whats your stance on pretty privilege? genuinely curious because lately i wondered if i maybe have been able to get things (friends, a job..) more easily because im considered a conventionally attractive woman. im scared it means im not competent/interesting but people just feel more open towards me because they consider me attractive..
You know, I think that all women should believe, very firmly, that they deserve and have the right to the good things they earn/achieve/have access to in their lives. Men tell us every day that we don't deserve anything positive at all. Nonnie, please don't question why you have joy and sweetness in your life; you deserve it. Spend your time ensuring your own health and happiness, and the health and happiness of the women and girls in your community.
I think the concept of "pretty privilege" is gendered in the phrase, and so the concept tends to be gendered in the discourse. We live in patriarchy, so this debate should really focus on how men who are perceived as fitting aesthetic ideals may or may not be awarded privileges over men who do not fit those ideals.
My personal opinion is aligned with the sociological studies that show evidence of bias when it comes to how people choose, on sight, whom to trust/believe in/care about/respond positively to. Men who fit aesthetic ideals, including racist, ableist, and homophobic aesthetic ideals, are privileged in male-dominated societies. This is how propaganda and advertisement function; individuals who fit an aesthetic ideal are used to vallorize groups of people and "desired" ideologies. Individuals who do not fit a culture's aesthetic ideal are used to vilify and other certain groups of people and "undesired" ideologies.
I think sometimes there is a lot of confusion between the word "attractive" and the phrase "aesthetic ideal". Attraction has to do with a person's physical and mental response to stimuli. Aesthetic ideals are philosophical constructs, created and practiced by specific cultural groups. Attraction certainly influences aesthetic ideals, and aesthetic ideals can influence attraction, but they are not the same thing. You (and many others) can be naturally and wholeheartedly attracted to someone who does not fit the aesthetic ideal of any given culture.
I think many people simply haven't studied the history of aesthetics alongside political history, which is a shame. It's absolutely irrefutable that aesthetic ideals reflect political ideology. It is also irrefutable that aesthetic ideals influence personal choice. Collective personal choices make up collective action. Systemic privileges are created by collective action. And thus, therefore, and so on.
It's just weird to me that this is a debate. Racism would not exist if humans didn't commonly and mostly unquestioningly use aesthetic ideals to judge people's inherent worth. Racism would not exist if those in power were not able to create and propagate aesthetic ideals that influence both personal and collective choice. People's attitudes towards others are subject to all sorts of biases. Stories are full to the brim with equating fitting an aesthetic ideal with inherent goodness. Of course, the opposite examples exist, like the femme fatal and the antichrist, but, frankly, those archetypes prove the rule. So, too, do children's stories like the ugly duckling and the little goose girl. You can't even understand those stories without the unstated and universally acknowledged truth that most people do, indeed, judge a book by its cover. And, for most, it's their culture's aesthetic ideals that are being used to make those judgements.
None of this means that women who fit aesthetic ideals set within patriarchy are treated with less misogyny. On that subject, my opinion is that patriarchy finds unique methods of torturing all women and girls. As feminists we should just acknowledge that and be extra goddamn kind to and protective of one another, no matter how our mistreatment and trauma at the hands of men differs. We should especially be careful to value one another based on the content of one each other's character, first and foremost, and also find ways to enjoy everyone's specific and intriguing physical features in both platonic and romantic ways.
That's my stance. Please remember what I said about the joys and sweetnesses of your life; you deserve them.
