#smh squad

[bittysthesis]

jack and bitty have a get together with their smh friends before their wedding and holster demands that he be allowed to read a toast he prepared and everyone's like yeah okay whatever let's get this over with and then he pulls up ao3 on his phone and does a dramatic reading of a jack zimmermann/eric bittle rpf coffee shop au

[bittysthesis]

SMH + Gaydar

holster: no gaydar. absolutely none.

ransom: no gaydar, but he doesn't need it. he knows if people are gay bc they either come out to him or hit on him

jack: has gaydar, but doesn't engage with it. developed a "don't ask, don't tell" mentality surrounding sexuality pretty early on :/

bitty: has gaydar, but not as good as you would think

shitty: is actively against the concept of gaydar, because it promotes stereotypes and takes away from ppl's authority on how they identify and who gets to know. also ppl just come out to him all the time anyway

lardo: has gaydar. knows too much

dex: doesn't have gaydar because if he can't see the gaydar the gaydar can't see him (later develops exceptional gaydar)

nursey: thinks he has gaydar but gets it wrong most of the time

chowder: great gaydar but he keeps it to himself

[bittysthesis]

*to any smh pairing* oh, you're a couple? so which one of you is the NHL player and which one is the fan that throws a live chicken on the ice during a game?

[lovebitty]

smh snapchat

Ransom and Holster send each other daily snapchat selfies but also just random stuff throughout the day Nursey only uses the Good filters and sends every selfie to Dex Dex draws on Nursey's selfies and sends them back Chowder loves. all. the. filters. Bitty and Farmer save a lot of them Shitty's favorite filter is the flower crown obvs Lardo takes super close ups of her art to where you can't even tell what it is. likes the animal filters Bitty's snapchat stories include his baking process, his walk to classes and uses the temperature thingy to complain when it's Too Cold. he also takes hella cute selfies Jack doesn't have snapchat but sometimes the others share photos in the group chat and he'll occasionally scroll through the chat to look at them

[piesnpucks]

Please, show me the team. I need to know that Ransom is not a coral reef. How are he and Holster handling being the As? Is Chowder loving being in the Haus (trick question, yes)? And what about Lardo? Can she tolerate a year with handling everything for these walking disasters?

[piesnpucks]

You know how the team has the Sin Bin to finance Bitty’s pies, since they make him (and lbr here, the rest of them) happy? 

I bet now that Chowder has dibs, they invest in a DVR. The Sharks, being on the West Coast, have home games pretty late in EST. Plus there’s always a high chance that he’ll miss one while everyone’s on a roadie. Everyone else can use it, but Chowder’s Sharks games are the top priority. 

[piesnpucks]

I hope my hockey sons (and Lardo!!!)  are having a good day. 

[lovebitty]

[[hah! that your family, kiddo?]]

haha. [[well…my old teammates.]]

check, please