#sm:confessions

[emilialuciasantos]

Confession: Emilia’s OnlyFans Account

Content Warning: discussion of NSFW content, mention of mental illness

Emilia created her OnlyFans account in the summer of 2017. Her initial motivation was purely financial; she was about to enter college and wanted to earn money, but was having difficulty finding a job. Emilia was diagnosed with anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder as a young teen, so venturing into the world of online sex work was difficult for her, but with the guidance and encouragement of a friend she made earlier that same year, she got her account started and started making content. Over the years, she’s accumulated several thousand subscribers. Posting adult content has become a source of empowerment for her, despite the fact that nobody on the platform knows her true identity. 

When Emilia first made her OnlyFans account, she was terrified at the idea of people-- particularly her family and potential future employers-- finding out. The solution? An alias. The alias she chose was Lucy Lovelace, “Lucy” being an Anglicized version of her middle name, Lucia, and “Lovelace” being an ode to adult entertainment actress Linda Lovelace. Her username on OnlyFans and the Twitter account she uses to promote her content is “lucyluvxox.” In addition to having an alias, she uses a VPN and never shows her full face in her pictures or videos. To this day, the friend who helped her out in the beginning is the only person in her offline life who knows about the account. 

[jackambrosemodeling]

Confession: Jack’s Alcoholism

Trigger Warning: Addiction, mental health, homophobia

Jack is an alcoholic. They’ve never said the words out loud, but they know it’s true. Like many young adults, Jack began drinking in social settings such as parties. Growing up, they had been told by their church that drinking alcohol was sinful, so they never even tried a drop as a teenager. Once they left home, got a job in modeling, and started going to parties with other models, however, they stopped caring about all of that. They figured they were going to hell for being queer anyways, so why the hell not? They realized that they liked alcohol, and drinking helped them not think about their batshit crazy family back in Wilmington. 

What started as an occasional treat at parties and big events became something they did more and more frequently as the years went by. They didn’t think it was a problem, they just thought being drunk was fun. However, their agent and close friends started to show concern after Jack started having drunken mishaps in public in the late 2010′s-- getting into fights at bars, getting into screaming matches with their partner, getting caught stumbling into bushes by the paparazzi, and a few close calls with the authorities. In mid-2020, Jack’s fiancé at the time completely cut drugs and alcohol out of their life and urged Jack to do the same. When Jack refused, their partner put their foot down and ended the engagement. 

Realizing that drinking was ruining their life and relationships, Jack made the decision to quit drinking as of November 2020. After going through a nasty withdrawal, they started to do things to try to improve their mental health such as going to therapy regularly and moving to a new city, Santa Monica. However, due to the stress of the upcoming Fashion Weeks and local gossip, Jack has been putting off their bi-weekly therapy appointments and feeling the urge to pick up the bottle again.

[thesantamonicatimes]

Confession: I lose a brain cell every time AJ says ‘deadass’. 

[thesantamonicatimes]

Confession: I hope he likes me as much as I like him.I don’t want to get hurt again

[thesantamonicatimes]

Confession: I want my crush to kiss me so bad.

[thesantamonicatimes]

Confession: What do I want for Valentine’s Day? Easy. To Get Laid.

[thesantamonicatimes]

Confession: I don’t need a Valentine. I have booze.

[thesantamonicatimes]

Confession: I want to give her the world but I can only afford one candy basket (maybe two).