The chatter of various topics ranging from ideal aesthetics of preferential genders, recollections of past times, and more. It all melted together lost in a background symphony. I glared upon the stars, not asking a higher being why are things the way they are, not asking or hoping for things to be better. But questioning myself. Trying to understand my own purpose, my own meaning in such a expendable life so far lived.
A tree is only a tree because we call it a tree. It helps us organize our thoughts, to give things meaning that is. It often concerns me to think, that the only meaning I have in life is the meaning I give it. The only purpose in life, is the purpose I perceive it to have.
What defines us? Our relationships? With that of our friends, family, and those we love? How can we believe that we can "love" someone any less than someone else. It is because we say so, not because it actually is. But this all goes to show actuality upon everything.
I have very rarely used the word hate for example, and maybe even more rarely used the word love. Why? Because I give those words meaning. The interesting thing is, meaning is differentiated per person. Someone else might hate everything and everyone, and another the exact opposite. I learned in my sociology class this is called polysemy which means "The coexistence of many possible meanings for a word or phrase." I find it interesting how one person can hate someone, and at the same rate, another can love them. More importantly, I try to understand how this coexistence can exist. What about us give us such an ability. And what does this mean, upon the way I myself look upon my life, and the components and various mechanisms of it.
Ultimately this means, when I am upset about how I treated by someone, it means I give that person too much control, too much meaning. But it's interesting how we get to this point is it not? When good things happen, we become ignorant to the possibilities of bad things. This especially is true when we want something. We will use any message we get, to fit our preconceptions and wants and give meaning to things. In communications we focus on the two components of a message. The content level of the message, and the relationship level of a message. This is interesting because, the content level of the message is the literal message, "Today was fun" means exactly that. However, the relationship level of the message can make one interpret the message as something else. Given the message and give it context, say for example after a first date, one might assume that this message "Today was fun" may imply the want for a future date. The listener however, must take into consideration the various other things that have occurred, his assumption on how the date went, has that changed from before the date and after it. The body language and other nonverbal communication mechanisms that took place before, during and after the date, as well as even during the time the message was given.
All of this analysis, causes me to do this in everyday life. It makes life difficult because far to often I am busy analyzing everything that is said, I forget that it doesn't always have to be that complicated. So in the end, I have come to realize that I need to stop putting meaning in everything that I do, and stand back from the technicalities of life, and just enjoy it.