So, in the last 24 hours my bestie @lifeofkaze and my new friend @official-weasley both published the last chapters of their multi-chapter fics, my favourite serial commenter @whatwouldvalerydo posted a short about my new OTP and an extract from her next chapter (ft. my best boy), and my first ever follower (who I am SO happy to see back from a tumblr hiatus) @gaygryffindorgal has blogged her latest story… and I just wanted to say that I’m BLOWN AWAY by the sheer talent that my writer mutuals have!!! You guys amaze and astound me, every single day.
Lots of love from a soft and tipsy Al 💛
(Artie, what do you think you are doing, you delinquent?!)
Hi there! I’m a fan of your stories and always look forward to reading a new one! I’ve noticed they sometimes mention Addi’s insecurities regarding her lack of experience compared to Alex’s. I haven’t read all of the list yet, but has there been one where they actually have the “number of partners” talk? What do you think theirs numbers would be and how would Alex handle easing her insecurities? Thanks!
Oh gosh, this is an awkward and uncomfortable conversation to have anyway you slice it. I actually recently had this chat with Mary F'n Poppins... the guy that floats into my life every now and again to screw with my emotions. We were on FaceTime and I told him to guess, and he deadpanned looked at me and went "there's no good answer for me. Either I guess a high number and you're offended I think you're a slut, which I absolutely do not even if you've slept with 50 people (I liked that he added that in to save his ass). Or I guess a low number and you're offended I don't think you could get more guys to sleep with you."
And I never thought of it that way, but that's true. This conversation doesn't need to come early on in a relationship but I think it does for A&A. Mostly because Addi's curious if Alex even knows the number of women he's slept with. The number she's imagining is worrisome, and she'd like him to put her at ease if possible.
Personally, before we get into the meat of this fic, I think their numbers are far different. Addi's still pretty young when they get together and by the everything about her, she doesn't really strike me as the one night stand type of person. That's not to knock one night stands. But I feel like she's so guarded with people, particularly guys, that she doesn't allow herself to be vulnerable with them so quickly. And sex, regardless of intimacy, roughness, emotion, is vulnerable. You're literally bearing everything to this other person -- Addi didn't even want to do that with some of her exes. So personally, I see her number being low low. Like, three or four including Alex. Maybe 5. Maybe she's a late bloomer to the world of sex, too. I feel like that also tracks for her.
And Alex... shit. I think his number is like 5 just from the week before he met Addi. You know? So there's a difference here.
SO ANYWAYS -- Addi's laid up in bed, back propped up by the fluffy pillows with the duvet pooled around her lap. She was staring straight ahead, the vision in front of her an odd mix of quirky and endearing.
The sight? Alex pacing through the bedroom, one hand curled around his toothbrush, gently scrubbing at his teeth, while his other hand was tucked beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs, mindlessly cupping himself. He looked preoccupied. Eyes flitted about the room, gentle nods and tilts of his head. It seemed like he was in the middle of some monologue, probably work related, which also meant he looked like he was in a different world entirely.
"Kuckeliku," She was surprised how quickly he stopped pacing and faced the bed. He stopped brushing his teeth, but both hands remained in their respective places. "Can I talk to you about something?"
He pulled his hand out of his underwear, letting it hang at his side. "Can I spit first?" He waited until she nodded, noting that her eyes drifted downward, "just a second, kid."
Back in the bathroom, he moved as quickly as he could to not make her wait for very long, but was simultaneously trying to figure out what this conversation was going to be about. Had he done something wrong earlier? He wanted to best mitigate the situation without knowing what the situation was just yet. He was quick to rinse his mouth out and get back to her.
Alex crawled into his side of the bed and adjusted the duvet around his lap too; taking the extra step to lean in and kiss Addi softly. He let out a hum with the act of affection, and when they parted, she couldn't help but notice that he looked absolutely smitten.
"What's up, sweetheart," he grinned and reached forward for her lap when his pitch and slight lisp made her smile coyly. "You alright?"
She nodded and set her hand on top of his, tracing the back of his hand with her fingertips. "Yeah, I just want to ask you something because..." she trailed off and looked up into his eyes. He was already locked on to her, scoping out her expression for any hint. "I don't know if I'm... I'm not..." she paused. His gentleness in this moment, of not being able to anticipate what was coming next, made her heart beat a little faster. "How many people have you slept with?"
He half-giggled but quickly it that wasn't a joke and he forced his expression to return to seriousness by clearing his throat. "Why?"
"I want to know,"
"I don't think that's important to our relationship,"
"I think it is because I feel like I have to live up to all those other women, and I just... I want to know how many women that is."
"You have nothing to live up to," he insisted.
"Alex, please,"
Alex swallowed and looked down at his lap but didn't pull his hands away from hers.
"You don't know the number?"
"I just don't think the number will make either of us feel better."
She let out a squeak that sounded like a whine and tried to pull her hand out of Alex's, but he held on tighter. "More than a hundred,"
"No," he said instantly.
"More than fifty?"
"...No." This time his answer didn't come as fast, so Addi figured she'd better stop now before she guessed a number that it was higher than. But Alex was right. She didn't feel better. Now there were somewhere between forty and fifty women he had as comparison to her -- and surely they were all more experienced, more sexual than she was (maybe save for a few that Alex might've had in his youth).
And here's the thing. She's not mad at him. She can't be. She has no right to be. Obviously he had a long and full life prior to her. Now hopefully he'll have a long and full life with her. But she's not disillusioned to the fact that the man wasn't a total saint. So she's not mad, and she can't be upset about whatever his number is; she just has to live in this new reality where she knows the number. Or the general area of the number.
"This isn't important to our relationship, kid. I think the only number important to our relationship now is one, and you're it." He waited for Addi to look up at him. He could tell she was trying to hide the frown on her face. "You're it, kid. You're everything,"
Despite his words, her frown got a little more pronounced. "You can't say that. We've been together for like... not a long time."
He shrugged, "well it's the truth, so you're gonna have to figure out how to process that." Alex leaned forward and kissed her softly, thankful she didn't back away from him. Then he laid back in bed and situated the pillow beneath his head.
Addi lifted her hand to his chest, "am I as good as those other women?"
I really want a long version of 'Addi giving Alex forehead kisses' Loli. ugh! I'm such a sucker for forehead kisses.
Thissssssssss 🥺 It's a vibe for sure.
I like that this has become a part of who they are. Alex, the big, strong, formidable beacon of masculinity pining for forehead kisses from a much smaller and gentle, Addi. Even with that, it's not like forehead kisses for Alex happen on the daily. Addi could never reach his forehead to administer such a kiss without his cuddling or cooperation. Because while yes, just the thought of Alex getting forehead kisses is swoon-worthy enough. But dare I say, the act of him asking for forehead kisses is what makes it even more swoon-worthy.
Sometimes it happens early in the morning, after they've just woken up from a good night. Maybe particularly a night where Addi was feeling herself, and so instead of partaking in the act of dominating her, Alex let her take what she wanted from him. And oh does she do it so well. He'll roll over and thunk his head down against her chest, waiting as patiently as he can until she catches her bearings and softly kisses his forehead.
But usually, and the situation where the forehead kisses arise more times than not, is after he's just gotten home from a hectic day. It could be press. It could be a fourteen hour set day. It could just be a full day of international travel. He gets home (or comes out of his office if the press junket was all done remote), and just by the sound of his gait, Addi can tell what sort of mood he's in. Instead of deliberate steps, she can hear that his feet seem to be dragging, and if it were possible, the steps sound heavier.
In reality she doesn't even need him to commit the act of asking for a forehead kiss. She knows what mood warrants that sort of softness, and she knows when he's in that mood. But still, a little part of her thinks that part of the comfort he gets from it, comes from him asking. So she waits until he does. Sometimes it's instant. And sometimes it takes him a little while to come to the conclusion that he needs some soft comfort. But it always ends up happening.
He comes over to wherever she's at. In bed, on the couch, in the kitchen... He comes over, positions himself in a way that's conducive to his prime goal -- shoving his face against her chest. She smiles to herself; the softness of the action is sometimes overwhelming, and she cups her hand around the back of his neck to play with the ends of his hair. Sometimes she kisses his forehead immediately. But sometimes she waits just a second too long. And the impatient man in front of her, nudges his face against her chest a little harder to urge her on until she eventually does, press her lips to his forehead for a long, lingering kiss.
