#smooching meme

[zedslayers]

Here’s a drawing @one-in-the-pipe-patty requested of Rae and Kevin!

[zedslayers]

Anyway because i’m nothing if not indulgent here’s more vampire!m4 and count volter, who I now ship because I never ship any of my characters anyway

its worth noting that I had an idea to draw CV draped across a lounge chair in a seductive pose holding a wine glass with M4 just being oblivious to this attempt at flirting.

smooching meme

bonus:

[sobdasha]

one day i will finish the smooching meme for supes

look at me writing all the things (that were already half-written for me) and fulfilling prompts (which are pushing 4 years old specifically in this case although some of them have been only more like 2 or 3 years old...) i’m so amazing much writer wow

Wind Waker!Zelink4lyfe, stomach kiss (when they are a little older, the joys of puberty, Tetra is a woman now, Link is still a boy and is therefore morally obligated to Not Care)

--

The pirates have been talking for weeks about Miss Tetra's Special Shopping Trip When They Land At Windfall, and that's precisely how Link knows it's nothing he wants a part in. Any time the crew gets that excited about something to do with Tetra, it's probably dumb. They're weird like that.

So he doesn't mind at all when Niko corners him in the hold the moment someone figures out that Zuko's muttering up in the crow's nest means he's spotted the island.

Whenever Tetra's crew makes landfall, someone has to stay behind with the ship. That someone is naturally one of the swabbies. That someone is supposed to be Link, being the junior swabbie and all, but usually Tetra gives him special dispensation on account of she's the captain and she can show as much favoritism as she darn well pleases. And that leaves Niko stuck in the boat again.

This time, though...

“Alright, swabbie,” says Niko, pacing in front of Link. “As you know, a swabbie always has to stay behind and guard the ship. And as senior swabbie, it's my right to be the one to go ashore. But!” he adds, “as your gracious senior I think it's only fair that you get an equal chance to take this opportunity! So we're going to draw straws!”

Red-faced and breathing heavily, Niko very nearly whacks Link in the nose with the fist he thrusts out. “Point to your chosen straw, swabbie!”

Link's eyes cross to see the two thin sticks clutched in Niko's hand. It's not like he's all that thrilled to trail around behind the rest of the pirates, watching them fuss over Tetra. But it's Windfall, and there's no point in wasting a chance to take some pictos and mail some letters.

He waves his finger back and forth, deliberating a bit, just because it's fun to watch Niko sweat. And then he taps one of the straws.

“Hmm,” Niko says. He rubs his chin with his free hand and smiles nervously. “I see, I see. Well now. So that's the one you choose, is it? Here you go, then.”

And he pinches the stick in his fingertips, snaps it off right where it meets his fist, and drops the straw in Link's palm. Niko beams at him. “Ah, too bad! It looks like you drew the short straw this time, swabbie!”

Link's too busy marveling to object when Niko scampers off to the deck. He wonders who taught Niko the trick; it's a lot cleverer than all those swabbie tests he usually puts Link up to. And how soon can Link use this trick on Aryll?

Well. Link shrugs, tosses the stick away in the hold, and then spends the afternoon with the ship all to himself.

He writes a letter to Grandma and Aryll and everyone back on Outset, and sneaks into town anyway to mail it. Heh. He practices his swashbuckling up on deck where everyone can hear what a diligent guard he is who definitely didn't just skive off to the post box. Then he guards Tetra's diary, by laying on her bed and reading it.

Tetra is good at diaries. She doesn't just write down boring stuff like where they've sailed to and what booty they've picked up--which is already noted in the ship's logbook, if Link wanted to read that kind of stuff, which he doesn't, because he was there.

No, the good bits are the parts that say things like Link is a goober-face and also he smells. Complete with illustrations and everything.

Link scribbles some fancy mustachios and a monocle on the stinky Link, and then he doodles a Tetra in the margins to keep him company.

A very bad Tetra, probably, because he's still doodling when the real one comes in and drops a shopping bag on top of the diary, and therefore also on his hand with the pen in it.

“That's extra laundry duty for inattention,” she says, tutting and shaking her head. Tetra rescues her diary and bops Link with it before stuffing it back in her desk. “What kind of pirate are you? You could've at least stuffed it down your shirt when you heard me coming.”

Link isn't exactly a pirate, he's a Hero!

But Tetra has got a point. Link can be kind of oblivious sometimes, okay. But unless he's off somewhere napping he almost always hears the rowdy ruckus of the pirates returning, and…

And...they haven't come back with Tetra? Link can't hear them at all, and he's listening.

Tetra shrugs. "Eh, I got what I came for. So I left them all bawling in the coffee shop, for some reason. Those guys can be so weird…

"You should've come along, Link," Tetra adds. "Look at those skinny little wrists sticking out of your sleeves. You could've used a bit of shopping. Hey, pretty soon I might not even have to look so far down on you anymore," she says with a wink.

It's not fair that Tetra got her growth spurt first. Well, she better just wait, Link's going to get so tall and he's going to tower over her and then he's going to laugh and laugh. And pick her up and carry her around like Tetra's taken to doing to him lately.

"Anyway…" Tetra says. "So, you wanna see my haul?"

Ehhhhhhhhh Link's not sure he cares. He was going to sneak back into Tetra's room later, after she stashed everything away, to pull it all out and look at it. But if she's just going to show him her new stuff then it's kinda boring. He's not interested.

He rolls over on her bed and looks at the underside of the deck while Tetra rolls her eyes.

She sits on the bed beside him and flicks his ear. "Well guess what. Your captain orders you to admire her swanky new clothes," she declares.

And then she yanks up her shirt.

Link looks over at Tetra's...new swimsuit? What does she even need a swimsuit for, anyway? All their clothes get so stiff with salt from the sea spray that there's not much point in changing them before hopping into the ocean for a dip. And they're usually sailing out in the middle of the ocean, not docked at some little island with a nice beach, so swimming's no good anyway.

It is black and covered with little skulls, though. Link has to admit it suits Tetra well.

"It's not a swimsuit, you dummy," Tetra sighs. "It's a bra, because I'm a grown-up woman now. I'm a lady."

Link laughs so hard at that, he actually falls off the bed himself before Tetra can boot him to the floor.

He's still wheezing a bit when he climbs back up to his spot on the mattress.

"You're just jealous," says Tetra, sticking her tongue out. She's still got her shirt hiked up. "Because you'll never have nice tits like these."

Link wants to say that ew, who cares, at least he's a boy and he can pee standing up. Except that Tetra has lived all her life on a ship with a bunch of guys, and her mom was a pirate, and Link has seen firsthand that Tetra pisses however she wants. She can piss over the side of the ship with the best of them.

So instead he leans over and blows a big, wet raspberry on Tetra's exposed stomach.

She shrieks with laughter and (mostly reflexively, but she'd have meant it if it hadn't been involuntary) bashes Link on the head as she automatically tugs her shirt down to cover her bare skin. But it's worth it, Link thinks, as Tetra collapses, chortling, the first blood drawn in the impending tickle war.

Definitely worth it.

[caledon-forest]

Illdiyhr and Taerryn

"Nooooooooo.." A growly whine came from the tent. Taerryn smiled to herself, Illdiyhr must finally be awake. Adder looked towards the tent and sniffed the air for any signs of danger.

"Hush dear, I’ts just our friend. Go back to sleep." She petted him gently, scratching between his fronds just how she knew he liked. Adder sighed and laid back down on the sand next to her to doze off.

Another groan from the tent and Illdiyhr clumsily crawled out of the opening, tripping twice in the process. Irritated cursing and mumbling was interrupted by a loud yawn, and Illy made no effort to conceal their terrifying maw.

"Good morning sleepyhead." Tae laughed. The red sylvari stretched and flexed their limbs, yawning and snarling like a big cat. They rubbed their eyes and ran their hands through the silvery white leaves on their head, trying as best they could to rid themselves of the sleep.

"Mmmm g’murnin.." They mumbled as they methodically cracked all of their knuckles, followed by neck, shoulders and back. When Illy felt limber enough they plopped down on the sand next to their friend.

"Slept well?" Taerryn inquired as she poured Illy a cup of tea and handed it over.

"Mmmyeah I guess.." Illy mumbled, sipping on their tea. "I dont get it though.. Why would you do it?" They faced Tae, confusion in their round yellow eyes.

"Huh? Do what?" Taerryn blinked, brows furrowing a bit. Had they done something bad? Tae’s bright smile faded in worry.

"All of that money.. You gave me so much. You know I can’t repay you.." Illy sighed.

"Oh you big silly!" Taerryn grinned and elbowed Illdiyhr lightly. "You’re my friend, if I can help you I will~ Don’t worry about it." She rested her head on Illy’s shoulder.Illy smiled. They didn’t feel like they deserved any of this, but they were very grateful.

"Thank you." They placed a little peck on Tae’s cheek. "I dont know what I would do without you."

[caledon-forest]

Rhosyn and Maliech

A gift? Brown wrapping paper and a crudely made bow made with battered looking twine.

"Dear brother, what is this?" Rhosyn asked as she inspected the foreign object, searching for any note or indication of who it was to, or from.

"'S a book Rhos.. F'r you fr'm some'n.. Lemme sleep.." Her twin brother groaned from their bed, hiding from the sunlight underneath the blankets. Rhosyn scoffed at him.

"Fine, Rhisian. Waste the day sleeping as per usual. Wouln't want to accidently do something productive, would we?" She tutted as she stuffed the packet into her shoulderbag.

"Mmm.. Love you too sister~" Came Rhisian's mumbled reply. Rhosyn snickered and left their dorm.

"Hi! I thought I might find you here." Rhosyn chimed at her friend at the forge. He turned towards the familiar voice, letting go of his tools and standing up straight. He loomed over Rhosyn, who just reached up to his chest despite not being a short sylvari. Stern look and battleworn body he would seem intimidating to most others, but not to Rhosyn.

"Oh.. Hi.." Maliech gave the tiniest smile at her, wiping coal and sweat off his brow. "How are you?" He spoke in a flat voice while he cleaned his chest and arms with a damp towel.

"I'm well, thank you. I just came here to thank you." Rhosyn rocked back and forth on her feet, poking about the small scraps and miscellanious things left on the workbench.

"Thank me for what?" Mal asked bluntly. Rhos furrowed her brow.

"The book? It was from you, wasn't it? There was no note but I asked around and sources seemed to point to you." She saunteered over towards him. Maliech put on a shirt to look a bit more presentable.

"Oh.. Yeah.. Yeah that was from me.." He turned to face the thief. "Was supposed to be a card though.. I forgot to attatch it.. Sorry.." Mal averted his eyes in shame. For months he had planned this gift, and then he forgot to attatch the card to it? He couldn't believe himself, he was such a clutz!

"I thought so." Rhosyn grinned. "Hey, I got you something in return. Close your eyes."Maliech looked her in the eyes, sceptical for a second before doing as told. Cool, soft lips pressed against his cheek, and his eyes flew open in surprise. Then she was gone. Rhosyn was nowhere to be seen. Maliech sighed and smiled to himself. She sure was a trickster, but he didn't mind. He trailed his fingers along where she had kissed him, her scent of blackberries and jasmine still lingering in the air. If only he had the words to tell her how he felt.

[sobdasha]

I really didn't want to do something so uncreative as "Spirit Tracks random train makeouts in the ocean realm" and then suddenly it came to me wow I'm horrible at this meme

Ocarina of Time!Zelink4lyfe, underwater kiss (technically Shink, drowning, romanticized drowning, making it up as I go, kiss of life shenanigans, suspend your disbelief and logic for me okay, just as I have suspended it to write this, pretty much the only headcanon I liked from the manga was Impa and the earrings)

--

Link tugs on one boot, checks the fastenings, then follows with the other, and dangles his legs over the glassy waters of Lake Hylia. Perfect. Then he shoves himself off the edge, and the last thing he hears before the splash roaring in his ears is Navi yelling, “H-hey, Link, that's not the right—!”

And the world dissolves into a thousand little bubbles as he sinks down to the murky lake bed.

He tips his head back to watch the bubbles streaming away, and that's his favorite part. All they've got in Kokiri Forest is a creek and some shallow pools, nothing deep enough to dive in without probably cracking your head. Lake Hylia, though, is great for jumping into. And with the iron boots, he doesn't bob right back up to the surface. Instead they drag him down and down, while the air pockets trapped in his clothes bubble out and rush upwards.

In addition to being iron, the boots are also magic. When they're on Link's feet they're too heavy for him to float, almost too heavy for him to walk in. But as soon as he takes them off they weigh hardly more than his regular boots.

The Zora tunic is magic too, although Link's not really sure how that one works. It's not that it makes him not need to breathe, because once he fights down the urge to hold his breath he finds himself breathing like usual, even at the bottom of the lake. And it's not that it makes him breathe water like a fish, either, because when Link gets out of the water he doesn't have to spit it all up. The tunic is just magic.

And it's silly for Link to keep holding his breath for no reason, so he pushes down the instinct and exhales a stream of bubbles.

And chokes on a burning noseful of water.

The tunic Link's wearing isn't blue. Link's tunic is green, and the thing Navi was yelling at him before he plunged himself to the bottom of the lake was that he forgot to change back into his Zora tunic and that's really bad. But these realizations are all very far beyond the tiny world that Link is in now, a very narrow world of panic and desperation and swallowing water.

Some part of him that is probably destiny and the blessings of the goddesses curls up until his fingers can scrabble at the fastenings of his boot. He works frantically, pulling and tugging at anything he can get purchase on, and the first boot drags inch by inch off his foot and falls away.

But Link's never been the best at who can hold their breath the longest games, and in his very small world he watches his second boot, dangling down below him, drag him down and down until a pair of hands yanks it off his foot hard enough to hurt. And then his world is two red eyes and something warm against his mouth.

Then it is a very small darkness.

Then Link is choking again, and he can't stop coughing, but this time there's air in between the coughing and also water going down the wrong way and then more coughing. And in the world that's getting a bit wider now Sheik grabs his shoulder and rolls Link onto his side while Link heaves for breath.

He opens his eyes to Navi, and the tingly feeling of her brushing up against the tip of his nose.

“Link, thank goodness you're awake!” she says. “I was so worried!”

Link feels ill, but he manages a smile for her. Then Sheik gets an arm around Link's shoulders and eases him to sit upright, and Link feels ill and dizzy, and he turns away to be sick. There's water coming out his nose too, and it's burning again, and it's gross.

Sheik squeezes his arm and keeps his other hand pressed against Link's back. When there doesn't seem to be any more water coming back up, just Link panting for breath, he says, “Are you alright now, Hero?”

Link scrubs his mouth and his nose with his sodden sleeve, and he feels tired and heavy and gross but he is breathing so he's probably okay.

“Sheik dove in to save you!” says Navi. “He pulled you out of the lake, but then you weren't breathing. It was really scary! But he gave you a lot of resuscitation and I'm so glad you're okay now, Link.”

Link's glad, too. Sheik may be a mysterious and weird and confusing guy, but Link feels a sudden and exhausting rush of gratitude towards him. Then Sheik says, “Why weren't you wearing your Zora tunic?”

Like Link would forget it on purpose.

He gives Sheik a damp glower. Sheik's mouth doesn't so much as twitch, and Link realizes that the cowl that usually covers the bottom half of Sheik's face is flopped limply around his neck. Link can see his face.

It's a pretty ordinary face. Nothing weird, no scars, not interestingly ugly. All in all, Sheik's face really isn't worth having practically drowned to get to see.

“I'm so sorry to disappoint you, Hero,” Sheik says, in a voice that means he isn't sorry at all for always keeping his face mysteriously covered for no good reason. He takes his hand away from Link's upper arm, but leaves the other resting at his back still.

Sheik's ears are pierced with little blue rings, the same as Link's. This makes him think of Impa, and then of Zelda, and then that Ruto is probably still waiting in the Water Temple with all the monsters. He grabs the hem of his tunic and tries to wrestle it, sodden and clingy as it is, off over his head.

“Princess Ruto can manage a little longer,” says Sheik, leaning out of the way so as not to get hit in the face with a handful of wet fabric. Link tosses the green tunic aside and pulls the Zora one from his pouch. Sheik taps a knuckle against Link's earring. “If you want to be worthy of Impa's faith in you, show a little wisdom. Regain your full strength before you enter the Water Temple.”

The Zora tunic is almost just as hard to get on over his wet undershirt, but Link manages it. He doesn't understand, though, how Sheik can keep going from hurry hero you're late to the world won't end if you get one night's sleep and a good meal. And Ruto's probably already decided Link's late and is mad at him.

On the other hand, Link still feels as heavy as if the iron boots were on his feet instead of lying on the grass beside him.

“I'll make sure you don't drown in your sleep,” Sheik says, as Link lies back, like he needs any more proof that Sheik's weird and kind of a creeper. But it's still kind of nice to know he's there.

[sobdasha]

A Link Between Worlds!Zelink4lyfe, kiss in the rain (a few years post-game, the palace guard is also the Official Princess Zelda Fanclub as far as I can tell, just because you possess the Triforce of Wisdom doesn't mean past!you isn't a stupid little idiot)

--

Princess Zelda twists in her chair to look out the window, where the rain is blowing in from the west and drumming against the glass. It's a grey, dreary, late-autumn morning, the kind that's perfect for staying snug in bed with a cup of tea and a book.

“Stop sighing, child,” says Impa, her head bent over a handful of expense reports at her own table. “The work won't do itself.”

Zelda lays her head down on the desk. She should be grateful for the paperwork, she tells herself. It's a blessing; bills and papers accumulating on her desk are a sign the kingdom is functioning. When Princess Hilda sought Link out to help her restore Lorule, her own kingdom was probably far beyond the point of any paperwork. Now, with any luck, she's sitting in her own office and staring at her desk and similarly wishing the piles away.

And none of this really makes Zelda any more thrilled to dive back into her work.

Someone clears their throat in front of her, and it's not Impa.

Zelda straightens up. “Um—”

“Bill for the new sword, Your Highness,” says the guard. “Just picked it up this morning. Excellent work, as always.”

He lays the sheet of paper on top of her pile, and Zelda musters up a smile instead of a groan. The guard's only a few years older than her. He signed up for the palace guard before he'd hardly finished his growth spurts, she remembers, but these days his uniform fits him quite nicely, and he's always happy to deal Zelda into a game of go-fish between the off-duty guards in the guard room.

“I'm sorry you had to go all the way out to the blacksmith's in this weather,” she says. “You should get a hot drink from the kitchens before you go on duty.”

She picks up her pen and the book she'd laid her face on and pretends she's really going to get to balancing the kingdom's budget in earnest. She's an adult, for goodness' sake, and at least she didn't have to drag herself out of her nice, warm, dark bed to patrol the castle walls in the cold rain.

“If you went to the blacksmith's already, young man,” Impa is saying, “then where is your sword?”

Zelda looks up, where the guard is looking down at the empty scabbard on his belt. “Huh!” he says. “Funny thing, that. I'm sure I remember him saying, 'Don't forget to take your sword.'” He shakes his head and adds, “Well, I'm sure it'll turn up soon.”

And then he meets Zelda's eyes with a big, conspiratorial wink.

Zelda feels the tips of her ears going red and, as he strolls out of the room, whistling to himself, she rustles her paper piles back into stacks and pushes her chair back. “Um, I'm sorry, Impa, I've got to take care of—I'll be right back!” she promises.

Zelda grabs a handful of her skirts and not-runs down the halls to her room, where she pulls her heavy cloak and a proper pair of boots out of her wardrobe. She's told the guards—many times—she's all but made an official proclamation that they're not to do that anymore...!

She tugs the hood over her still-warm ears, does up the fastenings all down the front of the cloak, and hurries down to the front gate.

To be fair, the palace guard mean well. Zelda knows that. She lost both her parents ages ago, long enough that it only smarts if she picks at it, and she's the sole heir of the royal bloodline. The guards have always doted on her, and indulged her, and of course Zelda's loved growing up in a castle being protected by a lot of big brothers and sisters and aunts and uncles.

And, alright, she's the one who started this whole thing. It's all Zelda's fault, really. But that was several years ago, when she was just a silly child, and she's very much more grown-up and wiser now, and it's embarrassing.

And Zelda's not lonely.

She splashes down the steps, and her boots may be keeping her feet nice and dry but the hem of her dress is already soaked, drat it, and sure enough there he is—jogging across the courtyard, wrapped up in a cloak against the rain as well, and carrying a long, oilskin bundle in his arms.

Link tips his hood up just enough to show his face and waves the forgotten sword at her.

The blacksmith told the guard, at least three times, to sheathe his new sword instead of laying it down on the table where he'd forget to pick it up again. And then, as he was walking out the door without the blade, Gulley'd hollered at him Do you want us to gift-wrap it for the princess or what, and the man just waved, so—Gulley thought it was funny. Although the ribbon's pretty bedraggled now and sopping with rain. But, Link promises, Gulley's bow looked really nice when he left.

Zelda grabs the sword out of Link's arms, so she doesn't have to look him in the face and know that hers is red.

“I'm so sorry,” she says to his mud-spattered boots, “I've told them time and again not to keep leaving their things there on purpose! You didn't have to come all the way out here, it's pouring. And I'm sure you're very busy.”

Link shrugs. They're bustling pretty nicely at the forge, true, but with Gulley working as a second apprentice it's not like they can't spare him for a bit now and again. Besides, if it really was a problem, you can bet the blacksmith would be down at the castle straight off, giving the whole royal guard an earful.

“Still,” says Zelda, “Link, you shouldn't have to keep running to the castle like this. Let them come back and pick up their things themselves. It's silly.”

It is silly. It was brilliant a few years ago, when Zelda first came up with the idea. But she'd been younger and obviously a lot sillier back then. And it was right after the whole mess with Yuga and Lorule, and she'd grown up with the paintings and the stories of the legendary hero and her own royal ancestors, and so of course she'd always imagined how wonderful it would be if she were one of the special princess who met one of the heroes, dire tragedy befalling the entire kingdom aside, and.

Well.

Zelda might have had the entire palace guard for companions, but she'd never really had a close friend her own age. And though Link seemed very nice, and he was her destined hero who'd saved Hyrule, she'd only met him three times, really. She didn't know him at all.

So she'd gathered up her royal guard and asked them all, whenever possible, whenever they went to pick up an order at the blacksmith's, to manage to 'forget' the item they'd come for so that, like on the first day they'd met, Link would be sent to the castle. And so they did, every man and woman of them, and they always let Zelda know when they'd returned so she could hurry to bump into Link in the halls and talk to him.

But now she and Link are good friends, and of course they can and do visit each other whenever they please, and so Zelda is absolutely mortified every time one of the guards insists on doing this after she's told them to stop and they're so pleased with themselves and then they wink at her and Link never even complains.

Link just shrugs again. The guards don't pull the trick that often, really, and he doesn't mind. They've promised to only do it on special occasions.

“This isn't a special occasion,” Zelda sighs, hugging the bundled sword to her chest. She twists her fingers in the soaked ribbon and watches the rain drop from the hem of Link's cloak. “It's not that I'm not happy to see you, but you shouldn't encourage them like this.”

Link doesn't understand why she's so upset about it, but Link also isn't the one who instigated this whole silly tradition. What he does know, though, is that he'll dry out pretty quick as soon as he gets back to the forge, so there's no reason not to tug his hood off and out of the way as he stretches on his tiptoes to kiss Zelda's forehead. He'd hate for all that guard's hard work to go to waste—even if Link's not supposed to be encouraging them—and best friends always cheer each other up. So this makes it a special occasion, right?

In a few years, Zelda's going to look back—red-faced and writhing inside—and curse her silly, stupid younger self. But right now she is that (very wise and mature and grown-up) self, and she's read all the historical romances in the royal library about the adventures of the hero of legend, even the ones she'll never ever admit to Impa she read and figured out exactly which Master Sword they were referring to in certain bits.

So of course it's a brilliant idea to shift her grip on the sword, wrap one arm around Link's shoulders, and say, “No, this is a special occasion,” before she presses her mouth against his.

The kiss lasts for about three seconds, until a couple of catcalls and a smattering of applause drift down from the castle walls with the rain.

A little part of Zelda is already dying inside as she grabs Link's hood and yanks it over his head again, all the way down past his eyes. “Please just get out of the rain before you catch a chill or something?” she says. “Link, you're already flushed.” As if she isn't just as red and she doesn't know exactly why.

Link nods, under the hood. Right. Yes. And he's got to get back or the blacksmith will tell him off for dawdling.

Still, though—he hopes it isn't too forward of him to hope they'll have plenty more special occasions in the future.

[sobdasha]

been marathoning Discworld lately. thought about forcibly editing out all the british phrases that have become part of my current lexicon. replied, bugger that for a game of soldiers.

Wind Waker!Zelink4lyfe, romantic kiss (post-WW and PH and set in pre-ST New Hyrule, Link is a master of romance in much the same way he is a master of stealth, romance?, hijinks)

--

The whole damn thing starts with that consort business.

Tetra inherited her mother's ship back before she was tall enough to see over the railings. She knows what the duty is of a captain to her crew—and a sovereign to her kingdom. And when you're the last in a royal bloodline, in whose veins flows a sacred power gifted by the goddesses, part of that duty is to propagate some royal heirs.

Not that she's picking out baby names yet or anything (Daphnes, for a boy, because there's nothing Tetra hates more than a quitter and also it's hilarious when Link gets all weepy). She's still got plenty of time ahead of her for

that

. But for a young, marriageable queen who's thinking about the welfare of her people, it's high time she looked at naming a consort.

Officially. Ceremoniously. With something maybe involving more rings and less shoving of the Captain of the Castle Guard into a handy spare uniform wardrobe for a quick and messy snog.

Obviously she can keep getting on with that as much as she likes after she gets duty out of the way.

So Tetra figures, all she has to do is submit her choice to her council and then pick a good day to open the castle gates for a royal shindig. Simple enough. It's not even like she needs anyone's approval. She's Queen Tetra of New Hyrule and she'll marry whoever she darn well pleases. But it makes for a nice regal formality to announce her decision to her crew and ask for their input, and let them all agree with her wisdom and say how happy they are for her and give Gonzo a chance to cry a bit. To do it proper. No one's supposed to object.

Her council of former underlings objects. Unanimously.

“Excuse me?” says Tetra.

“He's not good enough for you, Queen Tetra,” Gonzo repeats. Tetra narrows her eyes. He goes a bit wibbly about the knees, but he doesn't plop into his chair and back down. They're serious about this.

They can't be serious.

Tetra opens her mouth to demand why the hell not only to be cut off as, across the table, Niko buries his head in his arms and wails. “I'm so ashamed of my swabbie! I didn't raise him like this! Queen Tetra deserves someone more... more...!”

She touches her fingertips to the sides of her face and very pointedly massages her temples. And if this bunch of giant man-babies don't pull themselves together and latch onto the hint she's thrown them very quickly, she's going to start counting to ten. Loudly. Ominously.

Someone clears their throat.

“It's not that we don't like Link,”—this from Nudge, the voice of reason. Tetra lets her hands come to rest on the arms of her chair again. “But what we're all trying to say, I think, is that we feel he hasn't shown himself to be a suitable husband for you—yet. We'd feel much better if he'd confess to you properly. Perhaps after a romantic declaration of undying love?”

All eyes turn to her. Even Mako looks up from his book. They're serious, damn them. Her crew has every last one of them teased Link about the closet makeouts, the disheveled clothes and bright red bruises. And, heck, they've been 'seeing the signs' practically since Link first set foot on her ship. And they're not happy until, what, the kid gets down on one knee and says some words that mean a hell of a lot less than his sword at her side has all these years?

Tetra inhales.

“That is the dumbest thing you lot have ever—”

—and bound to be the most fun a queen can have in months. Oh, hell. Link, courting her to her crew's standards of romance? Link with flowers and love notes and trying to say gushy nicknames to her face without cracking up? It's so terrible it's brilliant.Tetra smiles, the one with gyorg teeth in. “I see,” she says. “Alright. I'm taking your concerns into consideration. I'll leave the matter of Link's proposal in your hands.”

By lunchtime, Tetra learns she missed the ruckus where they tossed the Captain of the Guard out of the castle and expressly forbid him from setting foot within the walls again until he's confessed his undying feelings for the queen. As far as plans go, that's... about what she expected from her council, really.

She expects Link to turn up at the gates anyway. She expects him to shout until he's blue in the face that they may as well just let him in, he's going to find a way in anyway, he's a master of sneaking and infiltration, and they ought to just spare themselves the embarrassment of having their security broken into so easily. She expects him to think he's a clever cheeky little shit, borrow Anjean's flute, shanghai Niko—known for his spirited if off-key shanties—into accompanying him on it, and position himself under her window to 'sing' the most nauseating love poetry he can get his hands on until the castle starts throwing things. She expects to wipe the smug grin off his face with her own mouth.

That is a week ago.

Now it is today, and Link hasn't shown his face at the castle for a week. And, darn it, there'll always be that part of Tetra that worries about the kid (he's still a stupid kid, no matter how old he's gotten, because he's yet to prove himself otherwise).

After a tip from the guard holding down the castle town's walls she finds him wandering the beach east of the castle, picto box in hand.

Tetra strolls over and stands beside him, carrying the tall boots that would be between her toes and the crumbly wet sand. She squints up at the sky where Link is, presumably, taking pictos of the wheeling seagulls.

“Alright,” she says, “talk to me. Is this about the love confession thing? Ha ha, very funny, those guys went a bit too far? Fine, I'll talk to them.

“Or,” her eyes slide sideways, over to Link's upturned face, “maybe I misunderstood something.”

Link lowers the camera, fiddles with a couple settings, and snaps a quick picto of Tetra before she can get her boots up in front of her face.

He never backs down from a challenge. It's just—it's a dumb challenge. Those guys're all acting like Link's got some big secret to confess to Tetra, and—and it's not. Everyone knows how he feels. Everyone knows he'll be Tetra's consort. So it doesn't make any sense, whatever it is the pirates want from him. How's he supposed to declare something that already is?

Tetra says, “Well, I think they had flowers in mind to start with.” She shakes her head. “Oh, forget it. I'll talk to those morons. So vacation's up! You can stop slacking off and get back to doing your damn job, Captain.”

Link stuffs his picto box back into his bag and sets it down on the sand. He wrote to Aryll though, to ask her. And Aryll said, it didn't matter. If Tetra knows, if everyone knows—that's no reason not to go the extra effort to do something romantic. To surprise her. To sweep her off her feet.

“She always was the smarter one,” Tetra says. She quirks an eyebrow, a grin tugging at her lips, and waits. Link—even dense as he is—can tell the moment is right.

So he quickly swipes with his left foot and kicks Tetra's legs out from under her.

She hits the beach flat on her back with an oof that probably Tetra's going to make him regret later. But right here at this moment she's breathless, and speechless, and this whole suave romance thing is actually a lot easier than Aryll made it sound, Link reflects as he crouches down to kiss her.

Then he tastes the blood where she bit her tongue, and he quickly pulls his own back and wipes it on his sleeve. That's just gross.

Tetra makes a wheezy noise, and Link sits back on his heels to offer her a hand back to her feet—only he can't, on account of Tetra's cupped her hand at the nape of his neck and is pulling him back down. She's laughing so hard she's crying as she crushes his mouth back to hers, blood and all.

“H-hey, stupid kid,” she gasps, against his lips, “wanna get married? I'll sweep you off your feet.”

Yeah, Link figures—yeah, that works for him.