#societal convention

[bi-accident]

[sufyawning]

the conventions of marriage

letters to a young poet by rilke // blessing of the young couple before marriage by pascal dagnan-bouveret // trick mirror by jia tolentino // 80′s bridal magazine // bisexuality and the eroticism of everyday life by marjorie garber

[anything-advice-blog]

Submission

Hello! You don’t need to answer this right away, just make sure that it’s answered before June 27 because I will be leaving the city the next day. So… During one full month this summer, I will be going to a training summer camp to become camp counselor. Female, 17yo, and…. I have a lot of body hair (and it’s very dark). I have come to terms with myself and decided not to shave it (in my everyday life and during this summer camp) because honestly, it’s a pain in the *** as it grows back the next day (thicker and darker, as many of you may know heh). And when I wax it, it hurts too much.

I was just wondering, since I will be animating activities with young children (around 6-8yo, I think), if seeing my hairy legs (and arms) will shock them? I’ve already had 5yo kids telling me “haha you look like a daddy” when they see my hairy arms (not that it bothers me being seen as a dude, but it surprised my that a 5yo already had these ideas of ‘female = no hair’ VS 'male = hair’). 

Yeah um…. I just wanted to know if any of you have already had experiences like this, and if you could give me some advice. Thank you in advance. (BTW you are all doing a great job here, thanks so much to all the admins for all the amazing answers you give us)

(please tag this with 'Ren’)

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Hi love,

First of all, congratulations on making the decision not to shave! It's not always easy to make a choice that goes against society's grain, so I applaud you for that!

Young children are exposed daily to images and portrayals of how "female" and "male" are conventionally expected to be, and often times grow up believing that these are norms. Anything outside of that norm may be strange to them (hence the statements made by the 5 year old kids you mentioned).

That being said, I don't think you need to worry about shocking them. If these kids do make comments about it, you can always use that as an opportunity to educate them. Say things like, "Some mommies have hair on their arms and legs, too!" or you can elaborate, "Lots of girls have hair there too, but sometimes they just want to take them off. I like mine so I keep them on!" If they tell you it looks weird, you can just say that it's because they've never seen it before, but it doesn't make it weird, just something new! New things can seem weird sometimes, but once you understand them, they're not much to fret about.

Don't be afraid to help them understand that there is no such thing as a "correct" male or female body. And who knows, maybe when some of those kids grow up they'll decide not to shave too, and they might thank you for teaching them that it's okay.

Have fun at the camp!

I'm here for you, Eunice

[noella-bella]

Y'all wanna know my favorite societal convention I've gotten over? Leg hair. Like, shit man, I only shave when I'm feeling feminine and wanna put on a cute dress and lotion up to the point that I'm smooth as a fuckin dolphin. (Which is actually exceedingly rare these days.) But I used to be soooo caught up in not wearing shorts unless I shaved. Like, "no don't wear that your legs aren't shaved" which in the summer turned into "nope legs are too pale because you wore pants too long because you didn't shave." Now I just look at a pair of shorts, look at my two-months-unshaven legs and go "Awwww yisssssssss."

[ssickkboyy]

Men are like hand guns.

Keep one around enough and you're going to want to shoot it.