these are all so great so questions for dayyys: 8, 14, 28, 40 (I, The Paradox or We Never Had a Choice?) :)
\o/
Writer ask meme questions
8. Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
I don’t really have favorites generally, so I just went back through margin notes on old fics. Here are a couple of paragraphs from a scene between Bucky and James in I, The Paradox:
“I…” Bucky floundered. Nothing he could say would stop the inevitable. “Maybe we could…”
“Don’t. Jesus, Bucky, don’t. We went through this song and dance. Nothing good’s gonna come from trying to change things now,” James’s voice was an insistent whisper Bucky couldn’t have ignored if he wanted to. Bucky had started to pull his hand away, but James caught his wrist, keeping him close. “I got to be me for a little while, but I was always supposed to be you, you idiot.”
“If that was true, this couldn’t have happened,” Bucky insisted. They were only just figuring this out, and in a universe that had spent an awful lot of time and energy shitting on the occupants of that bed, this probably took the cake.
“I. Was. An. Accident. You and I both know that. When you make a mess, you clean it up, and this is part of that.” It was a strange, heartbreaking thing to be talking about the end when he could still feel the heat of James’ skin.
It’s not really that I think it’s particularly clever or well written. It’s just that I’m always especially happy when I’m trying to convey something complex and it feels like it lands as intended. There is a somewhat common theme in fandom that Bucky is in some way broken for being what he is. I like that theme. I have been known to indulge in it. Putting him face to face with another version of himself with different life experiences was sort of a unique opportunity to look at that from a different angle though, and entertain the notion that coming out the other side of what he did and being different from how he was before the war isn’t broken at all.
14. What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?
This is kind of hard because worst for me is not necessarily bad advice for someone else. Mostly, I think the worst advice is this very specific genre where it’s labeled as “rules”. No matter how generally correct a piece of advice is, there will always be a situation where it’s not. The beauty of there being many writers out there is a diversity of voice, but that means not all advice gets equal mileage with everyone.
28. Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.
I hope you appreciate how difficult this is because I like so many, many writers and I want to celebrate all of them. Seriously, if you ever want recs, I have them coming out my ears. I went and looked through my AO3 history though. Here are the first three where I clearly liked one thing and then went and read a bunch more of their fics.
@jinlinli
Jin has such an elegant, provocative way with words. It lends itself incredibly well to the stories she tells. There’s a complexity of character and motive that I just can’t get enough of.
I like everything I’ve ever read of hers, but if I had to pick one to rec, it would be how cold steel is (and keen with hunger), especially if you like character study. It’s haunting and so, so well done.
@yetanotherobsessivereader
Okay, first of all, everything she writes is delightful and really well rounded. Her dialogue and character dynamics are fun and feel very true to character.
Before I make this rec, full disclosure. She has tons of works that are sweet and funny and fluffy. Go read them. Seriously. This one just happens to make my angst loving little heart happy. I’ve probably read there is a tavern in the town (and there my dear love sits him down) at least five times.
@leveragehunters
So, before I got into Cap fandom, I’d always stuck to canon/canon divergent fics in the corners of AO3 I hung out in. Not out of any particular bias against AUs. I just didn’t really understand the appeal.
Then, someone recced me this one really fantastic fic by this author and I was hooked. Leveragehunters writes a lot of my favorite forays into the supernatural.
I think if I were going to rec one fic, it would be True North. It turns out I have a major weakness for the soulmate trope, but what I like about this is that it sort of flies in the face of what I tend to think of in terms of plot. It strikes a really lovely balance between fate and agency and is just all around great.
40. Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).
I’m going to sidestep I, The Paradox because it would spoil the next piece of the story. Instead, here is how We Never Had a Choice was originally outlined to go. Under a cut because I’ve rambled on so long already.
Originally, very little of the relationship development you see in the fic was intended to happen. Bucky going after Steve to save him was meant to really be the first hint that he’d moved past how their paths crossed in the first place. They were going to part ways, and Bucky would go home only to realize there was no place where he fit now, and the story was going to end with him tracking Steve down to where he was volunteering with some much more legitimate activist group out actually helping people.
That, however, requires so much context to make sense. Instead, I’m going to give you the ending I wrote before the current one. All you need to know is that nothing after the police station happened in this version. They got in the car and got back on the road, eager to put as much space between them and what happened as they could.
“What do you want to do?” Steve asked around the lump in his throat. He had no right to hope for anything, but the fragile feeling stretched its wings anyway.
“You know? No one has ever asked me that.” From the corner of Steve’s eye, he could see Bucky fidget, his hands clasped in his lap. “It was always whatever was best for the family. I was just an accessory.”
“Was, being the operative word there, I think.” Steve’s stomach felt like rot, but he made himself offer up the very last thing he wanted. Bucky deserved at least that. “I can take you home if you want.”
“It’s not home. It’s just a big, fancy house with some people in it I’m not sure I know anymore.” Bucky turned his head away to look out the window into the night, or maybe to hide his expression. “I’d rather just forget the whole thing ever happened.”
There was no doing that, of course. Steve ignored the traitorous voice at the back of his mind reminding him that he was part of what had happened. “All of it?”
Bucky didn’t answer for so long that Steve could only assume the worst. He kept driving, even though his heart was in a vice grip. If Bucky wanted to go somewhere, Steve would get him there, and if Bucky wanted him to leave… he would go.
“Well, not all of it. Just everything after the elevator.” Bucky was looking at Steve again, the impish twist of his lips defying their circumstances. “In fact, I think I know what I want.”
Steve wasn’t sure how Bucky could joke about that given the awful thing he’d done. Come to think of it, maybe that was exactly why. If they could joke about it now, it was less of a smudge on who they became. It wasn’t a trick and Steve knew that, but he couldn’t help the nervous thumping of his heart as he asked. “What’s that?”
The smirk Bucky had offered up before bloomed into a warmer smile that eased the tension in Steve’s spine. “A do over.”
