🔪 landon n magda hehehoho
🔪 for the eulogy my muse would give for yours.
Magda didn’t end up reading out this eulogy or even going inside of the funeral. She smoked outside instead. Seven cigarettes consecutively. Rather than go anywhere or be seen by anyone, it stayed on a crumpled page of lined a4.
Hi. I’m I don’t know why I got asked to do this. It’s kind of fucking weird to be honest with you. I guess I shouldn’t say that part but who’s gonna stop me? The FBI? Betty Cooper? Hi. I don’t think this is any of your business but I guess everyone’s a freak in here and you’re all obsessed with what I think. Go figure ‘cause my dick’s so fucking huge. Maybe you’re not meant to talk about dicks at funerals this kind of thing. I’ve never been to one so I wouldn’t know and if that’s a rule then everyone here’s a pussy. I don’t know what to say. I thought about quoting a lyric he likes but that’s kind of embarrassing ‘cause that’d be admitting I know lyrics he likes. Something by Death Cab ‘cause he’s he was an emo little twink like that. Honestly pretty embarrassing to write any of this. It’s also pretty fucking annoying ‘cause now I know all these lyrics he likes and what’s the deal with that? They don’t mean shit to anyone else and now they’re just taking up space inside my head ‘cause Landon’s dead so I don’t get the point of them being there. But they’re here and he isn’t and that’s pretty fucking annoying. He’s annoying. If he was alive I’d bite him. I want to. Really hard actually. ‘Cause I like learning facts and I liked learning those which is, again, fucking embarrassing. But now it’s just like. What’s the point in knowing that? I don’t have anything to do with them any more. No-one cares what his favourite lyrics are were. Writing were makes me want to eat this paper, by the way. And he’s just some twink that does did this weird little jog to cross the road so he doesn’t DIDN’T hold up traffic and now he’s dead which is really inconvenient and annoying for me personally. Like I don’t care it’s just inconvenient and there’s all these facts in my head that I don’t need any more but they won’t go. I don’t think they’ll ever go. Talk about a lingering fucking fart. So, yeah. Like I said. I don’t know why I got asked to do this. I don’t want to. You should all mind your fucking business.
