#smoke-out

[littlenibblers]

Happy National Great American Smoke-Out Day!

Thursday 20th November, 2014 

Who’s the most famous smoker in all of America, nay, the world? No, not Snoop Doggy Dog Dang. Popeye. He always has a big fat pipe hanging out of his lop-sided mouth, the filthy lung bag. And what does Popeye love to eat? Olive’s box. Sorry, boxes of olives (fact checker please), and spinach.

We did a bit of improv based on the suggestion ‘smoker’ and ‘spinach’ - we’re improvisers, we improvised that line – and made a fat chicken rolly-spliff. Flatten out a piece of chicken, or turkey like a paper, spread a spinach, mozzarella, parmesan and sundried tomato paste across it and roll it up and smoke (cook) it in an oven for forty minutes or something. Improvise.

We assume that in order to have a real ‘Great American Smoke-Out’ you need an actual smoker, and an American. But we live in a third floor apartment and am British. The closest we came to a smoke-out was when Nicola set fire to three tea towels when trying to make a cup of tea. English Amateur.

Our chicken rolly doobies were a hit (SMOKING PUN) although the guy on the right looks like he might have gone into a bit of a k-hole.

Don’t lead us ashtray (SMOKING PUN)

I used to smoke fish in the house…until it gave me a lung tuna. 

[rhymesandlyfe]

You know you smoke heavy when youre the only one who doesnt cough after bong rips

[adahm]

lololol

[xgwhistory-blog]

RVD's Smoke-Out: The GCW version

Welcome to The NEW Smoke-Out with RVD! The Smoke-Out has returned!!!!! Tonight, Highlights of GCW Summerslam! Interviews with Al Snow and King Haku! RVD's response to recent allegations! With Mr T and the A Team Band! And More! Now, Here's Your Host...ROB VAN DAAAAAAAAAAM!!!! ::The House Band version of "Bring the Pain" by MSI plays as RVD walks out in a nice suit. The crowd cheers him while he smiles and bows to them. When the cheers die down, RVD begins to speak.:: RVD: Hello and welcome to the Smoke-Out with Rob Van Dam...that's right, I brought it back. For those of you who did not recieve EpW's Television Network, the Smoke-Out and my other show Frontin' were it's highest rated shows. So the higher-ups at GCW begged me to bring back the Smoke-Out, to help promote the company, and I said what the hell. I'll do a Smoke-Out every here and there, whenever I have time in my busy schedule to show up and film an episode. Tonight, it's a special Summerslam Post-Show Edition of the Smoke-Out! We'll be talking to the GcW World Heavyweight Champion Al Snow, the 2004 King of the Ring Haku, we'll see highlights of the show, and much more! But first, I'd like to introduce you to Mr T and The A Team Band!!!!! ::Mr T is shown breakdancing while his band plays a fancy number. The camera then shows RVD sitting at a desk:: RVD: That Mr T sure can dance...Anyway, last night GcW held it's first Pay-Per-View, Summerslam. And the first ever GcW World Heavyweight Champion was crowned!!!! SmokeOut correspondent Ron Burgundy is with the new World Champion, Al Snow, right now... Ron Burgundy: Good evening GCW, I'm Ron Burgundy...Tonight I'm here with the new GCW Champion, Al Snow. Al, I'd like to thank you for taking the time out of your busy schedule to talk to me. Al Snow: Any time Burgundy, any time... Ron Burgundy: How do you feel about winning the Elimination Chamber and becoming the first GCW World Champion? That match featured the top 10 wrestlers in the business! Al Snow: Beating 10 of the greatest wrestlers in the business wasn't an easy task Mr. Bundy. I've trained for hours, ate countless of raw eggs and had a lot of unprotected sex. Legends aren't created they're born and I just proved it by adding another World Title to the list. Ron: Yes, you have held the World Championship of almost every wrestling federation to ever open it's doors. Amazing. What do you wish to accomplish as GCW's Champion? Al Snow: Well the first thing I did after winning the Championship was go to Disney land but Minnie Mouse wouldn't put out....fuckin' slut. Just like I did in every other promotion, I'm going to hold onto this title for as long as I can. If anyone out there wants to try to take it away from me than be my guest but be warned...it isn't going to be easy, just ask RVD, Hall, Kurt Angle, Lawn, Vic or any other superstar that stood in my path. Oh and if all else fails I'll use it as a party trick. Ron: Raven came VERY close to defeating you toward the end of the match, do you think he deserves a title shot down the line? Al Snow: Sure. As the fighting Champion that I am, I encourage him to try to win a contendership so that he may have a second chance. Hell I owe it to him, he gave me a title shot when he held the EPW Title. Unfortunately I had to do what I do best and take that Title away from him. Ron: Understood. In EPW you had some brutal matches with RVD, Scott Hall, and Triple H among others. Do you plan to continue having brutal, hardcore matches in GCW? And do you feel that your wars with the aforementioned three men are over? Al Snow:  You can't just stop having hardcore matches. When I challenged Hall and RVD to those violent matches I did so to end their careers. When they put Rob Black in a wheelchair I promised him the death of H8 Club and thankfully I was able to do so. RVD, Hall and HHH are safe for now but if they pull any monkey business with me then I'll have to make then swallow some glass again. Ron: I know I'm not the only one who would like to see you go to war with them again, those were some classic matches! Anyway, there are a lot of rising stars in GCW right now. Which midcarder or high midcarder, if any, do you think has a big future in GCW? Al Snow: Hmmm...::takes out his list of groceries::...I think Tajiri, Stevie Richards, Drew Dering, Goodfather, Shawn Hacaga can all make an impact in GCW. Ron: Good call, Champ. Now a question I've been meaning to ask you since the day I saw you...............What is your favorite episode of Family Matters? Al Snow: Tough one. The one where the Fonz meets Mork. Ron: That's Happy Days, Family Matters had Urkel. Al Snow: Ohhh damn, I didn't watch that show. Unless....Nope. That was Full House. Ron: Yeah it wasn't very good. You seem to have a major rivalry going with Mr Perfect lately. Care to talk about him? Al Snow: Mr. Perfect is an egotistical faggot who enjoys anal fucking the elderly. If he didn't have such a big fucking mouth than I wouldnt want to punch his fucking face in. Other than that I think he's a nice guy who's currently living in the closet. Ron: Harsh, very harsh. Al Snow: The truth hurts. Ron: Is there anyone in GCW that you look forward to facing down the line? Al Snow: Well...there's Raven, Scott Lawn, RVD, Hall, Kurt Angle, HHH, Vic Jericho, Edge...the list goes on and on. ::takes out a bottle of scotch and drinks from the bottle:: Ron: DID YOU STEAL THAT FROM ME?! I love Scotch! Al Snow: Nah...unless.... Al Snow: Nope. Alcohol wouldn't be hiding under your studio desk.::gulps more of it down:: Ron: You've caused me to go on an alcoholic tirade. And now I need to go buy some more scotch. So I'm going to wrap this interview up. Do you have any final words for us? Al Snow: Yes, have lots of unprotected sex with me. If you're a woman with breasts and a vagina then please feel free to stop me in the street and ask for my fucking stick. Also, Mr. Perfect you've fucked with a crazy matha fucka. So enjoy your little S&M games with elderly men because once I get my hands on your gressy hair I'm going to make myself a pair of Jackass boots. Now good'day...::Snow breaks the bottlle across of the desk and throws the neck into the crowd:: Ron: Thanks Al, I love you. Al Snow: Me too. I think. Nope. That was just the alcohol talking. RVD: That was Ron Burgundy with the GcW World Champion, Al Snow. Now yesterday, I saw some really fucked up shit on TV. I'm going to go on a little rant here, because what I saw pissed me off. My wife, Christina, spreading lie after lie about Rob Van Dam. And Kurt Angle, talking about how he's fucking her, as if that matters to me. I was pissed when I found out Shannon Moore was fucking her. I was a little mad when I found out CVD was whoring out to the EpW locker room. Kurt Angle, once again you're like that dorky little kid in school who finds out about the newest trend, and then when he finally starts to follow it, it isn't cool anymore. You're a little late man, you're fucking the loosest whore in the business. And you aren't ruining my life at all. What did you take from me? The house I bought to live in with Christina? You're an idiot, I'm a multi-millionaire. I've been headlining events for years, making movies, TV shows, and I have a few private businesses I can't talk about. That house means NOTHING to me, I have mansions that Christina doesn't even KNOW about, all across the world! Or did you mean you ruined my life by taking Kid Lightning away? Ohhh man, I'm really going to lose sleep over that little monkey. Burning a bag of my weed? I grow FIELDS of that shit down on my estate in Mexico. You sure as hell didn't take my Angels away, I got rid of them months ago, and my marriage to Christina hasn't been good in years. I would dispute you signing the divorce papers for me, BUT....I just found my lawyer's briefcase, and the Prenumptual Agreement. So Christina, you can keep that shitty ass house I bought for you, but you aren't getting ANYTHING else! So use all the money you have right now, to buy suits for whatever wrestler who's salad you're tossing this week, and buy him all the cigars he wants too, do whatever. I really don't care, because you don't get another dime out of me. I'm sure that pretty little ass of yours can make some money walking the streets when my money runs out. Angle, you did NOT make me tap...I passed out from the pain. And the only reason you got the hold on me, was because I flew from across the cage, at about 60 mph, into the other end of the cage, and a steel chair, because Scott Hall moved out of the way of the VanTerminator!!!! The way that fucked me up, even John Williams could have gotten a pinfall or submission over me after that. Kurt, the next time we meet, there won't be a cage for me to crash into. There won't be any of my other enemies around to distract me. And the ones you've gotten to betray me...it's about time I start taking them out...Now there's one thing I saw Christina say, that was so hilariously untrue that I was on the floor laughing for nearly an hour. CVD claims that she's the only girl I've ever had sex with, and that I was a virgin before I met her. Now instead of arguing this crazy accusation, I'll let this Public Service Announcement do the talking for me.... ::A Parody of A Walmart Commercial Starts to Play:: "RVD's dick was like a drug, I couldn't give it up" - Stephanie Bellars, RVD groupie since May 2000 "RVD penetrated all 3 of my holes" - Trish Stratus, RVD groupie since Summer 2000 "RVD made love to me in his limousine. RVD let's get married." - Punkin, RVD groupie since 1999 "RVD once fucked me for three days straight" - Bobbi Billard, RVD groupie since 2001 "RVD and I had sex while Justin Timberlake was hanging out with Vic Jericho" - Britney Spears, RVD groupie since 1998 "I wish RVD knocked me up instead of some black guy" - Sable, RVD groupie since March 2000 "RVD had sex with every girl in my sorority" - Elise Carmen, RVD groupie since Summer 2001 "RVD fucked me at an ice cream parlor....mmmmm 31 flavors" - Major Gunns, RVD groupie since October 2000 "RVD made me cum in every color, like a rainbow" - The Kat, RVD groupie since July 2000 "RVD's sex was so good that I left Randy Orton" - Stacy Keibler, RVD groupie since October 2003 "Sex with RVD ruined my relationship with Tastay, but boy was it worth it" - BossChick, RVD groupie since November 2000 "I need RVD's dick! To substitute for not having it, I have turned to heroin" - Kim Kanner, RVD groupie since September 2000 "RVD <<<<<<<<<<<CENSORED>>>>>>>>ck" - Jenna Jameson, RVD groupie since June 1996 "RVD fucked me and two other girls at the same time. RVD, call me! PLEASE!!" - Foxy, RVD groupie since October 2000 ::Walmart music plays in the background as the PSA ends:: RVD: I think that says it all. Christina VD is a lying slut. Christina, the only reason I refused to have sex with you for so long, was because I had to do a thorough background check on you, to make sure you weren't infested with more AIDS than a small African country. Now, Ron Burgundy again, as he interviews The 2004 King of the Ring, King Haku!!!!! Ron Burgundy: I am outside of King Haku's hotel room. Instead of knocking on the door I'm just going to walk in! ::Ron Burgundy walks in, and Haku is laying on the bed, with a hooker straddling him. The hooker sees Ron and screams.:: Ron Burgundy: HEY THERE!! CAN I INTERVIEW YOU FOR THE SMOKEOUT?! ::The hooker jumps off of Haku...Haku yells "BLUEBALLS," grabs her neck and rips her head clean off. Blood starts to pour everywhere.:: Ron Burgundy: OH MY...This is Ron Burgundy, take care of yourself GCW! RVD: I guess it's good to be King....AND NOW THE ROSS REPORT!!!!! ::Jim Ross is shown sitting at a desk:: Jim Ross: Two men who once ruled the Tag Team ranks could be in the GcW Tag Team Title Tournament. Could a Test and Mustafa reunion be in the works?! Jim Ross: I see a lot of future stars currently in GCW and all will be elevated accordingly. Patience is the key here, just enjoy the feuds you have now, and make them good. If you impress the higher-ups, you will be rewarded. Jim Ross: Damnit, where's my HAT?! ::JR storms off the set:: RVD: What a bitch...That about does it for the first episode of the GcW Smoke-Out...I promise more fun in the future episodes, I was just in a rush to get this one done. Stay tuned in 2-3 weeks for Episode 2 of the Smoke-Out!! And don't miss GcW Super Thursday, Thursday Night at 7 PM Eastern Time!!!! Last but not least, DOWNLOAD GCW RADIO!!! YOU WILL NOT REGRET IT!!!! I leave you with highlights of GCW Summerslam. ::Highlights of Summerslam show D Rob winning the Hardcore Title Battle Royal, Eddie Guerrero pinning Vic Hombre to win the TV Title, Stevie Richards pinning Drew Dering with a small package and then losing to Haku, Xpac hitting the Sky High to pin Shelton Benjamin and retain the IC Title, and all the eliminations in the Elimination Chamber, including the missed VanTerminator and Piledriver off the Chamber through the Ring. The final shot shows a bloody Al Snow posing with the GcW World Heavyweight Title::

[xgwhistory-blog]

RVD's Smoke-Out, Episode 10 (EPW Finale)

::The show opens with an RVD Tribute Package. Highlights include  the 100 Point Deathmatch Super Vandaminator to Chris Jericho, The Triple Threat standing in front of Sid as he's being hung from a truck, a Five Star Frog Splash off the Golden Gate Bridge, RVD and Scott Lawn's Japanese Deathmatch, RVD and Vic Jericho knocking each other out at Armageddon 2000, The RVD/Corino Burdens Matches, The Hate Club beating down on Matt Hardy and breaking his nose, a Super VanTerminator to Savio Mavio in a Steel Cage, and RVD hitting various Vandaminators on Christopher Daniels, CM Punk, Stephanie Bellars and others, then finally a montage of RVD winning the UcW World Title, The EcW World Title, The XpW World Title, and a picture of RVD and Al Snow standing face to face in the Wargames Match, before attacking each other with left and right hands to the face.:: Welcome to The LAST Smoke-Out with RVD! Tonight, An Interview with Rob Van Dam! The news with EpW's finest!  Lifestyles Q and A with Dr Canada! Word Association With Griff! A Preview for the Suckcock Holmes TV Movie! And More! Now, Here's Your Host...XPW Champion, ROB VAN DAAAAAAAAAAM!!!! ::"Bring the Pain" by MSI hits the PA system, and the studio audience bursts into cheers. RVD walks out the entranceway wearing a suit, and his XPW World Title. He sits down at his desk, and looks into the camera.:: RVD: Welcome to what will be the Final Episode of the Smoke-Out with yours truly, Rob Van Dam. I've decided to end the show because it's become a chore to do, and none of you deserve to see me this much anyway. Plus I have to spend all my time training for my match with Al Snow at EpW Starrcade. Oh yeah, Savio Mavio...you only beat me on Monday because I had such a bad concussion that I couldn't see straight. I thought I was wrestling Mark Henry! If I hadn't been attacked on the roof, I would've beat your ass worse than I beat Mikey's...Well, as always, to start the show will be an interview done by Reginald, this time with me, Rob Van Dam. Reginald: Hello, I'm Reginald Van Dam, here with my brother, Rob Van Dam, as he is going to be my final interview, because this is the Last Smoke-Out. Rob, thanks for joining me. Rob Van Dam: The pleasure is all yours, Reg. Reginald: So, tonight's the final episode of the Smoke-Out...Why are you ending the show? Rob Van Dam: The show had an alright run, it just became a chore to do it. When I first took over the Tonight Show, I thought it would be more fun. Besides, I have to concentrate on more important things. Like Pimpin', and the EpW World Heavyweight Title. Reginald: Are you giving the show to anyone? Rob Van Dam: Why would I do that? Anyone else would screw it up, no one can fill RVD's shoes. Reginald: Speaking of the EpW World Heavyweight Title, you have a shot at Al Snow, at EpW's December Pay-Per-View. How are you preparing for this? Rob Van Dam: I've been training harder than I have in a long time. Normally, Rob Van Dam doesn't have to train. I'm in better shape than my opponents as it is. But after losing the Burden's 3 to Raven, and Last Man Standing to Savio Mavio, even though I came close to winning, I didn't win. Al Snow will be a tough opponent. He probably won't even be 100%, but he'll give me the fight of his life. He hasn't faced anyone like Rob Van Dam before, but after that war he had with Scott Hall at Survivor Series, no way is he gonna give up the EpW World Title without a fight. But if it's a fight he wants, it's a fight he'll get, and RVD will fight him like no one else ever has. Reginald: You were in Japan for a year before you came to EpW...but you never talk about it. What happened? Rob Van Dam: No comment. Reginald: What EpW Superstar...or Superstars...do you look forward to feuding with in the future? Rob Van Dam: I don't care, I'll take on whoever steps up...and I'll send them right back down. Reginald: I'd like your opinions on a few people, since this may very well be your LAST interview... Rob Van Dam: Alright, go ahead. Reginald: Al Snow. Rob Van Dam: Fucking asshole has been in my way for 3 months. Well now I'm coming for YOU! And I'm gonna plow you down to get that EpW World Title of yours. Reginald: Scott Hall. Rob Van Dam: Scott Hall is the only man in EpW that I do not hate. He's the best partner I've had in my lengthy career. Mr Ass was cool and all, but he was more into the bitches and booze. Hall knows how to get things done, he saves the bitches and booze for AFTER the show. Reginald: Savio Mavio. Rob Van Dam: Savio Mavio is meant for big things...the biggest being me kicking his teeth down his throat when I'm done with Al Snow. No one knocks out RVD and gets away with it. Reginald: Vic Jericho. Rob Van Dam: Vic and I settled our problems years ago, in our Armageddon 2000 Match. Then I smoked him up. Scott Hall's gonna kick his ass though. Reginald: Matt Hardy. Rob Van Dam: Matt Hardy? Why was his name even brought up? He's been in hiding ever since I came back. I fucked his girlfriend and he didn't even care. Same with Edge, he hasn't shown his face since Wargames, when Hall and I caved it in with a chair, and re-formed the Hate Club. Reginald: Kurt Angle. Rob Van Dam: Kurt Angle has come up in his career. Angle has the talent to one day be a huge star in this business, one of the best. And he runs a great company. But I've gotta say, the XPW World Title looks a lot better around my waist than it did around his... Reginald: Raven. Rob Van Dam: I'm not gonna deny that Raven took me to my limit, and deserved to win the Burden's 3 Match. But I'm not gonna kiss his ass either. I STILL hate that motherfucker and I hope Nad tears him apart. Reginald: RVD's Angels. Rob Van Dam: RVD's Angels are going to be the most dominant force in EpW, and that'll happen sooner than later. Reginald: CM Punk. Rob Van Dam: CM Punk is the future of EpW. Just remember one thing when he's EpW's top star: He never beat me. Reginald: Nad The Ripper. Rob Van Dam: One sick motherfucker....which is why I let him be on my side. Reginald: Mikey Whipwreck, Triple H, Drok, Christopher Daniels, Rhino.. Rob Van Dam: I've pinned them all. Let's leave it at that. Reginald: Let's go to the internet [email protected] asks, "Has RVD ever had any homosexual encounters with any mexicans who will be remained annonymous? *cough*Vic-and-El-Hombre*cough*" Rob Van Dam: Damnit Hombre, no means no. If you weren't such a loveable spic I'd paralyze you! Reginald: Rob, we are out of time... Rob Van Dam: No we're not! You can't trick me like that, this is MY show! Reginald: Goodbye everybody! Rob Van Dam: You motherfucker, I'm not done talking! Reginald: Yes you are. ::Camera fades out.:: RVD: In memorium of the Smoke-Out, Kurt Angle made his own segment, based on Word Assocation. Enjoy. FtWDeViLs2469 (9:37:08 PM): Craby RAWisJericho1316 (9:38:40 PM): Hilary Duff FtWDeViLs2469 (9:39:25 PM): Kristy Carlos Romano RAWisJericho1316 (9:39:51 PM): Griffster FtWDeViLs2469 (9:40:00 PM): Canada RAWisJericho1316 (9:40:34 PM): Icon FtWDeViLs2469 (9:40:52 PM): Vic RAWisJericho1316 (9:41:00 PM): STFU FtWDeViLs2469 (9:41:15 PM): Jay RAWisJericho1316 (9:41:39 PM): Little Bear FtWDeViLs2469 (9:41:44 PM): EpW RAWisJericho1316 (9:42:30 PM): Title Rematch.. FtWDeViLs2469 (9:42:57 PM): The bengals RAWisJericho1316 (9:43:17 PM): 2003 AFC North Champs FtWDeViLs2469 (9:46:02 PM): IWA RAWisJericho1316 (9:47:19 PM): dice fed FtWDeViLs2469 (9:47:36 PM): breakdown RAWisJericho1316 (9:48:00 PM): bandwagoner yankees fan FtWDeViLs2469 (9:48:34 PM): Other Chris RAWisJericho1316 (9:49:02 PM): The Demon FtWDeViLs2469 (9:49:20 PM): Jim RAWisJericho1316 (9:49:43 PM): Christopher Daniels FtWDeViLs2469 (9:50:01 PM): Jerry RAWisJericho1316 (9:50:18 PM): THE Dicing Industry. FtWDeViLs2469 (1:12:43 AM): Elliot XxX EFJ XxX (1:12:49 AM): sexy FtWDeViLs2469 (1:13:03 AM): Chris XxX EFJ XxX (1:13:12 AM): buddy FtWDeViLs2469 (1:13:17 AM): Jay XxX EFJ XxX (1:13:20 AM): annoying FtWDeViLs2469 (1:13:28 AM): Spic XxX EFJ XxX (1:13:33 AM): me FtWDeViLs2469 (1:13:39 AM): Nigger XxX EFJ XxX (1:13:44 AM): fake eddie FtWDeViLs2469 (1:13:50 AM): Canada XxX EFJ XxX (1:14:48 AM): i dont know FtWDeViLs2469 (1:14:55 AM): Vic XxX EFJ XxX (1:14:59 AM): STFU FtWDeViLs2469 (1:15:06 AM): Breakdown XxX EFJ XxX (1:15:10 AM): nose FtWDeViLs2469 (1:15:16 AM): Jerry XxX EFJ XxX (1:15:28 AM): Wawa Girl FtWDeViLs2469 (1:17:21 AM): EpW XxX EFJ XxX (1:17:55 AM): fed I beat jerry in FtWDeViLs2469 (1:18:03 AM): IWA XxX EFJ XxX (1:18:18 AM): I dunno FtWDeViLs2469 (1:02:39 PM): EWF UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:03:18 PM): The beginning of the Jay-CEast Best Friend Connection FtWDeViLs2469 (1:03:30 PM): CEast UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:03:42 PM): The coolest kid on wheels FtWDeViLs2469 (1:03:49 PM): Vic UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:04:26 PM): kinda cocky and arrogant, but even though I kinda hafta carry him, I guess he's still a good partner...after all, he is 1 half of...TEAM VJ!!!!! FtWDeViLs2469 (1:04:38 PM): Team VJ UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:04:47 PM): Greatest Tag Team ever formed FtWDeViLs2469 (1:05:05 PM): Canada UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:05:15 PM): Mexican in denial FtWDeViLs2469 (1:05:25 PM): Jerry UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:05:45 PM): cool guy, he's the frienD FtWDeViLs2469 (1:05:57 PM): Eddie UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:06:10 PM): latino heeeeeeeat FtWDeViLs2469 (1:06:25 PM): Bryan UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:06:59 PM): He's a good kid, smart too. After all, he did choose me as his hero FtWDeViLs2469 (1:07:14 PM): EpW UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:07:46 PM): Good fed, a little hectic, but can be pretty fun most of the time UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:07:56 PM): atleast its better than NAW FtWDeViLs2469 (1:07:58 PM): Breakdown UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:08:02 PM): nose FtWDeViLs2469 (1:08:17 PM): Basketball UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:09:05 PM): Better than any other sport FtWDeViLs2469 (1:09:24 PM): ICP UHW KEN SHAMROCK (1:09:50 PM): Blue MoOn MiSt Faygo makes my tummy tingLe FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:02 PM): Chris HdF Triple H (9:31:06 PM): which one? lol FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:11 PM): real one HdF Triple H (9:31:18 PM): Cool...goofy FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:25 PM): Breakdown HdF Triple H (9:31:29 PM): fuckin stupid HdF Triple H (9:31:33 PM): and ugly FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:37 PM): EpW Banner contest HdF Triple H (9:31:42 PM): hilarious FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:56 PM): XPW HdF Triple H (9:32:07 PM): ... HdF Triple H (9:32:12 PM): canada HdF Triple H (9:32:12 PM): lol FtWDeViLs2469 (9:32:14 PM): Jay HdF Triple H (9:32:21 PM): A little weird at times FtWDeViLs2469 (9:32:30 PM): CEast HdF Triple H (9:32:37 PM): cool...but quiet FtWDeViLs2469 (9:32:44 PM): Jerry HdF Triple H (9:32:51 PM): cool FtWDeViLs2469 (9:33:00 PM): Kwege HdF Triple H (9:33:07 PM): so retarded hes funny FtWDeViLs2469 (9:33:29 PM): Vic HdF Triple H (9:33:38 PM): stfu Next is IWA Owner Chris. FtWDeViLs2469 (9:45:25 PM): Breakdown Disturbed65465 (9:46:07 PM): A big nosed retard that should stfu and hang himself FtWDeViLs2469 (9:46:16 PM): Jerry Disturbed65465 (9:47:00 PM): Funny FtWDeViLs2469 (9:47:18 PM): iwa Disturbed65465 (9:47:31 PM): Starting to get boring FtWDeViLs2469 (9:47:42 PM): epw Disturbed65465 (9:48:06 PM): alright FtWDeViLs2469 (9:48:16 PM): Kwege Disturbed65465 (9:48:39 PM): Another retard that should hang himself FtWDeViLs2469 (9:48:53 PM): Chris Disturbed65465 (9:49:23 PM): Funny And well known fag, Breakdown Y2J FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:18 AM): Jerry BrEaKdowNY2J (11:16:24 AM): God. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:48 AM): Kwege BrEaKdowNY2J (11:16:52 AM): has hairy balls. They always get stuck between my teeth. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:59 AM): Canada BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:05 AM): Bastard made me suck his cock after he fucked my mom in the ass. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:11 AM): NAW BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:26 AM): dont matter FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:31 AM): EpW BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:40 AM): its ok to me. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:48 AM): Jay BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:50 AM): I wish he wasn't so mean to me. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:58 AM): DCE BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:03 AM): Stole my cocksucking gimmick. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:08 AM): Heath BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:14 AM): Young....but sexy. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:25 AM): EpW Banner Contest BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:38 AM): Greatest thing I ever seen. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:44 AM): and finaly FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:48 AM): Jew Nose BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:55 AM): ME! Note from RVD: That's what he SHOULD have said...here's the real one: FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:18 AM): Jerry BrEaKdowNY2J (11:16:24 AM): Fucker. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:32 AM): IWA Chris BrEaKdowNY2J (11:16:41 AM): Hes cool.. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:48 AM): Kwege BrEaKdowNY2J (11:16:52 AM): Dumbass. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:16:59 AM): Canada BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:05 AM): Bastard. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:11 AM): NAW BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:26 AM): dont matter FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:31 AM): EpW BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:40 AM): its ok to me. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:48 AM): Jay BrEaKdowNY2J (11:17:50 AM): fag FtWDeViLs2469 (11:17:58 AM): DCE BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:03 AM): gay. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:08 AM): Heath BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:14 AM): Young. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:25 AM): EpW Banner Contest BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:38 AM): Lamest thing I ever seen. FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:44 AM): and finaly FtWDeViLs2469 (11:18:48 AM): Jew Nose BrEaKdowNY2J (11:18:55 AM): Stfu FtWDeViLs2469 (9:30:45 PM): Mexican JWFVJericho (9:30:51 PM): STFU FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:00 PM): Breakdown JWFVJericho (9:31:08 PM): gay FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:11 PM): DVL JWFVJericho (9:31:13 PM): big nose JWFVJericho (9:31:14 PM): fag JWFVJericho (9:31:18 PM): Jew FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:22 PM): Canada JWFVJericho (9:31:39 PM): Genius FtWDeViLs2469 (9:31:55 PM): The San Diego Chargers JWFVJericho (9:32:04 PM): god damn it FtWDeViLs2469 (9:32:11 PM): James JWFVJericho (9:32:26 PM): Wolverine FtWDeViLs2469 (9:32:32 PM): CEast JWFVJericho (9:32:47 PM): h3h FtWDeViLs2469 (9:32:50 PM): Jay JWFVJericho (9:33:02 PM): h3h FtWDeViLs2469 (9:33:10 PM): Team VJ JWFVJericho (9:33:22 PM): yeah right FtWDeViLs2469 (9:33:32 PM): and finaly FtWDeViLs2469 (9:33:37 PM): "STFU" JWFVJericho (9:34:05 PM): the greatest one word catchphrase EVER to be said RVD: Now it's time to pay the bills. Here's a commercial for something I KNOW you'll all love... Suckcock:  When I was told that Suckcock Holmes was cancelled, I was outraged!  I went down to my knees and started to cry.  I felt so alone, so vulnerable, then Steven Spielberg came along and offered me a shot to make Suckcock into a TV Miniseries.  I was so happy i popped wood right there. ::Suckcock daydreams and a picture is shown of him and spielberg 69ing and then it zooms out and Holmes just has a big smile on his face:: Suckcock:  I then preceeded to call my black friend with a sword and told him I was a success.  He said he was happy and told me if I didnt pick up any Kentucky Fried Chicken for dinner he was going to have the KY Jelly ready for me.  So..naturally, I accepted Mr. Spielberg's deal and.. ::Nad walks in.  He immediately slaps Holmes around like the little bitch he is then turns to the camera:: Nad:  What this waste of life is trying to say, is that he sucked jew cock to make it big in the business.  But should we pity him? NO.  We don't pity Gwyneth Paltrow now do we? Or 90% of the half-assed acrtesses that are in the business, and reasons we only watch them is for some distant chance that there might be a nipple shot....  IS THIS HOW TO LIVE?!?!? ::Nad takes out a gun and shoots Suckcock Holmes in the stomach:: Nad:  By the way, I locked Spielberg in my personal shower, I wouldnt go check on him unless you have a gas mask handy.  Now get the fuck up! ::Nad boots Holmes real fast:: I'm in charge of the production of this movie now! ::Nad laughs evilly,drops the gun and leaves, as the camera fades:: RVD: We are BACK! And now for the News... This just in...   Sex was found to be like air, you don't realize how important it is until you aren't receiving any of it. Credit: Jess Jarrett Otis Involved in Sexual Assault - After allegedly harassing a young, white college girl, Otis, 43, got into a fight with a jealous white male.  While Otis and another man named Jamal beat the cracker into a coma, the girl called the police.  Otis and Jamal explained to the policemen, both black Muslims, that the other man was attempting to molest Otis.  The man was arrested and convicted as a sex offender. Credit: Scott Hall in College RPG Newsflash: Black man gets beat to death by police. In a related story, Olde English sales have quintupled, as white families celebrate. Credit: Drok Need Love Advice? Sex Advice? Ask someone who knows how a woman thinks, what makes a woman tick...Not me you idiot. Email [email protected] with your questions! Jermaine Jackson comments on charges brought up on his brother Michael. "He's not a criminal," Jermaine Jackson told Walters. "He's been innocent since day one, he's not a child molester, he's not a pedophile, and these things have got to stop. You got a bunch of racist, I'm sorry, racist rednecks out there who don't care about people.<We are a family, my mother is very angry, we are all angry, and we're going to put our soldiers and generals together and prepare for war, that's what this is." In a passionate telephone conversation with CNN on Thursday, Jermaine Jackson expressed outrage over recent commentary about the allegations, comparing it to "a modern-day lynching" of a man whose life has been "about peace." Credit: Mikey Whipwreck   "Which Wrestler Do You Want To Die In Real Life?" 5 votes = Goldberg 2 votes = HHH,  Mark Henry, Nathan Jones, Jeff Hardy, Hulk Hogan 1 vote = Lex Luger, Rico, Orton, Sting, Sid, Austin, DDP, The Rock, Big Show, Masahiro Chono, The Bashams, Spike Dudley, Mark Jindrak, Garrison Cade, Sakota, Mick Foley EpW Roster a bunch of lazy fucks, claims RVD Thanks to the 4 people who sent me news items, and the others who did segments...The rest of you can suck fat monkey dick. RVD: And that's the news....Now, before we get to our last segment. I have to thank a few people for helping out in the Smoke-Out's great run of 10 episodes. I'd like to thank Jay Leno for disappearing into the bottom of a river, Mr T...Haku, CVD, Nad, Canada, Hugh Downs, Huey Lewis, Jim Ross, SHurd, and Griff for all contributing segments...and Raven for running the show for me that time I had to go bail Reginald out of jail. Reginald: I'd like to thank CM Punk, Team XPW, Scott Hall, Test, Bi Show, Nad The Ripper, Taz, Savio Mavio, and of course...Rob Van Dam, for allowing me to interview them. RVD: And now for our final segment, something I hope still continues on it's own...This is Lifestyles Q and A #2, with Dr Canada!!!!! ::Dr. Canada walks out of the shadows and steps into the spotlight. He sets his coffee down on a mini-coffee table and greets everyone:: Dr. Canada: Hello, my name is Dr. Canada, and tonight we will answer your questions about relationships! Dear Dr. Canada, i have a problem...u c i am not good looken and stupid sumtimes...most gurls i like...love...hate me...what should i do? thanks Wres123 Dr. Canada: Well Wres it's time for you to consider suicide. Yeah, it's a last resort thing but hey whatcha got to lose? But if you chicken out of slitting those wrists let me give you some advice. If you look outside your window, yeah there is an outside. You'd see that the ugliest men have some of the sexiest women. Why? because they have charisma and personality. I'm sure that you most lack those charateristics but hell it doesn't hurt to try. The next time you see a girl you like try smiling at her, if she smiles back then talk to her. Okay?... ::scene cuts to Wres123 walking down the street.:: Wres123:(thinking to himself) Kk i gots to smile ::a long legged blond is approaching him:: Wres123:(thinking to himself) sh*t she iz f**king h*t! Kk...smile...smile...smile...smile ::smiles:: ::the blond looks at his fucked up smile and starts to laugh:: Wres123:(thinking to himself) Holy fuzznet!!! she laughed!! dr. canadaz said that all i needed was a smile...but i got a laugh!!! woot! i am gonna get s*x tonight! ::He stops her and scracthes his head all fucking nervous and shit:: Wres123: Hey... Blond:(giggling to herself) hehehe...hi.. Wres123: My name is Wres123 and my favourite links are www.wwe.com, www.nwatna.com, www.vwa.com, and www.hitmen.com ::The girl reaches into her purse for pepper spray:: Wres123:(thinking to himself) OMG OMG OMG OMG!! shes reaching into her purse to give me her number Wres123: so whats ur name? Blond: Ughhhh...::looks around at objects to find a fake name. She looks at a tree:: My name is Branch... Wres123: Branch eh? ima f**k tha branch...maybe shove itz rouch sticks into my ass... Blond: What?! Wres123: sh*t?! i said that outloud? Ummm...::smiles:: hi my name is Wres123 and my favourite links are-- ::Vic Jericho walks into the scene:: Vic Jericho: Your favourite links are www.STFU.com! Now get the fuck out and leave my girlfriend alone!! ::Vic swallows her tounge and walks off:: ::Back to Dr. Canada:: Dr. Canada: Hahahaha..it's nice to see couples together. Ok onto our next question... Dear Dr. Canada, my namez punkin and i have thiz crush. eva since hwa i had to have thiz guy. he waz so sweet and tough i luv him sooo much! anywayz he doesnt know that i am alive. he keeps on saying that i am dead or having sex. what should iz do? Love, Punkin Dr. Canada: I see. It seems that he either thinks you took the suicide route after he rejected you for the 10,000 time or he thinks that you're a slut. I'm sure the problem here is that you don't show him enough of your stuff. Go out and find him and let him lick some nipple... ::Punkin is snooping around the white house. She looks into a bedroom window and sees RVD walk around with a towel on.:: RVD: Whoa, I never knew fucking the presidents daughter would be that good. But hey everythings good when you're with me. Now get the fuck out of your room, I want to watch some flatscreen TV! ::she stares at him:: GO!! FUCK!! ::Rob kicks her untill she runs off:: Some sluts just don't get the picture!!...Okay what's on tonight? ::Punkin smiles:: Punkin: ::whispering to herself:: I knew that he wouldn't fall for her. He luvs me and we are gonna get married...::Punkin leans into the window and it breaks causing her to fall into RVD's room:: RVD: What the fuck?! Who the fuck are you?!? Punkin: You don't remember me? I'm Punkin from HWA! We made luv!! RVD: So? I fucked a lot of sluts in HWA...refresh my memory... Punkin:(thinking to herself) k show him some tit.. ::Punkin takes off her shirt:: RVD: Ohhh...you! I thought you fuckin' killed yourself... Punkin: Thas all in the past now. I'm bored what do you want to do? ::Punkin walks over to RVD topless:: RVD: ::looks at her tits then licks his lips::...I want to...watch some Flatscreen TV and smoke those cubans... ::RVD lays back down on the bed with a cuban cigar in his mouth:: Punkin: K...why don't I give you a massage while you watch your television... ::unzips pants:: RVD: ok ::Punkin starts pounding his cock with her hands when 4 FBI guys bust into the room:: FBI #1: Who attack Little Ms. Bush?! RVD: ::Pointing at Punkin:: Her ::They shoot the living shit out of her untill she falls over dead:: FBI #1: Thanks for your assistance Sir... RVD: No problem ::takes a puff from his cigar:: ::Back to Dr. Canada:: Dr. Canada: See now you really are dead. You know I get a lot of questions but I never get to ask any of them. Tonight we'll change all of that. A few weeks ago I got the chance to have a sit down interview with Michelle... Warning: This may bore the shit out of you Dr. Canada: I get dozens of love and sex related questions everyday. There are so many hopefuls in the world, why do you think people are having such a hard time finding someone to be with? XvMissMichellevX: I think it is because so many people are superficial. They base everything on looks, when they should spend more time trying to get to know someone on the inside. I mean, someone could be the hottest person alive, but they could be rude as hell.. would you like that? I sure wouldn't. So, yeah, I think its pretty much because of superficialness. Dr. Canada: I see. But would someone like Jay really have any high standards? I'm sure he shot low and failed as well. Would you say that people lacky character these days? Maybe men have forgotten how to talk to women? XvMissMichellevX: Yeah, I think some people lack character. Most people try to be someone and something they're not, and really, it does them no good. It all comes back to bite you in the ass in the end. Men never really knew how to talk to women. Women don't want to hear "hey baby, lets fuck in the backseat of my car" but yet, a man will always say that. Also, for anyone who cares, pick-up lines are a real big turn off to women, men really shouldn't use them.. it shows lack of imagination and originality. Dr. Canada: Then how would you like to be "picked up" by men. Have you ever been in any situations where men just make themselves look like a CEast infront of you? XvMissMichellevX: *laugh* A simple "hello, how are you?" type thing has always worked. I mean, girls are simple. A smile can hook most, lines really aren't needed. I can't really say that I have had anyone make themselves out to be a CEast in front of me. I've seen a lot of retarded guys, but CEast is a little higher on the retardation scale than the guys I've met. Jordan Da Icon: Speaking of retards, no one should ever have sex in their car. Not only is it messy but it can be dangerous. Have you ever seen a penis caught in the beltbuckle? That shit hurts... XvMissMichellevX: I can't really say that I've seen that, but I can imagine that it would cause great pain. Dr. Canada: back to girls being simple. Men are really easy to excite. A simple rub and thug and they'll be pointing their 11th finger at you. Females on the other hand have about 12 areas of sensitivity that men have no clue about. What are your feelings on guys who know nothing about pleasuring women? XvMissMichellevX: I'd say, before a woman would actually kick a man to the curb for not knowing how to please her, she would try to teach him. Every womans *special spot* isn't the same, so teaching to a man would seemingly be a continuous thing. For the most part though, I think most women are happy if a man can hit her G-Spot. Thats all it takes,really. Dr. Canada: so they are happy with leading men by their hands and telling them what to do each step of the way? Wouldnt you be more surprised if the man knew everything off the bat? XvMissMichellevX: A man that knows everything off the bat is a great welcome, but its not expected. Dr. Canada: I see. If you were a man which female celebrity would you fuck? XvMissMichellevX: well, if I was a man, I'd probably fuck Kristanna Lokken. Dr. Canada: Most women are bi-curious during their lives. Have you ever looked at yourself as someone who would try to fullfill their tempations?(if you have any) XvMissMichellevX: I think so. I mean, if it was the right time, and I was comfortable, I would jump at the chance to fuck some hottie. I think I would probably jump at a chance to fuck Suzanne Stokes. Dr. Canada: Comfortable? How so? XvMissMichellevX: Its like, I dont want to be put in a predicament that I don't want to be put in. If the time wasnt right and I didn't want to jump in bed with a hollywood hottie, I dont wanna be forced. Dr. Canada: ok to end things off lets do a numbers game XvMissMichellevX: ok Dr. Canada: I'm gonna name some body parts, you give each of them a number from 1 - 10 on their importance during sex XvMissMichellevX: oh boy, alright. Dr. Canada: Earlobe XvMissMichellevX: 5 Dr. Canada: Inner Thigh XvMissMichellevX: 7 Dr. Canada: Eyes XvMissMichellevX: I suppose being eyeless, could make for good skull fucking, but other than that 8, you gotta see what you're fucking. Dr. Canada: Feet XvMissMichellevX: 4 Dr. Canada: Nipples XvMissMichellevX: between 8 and 9 Dr. Canada: okay one more Dr. Canada: Ass/Asshole XvMissMichellevX: if you're feeling like being anally abused 10, if not.. 8 Dr. Canada: Alright. Thanks for taking the time and visting Dr. Canada. But before we let you go, Tounge: Turn Off or Sexy? XvMissMichellevX: sexy. ::Back to Dr. Canada:: Dr. Canada: Alright thats all for tonight and I hope you enjoyed the Final Smoke-Out...Goodluck and Godspeed! ::RVD is shown standing in front of the audience waving goodbye, as people take the set apart. Then a man rips off RVD's suit. Someone tries to take the XPW World Title, but RVD stabs him.::

[yellowchinkkid]

Escaping reality...

Work is stressing me the fuck out! I'm pretty much "overworked..underpaid". To top it off, I owe my employer $81.50. The guy I took over for "stole" over $160 from my shop (he was the only one in the shop working before I took over). He walked out, quit and no one can get a hold of him. Perfect FML feeling right now. On a good note, I got some "weed" to relieve some stress and relax..

[xgwhistory-blog]

RVD's Smoke-Out, Episode 9

Welcome to The Smoke-Out with RVD! Tonight, The History of Survivor Series! An Interview with Savio Mavio! The news with Jim Ross!  Lifestyles Q and A with Dr Canada! And More! Now, Here's Your Host...XPW Champion, ROB VAN DAAAAAAAAAAM!!!! ::"Bring the Pain" by MSI hits the PA system, and the studio audience bursts into cheers. RVD walks out the entranceway wearing a suit, and his XPW World Title. He sits down at his desk, and looks into the camera.:: RVD: Welcome to the Smoke-Out, I am your host with the most, Rob Van Dam. For this episode, my brother Reginald Vagina has yet another interview, as he has sat down to chat with...who? Ugggggggh, Savio Mavio.... Reginald: Hello Everyone, I'm Reginald Fizzlebaum, here with a man on the rise in EPW, Savio Mavio! Savio, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule to join me here. Savio Mavio: Its great to finally be on the Smoke-Out. I am trying to prepare for my match at Survivor Series, but I can always take time out to talk to fans and you. Reginald: Speaking of that, you are facing RVD...this all started when you interfered in a Van Dam attack on Lita. Why did you do this? You know how spiteful RVD can be... Savio Mavio: Like I said before, I was the right thing to do, and I tried to get a little something on the side, no what i mean? Reginald: Did you get any from her, playa? Savio Mavio: Well, there was this one night, where we were you know but her shit smelled like Fish, but being spic doesnt give me many options, so I went for it. Reginald: Hahaha, good pimpin' right there. Savio Mavio: You know it. Reginald: That said, how did you feel when Lita betrayed you? Savio Mavio: Well it hurt, not emotionally,physically, IT HURT. I bet you got kicked in the nuts a few times. Reginald: Oh yeah...You know it was all a scheme for RVD to get you, right? Savio Mavio: I realized that after I was on the ground holding my cojones. If RVD would've just asked, I wouldve given Lita to him. Unlike Savio, RVD has no class, he loves these slutty putas Reginald: Like school in the Summertime...So you two have a Last Man Standing Match at the Survivor Series? What are your plans for this match? Savio Mavio: Well thats fairly simple, give him the worst beating of his life. I will finish what I started at Doomsday. Reginald: How do you think XPW will do as a whole at the PPV? Savio Mavio: Well h8 club is one of the superior factions of all time, but they are old news and XPW is what is now, and we will come on top. Reginald: What are some other predictions you have for Survivor Series? Who do you think will win? Savio Mavio: Well I think Mikey will Crush one of my biggest nemisis, Nad. CM Punk is looking good, but he turned on XPW and messed with the wrong guy in Raven, so I will give that match to Raven. Our leader Snow will overcome the odds and bury hall to once again be the EPW World champion. Savio Mavio: And my match with RVD, hah...I hope to break his arm worse than he broke mine, and when I am done with him, he will be laying in some hospital while the New FUCKING Show,Savio Mavio, raises his arms in victory. Reginald: Next question, who is your favorite member of the Jackson 5?

Savio Mavio: This is a trick question...I dont like any of them, The father is my favorite Jackson, cause he used to beat all of their asses with a stick. Reginald: Who do you think, out of the people just starting to make an impact, has a future in the EPW? Savio Mavio: Hmm, Tajiri is looking good, but I would have to go with Bob Orton Jr., for the reason that he had to beat the best TV champion to win that title, Me...and I see a bright future for him. Reginald: Yeah I like him. What is your goal here in EPW? Savio Mavio: The same goal I set for myself in every federation I am in, to hold the Epw or Xpw World Title and be known as one of the Greats of wrestling. Reginald: You can do it...Now I'm going to ask you your opinions on certain superstars...First, EpW Champion Scott Hall. Savio Mavio: Best Champion in the business, I hope to lock up with him one day. Reginald: Lita. Savio Mavio: Slut, worse mistake of my life, besides that one time in the barrio of.. well that is not important. Reginald: Kurt Angle. Savio Mavio: Who? I am sorry Kurt Angle is not known to me. Reginald: Al Snow. Savio Mavio: Al Snow, great wrestler, next EpW World Champ in my opinion. Reginald: And finally, Rob Van Dam. ::RVD sneaks up behind Mavio, holding a metal baseball bat:: Savio Mavio: I hate him with all my heart, but I gotta hand it to him, he is the best wrestler of all time, and It will be an honor kicking his ass at the PPV. ::RVD swings the bat, and hits Savio across the side of the face from behind with it. Savio Mavio falls down to the ground:: RVD: Honor that, bitch. ::RVD lays into Savio with bat shots as the scene fades:: RVD: And now a word from our sponsors... ::RVD is shown standing in the EpW Locker Room. Mike Theory walks up to him.:: Mike Theory: "Man, I just fucked the shit out of this girl Buffy." RVD: "Did you use a condom?" Mike Theory: "No...." RVD: "Come here." ::Theory walks closer. RVD tackles him to the ground and starts punching the shit out of him:: If you're gonna have sex with Buffy......Double Bag it at the very least. Or RVD will whoop your ass...and you'll get a sexual disease. ::End Commercial:: RVD: This Saturday Night, is EpW Survivor Series. Now in my old federation, UcW, Survivor Series was a great tradition, and the third or fourth largest PPV of the year. To give you a glimpse of how important Survivor Series is, here's a short history... UcW Survivor Series 1998 - UCW's first good PPV, as the Main Event pits RVD and Mr Ass battling in a Match of the Year Steel Cage Match for the UcW World Title. RVD picked up the win. UcW Survivor Series 1999 - Mr Ass beats out RVD, Saturn and Scott Lawn in a 4-way Last Man Standing Match for the vacant UcW World Title, when Gillberg is too injured to participate. Also, Cactus Jack returns to UCW after RVD fired Mankind a few weeks earlier. Other classic matches on the card include Chris Jericho vs Shelton Benjamin in a 2/3 Falls Hardcore Title Match, Scott Lawn vs Steve Austin for the Intercontinental Title, Fierce Fighters vs Pimp Nation in a Survivor Series Style Match, Saturn vs Gangrel, and 3-way dances for the Blood and Lightheavyweight Titles. UcW Survivor Series 2000 - The Third Survivor Series had a Main Event that was thrown together just a week before the event, due to HHH vacating the title, but still had a number of huge spectacles go down. Gillberg wins the World Title in a Three Way Dance over Steve Austin and Chris Jericho, Cactus Jack returns to UCW after a 3-month retirement and has a match with RVD, Vic Jericho returns to UCW PPV in a Ladder Match for the Hardcore Title against Justin Credible, New Jack gets a win over Mr Ass, Mikey Whipwreck and Christian FINALLY have their long awaited match, Scotty 2 Hotty loses an Inferno Match to Bret Hart, Shelton Benjamin demolishes Major Gunns, Steve Corino wins the Intercontinental Title from Xtreme, Juvi makes his PPV debut against Lash "Pops Wood" Leroux, Chris Jericho ends a near-year alliance w/ RVD and the Corporation, and Mr Ass gets hit by a car!!! RVD: Ah, memories. Who knows, maybe EpW's Survivor Series will be the biggest and best of them all. The card alone indicates that it very well could do it. Shit, another commercial? We'll be right back... ::Commercial Shows clips of the RVD Beyond The Mat Special:: RVD: "That wasn't no sock, that was all me baby!" Scott Hall: "....And RVD snorted ALL OF IT!" Mr Ass: "I still can't believe he fucked that bitch" Ted DiBiase: "When RVD died, I was like WHOA" Scott Lawn: "So RVD grabs my katana sword and cuts the guy's dick off!" Stephanie Bellars: "RVD sexed... Christina Aguilera: "...me up better..." Trish Stratus: "...than any man..." Hollywood: "...ever could." The RVD Beyond The Mat Special! Coming Soon to VH1! ::End Commercial:: RVD: Damn, where was I when they shot that? Anyway, here's the news, with Senile JR! Jim Ross: Thanks Rod Stewart. I have to tell ya, EpW Survivor Series should be a great PPV. WHAT?! I don't believe this! I QUIT DAMNIT. ::JR storms off the set:: RVD: Finally, we have one last segment, a new addition to the Smoke-Out, and it should be a great one. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is Lifestyles Q and A with Dr Canada!!!!!! Lifestyles Q and A with Dr. Canada ::some elevator music plays as Canada spins around on his rotating chair.::

Dr. Canada: Hello, welcome to the first edition of Lifestyle Q and A with Dr. Canada. Today we will examine various questions, asked by you, the viewers. Enough chit chat, lets get to our first question...

Dear Dr. Canada, i kissed a girl yesterday i didnt know very well i mean i knew her but i didnt KNOW her like i should it was a i like her she likes me spur a the moment thing anyways then i hear from everyone she is dirty as in sexually but she told me she was a virgin i was reading one of your articles about herpes and i have alot of the symptoms what should i do how can i talk to her? Signed: Jay...shit i wasnt suppose to write my real name...fuck my backspace button isn't working...shit I better not press enter...fuck

Dear Jay, You're a fucking idiot. Your first kiss and it's with a dirty slut?! Didn't you know that hookers don't kiss for a reason? Well if you see any fungus growing out of your lower lip then you're fucked. Signed: The man deporting the girl you kissed back to Africa

Canada: Onto our next question coming all the way to us from Japan...

Dear Dr. Canada, About a week ago I started to get real itchy in me anal area. I checked that area and I could see small grayish black bumps, about 4 or 5. Is this a symptom of a STD? Signed: UltimoDraq

Dear Draq, It seems that you finaly caught the dreaded "fucked in the ass disease". I told you that you'd get something after all of those assfucking sessions with Meansabu. Eh...apply Japanese Palm Cream 2-3 times a day and you'll be fine. Signed: Canada

Dear Dr. Canada, I am worried. I have these blisters on my vagina that come every now and then. They are sore at first and then they open up and ooze either puss or blood. Then, eventually they go away but they come back again in the exact same place. I am not sexually active nor have I ever been so I just don't know where these are coming from. I know I need to go see a doctor but I am afraid of what they might say. I'd like to get some opinions from other people to plan my next move. Thanks. Fireykat

Dear Fierykat, Reading that kinda got me excited. Well it seems to me that you have "Vagina Non-sexto"...or "Pussy needs to be fucked" disease. Just simply find a desperate man and fuck him untill your warts are gone. Signed: Canada

Dear Dr. Canada, Hi. A couple of days ago, my left ear started hurting, like how I imagined it would hurt if I popped out my eardrum or something. So now I have a major headache, and I am feeling nauseous. Then, a couple of hours ago, my right ear started to do the same thing. I don't know if this is just a head cold or what, but this has never happened. It also hurts in my jaw, too. And I can't open my mouth very wide. Should I see a doctor or not? Does anyone know what is wrong with me? love, Commack

Dear Commack, Don't worry, it's common to feel pain and headaches after earlobe fucking. The nauseous swings could be serious..hell you might be pregnet. Shit. All we need are baby Commacks joining EpW as Billy Kidman. Fuck, Canada

Dear Dr. Canada, On Thursday I tried a drug that I had never done before.  Jimsonweed, Datura, Devil's Apple, Schitzo Seeds.  It grows in many backyards and has lard white cone flowers and spiky pods.  I made the seeds into a tea and drank it.  After that I don't remember much except for bits and pieces.  I ended up in the hospital because when my parents came home I couldn't even identify them.  I was hallucinating so bad I couldn't even tell who they were.  I was then taken to the hospital and had to drink coal and was given many sedatives because I was scared and very aggressive.  I still don't remember anything of the whole day.  I would not advise anyone to do this drug without a 'baby-sitter' and very careful dosaging.  Even so, it's not safe.  The dosage ranges so greatly for every person and you have to take into account the time of year, maturity of the plant, breed of datura, how it's prepared, and even what kind of soil it's grown in.  It's a very unstable drug and has made me think twice about all the drugs I try.  I just want to warn everyone before they think of taking a good trip on a plant that their mom has in their garden.  I still highly recommend making your own decisions and am not trying to stop anyone from doing anything but I had researched this plant and still ended up having a bad experience. If you do decide to try this drug it's a good idea to leave a note or something, so that when someone comes and finds you totally out of your mind they will simply talk with you and not panic and send you to the hospital. You will NOT be able to coherently tell them that you are okay and what drug you are on. Signed: Scott Lawn

Dear Lawn, Send me some of that shit. Your best friend, Canada

Canada: Well that's all for tonight. Just remember kids if you have a question just ask Canada...Bye... This has been The Smoke-Out with RVD.... Next time - The Final EPW Smoke-Out: RVD Says Goodbye.