Discover Top Posts Tagged with #sleep paralysis.

went to bed still thinking about ghost, so now I have ghost thoughts first thing in the morning.

ghost who's so rough looking and antisocial that sex becomes a hassle. not the act itself – he sure loves getting his dick wet. but the entire social ritual to get there. so he ends up turning to porn 9 times out of 10. porn won't make him buy them a drink before he can pull his dick out. porn can't say no or turn him down because he's so fundamentally unsettling. porn doesn't waste his time.

the result is that he becomes entirely impatient about people and extremely practical about his own needs. the thought of chatting someone up becomes increasingly exhausting, when he can just open his browser and jack off to strangers enacting his favourite fantasies instead.

but then there's soap, who's so confident and matter-of-fact, he doesn't seem bothered by ghost's utilitarian lack of grace. when they start having sex, ghost insists on keeping it rough, impersonal. it's partly because it's what he's used to by now, what he knows for sure will get him off. but it's also because if they fuck fast and hard then there's no time for soap to notice how uncomfortable he is with suddenly being with another person, after wanking to a screen for so long.

soap is no porn star. he fights, he complains when he's displeased, he does things his own way. once, when ghost tries to choke him on his cock without warning, soap bites down so swift and confidently, tears spring to ghost's eyes.

and yet it's good. it's better than good, it's the best sex ghost's had in a long time. it makes porn feel boring and he almost wants to hate soap for it. the thing is, he's too content for hatred, though.

#simon ghost riley #ghoap #ghostsoap #soapghost #ghost #cod smut #sleep paralysis.

gaz and ghost going to each other with their broken parts bc "price is our friend... but he's also our boss/the dad we want to impress". one time I saw a piece of art where a wolf and a lamb played together on a bloody stretch of grass titled "the shepherd doesn't need to know". that's dysfunctional ghostgaz to meee. except there's no clear separation on who's the wolf and who's the lamb. the only certainty is that they shouldn't be enabling each other like that and that there will be some bleeding one way or another

#ghostgaz #fish hook.#sleep paralysis.

I know not everyone fucks with this but I'll die on my ugly ghost hill. it isn't even just the scars. he was always a big ol rough looking lad. a face only a mother and soap mactavish could love

#every time ppl draw him like a pretty boy a demon gains wings and goes back heaven #which is a tragedy #sleep paralysis.

I drove past proxy soapgaz and now I'm here: ghostgaz where ghost wanted soap but never made a move and now soap's dead and he'll never get the chance. and gaz has made his move on price... and price let him down with a reticent but absolute finality. a grieving ghost is just mean enough to make gaz forget for an hour. and when gaz turns his face from him (is it disgust? shame? guilt?) it's just close enough to punishment to help ghost sleep better at night.

#won't tag it bc it's an unhappy post and it's a rarepair... but i know someone out there sees my Vision...#fish hook.#sleep paralysis.#the coworkers.

ALSO, and this is the one that will probably get me thrown out of an establishment one day, but: ghost has a buzzcut. he would not bear to have long hair chafing under that balaclava 24/7 and itching his scalp. he has a beautiful blond buzz cut that he shaves himself (maybe soap earns the right to do it for him eventually)

#sleep paralysis.

just saw one of the more recent posts and like, the only way I could imagine the boys going to church

Ghost: his father spouted religious verses nearly everyday, but his mum believed in God so much. He only goes once a year, and that's because his family is buried in the cemetery behind the church. He puts flowers down and drinks a cuppa no matter the weather.

Gaz: He goes with Ghost sometimes (ghost/gaz shipper here) but never actually goes to the graves. He sits inside of the church, looking up at the stained glass windows, wondering if the sins he's committed are truly unforgivable. Has he condemned himself to an afterlife of suffering? Is he even worthy of an afterlife?

Soap: Does not go. You couldn't drag him into a church even if he was unconscious. His rosary sits in his pocket, heavy and burning, but he no longer repeats a prayer before missions, no longer asks God to forgive him at night.

Price: Orphanage Price raised by nuns! He likes to think he's apathetic to the catholic church, can walk in and out normally, will work with the church if he has to. But inside? That little boy in him cowers when a sister raises her hand, flinches at the scolding tone for "taking the lords name in vain".

-🦴

GHOSTGAZ SHIPPER LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

gaz, who wonders and suffers about how far he's gone for what he believes in. and he does believe in their work. he thinks what they do is right... even if that word has lost some of its meaning somewhere along his path, and the line between right and wrong looks more like a long stretch of dark, choppy waters than an actual line these days. he sits here, hands clasped, hoping for repentance. for absolution. but the desire feels hollow, insincere. even as he grasps at faith for guidance, he knows the familiar deep, rumbling voice that echoes in his head, murmuring the cold, hard truths of the universe, does not belong to God.

and ghost, who's been so close to death he can still smell it on his skin some days, and yet keeps putting one foot in front of the other, keeps finding reasons to stay alive and do what he's good at, that he no longer agonises over the cosmic morality of what they do. he's died once already. he lost everything once and it wasn't the end. he's already been to hell, and it wasn't a fiery pit with pitchfork-wielding demons dancing around him. hell is here. hell is his father's hand around his neck. hell is a pool of his mother's blood beneath his boot. hell is this, standing in front of a tombstone knowing that as long as he's alive, all he can be sure of is that there will be more hurt. more loss. it's unavoidable. it's the cost of surviving while others don't. but he is long past envying the dead. he's found a reason to shoulder through this sea of uncertainty, to fight through this fucking kill box that is the world of the living.

#answered #ghostgaz #🦴#fish hook.#sleep paralysis.

grieving ghost (absurdly, unfairly) blaming a dead soap for not just knowing. for not just reading ghost's mind. how could soap expect a man like ghost to express his feelings out loud? why couldn't he just look at ghost and know

#sleep paralysis.

"I should live in salt for leaving you behind, behind" is ghost hating himself for letting soap die without knowing. to me.

it's even worse if he had actively lied and told johnny he did not love him. it's even even worse if they were fucking and ghost said he didn't love him and they kept fucking and ghost knew the whole time he was breaking soap's heart.

#sleep paralysis.