#queer word

[catlesboy]

Some flannel pride flags!

[ Alternate LGBTQ+, lesbian, gay, and queer flags under cut! ]

[xqueerneurosisx]

I’m actually super fucking tired of people thinking they own our whole community. Community is more than individual identity. It’s not your community!! It’s our community! Your identity is only part of the whole story. Queer is part of the whole LGBT+ community. That’s not going to stop happening just because your selfish ass can’t fathom other ideas than your own.

It’s not all about you!! Queer is on the wall, because people are queer, not because you personally believe it’s a challenge against your own identity, or whatever the hell. Fuck off and let our queer community be queer in peace.

[razrogue]

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Name: Raz

Gender: Cis female

Height: over 5'5" but sadly not my fantasy height of 5'10" 😩

Sexuality: bisexual, queer, Keanu Reeves with a bunch of puppies

Favorite animal: turtles

Dogs or cats: dogs!

Current time: 12:26

Dream job: getting to learn and experience life without being under the capitalist thumb

When I made this blog: 2015 I think? I don't feel like looking it up 😂

Why I made this blog: I fell head over heels for Dragon Age

Reason for URL: BFF inside joke

Followers: 455 😮 (I don't know where all of you came from but hi!)

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[catboyfeli]

the past few days i’ve been experiencing so much confusion and dysphoria towards the concept of nonbinary itself, and i think that’s part of why i used to oppose it??

it’s just?? i’m autistic so i take everything literally, so if someone identifies as their agab, but not the gender roles assigned to it, would they be nonbinary? what even is gender to most people?

i’m so loving towards queer cishets because, although i’m not cishet, queer attraction to men as a woman is a big part of my identity, and everyone has different interpretations of what gender is, so if someone experiences their gender as queer, but still identifies as it, wouldn’t they be lgbtq?

like, if a cishet man identifies as male, but does not conform to the male gender role, expresses himself femininely, experiences a disconnect from the male social role, and experiences attraction exclusively to women (or those who present as women), but in a way that isn’t the same as typical cishet men, would he be considered nonbinary or genderqueer?

people go on and on about self identity always being valid, but the second someone identifies as cishet and queer, they act like it’s contradictory. but heterosexual attraction and straight attraction aren’t the same thing?

people say lgbtq means anyone who isn’t cishet, but also talks about how cis individuals may identify as genderqueer, or something similar, to describe their connection to gender roles and social roles. so by that logic, someone can identify as cis + het and queer without it being contradictory.

it’s been on my mind a lot lately and makes me feel like bursting into tears because it’s so overwhelming and confusing and i hate how exclusionary and hateful the community as a whole is.

i just? i have one character i’m kin with, that goes beyond just having them as a character i relate to or find comfort in. he’s a cis man, but very feminine, doesn’t conform to the male social role in the slightest, attracted almost exclusively to women with a rare exception here and there for other feminine men, identifies as male but not with the male social or gender roles

i know it probably sounds silly to most people but for me, this kin majorly affects my identity and so often i just wonder? is he cis? is he nonbinary? i don’t fucking know??? sometimes people say nonbinary and genderqueer can also refer to one’s gender expression, and yeah, this character’s gender expression is 100% nonbinary. he doesn’t “act” like a man whatsoever and identifies more with women than with men, but still identifies as a man.

anyway the big problem is that i roleplay this character, and whenever i think about the fact that people would assume a straight man or lesbian wouldn’t be attracted to him, it makes me feel incredibly dysphoric, because like?? ok he’s male but he doesn’t behave or present male whatsoever, so yeah, some straight men and lesbians COULD be attracted to him because attraction goes far beyond gender identity and is affected more by gender expression than anything else

so this whole thing just makes me feel confused and dysphoric and i’m about to start my period so i’ve been real emotional and disassociative lately which makes me hyperfixate on this and it’s so UGHGHHGGHh.

it’s just so difficult to explain my feelings, beliefs, and experiences to others and it makes me so frustrated and upset.

i just wish? the community would come up with something to refer to actual non lgbtq people? instead of using cishet as a catch-all because it’s really not? someone who’s cis and het can still be queer in their experience with gender and sexuality, and although i’m neither, i’m still supportive due to my past confusion with all of this and knowing what i experienced was queer, but at that time, feeling as if cis and heterosexual best described me.

and plus now even if i was cis and het, my attraction to men and experience with gender would still be queer, regardless of my personal identity or attraction (or lack of) to women.

most of society sees gender as either male or female, depending on your sex or which one you want to transition to, and how you behave and present yourself is independent of your gender. which makes sense, but now i don’t know what i believe and it’s all so fucking confusing and some aspects of nonbinary enforce gender norms and others demolish it and it confuses and distresses the hell out of me

i just wish i had one person who understood my way of thinking, then i’d feel less alone and crazy, because like? a woman who presents as male can still conform to the female social role? gender expression refers to more than just presentation, and a woman who presents as female can not conform to the female social role. is that considered nonbinary or genderqueer? is that why people think i’m crazy for being supportive of queer cishets? is a person who identifies as their agab but has queer gender expression considered nonbinary or genderqueer? have i just been taking this “identity” thing too literally?

are gender and gender roles considered the same thing? because yeah, they are just about the same thing, but is that how other people view it?

typing this whole thing has helped a little with my thoughts but i still feel distressed and dysphoric as hell. i’m nonbinary, but still have a strong attachment to being female due to, you know, growing up as female and mostly conforming to the female social role, so seeing all this hate towards cishets makes me, by association, feel like shit, and seeing people constantly assume heterosexual attraction conforms to binary gender roles, makes me feel invalidated, invisible, and dysphoric. me being kin with a very gnc male character, who also experiences queer heterosexual attraction, makes it hurt even more and increases my distress and dysphoria.

like on tiktok? i saw some jerk say how “straight people shouldn’t use top/bottom” like??? first of all trans people?? second of all PEGGING?? like i said, i still feel strongly attached to being female, so this made me feel like garbage.

does the community consider those who do not conform to gender expectations as nonbinary or genderqueer? is cis used to refer to those who identify as their agab AND the gender and social roles that go along with it? am i the one who’s out of the loop?

feminine gay men (more specifically, mlm) are normalized in lgbtq spaces, but feminine straight and bi men when it comes to m/f attraction, aren’t, and are inherently assumed to conform to the male social norms. same with women, obviously, but i feel like it’s slightly more accepted with women.

even in bisexual spaces, m/m and f/f relationships are considered ‘superior,’ and m/f relationships are always assumed to conform to gender roles. by the lgbtq community, as well. people think m/f and het mean heteronormative, gender binary conforming. but it doesn’t. is there any sort of term or community for those who don’t conform to this? i’ve been meaning to make my own but i’d really rather not because i just don’t have the energy.

this is what i’m always talking about. this is why i thought so strongly i was just a cis girl that didn’t conform to the female social role. is my understanding of things just off? is being gnc considered genderqueer by default? and when i say gnc, i don’t mean a man who wears dresses or something, i mean men and women who don’t conform to the gender roles assigned to them because it’s who they are inside, not to make a political statement or whatever. i’m not gnc or nonbinary to make a political statement, i am because that’s just who i am.

anyway if i could just be a normal cis girl who isn’t exclusively attracted to femme men that’d be fucking amazing. sometimes i wish i was just a trans guy but even then i feel like i wouldn’t be completely happy since i’m just Not attracted to gender conforming men in the slightest. and yes, i’m bisexual, but lately it’s so rare that i’m attracted to women and when it comes to men, i’m exclusively attracted to femme men, not exclusively attracted to men as a whole.

so often i get jealous of trans men, gay men, and lesbians, and then i feel like an asshole because i shouldn’t be jealous but i am and i just wish i was one of them and not a fucking freak that doesn’t seem to fit any label or community properly. like my gay trans friend? i’m so jealous of him and i feel like an asshole. he has so much community and i have? nobody. i wish i was like him. i don’t know anyone who understands my attraction to exclusively femme men, and especially not girls who understand it. for a long time, you know, despite me feeling drawn towards the nonbinary label, i thought my lack of community of other women who understood how i felt and lack of representation, was why I felt that way, and I thus brushed it off as me being cis and confused.

knowing tumblr, someone’s going to see this and make fun of me or invalidate my feelings, as fucking always, so i don’t even know why i’m posting this. i just have nowhere else i can put it.

[meeresbande]

tbh one of the reasons I like (re-)claiming slurs (like queer) is that I hate the attitude of “I’m better than those people”. I’m here for the punk attitude of “Oh you think we’re trash? we’re shit? YEAH YOU’RE FUCKING RIGHT CRY ABOUT IT!”

It’s this way of turning insults around in a defiant way, to destroy their meaning, to defang them by wearing them as badges of (dis-)honour. Deconstructing the attemt to put value on some people and devalue others.

It’s the big middle finger to stifling politeness and respectability politics and assimilationism.

All that said, I also have visceral reactions against some slurs and would never use them, and I am very very passionate about respecting people’s triggers!

and also I don’t think you can know what someone’s political stance is just based on whether or not they use a reclaimed slur. (news flash: not everyone who dislikes the word “queer” is an assimilationist let alone a terf! Not everyone who does use it is a radical anti-oppression activist or even so much as includes trans people (sadly))

[sapphicseekingsapphic]

queerwomen18plus.tumblr.com

[loudidas]

i’m so tired of heteronormative assholes erasing the identities of actual queer people by praising them for their “allyship” when their past actions show that they are very likely a part of the queer community. stop calling people allies in a way to erase the idea that they might actually be gay, that’s literally homophobic

[xqueerneurosisx]

This one is gonna be a doozy, but I really need to say it, because I’m fucking tired.

Stop denying other people’s trauma from and struggles with oppression just because they’re pale skinned, and all you wanna do is call them “yt.”

Just because a white or pale skinned person will never understand what it’s like to be oppressed FOR the color of their skin does NOT mean they will just NEVER know what it’s like to be oppressed at all!!

And I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta say it: you’re not an ally to the disabled or queer communities if ALL you EVER say to them is “remember your privilege~” There is a time to say that, and the end of every fucking “support,” post you make is NOT it.

There are real people in positions of power denying that white privilege fucking exists and changing how history is taught in schools. The disabled and queer communities are already far more self aware than that! Stop fucking guilting them about privilege that they might only get one fucking shred of anyway.

And do not fucking twist my words. BLACK LIVES MATTER FIRST AND ALWAYS!!

It just doesn’t fucking help anyone to tell white and pale skinned people in other marginalized communities that they don’t fucking know oppression, when most of us in the disability and queer communities KNOW what the fuck white privilege is, and never fucking said we know what it’s like FOR poc in the first place! We just know what it’s like to BE oppressed, and no amount of “lmao ur yt.”/“yt ppl wanna be oppressed so bad,” is going to make that magically disappear.

I am just asking y’all to make accessibility more than just ~remember ur yt~ because remembering I’m white doesn’t do shit for us when you call “white bodies,” to me. Mine’s fucking disabled! I can’t even use it to shield myself!

Just to be clear here this post is NOT talking about Intracommunity calling out of racist stuff. I know that’s important.