All is fair in love WITH war
Summary:
Sasuke sometimes kept forgetting that Naruto is, indeed, the most unpredictable ninja. And in this game of courtship, he might have lost the battle so far, but he wasn't going to lose the war.
Ninjaverse, post-698, 700 doesn't exist. SasuNaru (as in Naruto bottoming but no uke please). Definitely Comedy with a little bit of crack and stupid boys being in love but being too stubborn for their own good lmao. Explicit, anal sex.
AO3 link
--.--
When Sasuke received Naruto's message of “I need your help” he figured it was something about stupid like; buying him some instant ramen, or perhaps a booty call. What he didn't expect was the loud noises of firefighters extinguishing walls of fire and the dumbass’ sheepish smile as he was holding a blanket around his shoulders.
“Wait! I can explain.”
10 minutes ago…
“Alright…now just go, please. Just go. There's an open window right behind you, I'm begging you to go there.” Frantic whispers echoed while he paid attention to every miniscule movement, body curled up over the table.
The object in question just proceeded to slither in the living room innocuously, uncaring with the situation at hand. This, Naruto swore, was the biggest cockroach he had ever seen in his life. He squeaked terrified whenever it would protrude its wings, lamenting the fact that he didn't have anything to throw in that direction.
He watched with bated breath the cockroach moving towards the window. However, at that moment, it took flight and moved at a deft speed towards him.
Naruto gave out a very unmanly scream and bolted.
Now…
“So you lit your whole apartment on fire with Rasengan.” He deadpanned.
“No, not with Rasengan! There were some explosive tags that I placed in strategic locations that I could activate on emergency cases!” Naruto harrumphed, lifting his chin. “Rasengan probably fanned the flames.” He added scratching the back of his head.
The Uchiha rolled his eyes. “Alright, so how long is this going to take to fix this?”
The blond nin shrugged. “I already messaged Yamato-taichou, he said that once his mission is done, he’s coming over here to help me out. Anyways…” He clapped his hands together, squinting his eyes. “Can I stay over for tonight? Sakura and Ino are on vacation, they are returning tomorrow, I'll ask to stay with them later.”
His teeth clenched together, shoulders tensing in response. “Why go through such unnecessary steps? You can stay with me for as long as you want.”
Naruto widened his eyes, brightening at once. “Really??? Can I? Thanks Sasuke! You know…” He lowered his tone, coy and seductive. “I could repay your kindness with my body.”
Hn. “Sure, I have a mission tomorrow morning, so it’s better if you top.”
“What.” Naruto mumbled, flirtatious mood gone. “I almost lost my apartment today and I still have to do most of the work tonight?”
“I thought your endless stamina is good for one thing at least.” He responded, raising one eyebrow.
Blue eyes squinted, before relenting with a huff. “Whatever.” Naruto stood up, placing one cheeky kiss on his lips and growled close to his ear. “I’m gonna make you cum so many times that you’ll be late for the mission.”
Promises, promises. Sasuke could barely register the seconds passing as he dashed through the buildings, arriving in his house as fast as he could. He moaned when their mouths fused into a sizzling kiss, shoving the orange pants down as they stumbled towards his bed.
⏤.⏤
Placing a hand in front of his face while Sasuke attempted to block an incoming of jaw-popping yawn, he sighed happily when he received a peck on his lips.
“Morning!” Naruto sat in front of him, placing the bowl of rice and misso shiro on the table. “Hey, since I have a day off, I can cook some lunch for you if you want.”
“Cup ramen is not a suitable food for sustenance usuratonkachi.”
“I know that!” The blond protested, pouting. “I can cook regular food okay. I’ll even put some tomato salad since I know it’s your favorite.”
“I have to go now though, there are still some details we have to go through, some strategies we have to check.”
“So you’ll still be on the mission tower all morning right? It’s ok, once I’m done I’ll go there to personally give you the lunch. I’ll even make cute decorations, put it in a very pretty bento box just for you.” He fluttered his golden eyelashes mockingly, lacing his fingers.
“Dumbass.” Sasuke stood up, washed the dishes and put them on the rack. Slender fingers reached out to touch the whiskered cheek, mindlessly caressing with his thumb. He took his time to study every speckle brightening the cerulean eyes, blond eyelashes lowering as Naruto reached out for a long kiss. He moaned low on his throat, savoring the soft lips, gliding through each push and pull. Sasuke whispered, brushing their mouths together. “I'm off.”
Naruto hummed, giving him one last kiss. “Have a nice day then.”
It was a very odd day for Sasuke's teammates, as the Uchiha nin appeared to be in very high spirits, barely paying attention to the map of their mission, scribbling some nonsense while he just grunted in agreement whatever they would throw to him.
“So is Naruto arriving here soon? I hope.” Kakashi said, being the only one that connected the dots.
Sasuke made a non-committal noise, trying in vain to focus on the various appointed places and long instructions given.
He kept recalling their pleasant night, filled with mouths and hands touching everywhere, grunts and groans, cock thrusting as they reached the peak.
What really made an impact for him was the morning after, waking up with the sight of Naruto sleeping next to him, giving him lazy kisses as they prepared for the day. The way they prepared the breakfast table, cooked together while they chatted about whatever subject made him crave for more. Sure, the circumstances that lead to this might had happened due to Naruto's usual idiosyncrasies, but that didn't mean that he couldn't wheel this to his favor.
He should suggest that Naruto pack some clothes and the usual amenities, for his comfort, of course. The building's manager is an old man, too slow in fixing even the most insignificant issues. Plus, he doubted Naruto would be fast enough to find a painter and carpenter right off the bat. Till there he'd be able to convince him to stay with him, probably it'd be better getting ready to see when the lease was going to end.
“Well…” Kakashi muttered, seeing the calculating glint on Sasuke's eyes. “Time sure flies by, and seeing you two all grown-up gives me tears to my eyes. It's about time you two would live together after dating for over an year. I wonder when you are finally going to tie the knots.”
“We're…not dating.” Sasuke grumbled, his mood now souring.
The older nin stared back flabbergasted. He waited till they were the only ones left in the room and said. “There's no way you're not dating, not after the fact you two burned my retinas when I stumbled upon you kissing the daylights of each other in the ninja quarters.”
“It's not my decision, Naruto is the one who is the biggest dumbass ever graced on Earth.”
“What do you mean by⏤”
“Just ask him, he's close.” Sasuke mumbled noticing the dumbass’ chakra approaching, grin in place and bento box in hands.
“Good afternoon! Hey Kakashi-sensei, ‘sup?” He placed the box on the table, yawning. “Man, I gotta go. I'm dying to take a nap.”
“So!” The older nin raised his voice, picking his attention. "I heard that you're living with Sasuke.”
“For now.” Naruto corrected.
Kakashi shrugged. “Sure. You two sure went through a lot over the years. I remember back when you used to be rivals, always competing over anything. But who'd have that you'd go so far for Sasuke right…”
“Of course I'd do that for him. Sasuke is my best friend after all!” Naruto declared happily.
There was a shocked silence with Kakashi’s eyes bulging wide, noticing the small huff next to him. He managed to utter out. “Um. Best friend?”
“Mmhm. It's great to have Sasuke close, his friendship means so much to me.”
Kakashi glanced incredulously towards Sasuke, and the Uchiha nin just gave him a look back.
“But…I have seen you two k-kissing, right? That's something you'd do to Sasuke?”
Cerulean eyes blinked confused before squinting close. “Yeah, why not. It's part of our bonds right.”
“Okay…but I suppose…you two have done um. Much more than that. That's also because he's your best friend?”
Naruto sombered up and declared, hand on his chest. “I once promised myself that I'd show him how my friendship would run deep that I'd be able to take him out his personal darkness. All of this is part of my promise that I won't ever back down.”
Kakashi made such a pitiful face towards him, like he was a kicked puppy abandoned in the coldest winter, that Sasuke considered incinerating him on the spot.
“So that's what happens when we have young soldiers before they reach emotional maturity huh…”
“Spare me the dramatics Kakashi.” Sasuke growled.
No doubt wanting to aid his former students in this plight, Kakashi pressed on.
“Well…but things like kissing and other…things you'd do with someone…you probably wouldn't do with your best friend right? Let's think for a while, do you have any other close friend aside Sasuke?”
Naruto nodded. “Yeah, Gaara.”
“Alright…so, can you picture yourself doing these kinds of things with Gaara?”
With a small flicker of hope, Sasuke imagined that Naruto would scoff and deny, maybe few synapses would connect at last but the blue eyes kept contemplative. Naruto hummed, nodding slowly.
“Wait. What. I can't believe you're actually considering it.” The Uchiha growled.
“Well, now that Kakashi-sensei mentioned I can't not consider it!” Naruto shrugged.
Sasuke just gripped Naruto's hand very tightly, throwing a dirty glare to his former teacher and said. “That was some enlightening conversation. We should get going now.”
Fuck. So now not only he had to get worried of all potential rivals but also the possibility that Naruto might return their affection. Gaara was definitely on the top the list, who else. Sai, Neji and Hinata too. Maybe Shikamaru? He's currently dating Temari but who knows how much they are willing to open their relationship.
“Hey Sasuke, I think your teammates are calling for you.” Naruto pointed out, their hands still linked.
Fuck fuck. That's right, he's going away on a mission that's going to consume one whole week. “You better not destroy my house while I'm out.” He warned.
Blue eyes rolled impatiently. “I have stayed so many nights over there, I don't get why you're so paranoid.”
Quick in his mind, Sasuke seized the opportunity. “Okay. Then you better not have anyone in my home, who knows what they might do in there.”
“Sure, whatever, place is yours.” Naruto looked around, waiting till his teammates were busy chatting and gave him a chaste kiss, murmuring. “I'm going to miss you. Don't take too long ok.”
It was always those small, special moments that weighed in the relationship he had with the blond nin. Despite Naruto's obvious shortcomings, his transparency and honesty about his feelings towards him was a breath of fresh air when they lived in a world full of deceit and disappointment.
The possible threat that any of Naruto's suitors might make a move while he was miles away from Konoha was enough incentive for him to have laser focus in finishing the mission. Kakashi must have sensed his bad mood because with his aid they managed to end it in a neck-breaking speed of only 3 days.
Unfortunately for him, his gossipy teammates already spread the news like wild fire.
He was walking to deliver his mission, when he saw with increasing suspicion, Sakura smiling a little too widely.
“So! I heard the rumors about how Naruto is part of the free market right.” He attempted to ignore the teasing tone. She hummed. “I wonder if he still has a crush on me.”
“Aren’t you dating Ino?” Sasuke snapped.
“Ino is perfectly ok. She said she always wanted to have a threesome with a hot dude.”
Sharingan activated, promising silent murder.
“Alright calm down. Before you go all caveman, ‘Naruto is mine’ while you drag him by the hair, have you considered, you know, telling him your feelings so you can make all the possible suitors back the hell off?” Sakura tactfully pointed out the obvious.
“It's not that simple.”
“It is that simple. Just repeat after me: Naruto, what I feel about you goes beyond normal friendship. I want you to be my boyfriend and be exclusive to each other. Wow, would you look at that. My speech was so short that I wasn't short of breath.” She made a fake gasp, unable to contain her sarcasm.
This confident; that took no shit from him version of Sakura was such a pain.
Almost as if he was summoned by them, Naruto appeared behind them, enveloping her with a bear hug. “Sakura-chaaaaaaan!” He noticed Sasuke and exclaimed. “Hey Sasuke! You're already back!”
The taciturn man acknowledged with a short nod.
Naruto tightened his hold around Sakura grinning. “It's always nice to see you! You look cute every day.”
“Awww, thanks! It’s always nice hearing this from you.”
“Sure! Wanna go on a date with me?” Naruto recited in automatic; an old habit they maintained since they were teenagers.
But this time Sakura took her time to study her seething friend, a sly beam shown on her face. “Maybe I should.”
Mildly shocked, Naruto released his arms around her and paused. He muttered. “I'm not paying for that expensive restaurant you and Ino were planning to go next weekend.”
“Well, I'm not asking for that stupid Naruto!” She pinched his cheek none too gently, ignoring his feeble protests as his face was stretched wide. “Anyways, I should get going. See you!”
She threw one final significant glance towards Sasuke, mouthing silently ‘talk to him’ before going away.
He glared back, mind preoccupied that he didn't notice Naruto approaching, dry lips covering his own.
Reeling, Sasuke was quick to recover and dragged him to a secluded spot, surrendering his desires to taste his lover, drink the low moans getting intoxicated by his citrusy scent.
Naruto released with a happy sigh, fingers brushing lovingly the pale cheeks, eyes crinkling warmly.
“I thought I was going insane seeing you so soon. I missed you so much that I almost considered going to Suna to kidnap you.” He chuckled.
At the admission of that place, Sasuke could feel his mood darkening as he grumbled. “You're sure you're going to retrieve me instead of making out with your new best friend Gaara?”
Befuddled, Naruto slackened his jaw before he remembered the last conversation. “Oh, that! I was joking Sasuke. I wouldn't do something like that with Gaara.”
“But you did consider.”
Naruto threw his arms carelessly, untroubled. “I mean, he is hot anyways…”
An infinite number of murderous plans ran in his mind, one more gruesome than the other. While he was clouded with dark thoughts, he almost missed by a second a knowing smirk on the blond’s lips.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes.
⏤.⏤
Naruto definitely knew his feelings for Sasuke for a very long time. The moment he hit puberty, he figured, he probably shouldn't jerk off picturing his best friend, even when said best friend kept tempting him with that slutty outfit back when they were 16, his torso all wide open for his viewing pleasure. It couldn't be helped, and the faster Naruto accepted his crush, the better.
Thing is, Naruto could be very oblivious about most things, but he certainly understood Sasuke the most. And the bastard was always the most stubborn guy Naruto ever met. He could launch hours and hours of diatribe, he could get as many people trying to convince Sasuke otherwise but the asshole maintained resolute. Words are meaningless, he managed to make him change his mind through fists.
So either Naruto had to beat the shit out of him, or he could fuck the shit out of him. Different actions, similar results.
What Naruto had to do was plant suggestions so the genius would think it was his idea. Thus, reducing the chance of backlash.
For example: It wasn't his fault that he let his best friend ogle his nude upper body, today was just too hot and all the exercises just made him very sweaty.
Or, he couldn't help being kissed by Sasuke, it was just a coincidence he would be pinned on the ground in one of their spars, breath fanning close to his friend's face, moaning while he accidentally rubbed Sasuke's inner thigh.
He's helping Sasuke release some stress when he massaged his back while they were showering. Who'd have thought that massaging his cock would give such extraordinary results?
The first time they had sex was a series of fortunate accidents, of course. Hey, it's not his fault he was so irresistible that Sasuke pounced on him while they were taking a bath. They shared a night together because he didn't book two rooms at the inn. I mean, saving costs and everything, it's always good paying attention to that, right.
Things have evolved ever since, to the point that they practically spent every waking moment together. By day they would train or chat as usual, but almost every night they would be screwing their brains out. Which is great and all, and gave an interesting dimension to their already very complex relationship but Naruto did want to take the next step in the right direction.
How, though? The logical way would be finally confessing his feelings but somehow…Naruto was very resistant to this idea.
He wished to feel…wanted, after all.
That asshole forced him to spend 4 whole years chasing after him, ruined his 17th birthday and almost made him bleed to death to take him back to Konoha! The least he could do is confess his feelings first, not forcing Naruto to do instead one more goddamn time.
He didn't want to admit it but there was a nagging fear that Sasuke might backtrack and tell him what they had was purely physical, therefore Naruto couldn't take the first step yet. What if his romantic feelings weren't reciprocated?
So he used the oblivious bimbo mask so well that, save Shikamaru, no one noticed that he was feigning the whole friggin’ time. The fact that he was infamous for being dense also worked in his favor.
Plus, it's always so entertaining pressing Sasuke's buttons. The blond man sniggered to himself, remembering the time he mentioned Gaara, he could practically see a vein popping on the bastard's forehead. Who'd have thought that he would have such a possessive side? It was thrilling and kind of hot actually. Now Naruto just had to continue playing his cards right to get the results he wanted.
If only he wasn’t such an overcomplicated bastard, Naruto would have done the regular, SANE course of courting a person and asking on a date. But nope, he guessed that’s how it is, that’s how life was going to happen.
A mischievous grin emerged on his face, morphing to a chuckle that escaped through while he was walking to the Uchiha compound. He didn't notice that he was being tailed by one suspicious dark-haired nin.
⏤.⏤
Sasuke sometimes kept forgetting that Naruto is, indeed, the most unpredictable ninja.
The moment he figured that moron was smiling with a calculated edge, everything fell into place. The entire time when he thought he was making a move, Naruto was actually seducing him back!
He recalled all the ‘accidental’ movements that came from the blond nin, every brush on his hand, every touch that lingered was a premeditated plan.
Sasuke was already aware of his crush he had back when they were genin, so it was fairly easy to fall into this trap. Naruto kept tempting him all the time, slowly stripping his t-shirt right in front of him, gawking at the sturdy sweaty muscles. Or when the blond man tripped over him, almost triggering a 3rd accidental kiss. Or whenever he'd moan just right, relaxing on the spring water while Sasuke attempted to will down his erection.
And the popsicle, of course, the popsicle. Sasuke was way too busy wishing it was his dick thrusting in that mouth instead, that he didn't see the blatant signs. How the fuck he kept falling for that farce for so long?? He had Sharingan for heaven’s sake (that he used to record how that soft lips was wrapping tightly around the sweet treat).
Why did that idiot kept doing that for so long though? The first logical conclusion was trolling. Naruto loved teasing him and just because they were in a romantic relationship that didn't stop Konoha’s biggest prankster.
The next, and probably the main explanation, is that Naruto wanted him to make the first move, considering all the complicated past they had together. It was a fairly logical strategy because admittedly, he had a hard time trusting people and opening himself.
That dumbass really thought that he’d struggle this much to put his ego aside and recognize his feelings huh.
…Well, he’s absolutely right. Sasuke once had to bust his whole arm to admit that Naruto was much more important than his plans for revolution, does he really think that a flimsy plan such as this would be enough to sway him?
He might have lost the battle so far, though he wasn't going to lose the war. He arrived later in his house, enjoying the cosy noises as Naruto was cutting carrots to put in their curry gravy.
“I’m home.” He muttered, placing his shoes on the rack as he kissed the whiskered cheek.
“Welcome home, help me out and cook the rice for me ok.”
Sasuke obeyed him, as they finished the day with the usual teasing quips while they ate dinner and watched a movie before going to bed. He allowed himself to relax listening to noises of kunais clashing through the TV, his chin tucked on the top of Naruto’s golden hair, hands linked.
See. They could spend the rest of their days in this blissful life but no, that usuratonkachi just had to make this whole elaborate ploy. He will confess his feelings towards Naruto eventually, of course. Naruto just had to do it first.
That’s all.
Really.
To make matters more complicated, he heard that the Suna confederation was arriving for diplomatic affairs, which obviously included their beloved leader, Sabaku no Gaara.
Of all the friendships Naruto had collected throughout his life, Sasuke felt threatened by Gaara the most. He knew, logically speaking, Naruto deserved being surrounded by people who cherished him and there’s no discernible threat from a platonic love. Gaara represented something else entirely. He might be the closest Naruto felt as a kinship, as fellow jinchuurikis. Sure, Naruto was also friends with Killer Bee but since they both suffered similar childhood trauma and had the same age, Sasuke was forced to admit to himself that there were some facets of Naruto’s life that only Gaara would understand, no one else.
Not to mention that he always had a nagging sensation that Gaara would gladly take his place if only Sasuke didn’t hold Naruto’s heart first and foremost.
Nevertheless, whenever Naruto would visit Gaara or vice-versa, he was forced to hear the dumbass’ incessant and excited blabber, trying to keep his jealousy at bay. Thank the Gods that Gaara lived in another country, he had to tolerate this event only for a few weeks occasionally.
They were getting back from the Hokage Tower after an exhausting day, Naruto could feel Sasuke’s bad mood practically oozing in every pore. An impish idea reeled in his mind, so he said.
“Oh yeah! You don’t have to cook dinner for me for the next few days, I already talked with Gaara and he had a spare room for me to stay in the hotel they booked.”
The Sharingan almost manifested but Sasuke closed his eyes, willing his temper down. “Okay.”
“...okay?”
He managed to shrug his shoulders as unconcerned as possible. “Sure, it’s been a while since you saw him right? You probably have a lot to talk about.”
Naruto quirked an eyebrow, confusion escalating. He craned his face closer to inspect Sasuke's blank expression. “Really? You won’t mind me and Gaara spending all day together?”
The Uchiha nin summoned every inch of his patience, not following the blatant provocation. “Hn. I can't control who you will or might want to see.” He then laid his own trap, smirking. “Unless you have good reasons for me to stake the claim, of course.”
Blue eyes stared mystified. Sasuke’s smirk broadened.
They took long seconds silently perusing each other, walking through the empty streets. Something about Sasuke’s haughty air made Naruto groan in dawned comprehension, the Uchiha just snorted back.
He supposed that he could drop the fake naiveté and go straight to Sasuke’s weakest points.
“Maybe before I meet Gaara, I should buy some lube and condoms, who knows what might happen in the future…”
Red iris flashed.
-SNIP-
In the span of only one second, Naruto could feel his t-shirt shattering into small pieces, fluttering to the ground. He glanced incredulous, cool graphite eyes staring back at him.
“Ah. Whoops. My hand slipped.” Sasuke muttered in the most nonchalant tone he could muster.
Naruto grumbled some curses, then shrugged. “Whatever, I can still go with my pants o⏤”
-SNIP-SNIP-SNIP-
And just like that, he felt a breeze passing through his legs, orange fabric all tattered.
“Whoops again. How embarrassing of me.” The Uchiha said monotone once again, even though a quirk on the corner of his lips said otherwise.
Asshole. Bastard. Son of a bitch. Prick. Shithead. His murderous thoughts halted once he noticed Sasuke’s close proximity, fingers brushing on his buttock.
“I can give you some of my spare clothes in my home if you want.”
“You better give me your entire wardrobe after that.” He growled through gritted teeth.
⏤.⏤
Naruto barely registered his back pressed to the wall, mouth open ready to swallow Sasuke's lustful grunt, his own hands grabbing the expensive fabric.
He breathed out in between kisses. “You’re a bastard.”
“And yet you still can’t get enough of me.” Sasuke murmured, groping his lover’s ass in retaliation when canines sank on his lower lip.
Naruto frowned from the clear disparity as he was only in his boxers while the asshole was clothed from head to toe. He ripped the turtleneck apart, uncaring to the glare he received as he attacked the pale neck. Before he could completely focus in pleasuring his lover, he still had to ask. “When did you realize everything?”
Sasuke snorted, grunting when Naruto sucked a sensitive area. “You laid too thick talking about Gaara, I could see it in your smile idiot.”
Dammit. Naruto cursed to himself. He was getting so close. He inhaled sharply when slender fingers caressed his body, mouth latching on his nipple. His hands held Sasuke’s face to catch his attention, raising for another drugging kiss.
Sasuke could feel the warm hand unzipping his pants, palming his half-erect dick. When he noticed the tanned fingers were trying to slither inside his boxers, he halted holding the wrist. That dumbass had no concept of foreplay.
Naruto grunted in protest, mouths still thoroughly attached together. He thrust his hips forward, grinding their clothed cocks but Sasuke halted with a hand in between, teasing with fluttering movements, one leg up languidly brushing his balls.
“Fuck! Bastard, c’mon…” He walked backwards on the general direction of their bedroom, hands holding the back of the dark hair. Sasuke was always so goddamn slow. He growled. “If you keep fucking around maybe I should take matters with my own hands.”
He felt the soft texture of their bed as they teleported instantly with Rinnegan (what a waste of chakra), also detecting a certain constraint around his wrists. Looking upward, he saw that he was handcuffed to the headboard.
Sasuke covered Naruto’s hands, stopping him from calling his clones. “Don’t you even dare.”
“Why do I have to tag along with your fetich⏤Aaaaaah!” He was rewarded with a hard grind, Sasuke freeing his erection from the confines of his boxers.
However, he took his sweet time in removing his pants, gliding it down with the navy blue underwear. Naruto drank at the sight of Sasuke’s taut muscles, nimble limbs, scars that varied in dimension and history, that showed the harsh burdens from being a shinobi. He loved Sasuke’s every flaw and weakness that made him so special. Even if he drove the blond man insane sometimes.
Sasuke squirted some lube on his hand, using it to glide smoothly through the length. They had done this so many times, he knew Naruto’s body with sharp expertise, every lustful gasp, how his nostrils flared when he tapped the ridge. He slowly increased the rhythm, Naruto’s moans growing in cadence.
He then coated his fingers with more lube, not wasting any second by spearing it inside. Naruto widened his legs in response, waist rolling together as if he wanted to take in more. The handcuffs clattered and rattled, wrists showed some angry lines marring his sun-kissed skin.
He curled his fingers inside the tight channel, stimulating his lover’s prostate with growing motion, as another hand pressed the perineum. Naruto tossed his head to the side, pleasured mewls punctuating with each gasp. He screamed when Sasuke returned his attention to the swollen cock, pre-cum flowing from the slit.
“Sasuke⏤Sas⏤Aaaah! Oh fuck yes⏤! C’mon!”
His lover just widened a wicked smirk, as he continued to stroke the prostate, his face nuzzled on the tanned chest and planted a playful kiss on it.
“Oh God! C’mon you bastard!”
“Impatient aren’t you?”
Naruto swore to himself, he’s going to kill this asshole after all this. “C’mon…I need it⏤” He breathed out.
“Mmm? Need what?” Sasuke drank on the sight of his lover’s lustful eyes, black iris practically eclipsing the cerulean hue.
Naruto clenched his jaw, his pride still unable to concede defeat. “I need you⏤”
“I’m already here usuratonkachi.” Sasuke pointed out, his eyes twinkling in mischief.
“FUCK. YOU. AAARGH. I need your cock bastard! I need your cock in me!”
He didn’t need to tell him twice, shouting in delight when he felt the hot rod penetrating him and robbing his air. They settled a ruthless pace, because Sasuke knew that’s how his lover enjoyed, being thoroughly fucked with piercing thrusts.
Naruto loathed the fact that he had his arms constrained, unable to pull him impossibly closer till their bodies would merge completely. His legs tightened around Sasuke’s waist, crying out when teeth sank on his hard nipple, tongue licking over the bite mark. He attempted to free his wrists once again, pleading.
“Kiss⏤kiss me⏤” They moaned in unison when their swollen lips glided over each other smoothly, another sharp impale had them reeling. Their kisses echoed altogether with wet noises of their bodies smacking, balls slapping on his ass.
Sasuke could feel his orgasm crawling through his skin, though he willed it down, not until Naruto would cum first. He loved seeing the enraptured expression on his face, the small shudders in delight, how the mouth slowly slackened in a silent scream, eyes rolled upwards. They rode the pleasurable waves together as it kept rising in intensity, higher and higher till they reached rapture, creamy viscous liquid splashed on the tanned stomach, filled inside his ass.
Panting as they were recovering from the high, Naruto gently kicked Sasuke’s chest, as he understood the silent command and dislodged his cock from his lover. He shook the handcuffs, blue eyes glancing towards the gadget so Sasuke obeyed him, freeing his wrists.
Naruto rubbed his wrists, sitting up as he positioned face to face towards him. Warm fingers touched his cheek, a languid kiss reached his mouth. For now, there were only quiet smacking of lips overlapping and matching, contrasting to the fervent lust they had moments ago.
Naruto released him and asked. “Alright. So, aren’t you supposed to say something to me?”
Sasuke wrinkled his nose. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean, the fact that you won’t let me have anything remotely romantic with other people means something to us right?”
“I have no clue.” The Uchiha recited almost airily.
Naruto huffed and glowered.
“What about you? Isn’t it time for you to confess something? The fact that you kept this ruse for so long? Why would you go so far for me?” Sasuke questioned instead.
“Didn’t we have this conversation years ago? I’m your friend, I’m so glad I met you and I want to shoulder your darkness bla bla bla etc?” He said rapidly.
“Don’t give me that bullshit usuratonkachi. That part we already covered, but why do you want to spend your time with only me? Care to share?”
“Um. It’s always nice being with my best friend right.” Naruto singsonged, avoiding his gaze.
Sasuke closed his eyes and mumbled. “Did you know that I have an almost photogenic memory?”
That sudden information caught him off guard. “Huh? So what?”
“Did you really think I'd forget that back when we met at the Orochimaru’s lab, the whole reason you took so long to counterattack, was because you couldn't stop staring at my open chest?” Sasuke quirked a victorious smirk.
Naruto sputtered. “That was⏤! I mean, I was⏤! Bastard! Just admit your feelings for me!” He exploded.
“Shouldn’t you do this too?” Sasuke growled, his patience also snapping.
“You have to first!”
Naruto glared. Sasuke glared back.
The fight was on. The first man that would confess the undying love he had for the other would lose.
(they still had enough energy to have angry sex)
⏤.⏤
And thus, all Konoha citizens could mark that line in history when their strongest ninjas of their country were exhibiting aggressive PDA right in front of their poor eyes.
It all started quite tame, when Sasuke was just talking with one of his teammates when he felt a pinch on his ass.
“Sorry about that, it was just begging for me to grope it.” Naruto shrugged, ignoring the venomous glare in return.
Sasuke later retaliated by cornering him, grabbing his jacket and kissing him. Fingers fluttered over the covered nipple and injected the smallest amount of electricity.
“Ahnn⏤aaaaaaaaaaaaaah! You kinky bastard, what did you do???” The blond nin managed to cover the incoming moan, crossing his arms.
“It was just a small accident, don’t take it to heart usuratonkachi.” The brunet smirked, puffing away.
On the next day, Naruto used his jinchuuriki abilities and injected a good amount of chakra on Sasuke’s spine, he shivered in response.
“It was just an accident, asshole!” Naruto blew a raspberry, hopping away from the incoming Chidori aimed his way.
Their small war unfortunately continued to escalate. From Sasuke sweeping his feet just so he could catch him mid-fall and stealing a kiss, to Naruto using his clones to drag him to a secluded alley.
One would think that with their daily skirmishes meant that they wouldn’t do anything by night. Sadly for all their neighbors, this fact was absolutely untrue. If anything, their moans and screams have grown louder much to their aggravation.
After a whole week in this battle, Naruto stopped Sasuke while the latter was in the Hokage tower ready to take another mission.
“Hey, by the way…I fixed my apartment.”
He saw how Sasuke tensed his shoulders, feet glued to the ground. “I see.”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “So…?”
His lover just stared, his usual apathetic demeanor now looking conflicted.
Naruto tried to push a little bit more. “And my contract is almost expiring, I might need to renew my lease.”
Sasuke grunted again. “I see.”
While all the other ninjas kept passing by, they were clueless why both men were completely petrified, wordless communication happening between them. For long minutes, they just observed the blond nin hunched shoulders, with Sasuke crossing his arms.
Out of nowhere, Naruto groaned loudly and aimed a kick towards the Uchiha nin’s face. “ARGH! You're the most stubborn bastard I ever met in my whole life!”
Sasuke dodged, hand already reaching for his katana and unsheathing it. “Me?! You’re the one who is the most hard-headed moron in this whole world!”
Naruto blocked the incoming slashes with his kunai, calling for two clones. The other ninjas in vicinity either fled away or mumbled requests for them to stop.
Sasuke managed to kick away the clones as they disappeared in clouds of smoke, ducking from a punch aimed to his shoulder. He made a few hand signs, puffed his chest ready to deliver a fireball. Naruto also got ready for his water jutsu.
“YOU TWO. STOP FIGHTING IN THE HOKAGE TOWER YOU BRATS!” A thunderous scream shook the building as Tsunade punched them both, throwing them off the place and making a huge hole on the ceiling.
Sasuke and Naruto fell a mile away, nursing their swollen cheeks.
The brunet sighed. “This is pointless. Anyways, it’s about time for our dinner. Let’s go.”
The blond nin considered and broadened a playful grin. “Only if it’s a date then.”
Dark eyes gazed back and he muttered in deadpan. “You know, I used to like you better when you used to play the clueless dumbass.”
Naruto harrumphed back.
The restaurant Sasuke chose was more of a high-end cuisine, as the hostess hurried to find an empty seat for them. They sat facing each other, silently regarding the present situation.
“Alright.” Naruto conceded. “I think it’s obvious what we have each other and why we’re struggling to confess it. So…I have an idea.”
Sasuke rolled his eyes.
“Don’t roll your eyes on me you asshole!” Naruto banged on the table. “Listen. I’m going to count to three. On three, we’ll confess together. How does that sound?”
A black eyebrow was raised.
Naruto made short jumps on his seat, psyching himself. “Alright, here we go! On three. One, two, three!”
There was only silence.
“You didn’t go through with my plan!” Naruto yowled.
“Because your plan is idiotic and unnecessary. You also didn’t obey your own plan.”
“Because I thought you’d do the honorable thing and tell me first.”
“You first dumbass.” Sasuke smirked.
“No, you first!”
“You fir⏤”
“OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOD, YOU TWO COULD JUST STOP.” A feminine shrill boomed in the whole restaurant.
Ino appeared behind their booth, gnashing her teeth, despite her girlfriend attempting to stop her from clobbering them.
“I’m serious! How the fuck do you manage around these two dumbasses?! I thought my team was dysfunctional but yours take the cake Sakura!” She complained, trying to pry away Sakura’s hand tying around her waist.
“Why are you here?” Sasuke muttered, narrowing his eyes.
“Oh, you have no place to be suspicious of me, Uchiha Sasuke! I booked this place months ago okay. I wanted to visit this restaurant waaaaaay before you two dunces decided to bother us! I just wanted a quiet and nice date with my girlfriend, but now I have to suffer hearing you two! Well, I’m over it!” Ino slapped on the table and said. “Sasuke, stop being so fucking paranoid and admit that you love Naruto. Naruto, stop being so insecure, Sasuke is not running away if you tell him the truth, he’s just being a fucking bitch.”
“Wait, I’m not being insecure⏤” “I’m not that paranoid⏤” The men tried to defend themselves but Ino had no time for bullshit.
“I don’t care! GET OUT.” She used her mind control jutsu and booted them out.
Twice in a row they had gotten a thorough beating from women. This time, they were rubbing their backs, standing up outside. The street lamps flickered with a constant buzz, the moon illuminated their night.
“Did Ino tell the truth?” Sasuke inquired, sobering up.
Naruto gazed back at his long-time rival, best friend and lover. He strayed his eyes to the ground, taking his time in reflection and admitted. “Yeah. I mean, sometimes I admit that I’m too intense with anything about you, you know? Maybe I kept pushing you around, it might tire you. So I wanted…to be a little reciprocal.” He finished the last sentence with a whisper.
“Hn.” Sasuke paused with his own contemplation. “There’s nothing for you to be afraid of, and you know that usuratonkachi. The whole reason I’m here, alive and well is solely because of you. I want to be next to you, today, tomorrow, from any day forward.”
Whatever shadow that was marring Naruto’s face melted away to a blossoming grin. “Really? I’m glad. There’s no one else I want to spend my life with Sasuke. Only you.”
Sasuke nodded, covering his mouth to hide his own smile.
Their stomachs growled. Oh right, they were still hungry.
“I’ll cook you Ramen tonight. Let’s go to our home, Naruto.” He raised his hand, expecting. Naruto didn't miss the small blush dusting the pale cheeks.
He laughed, linking their fingers. “I’ll make you some onigiris. I’m putting some natto inside!”
“Don’t you dare.”
⏤.⏤
AN: I swear to God that I was going to write an honest-to-God serious fanfic. But then they are so…stupid, I can’t. They are both very stupid, stubborn boys.