' cunt." You exclaim, finally grabbing with both gloved hands and tossing it into the huge pile of leaves you raked. Dead leaves flew everywhere - you watch the cat leap in the air, trying to catch a specific leaf.

"Motherfucker.." You shake your head, placing your hands on your hips as you watch the damn feline paw at another dead leaf. "

"Bitch-motherfucker you know.." you mumble a completely different song, nodding your head twice before sighing, letting your arms fall at your sides. "That's enough of outside time. I'll come back out later.. maybe."

You pull off your work gloves, tossing them onto a lawn-chair and shuffling over towards the table where your speaker and phone resided. You turn down the volume before turning the speaker off, pausing the song on your phone- shoving that motherfucker in your pocket and holding the cylinder speaker under your arm. Finally.. in the house.

A knock came from the front door- you quickly toss the speaker onto a cushioned chair and made a run for it to the door. You wait a moment before peeking out the little peephole. The mailwoman stepping off your front steps, shuffling through her bag. You wait before she was out of sight to open the door.

Unlocking it and swinging the door open, you crouch to pick up the package that rested besides your rug. You run back inside, kicking the door closed-

To the kitchen!

You toss the box onto the island in the middle of the kitchen, throwing yourself towards the knives. You grab a slim knife, throwing yourself back to the box and immediately slicing it open.

A bag of worms! On a string! You vibrate in place excitedly.

A hand was placed on your shoulder - you scream jumping away and swinging your body around to face the owner of the hand.

"Michael! Look- i got these worms and this fucking sickass dead beetle. It's a hercules one, look, dude!"

Michael Myers. One creepy motherfucker who.. sometimes slept in your attic. Did he even sleep? Maybe he just stood in place while doing nothing. Respect.

You toss the bag of worms at his chest, it falls to the hardwood floors with soft crinkling, before taking the bubble-wrapped rectangle box out of the bigger box. You rip off the long bubble wrap, tossing it over your shoulder, tearing into the box. You retrieve a small, clear case with leather lining and - white stuffing around the beetle.

You offer it to him. The worms and the beetle were the only things in the box.

He only stares at you. Creepy ass masked bitch.. you place the case on the counter, gathering the trash and tossing it into the trash. You bend over to grab the bag of worms. Opening it and tossing a few of the small plastic baggies onto the counter.

"Okidokie, Michael,, here. It's your child now. Wait. Do you want to pick a color?"

Michael's large hand edged towards a dark blue worm. He pulled the package open and out popped the worm.

"Ok, cool. This one.. is my child too." You held up a red worm. Michael unwrapped the thin plastic string off the little white card, holding it in the air.

"Bang, bang. Gimme fame, shoot me up to entertain." You hum, dragging your red worm to the couch.

"Ill clean up the rest later." You wave off Michael's stare. "Wanna watch something with me or..?"

Michael sat in the other cushioned chair next to the couch, you grinned, grabbing the remote that was deep in the couch's crevice. Switching between channels before finally landing on Saw 5.

You cuddle into the couch, worm resting on the nightstand cabinet. Michael in the chair over there..

Nice.

[childish-ish]

kismet

pairing: michael myers x reader

soulmate au; soulmates that make choices for each other.

part two!

"Bro. I got this bitch ass pimple on my face - what should I do?"

soulmate chooses: let it do it's thing.

"What a bitch. When i meet my soulmate I'm gonna fucking punch 'em in the fucking neck." You sigh, then snicker right after - "If i can even reach them."

Usually, you start off your day with a huge huff of cocaine and a box of Kelloggs™ cereal with the milk with the purple lid. Just kidding! You don't eat Kelloggs, instead, you eat Lucky Charms! Mostly for the marshmellows. Anyways.

You get dressed. Having been naked and looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror, contemplating on whether popping the 3 pimples on your face - one above your eyebrow, very - not visible. Another on your cheekbone - the other on your nose. You popped the one on your nose and washed your face, yesterday, so two pimples.

Anyways. You dress in regular jeans, pull over a plain grey t-shirt over your head, and slip on some socks, then your sneakers, then a hoodie. You checked over yourself and decide you look hot as fuck, and step to your bed, pull off your phone from your charger, shove that bitch in your pocket - and leave.

soulmate chooses: take a bus to school.

"Awh! They care about me <33."

"Hm." You look over the choices you get to pick - buy a donut or have a balanced breakfast.

"Haha!" You laugh, clicking on the 'balanced breakfast'. "Homeboy gonna eat good tonight. Whether they fucking like it or not."

You exit your home, keys in your pocket, and a lollipop in your mouth. You totally forgot to the brush your teeth, but gurgled some mouthwash hoping it would be enough.

You jog towards the bus, enter said bus, and sat next to your friend.

"Hey, kiddo." She waved. Neon pink hair clashed with black hair as it fell over her left blue eye, a major contrast to her paper white skin. She wore a black hoodie with some red symbol, something to do with creepypasta, black pants with large rips, fishnet tights under, and regular ol converse. Red, to be exact. Converse Chucks, to be exact.

"Shut the fuck up, don't call me that." You pull out your phone and lean down, entering your password as the bus begun to move.

"Ah, babygirl, you know that turns me on, aha - " She bites her lip and rubs her hand together like she was rubbing in hand sanitizer.

"Ah, right. I love you."

"Ew." Cheesebird laughed. Some random ass nickname you gave her because she didn't like her name.

soulmate chooses; go to classes

"Ugh." You roll your eyes - had thought about skipping class.

You look over your choices. steal a car, or walk.

Well. You don't want your soulmates feet to hurt.. so. Steal a car.

After the bus pulls up to the school, you exit with Cheesebird. You're a Senior in highschool.

You enter first period. Homeroom.

You sit in your assigned seat, thankfully, next to Cheesebird. You two discreetly passed notes, never getting caught - only once by a substitute.

"Hey, so, i know a neat place to go trick-or-treating. You up for it?" Cheesebird asked, placing her Gir themed backpack next to her feet, under the piss yellow desk -

You shrug. The day carrying on, kind've. You're in fourth period. Gym, when Cheesebird asked you the question again.

"Honestly, I'm thinking of starting in tonight. I have this fucking weird ass bad feeling.." You rub your bare arms, feeling unusually comfortable in the red booty shorts the gym made you wear.

"I can respect that. After i get all my candy, I'm gonna dip over to your house, is that okay?" Cheesebird asked, fiddling with a lollipop stick. She ate the lollipop already, stealing it from someone's backpack because of her soulmates choice - so the stick acted as a candy cigarette of some sort.

"Yeah, that's chill. What are you gonna be?" You swing your legs back and forth. Ankles crashing against the bleachers, giving you a dull pain.

"I'm gonna be a goblin. You know, if i were to guess what you were going to be, you would be a fucking astomi. Cause like, I'm gonna be a goblin.. and you're basically a goblin.. and i don't like talking.. except like, with you." Cheesebird explained awkwardly. She begun to chew on her lollipop stick.

"Yeah, i got it." You chuckle.

soulmate chooses: apple, water, and chicken nuggets.

"Oh, sick." You nodded.

"Oh, did your soulmate choose something? What was chosen your majesty?" Cheesebird asked.

"I got chicken nuggets for lunch. Want them?" You ask, looking over the freshmen that chose to play volleyball on one side, and basketball on the other.

You turn to Cheesebird, watching her eyes peek up.

Her eyes flick to you, and she nods with a smile, "Thanks bro!"

"Ah, yeah." You breathe, "No problem."

You look over your choices. clever or chef's knife.

You make a look, furrowing your eyebrows and jerking your head back slightly before choosing chef's knife.

"Another? What'd you choose?"

"My choices were clever or chef's knife." You tell her with confidence.

"Holy shit - your soulmate is a cooker! Lucky.. mines a fucking idiot."

You snort. "Lucky you.. mine could also be a murderer." You shrug.

"Hot." Cheesebird wiggles her eyebrows at you. "Oh, dude! Remember that guy - Boogeyman of Haddonfield?"

"Yeah."

"Dude, they say he escaped some institution! They might cancel Halloween cause of his bitch-ass." Cheesebird rolled her eyes and leaned back.

"Ah, what a fuck. If it actually gets cancelled, you wanna come over and watch some movies? Maybe order some pizza?" You offer.

"Oh fuck yeah man! Thanks." Cheesebird laughed, clapping you on the shoulder once.

"No problem!" You say enthusiastically, punching Cheesebird on her bare upper arm.

"Ow! Fuck.. you whore." Cheesebird sucked in a breath.

You laugh, quieting down and patting ehr on the thigh. "Wanna go to the lockers? It's almost time to go. Like, 15 more minutes.." You say absentmindedly, gazing at the red blinking numbers.

"Oh yeah. Let's go." Cheesebird was ready to hop off. You count down to 3 to 1 and jump off the bleachers with Cheesebird, jogging across the court and entering the locker room.

soulmate chooses: wash face

I didn't even do shit, though? You shrug off the thoughts and get undressed after putting in the combination for your little locker. After shoving your gym clothes into said locker, you pull on your clothes, slipping on your shoes easily and picking up your backpack. You jog over to the bathrooms, go to the nearest sink, and splash your face.

You look up - the choices; grab a water or get a beer.

You choose water. Gotta stay healthy.

You wait by the gym doors for Cheesebird. And, hooray! She comes. Don't take that out of context.

Lunch speeds by. So do your classes. After school, you walk home with Cheesebird and say your goodbyes. You pull out your keys, inserting the key and unlocking the door.

You enter, closing the door behind you. You toss the keys on the stand next to the door and kick off your shoes, throwing off your backpack and jogging to the living room. You recieve a call from your mom. Saying that she was gonna be late. Maybe coming in around midnight or even later.

soulmate chooses: order pizza.

"hey cool."

And, you do just that. You call some pizza place with breadsticks, grab some money from your room and jog back downstairs. You watch Adam Sandler movies while you wait for the pizza.

The doorbell rings after 15 minutes of waiting. You jump up and run to the door. Opening it and seeing a cute pizza boy.

"Thanks." He salutes, recieving a tip from you.

You call back a 'no problem' and shut the door, placing the pizza on the table in front of the couch. You lie down, pulling a blanket over you.

soulmate chooses: take a nap.

You feel so.. tired now. Fuck it. Let's go to sl-

You awake. The T.V. off, lights out, and warm-ish pizza. You were obviously disoriented. You go to pull out your phone from your back pocket once you sit up.

The brightness blinds you - you quickly put it at a lower brightness.

You yawn, vision vlurry before it subsides and you quickly look over your notifications. A text from your mom 'hey honey, gona b stayin l8r than usual luv u'. You smile, rubbing your eyes and holding your phone with one hand.

You stand, flashing your flashlight. You drop your phone - gazing at the large figure in front of you.

"Who.. are you?" You take an anxious step back, you can feel a stream of cold sweat stream down the side of your head - from your temple. It was fucking disgusting. So.. so dark.

You see the glint from his hand - a knife. A knife. A knife. A knife. He has a knife. He has a knife. He has a knife. Run. Go. Run. Go. Go. Through the backdoor. Now. Fucking GO!

You turn on your heel and bolt through the living room and through the kitchen. Why did you even fucking ask that? 'Who are you' - like?? You don't know him, and he's in your house. Like?? You should've just pulled a knife. Just kidding! You would've been too fucking pussy to do that :\

You inhale and exhale heavily - otherwise known as breathing. You were really close to hyperventilating - but somehow, you slow down your breaths as you quietly slip through the backdoor.

All you wanted to do - you sob in your mind, was eat some fucking pizza - you heave, as you shuffle towards the backyard entrance, that lead to the front yard. And maybe watch some fucking pornhub.. all my plans.. ruined.

soulmate chooses: go back inside your house.

You choke. Eyes growing uncomfortably hot, your bottom jaw trembled as you clench your arms, hugging yourself. Was this - this fucking stalker your soulmate?

You did have control of your body as you calmly walk back through the gate. Your eyes well up, tears blurring your vision. You wipe the tears away and wipe them on your hoodie harshly. You trace therock trail that lead around the corner of your home.

You enter through the backdoor. Closing it behind you gently. You huff, and turn around.

You immediately make eye contact with large breasts that were covered by a dark blue fabric. A zipper in the middle and a single pocket.

"So.." You begin; voice cracking. You feel your face grow hot out of embarrassment. After clearing your throat and looking into the black holes of the mask that mocked a human face, covering the whole ass fuckin head of the tall, buff male, you instantly feel small. You rub your hands together, clenching your hoodie in your hands now.

"Uh.. what's uh - what's your name?" You come to a realization of how fucking stupid that was. Asking a large scary man what his name was - he's your soulmate! A part of you pleaded for some reason. Anyways, we live for the confidence.

You gawk at the man - wasn't he "Michael Myers? Killed - killed.. four teens back in -" you couldn't remember the year. All you could honestly think about the man that was looming over you threateningly. Where the FUCK was your mom?!?

He painstakingly slowly brought up a hand, and dropped it onto your shoulder. You feel tears well up in your eyes once more as you shake under his hold.

"H - hey.. aren't we uh.. soulmates? Sh - should you really be h - HOLDING me that tight?!" You squeak, now trying to pull away. "I'm - not fucking going anywhere - "

The Boogeyman brought up his other hand and let the hand fall on your other shoulder, the hold gradually getting tighter.

You could barely see his actual eyes, due to the not-so-bright moonlight. Despite this, you see some irises..

"I - i.. I go to school.. " You blurt, "I - I have a f - family."

He didn't respond. You get anxious quite quickly due to the circumstances. You feel your eyes well up as he fucking gripe you tighter before picking you up and throwing you over your shoulder like a dead body. His actions were clear - they said 'you aren't fucking getting away'.

He held you with one arm, caging you in over his shoulder. You sob softly, but couldn't help but admire his nice ass as he walked towards the front door.

what's to become of me?

You thought. You couldn't scream - could you?

You couldn't believe you missed Halloween for this shit. You could still see some kids - they would probably run away due to their fragility.

Fuck this. We are not fucking dying. We're soulmates. But what kind of fucking soulmates does this shit? I wish my soulmate was Adam Sandler.

michael: you the bitch thats been making HEALTHY decisions for me??

you: no..?

[childish-ish]

my mom wont let me get anymore monster :\

pairing: billy lenz x reader

aha, part two of that last one. also im not very good at part 2s if you can't already tell, anywas for uhhhhh @walt25​ this is for u chief

also sorry again if i butchered his fucking uhh personality, its how i now write him lmfao,,, him talking in fucking..... 3rd pov hehe.

requests open....,,,, pleaase,,,,, request a slasher... ... 

also michael x reader and jason x reader fics coming soon lmfao.

You had to be an absolute fucking idiot to not notice the signs.

I mean - you didn't notice it at first, because you are an absolute fucking idiot - but then you actually saw something - someone, rummaging around in the fridge.

Like any normal - sane person would, you quickly retreat to your room after seeing an unknown man in the kitchen. An actual man with frizzy untamed hair and all-black clothing, save for a dark green sweater. Did he even have shoes on? You didn't really care enough to actually stay and analyze the man.

Again, like any normal, sane person would do, you call the police. You didn't recognize the large body to be anybody of Kappa-Sig, so you immediately dialed the number of emergency - ahaha, just kidding!! You aren’t a fucking normal and sane person! What you do is actually get a camera and step out of your room.

Stepping down the stairs quietly in your socked feet - avoiding the creaky stairs.

Ah, but alas. Once you peek into the kitchen, the male was gone. You drop your camera - screeching in pain as the fucking thing lads on your goddamned foot. "FUCK!" You cried out, crouching and dropping to sit on your bottom.

The other girls were at school that day - some had free periods and doing whatever. You skipped. Knowing you would have to pay something to someone for skipping a singular day.

Later that same day - The Moaner called, shortly after you falling on your ass. You immediately crawled towards the front door and picked up the phone.

The conversation went something like this;

"what did you do to the baby, billy?"

"yeah what'd you do to the fucking baby, billy."

"where's anges, billy..?"

"ayo, wheres anges?! WHO THE FUCK IS ANGES??? you been cheating on me billy?? oh wait if you're mocking a voice of one of your parents - maybe even a babysitter or guardian. then.. anges is your sister. or friend?? dude o-m-g what im like, a detective doin' some detective work n' shit."

"y/n.. where's billy?" he asked in that wailing.. high-pitched voice.

"oh shit, you know my name? ion know bro.. wheres billy? wheres billy..?!" You repeat.

"billy knows what you did last night..." He spits into the phone. "pretty pink cunt. pretty cunt. pretty pretty pretty pretty..."

Anyways. You had called him a little bitch and he hung up. You guess if Billy really did know what you did, he would've had to be there to see it. Somewhere. LATER THAT DAY - Present time.

You had a little alone time despite being alone the entire day. you catch my drift?

You cleaned yourself up and had disposed of the towel you placed under yourself, not wanting to dirty or piss accidentally on your bed.

Soon, you were drawing on the floor, fucking around with waterpaints - when the goddamned phone rang. A string of curses fall from your lips.

As you took a single step outside your room, the ringing stopped for one moment, before starting up again.

Quickly, you step out fully and jogged down the hallway. Peering down the stairs to see a - well. That figure from earlier - from the kitchen. You take two steps down the stairs.

"AYO?" You shout, immediately putting up your defences. "you know, ive read about this somewhere." You narrow your eyes, squinting at the male.

"ayo - ayo chill." You take a stumbling step backwards as he twitched, falling onto your ass, your ankle rolling. You curse before peeking up -

"Oh FUCK - oh FUCK??" You realize, he was halfway up the stairs. Oh my fucking god, where were the goddamned other girls. School still? What time was it? Fuck you don't know.

"Billy.. Billy likes you. Billy likes pretty piggy. Pretty p - piggy cunt." He spits out the last letter.

"You know what Billy. I like you too. You're pretty chill." You let him come closer, dominate hand clenched in a fist by your side. You let him take a few steps closer. The deranged male looms over you. His peach.. sickly yellow skin. Crazy brown eyes peer into your own.

"billy knows what you're doing. billy doesn't like it."

You sweat under the pressure. "What the fuck - ?" You let the curse slip past by your lips as the male falls onto you. You scream in surprise as the male practically dry humps against your hips slowly.

Pushing him away, you hear the front door open.

"Y/n!" You recognize the voice as Barb. The male glares angrily into your eyes, a warning for something, then scrambled off you and quietly scuttles down the hallway. You wonder where he goes.

"Dude!" You shout out from the floor, before pushing yourself up. "Holy shit you would not believe what happened - " You pause immediately. You were sure he could hear you. You change the subject.

"Bro nevermind i’m going to sleep again don’t fucking bother me!"

"I'll tell the other girls then!" Barb called back. You see her wave lazily before she leaves your line of view.

You scrambled down the hallway, to your room.

Where this little goddamned fuck was fucking with your water paints. Once you had entered the room, his attention was solely on your figure.

"OI!" You whisper-shout. His eyebrows jump up in confusion. "Stop fucking with that!"

Billy leaps away, onto your bed. He bounces for a few moments before you drag your attention back to your paints. You immediately began to clean up.

Once finished, you turn your bitch-ass attention to little Billy.

“Billy. How’d you get in the house fool? Oh wait, if you were actually forreal rummaging through out fucking fridge then.. do you live here?”

“billy’s been here forever. billy doesn’t like sharing his house. billy likes you.”

“damn lmao. thanks chief. anyways don’t kill me or ill fucking fuck you over from the other side.”

“billy likes pretty piggy.” he said ferociously.

“cool. anyways,”

you begin to ramble on to the male, asking him questions here and there about why he was there and why the fuck didn’t he kill you, you got the same answers as before, going on and on as you lie next to the seated, criss-crossed legged male, an arm behind your head as you tell him about your favorite shit to do and such.

Soon, it was okay. Billy was chill enough to actually not kill you, he told you in broken words that he lived there like he fucking said before but you don’t listen lmfao, he had hung around you alot when you had gotten home from your classes, sometimes waking up to the male besides you when you wake - you had caught him watching you shower, and offered him a shower as well. With no hesitation, he stripped and hopped it, immediately groping your body as his tongue licked upon the skin on your neck. It was a weird - sexual yet friendly relationship. You literally had no idea where this was gonna go,

[childish-ish]

i accidentally threw away a monster can when i wanted to start a collection and make shit out of them :\

pairing: does it even count? it's not even that long lmao, billy lenz x reader, i promise to make a longer one that will maybe include smut?

tw: uh, offensive language haha

"Ayo.. the fuck my underwear??" - asking where your underwear went.

You blindly grab multiple handfuls of panties, looking for one specific pair that you wore almost all the time - (they were clean!!! you were NOT gross [youwere]) You could say they were your lucky underwear.

"OI! Barb!" You call, shoving the handfuls back into the drawer and shoving it closed with your crotch.

"Yeah!" She called back, swinging around your open doorway.

"Do you know what happened to my underwear? Like, you know the ones, don't you?" You offer a tight smile

Barb threw her head back with a laugh before leaning back forward and taking a drag of her never-ending cigarette.

"Your little teddy-bear undies?" She teased, pulling up her opposite hand to rub through her bangs.

"Oh put a fucking sock in it thin-lips, have you seen them?"

"No, dumbass, i would've told you wouldn't i?" Would she have? "You probably lost them, maybe going to some guy's house and lost them there!" She snapped, blowing her cancer-air towards you. You fan it away and stick out your tonge.

"l-m-a-oooh, ok thanks babe." You pointed to the door, squinting your eyes and waving your hand at the door in a 'get the fuck out' manner.

She saluted with another snicker before leaving the entrace of your room.

You doubt Phyllis and Clare nor any of the other girls would do something so supposedly heinous.. but.. maybe one of them did steal your underwear.

Fucking, thank whatever you worship the goddamned holidays are near. That means these girlies are setting off to their hometowns or just their home - away from this.. kappa-sig bullshit.

"Well." You let out a deep sigh, "Fuck it." You shrug, before pulling the drawer open and pulling out a pair of black, comfy high-waisted underwear.

You pull off your towel that you wrapped around your waist and lied it on your bed neatly before sitting down on said towel and then quickly slipping on your undies.

And, of course. You had already put on a bra and a huge ass T-shirt and what-not so Barb wasn't seeing you bare-chested. Not that you would've really cared anyways.

You decided to lie on your bed and stare at the ceiling, drowning in your thoughts. What would you eat for dinner? Where was your underwear? Why did you sometimes hear creaky noises? Why the fuck were you still here?

Before uh - before Barb shouted that The Moaner was on the phone.

Without an ounce of hesitantion, you jumped up and ran out the door half-naked. You jog down the stairs and see Barb and the others by the phone, giggling already. Well, of course not the OTHERS but Barb was giggling.

You lean over the railing, listening.

No girl really paid attention that you were half-naked. That was good! You forgot to put on pants, but you also didn't wanna miss the call since he only lasted a few - ten seconds. 15 at most.

"pig-cunt.." More of his odd, croaky laughter, "pig-cunt. piggy cunt." Then, more odd rambling you couldn't make out.

A shit load of snorting and oinking like a pig happend. A bit of, loudly licking his lips.

"suck my juicy cock." he dragged out, in a lower toned voice. You held in a laugh.

Then, laughing, kid-like laughter and coughing. A bit of screaming as well. Then quiet rambling.

"Let me stick my tongue up your naked -" You snicker, your dominate hand covering your smiling lips.

"ill come over and - and you can suck it! suck my fat, juicy cock! cum - cum everywhere!"

It was surprising that Barb didn't retort anything back to the man. She usually was front-center, ready to clap back. Well, your time to shine.

You lean down and offer your hand to Barb. Who gave you a questioning look but nonetheless gave you the phone.

As the male rambled on and on about 'piggy-cunts' and 'pretty pink cunts' as well, you leaned over the railing and held the phone to your lips.

"I'm sure those are just empty promises, but I'm willing to suck your fat juicy cock, homeboy." You grinned smugly.

It was quiet on the receiver's end. Nothing could be heard but Barb's laughter. You did nothing but snicker and recieve a slap to the arm from a smiley Phyllis. Maybe a smile from Jess as well.

"Come on, babe! You were so estatic to tell me about your fat fucking cock, have you got cold feet - now that someone's willing to give you a blowjob? What'll it be, Moaner?" You spoke into the phone. A smug grin planted on your lips as you eyed the ceiling.

"pretty - pretty pink cunt. pretty piggy cunt. piggy cunt. cunt full of - of cum. cu - cum!"

Phyllis gasps and Clare exhales deeply. Jess covers her mouth and Barb laughs once more.

"pig - you - you bitch-pig." Then, he oinked for a good while, you didn't think he would stop. But, he did. Just to tell you that he had a fat cock.

"sssuck my juicy cock." He whispered into the transmitter. You shrug.

"Damn it, babe." You sigh into the phone exasperatedly, "You're really makin' me frustrated with the way you aren't answering me. I hope you're into domination you little cock-suck."

You slap Phyllis back as she covers her mouth, failing to hide her laughter.

"i'll - i'll stick my tongue up your - p - pretty piggy cunt - pretty pink piggy cunt - "

"Well then! Ladies, if you dont mind leaving the house tonight - all of you, me and my beloved are gonna have a night filled with cum and cunts, if you wanna stick around and maybe masturbate to us feel free too - " que the gasps from the cute little girls from all around you.

You grinned, waiting for the male's response. More 'pretty pink cunts' and shit like that - but uh..

Nothing but silence.

"Oh my god! He hung up!" You laugh, weakly handing the phone back to Barb who puts it on the plungers.

"Awh, Y/n.. you really had something with him." Barb jokes, taking a drag of her cigarette.

"Oh yeah? Think he's gonna come and give me some of his juicy cock? Want me to share?" You teased. Lifting a leg like a girl in love hugging the man of her dreams as you lean over the railing.

"Oh, Y/n stop it! You're going to fall, now.." Jess fretted, before leaving to the dining room.

"Naah, i bet hes got some skinny cock. Maybe three- four inches?." Barb rolls her eyes, before swinging around the stairway, stepping up, one by one.

"You doubt the great Moaner?! What if he really has a fat juicy cock?!" You choke on your spit before bursting into laughter.

"Well then.. tell me all about it." You shrug, agreeing before heading back up to your room, with Barb right behind you.

Man, that guy was a riot! Is, i mean. Next time he calls you're gonna be the first, right by the phone waiting for his blubbering.

You lie on your bed, now dressed in clothing suitable for lying on the bed.

Shorts. Like - nice shorts. Not jean shorts - nor gym shorts. Pajama shorts. Fuck, what else would you wear to lay in bed comfortably?

[childish-ish]

I hope you write for Michael Myers, I just need him with a platonic gn s/o. Like, s/o is just 'oh u killed someone? Goodjob, bud, have some dinner' THEN CASUALLY PATS HIM IN THE BACK. Idk why but I need more platonic fics aaaaaaaa

YES I DO lmaoaoosnfkef im super excited my first ask!! i hope i dont disappoint!! im writing this at like 3 am lmaaoaosl!!!

that one guy with the blood on his clothes, you know him?

pairing: michael myers x platonic! gender-neutral! reader

You absolutely knew you were screwed when you heard the unusual stomping of possibly large feet. You shiver - you knew you shouldn't go up there. That's what most horror movies taught you.

You also knew that you probably shouldn't call out to the unknown being! But you did anyway because who cares. Maybe if you seem cooler than you already are, maybe - just maybe - they'll spare you.

Hm. You thought, what a nice thought! But.. press x for doubt. Ah, shit. What if the dude mudered somebody?! Ah fuck. What should i do? Ah FUCK WHAT DO I DO, GOD SHOULD I CALL THE POLICE?!

"Uhh.." You hear yourself say. "I, uh - I know you're up there! Uhh.. fuck. Do you want to - " You immediately pause. That was so stupid what the fuck me. Do you want to come down?? That was what you were going to say - but instead said this:

"COME DOWN OR I UHHHH EAT YOUR CHILDREN - "

You couldn't help but scream internally. You couldn't believe you just said that - actually, in real life. Why the fuck would you say that? The person probably doesn't have kids. Maybe they do - you don't know them - do you?

A loud squeaky creak interrupted you from your thoughts. You peer up, picking up your chin from resting on your purlicue to see a large man on the top step of your rickety old fucking stairs.

"Ahaha!" You laughed pompously, putting your hands on your waist, "I see you don't want your children to be eaten! Good choice! Come on down!"

Despite your easy-going-ness on the outside, you were sobbing disgusting-ly inside.

The man made no move.

You switch on the light to your right - how convenient!

The hallway and the stairs lit up.

That man was the boogeyman of Haddonfield. In your fucking house.

"Uhhh.." You trail off. Noticing the absolute fucking mess on his clothing - hm. What was he wearing? Some weird uhhhh fucking outfit that a guy fixing a car would wear, you suppose.

"I see you've got blood on your hands ol' chap!" You might die - but you might as well have some fun!

"Howza bout we go fix you up some dinner and get your cleaned up! Huh? Hows'sat sound?"

You got scared and literally almost pissed your pants when he stepped down from the top stair. He was threatening you wasn't he?

"I'm sorry!" You weep, falling into your knees dramatically. "Don't kill me! Take my money! My food! But not the cat - "

A shadow looks over you - your thoughts immediately- 'How'd he get there so quietly??'

"Uhh.." You trail off, before looking away from the creepy mask that mocked a human face. Kind've, at least - mocked a human face, you mean.

"So anyways, good ol chap! My good pal! You did so good on doing whatever you did, so how-za bout some thin-crust pizza??" You stood apruptly, newfound vigor and absolute confidence pumped through your veins.

You were absolutely astonished to see the boogeyman nod once - it was so slight you barely noticed.

"Aha! Well then! Follow me, good sir!"

The man dressed in the blue, grimy uh.. bodysuit? followed you down the hallway, and into the kitchen. Two pizza boxes were on the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"I got onions and mushrooms and stuff on one pizza, then i got one regular pepperoni. We shall feast!"

You had a small plate on the floor next to the island that had a small round thin slam of salami. Your friendly feline whom you've named Vore meowed and jogged towards the man behind you.

You watch as Vore rubbed themselves onto the boogeyman's legs. "Anyways. We shall feast!"

"Hey so," You swallow what you had in your mouth, almost choking on a large piece you thought you chewed, the boogeyman turned his head towards you, mask up slightly to reveal his lips so he could eat. You take another bite, chew quickly and swallow - "Why were you in my house? Were you going to murder me?"

The boogeyman didn't respond, but instead, took another bite of the thin crust pizza.

"I'd kill me too." You nodded with a chuckle, before taking, once again, another bite.

The boogeyman shook his head, opening his mouth to possibly respond - but he shut his mouth.

"Naah it's chill. I got a paper and pen on the counter besides you." You were eager to know what he was going to say.

Soon, the boogeyman was writing down some words.

He hands you the piece of paper, you rub your hands off on your pants before taking hold of the paper.

'i am michael no i did not come in to kill you i needed to hide'

"Ohh! Chill. That's cool." You hand him the paper back. He leaned over the counter - and began writing.

' i will be leaving.'

The paper said.

"Ah, damn. Really? Well, thanks for not killing me, you're a real one. Also! Good job on murdering! I don't care what you do - also uhhhh visit me? We're kinda friends now."

Michael placed the pen down and nodded - you gape, "Wait really? Cool! You know, I'm making some cookies tomorrow just for the fuck of it, you wanna come by, grab some and do what you need'a do?"

He nodded.

You salute him as he left through the hole in your fence. You sigh - closing the back door.

"What the fuck. I can't belive I'm actually friends with the boogeyman of Haddonfield now. This is so dope. Anyways. yummy fucking ice. yum yum yum crunch crunch."

You glance down at your cat, you was staring at you weird.

"I know. I'm a weird one 😔✌."