#smart alex

[janesurlife]

His whole segment was hilarious

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

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The Adicts –Bad Boy

[skysometric]

so it turns out most people don't have an internal dialogue and i'm only just realizing this...

early on with this very blog, i would make posts that were a dialogue between myself and a character called "Smart Alex," who would frequently criticize my life decisions and occasionally offer genuinely useful advice for getting myself unstuck.

whenever i made those posts i would get concerned questions from my friends asking me who Smart Alex is, if he was a real person or some kind of imaginary friend, if i was hearing voices... and i had to explain that no, i'm okay, it's just a portrayal of my anxious thoughts.

those anxious thoughts were a very real "voice" in my head, though – frequently at odds with my own internal voice, criticizing my every action and thought, and generally playing out exactly as written in those posts. an internal dialogue, if you will, externalized as a blogpost.

i've always had some kind of internal dialogue like this – sometimes criticizing, sometimes comforting – but never just one voice. i've never questioned it, it's just a normal part of living and thinking for me.

it turns out, this isn't normal. most people have ONE internal voice, an internal MONOlogue. the idea of multiple internal voices is difficult to fathom – hence, all the concerned messages about who this "Smart Alex" is.

this ties into another recent realization from May that i don't really talk about much: as it turns out, i'm plural. the gist of it is that i've started giving names and support to each of my internal voices so we can work together, rather than co-opting and fighting each other.

we still prefer to operate as a unit, one singular Sky, so that's what you can expect from us most of the time. but we're discovering how deeply plurality affects our lives: distinct Boy and Girl voices that make up our genderfluidity, self-criticisms that inform our anxiety...

and while "Smart Alex" is no longer a recognizable voice within me, it's interesting to see the seeds of plurality within – as far back as high school! – and that this internal dialogue truly has always been a part of how my brain operates.

anyway i wanted to post this because i've gone twenty-something years of my life not realizing that an internal dialogue is "weird." so to anyone else who didn't realize, or couldn't put it into words, i hope this helps you make sense of it!

and remember: just because it's Weird, doesn't mean it's Wrong. an internal dialogue can be a beautiful thing... when it's working together.

[tran5rightsos]

You take that tag on the british foods gifset back RIGHT now or so help me god -Alex Waytoofadedtodrive

the world needs to know the truth. daddy likes watching people throw up

[big-low-t]

The Adicts - Smart Alex

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

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𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔄𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔰 - ℜ𝔬𝔠𝔨𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔚𝔯𝔢𝔠𝔨𝔢𝔯

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

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The Adicts –California

[k-i-l-l-e-r-b-e-e-6-9]

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𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔄𝔡𝔦𝔠𝔱𝔰 – ℜ𝔲𝔫𝔞𝔴𝔞𝔶