#slug rants

[slugbeaker]

I've officially had 3 crashouts trying to write this stupid fucking paper so that means it's getting turned in with barely any adjustments from rough to final bc I DONT KNOW WHAT THE FUCK THIS PROFESSOR WANTS LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO WHO FUCKING CARES I DONT NEED THIS CLASS TO GRADUATE ANYWAAAAAAAYSSSSSS *lin manuel miranda voice* UH YUH YUH YUHYUHYUH

[shutupslug]

When people assume just because I get angry it makes me a bad person? Just because someone is SAD doesn't mean they're more fragile? Acting like anger is not a normal emotion is just as fucked up as acting like sadness isn't. (Minus crazy anger-issues ofc there's an exception for everything)

[slugfiend]

I feel like a soup of a person trying really hard to know its place in the world and people are constantly adding shit into it

[beaniebabeymoth]

I'm about to spam post bc I just want to post things to make me happy.

[beaniebabeymoth]

I went to prom last night at my friends' school and I saw the girl I like bc she also goes there and she was so cute!!! And she called me cute and told me I look very cute and I'm dying

[slug-kaiju]

IVE BEEN STEWING AND WAITING AND RAMPING MYSELF UP FOR THIS SINCE I LEFT THE FUCKING THEATRE TODAY AND NOW IM FUCKING FURIOUS CONGRATS, YOU DID WHAT NO ONE ELSE COULD FOR A COUPLE YEARS. YOUVE THROWN ME INTO A RAGE. AND YOU KNOW WHAT? A RAGE THIS WILL BE BECAUSE BY THE TIME IM THROUGH WRINGING YOUR ASSES OUT, THERE'LL BE NOTHING LEFT BUT FUCKING ASHES. FIRST OFF: ITS BEEN SIX FUCKING WEEKS SINCE I STOPPED WORKING THERE. I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MY FINAL PAY ON MY LAST DAY. I RESEARCHED THIS SHIT. ITS FUCKING ILLEGAL TO DO THIS SHIT AND GUESS WHAT? THERES HELL TO PAY AND IM THE FUCKING DEBT COLLECTOR. I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN MY FINAL PAY ON MY LAST DAY. I DIDNT AND BECAUSE THEY LET ME GO BEFORE MY TWO WEEKS WAS UP, THEY NOW OWE ME DAILY MINIMUM WAGE FOR UP TO THIRTY DAYS. OR AS CALIFORNIA PUTS IT "The penalty is measured at the employee’s daily rate of pay and is calculated by multiplying the daily wage by the number of days that the employee was not paid, up to a maximum of 30 days." (https://www.dir.ca.gov/dlse/FAQ_WaitingTimePenalty.html) GUESS WHAT MOTHERFUCKERS, YALL OWE ME AN EXTRA $300 SO SUCK MY FAT ASS. AND ANOTHER THING. IM FILING A FUCKING COMPLAINT WITH THE CALIFORNIA LABOR OFFICE SHIT. CAUSE IM OUT TO BURN BRIDGES BUT THATS OKAY BECAUSE IVE ALREADY CROSSED THEM. BUT YOU HAVENT FUCKING CROSSED THAT PAYCHECK BRIDGE, HAVE YOU?

[slug-kaiju]

So I work at a movie theatre and I'm leaving this job soon (one day moreeee) and today was my second to last day. I come in around 4:15 and I get set up at the concession counter. First customer I get, it's routine. Popcorn, drink, pay, done. Second customer I get, greet her like normal, she starts rattling off her order: a #3 combo, basically a large popcorn, drink, and candy. She says she wants a large coke icee in place of a fountain drink and I'm like, "hold up, there's no icee option but I'll double check with my manager just to be sure." She's like, "well if it says "drink" on the menu so I want an icee." I go back, check with my manager, she confirms that there's no icee offered with that combo so I'm like, cool. I go back to the customer, relay the news and I swear to god, it was like that scene in the Fellowship of the Ring where Bilbo turns all evil and shit for a sec, except she stayed like that. She says,"Well I need to speak to a manager because this is unacceptable. Yknow, you people shouldn't advertise the icee option and then not give me one"... So it's gonna be one of those days. Ummm okay I really don't care if you want a fucking icee. You're a grown ass adult and you're throwing a tantrum over a beverage. "Sure, I'll be right back." Go back to the office, managers ask what's up "that icee lady is demanding a manager." At this point, we were starting to get a rush so I went off to help my coworker with his order, but when I came back, she had cancelled the entire order (even though she basically had everything but that fucking icee) and decided on a large Diet Coke (of fucking course). My manager stepped aside and gave me a pitying look. THIS FUCKING DEMON HAG. She goes out of her way to be as fucking shitty as possible. I start making her drink and as I'm scooping ice, she's like "that's enough, I think you put too much in. Pour some out." I don't mind if you'd like me to adjust the ice to soda ratio. I really don't, I get it, I've got sensitive teeth too--but that don't excuse your rude ass. Didn't your parents ever teach you to say "please" and "thank you". Of course, because I'm a passive aggressive bitch, I overfilled her drink so the sides would be covered in soda and put the lid on in the way that makes the drink start spitting out the straw hole like a geyser. I didn't slam the drink down on the counter, but I didn't place it gently, either. And since almost no one wants their receipt, I balled it up and threw it away. But of course she had to be on my level too and she looked me right in the eye and was like "I would like my receipt." I was so done by then and she's literally the second customer. I'm not gonna dig in the trash for this nasty bitch, so I sighed deeeeeeeeeply and honestly considered if I wanted to keep my job two days more. I did of course. I need the money, and printed the receipt (y'know, the one that documented the sale of one large soda for $5.50) and left it on the counter. As I moved away to help out my coworker, she was like "I didn't like that heavy sigh you made". I smiled as best I could and told her "well, my day has been pretty long and it's only 4:30" and I looked her in the eyes and I hope she realised just how much I hated her in that moment. After she left, I was so fucking angry I was shaking and I really don't think I can deal with the "customer is always right" thing. I have too much pride and too short a temper to be put down by people who don't know the workings of wherever the hell you're working at and think they can treat you like shit. And another thing! I really wanted to find whatever movie she was in and turn on the lights and even if I ruined everyone else's experience, it wouldn't matter as long as I ruined HERS... But at the same time, I'm also angry at myself for being motivated enough by this witch to write so much and want to put so much effort into ruining her day. I feel I'm too ruled by emotions and the fact that I was willing to drag other people into my "conflict" in order to make myself feel better does worry me a little, but now that I've realised this, maybe I can make steps to improve myself. I guess I should actually be thankful to this awful woman for helping me better myself. Well, not thankful to HER, but thankful for the situation that made this arise, no matter how aggravating it had been at the time

[slug-kaiju]

It’s finally happening, I’m going to art school. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I am excited. It’s a new chapter of my life and gets me another step closer to the infamous “adulthood”, but I’m nervous as well.

 I don’t want to get there and find I’m the worst artist in my class or decide I hate it there or worse, don’t even have the same drive for art as I used to. Or what if I finish all that and end up not being able to get a job and end up working at the theatre all my life?? I’ve wanted to go here since middle school, so I’ve worked through my high school “career” aiming straight for this school. I need to take a language? No problem, I’m going to art school and it’s not required for either schools to graduate. The SAT is here? It’s fine, AAU doesn’t care about that. 

I’m just scared I’ve fucked myself entirely and that this will be a huge mistake that has left me and my parents in debt. 

And I feel like such a fraud. My parents are so excited for me and I say I’m so happy I finally made it and I smile and act like it’s all good, but I feel so sick and my hands feel cold and they shake and I feel like crying but I set myself up for this so I can’t just drop out now and it’s ridiculous at how good I am at discouraging myself.

Anyway, all I wanted to say was,

Is it bad that all I’m expecting from this experience is negative?