I hope you write for Michael Myers, I just need him with a platonic gn s/o. Like, s/o is just 'oh u killed someone? Goodjob, bud, have some dinner' THEN CASUALLY PATS HIM IN THE BACK. Idk why but I need more platonic fics aaaaaaaa
YES I DO lmaoaoosnfkef im super excited my first ask!! i hope i dont disappoint!! im writing this at like 3 am lmaaoaosl!!!
that one guy with the blood on his clothes, you know him?
pairing: michael myers x platonic! gender-neutral! reader
You absolutely knew you were screwed when you heard the unusual stomping of possibly large feet. You shiver - you knew you shouldn't go up there. That's what most horror movies taught you.
You also knew that you probably shouldn't call out to the unknown being! But you did anyway because who cares. Maybe if you seem cooler than you already are, maybe - just maybe - they'll spare you.
Hm. You thought, what a nice thought! But.. press x for doubt. Ah, shit. What if the dude mudered somebody?! Ah fuck. What should i do? Ah FUCK WHAT DO I DO, GOD SHOULD I CALL THE POLICE?!
"Uhh.." You hear yourself say. "I, uh - I know you're up there! Uhh.. fuck. Do you want to - " You immediately pause. That was so stupid what the fuck me. Do you want to come down?? That was what you were going to say - but instead said this:
"COME DOWN OR I UHHHH EAT YOUR CHILDREN - "
You couldn't help but scream internally. You couldn't believe you just said that - actually, in real life. Why the fuck would you say that? The person probably doesn't have kids. Maybe they do - you don't know them - do you?
A loud squeaky creak interrupted you from your thoughts. You peer up, picking up your chin from resting on your purlicue to see a large man on the top step of your rickety old fucking stairs.
"Ahaha!" You laughed pompously, putting your hands on your waist, "I see you don't want your children to be eaten! Good choice! Come on down!"
Despite your easy-going-ness on the outside, you were sobbing disgusting-ly inside.
The man made no move.
You switch on the light to your right - how convenient!
The hallway and the stairs lit up.
That man was the boogeyman of Haddonfield. In your fucking house.
"Uhhh.." You trail off. Noticing the absolute fucking mess on his clothing - hm. What was he wearing? Some weird uhhhh fucking outfit that a guy fixing a car would wear, you suppose.
"I see you've got blood on your hands ol' chap!" You might die - but you might as well have some fun!
"Howza bout we go fix you up some dinner and get your cleaned up! Huh? Hows'sat sound?"
You got scared and literally almost pissed your pants when he stepped down from the top stair. He was threatening you wasn't he?
"I'm sorry!" You weep, falling into your knees dramatically. "Don't kill me! Take my money! My food! But not the cat - "
A shadow looks over you - your thoughts immediately- 'How'd he get there so quietly??'
"Uhh.." You trail off, before looking away from the creepy mask that mocked a human face. Kind've, at least - mocked a human face, you mean.
"So anyways, good ol chap! My good pal! You did so good on doing whatever you did, so how-za bout some thin-crust pizza??" You stood apruptly, newfound vigor and absolute confidence pumped through your veins.
You were absolutely astonished to see the boogeyman nod once - it was so slight you barely noticed.
"Aha! Well then! Follow me, good sir!"
The man dressed in the blue, grimy uh.. bodysuit? followed you down the hallway, and into the kitchen. Two pizza boxes were on the island in the middle of the kitchen.
"I got onions and mushrooms and stuff on one pizza, then i got one regular pepperoni. We shall feast!"
You had a small plate on the floor next to the island that had a small round thin slam of salami. Your friendly feline whom you've named Vore meowed and jogged towards the man behind you.
You watch as Vore rubbed themselves onto the boogeyman's legs. "Anyways. We shall feast!"
"Hey so," You swallow what you had in your mouth, almost choking on a large piece you thought you chewed, the boogeyman turned his head towards you, mask up slightly to reveal his lips so he could eat. You take another bite, chew quickly and swallow - "Why were you in my house? Were you going to murder me?"
The boogeyman didn't respond, but instead, took another bite of the thin crust pizza.
"I'd kill me too." You nodded with a chuckle, before taking, once again, another bite.
The boogeyman shook his head, opening his mouth to possibly respond - but he shut his mouth.
"Naah it's chill. I got a paper and pen on the counter besides you." You were eager to know what he was going to say.
Soon, the boogeyman was writing down some words.
He hands you the piece of paper, you rub your hands off on your pants before taking hold of the paper.
'i am michael no i did not come in to kill you i needed to hide'
"Ohh! Chill. That's cool." You hand him the paper back. He leaned over the counter - and began writing.
' i will be leaving.'
The paper said.
"Ah, damn. Really? Well, thanks for not killing me, you're a real one. Also! Good job on murdering! I don't care what you do - also uhhhh visit me? We're kinda friends now."
Michael placed the pen down and nodded - you gape, "Wait really? Cool! You know, I'm making some cookies tomorrow just for the fuck of it, you wanna come by, grab some and do what you need'a do?"
He nodded.
You salute him as he left through the hole in your fence. You sigh - closing the back door.
"What the fuck. I can't belive I'm actually friends with the boogeyman of Haddonfield now. This is so dope. Anyways. yummy fucking ice. yum yum yum crunch crunch."
You glance down at your cat, you was staring at you weird.
"I know. I'm a weird one 😔✌."