weird how sobriety is actually making me more insane than active use
guy at coffee place said he liked my hair , and i just burst into tears and couldnt stop crying for the rest of my walk home
its like i am experiencing true emotions for the very first time, and my brain isnt used to it, and my reactions to things are strange
suddenly i can see truth
and its very intimidating , i want to return to ignorance , blissful unawareness
i can look back but i can never fully turn around . I have to keep walking forward even if it hurts more than anything ive ever felt
i cannot relax my jaw , i cannot hold my jaw comfortably and it is so fucking annoying , couldnt sleep last night because of it , i am grinding my teeth constantly i cant stop, i twitch now , my mouth especially keeps twitching involuntary , my body is confused , i used for 5 years straight every day with only brief intervals of sobriety , and my body is craving , my body is screaming
day 56 , im in hell , but , i can do it
i can do this
