It is 10:57 at night
We sit on the bus
Watching the city lights
I melt my body
To fit into your arm
Mold into your grasp
Your stare is fixated
On the book you just bought
Well, that I just gave you money to buy
You don’t hear when I whisper to you
You don't notice what I say
You don't notice me
I shrink myself closer to you
And watch you while you read
You do not see me
I study the way your eyes move
Pacing between words
You do not see me
I push my body into yours
You do not pull me close
My eyes glaze over
Staring at the city lights
I wonder the next time I will see you
Or if I’ll see you soon at all
I pull away at the thought
You do notice this time
You do pull me close
You do hold me tight
But you do not hold on
To the pain of solitude
Like I do
You do not hold on to me
Like I hold on to you
You know how to not get lost
In this big city
You know how
To not be swallowed whole
I do not know when to speak louder
Or when to make myself
Become something worth noticing
I only know how
To make myself smaller
In hopes that the lack of me
Is what will finally make you notice me