#so much complaining

[fictionalred]

srsly what is it with extroverts and needing this lockdown to be over   ? I just don’t understand

[kittyboo8015]

Vampire Nile is slowly driving me to drink 🍷 fml 😞

[arkatrine]

i have over 8k hours in gw2 and still no pre drop

[mikeywaysbass]

post prank must have sucked for peter oml

[kgxrv]

now that i’m in college i think it’s time i revive this account, i mostly used tumblr my freshman year of high school so i think i should do it again my freshman year of college

[swept-you-out-again]

Thinking about that time I thought joining stan twitter would be a good idea

[soberqueerinthewild]

PERSONAL RANT TIME (a very long, kind of petty, very personal rant is below the cut. I just needed to write it out). 

Sorry y’all I have to rant and this is a place where I know it won’t get back to my family and throwing it out to the universe in this way is helping me. As I’ve written about sporadically on here, I’ve been struggling with infertility and doing IUI and IVF for nearly a year and a half. It’s been a lot logistically and emotionally and because of some issues with a clinic locally and some connections I have plus a lot of boring insurance related things I’ve been doing the IVF cycles in the state where my parents live, which means staying with them for weeks at a time sometimes (I work from home, so i’m able to do this). I am lucky that they are supportive of me in a lot of ways but some things have been driving me crazy. 

My mother asks me CONSTANTLY about what’s going on with the IVF stuff. All the time. I have told her repeatedly that it stresses me out and depresses me to talk about it all the time. I have told her that when there are things she needs to know i will tell her them. When I know when I’ll need to stay with her, I’ll let her know as soon as I do, but I do not want her to ask. I have asked her if there’s a reason she’s asking me these things (i.e. any reason why I wouldn’t be able to stay at their house. Like I can stay there if they aren’t home, or I can make other arrangements if needed) and she always says no, i can come anytime, I don’t need to give a lot of notice. I have then repeated that what feels supportive to me is for her to not ask me about it, but she still did. This last month I wrote an email detailing what next steps were so she could refer back to it. Again, I repeated that I did not want my family to ask what was going on, and that I would update them when I knew anything more that they needed to know. 

And yet today AGAIN my mom asked me what was happening with some testing I need to get done. I reminded her of what I’ve asked for, and she said that maybe my idea of what she needs to know and what she actually needs to know are different. So I again asked her why she would need to know. If there would be an issue with me staying with her on short notice, or what? And she got upset and said she wants me to know she’s interested and she cares. But like, being supportive and showing you care in my opinion is respecting what someone has repeatedly told you they want. I have told her how she can support me and so it feels disrespectful to me that she pushes what she thinks of as support on me when I’ve told her that it is actually the opposite of supportive or helpful to me. 

Anyways, I know I am lucky to have their support in this and so many things and I should probably just let it go and answer her questions but I’m just... it’s been a lot emotionally and physically on me and I think about it and have to manage logistics about it all the time, so I just don’t want to talk about it when i don’t have to. I am sure no one got to the end of this, but it made me feel better just to write it.