tbh one of the reasons I like (re-)claiming slurs (like queer) is that I hate the attitude of “I’m better than those people”. I’m here for the punk attitude of “Oh you think we’re trash? we’re shit? YEAH YOU’RE FUCKING RIGHT CRY ABOUT IT!”
It’s this way of turning insults around in a defiant way, to destroy their meaning, to defang them by wearing them as badges of (dis-)honour. Deconstructing the attemt to put value on some people and devalue others.
It’s the big middle finger to stifling politeness and respectability politics and assimilationism.
All that said, I also have visceral reactions against some slurs and would never use them, and I am very very passionate about respecting people’s triggers!
and also I don’t think you can know what someone’s political stance is just based on whether or not they use a reclaimed slur. (news flash: not everyone who dislikes the word “queer” is an assimilationist let alone a terf! Not everyone who does use it is a radical anti-oppression activist or even so much as includes trans people (sadly))