It sucks you're stressed, but I love reading you pout about how much you want to be an empty brainwashed toy. Here's hoping you get the opportunity soon, but you'd better keep voicing your frustration for us to get off to ;P
I just. I just want it so bad. I want to have the full, deep drop. That ... blissful, feeling of being trapped inside myself with no way out and up. I just want to be blank and peaceful and manipulated. I want to be posed and played with. I want to be confused and tricked. I want to be triggered and implanted with post suggestions. I want to be wiped clean and have my memory played with. I want to be lusted over and used and abused and loved and Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh