#slgen22

[bastardtrait]

my GOD, SHADOWLORD. STOP GETTING FUCKING SICK. they are truly not rich bro like we're talking less than $13k...

Robert: well I WAS planning on getting a jungle gym for you and your brother but if this is how you're trying to be...

Shadowlord: NYAH??!?

Robert: yeah, that's right motherfucker, nyah.

[bastardtrait]

i took a lookie pookie and saw that dexbear was old now! so i dressed them up for the victory lap. let's go f-slurs.

Dexter: *mwah* love u babe. shall we have a wedding vow renewal?

Barrett: i would if this was the wedding stories generation. but no. seems our player is a homophobe.

[bastardtrait]

working as a teacher was making robert go fucking insano.

Jamie: dad? are you aware that the answer key in your assignment is like...completely wrong?

Robert: jamie i'm gonna be so fr with you i got this off of google search results 10 pages deep.

fuelled by his midlife crisis, he chose to simply quit.

Robert: hey i quit. thank you so much.

Boss over the phone: Robert this is terribly unprofessional.

Robert, sobbing: I LITERALLY DON'T CARE ANYMORE

[bastardtrait]

it was a dark and stormy night...when sage and jamie had a joint birthday! they are not beating the identical twins separated by a few years allegations unfortunately.

i squeaked out a family photo of them on a nicer day and put it in the foyer. how nice.

[bastardtrait]

*debby ryan hair tuck* hey divas. so i don't remember what was going on exactly, but some update broke my game and made my old scooter save go bye bye. thankfully because i was still pretty early on in the save i just decided to keep it pushing. even though i lost my photos </3 alexa play no me queda mas by selena.

i moved them into a new house and i got them a second cat. meet death star. together with shadowlord they are fuzzyboyz.

[bastardtrait]

ioanna martescu came over.

Sage: omg hi!! are u from ravenwood? i've always wanted t--

but she was singularly interested in meeting the cats.

Ioanna: are you the one they call...shadowlord?

Shadowlord: mmmnyah.

Ioanna: i heard it was your birthday recently. i've scoured this entire massive country for you. here...i have a treat. (whispers) it's cocaine.

[bastardtrait]

anywheezer, sage's +50 sad moodlet expired just in time for his ya birthday! thank fuck, i didn't want him to die of emotions the moment he aged up like that idiot shaw lucky lmfaooo.

Sage: umm forget 'shaw lucky', we are talking about me rn? god.

well, that wraps up this generation. see you all next time!

generation 22: complete!

continue reading: generation 23

[bastardtrait]

me when death star came down with something and hyoin took him to the vet AND THE VET WOULDN'T SEE HIM BC SHE WAS TOO BUSY GUSHING OVER THORNE BAILEY?!

Hyoin: next time i think i'll actually just kill you. do you understand?

Thorne Bailey: my LAWYER will be catching up with y--

Hyoin: alright. seems next time is right now. well then.