A soft answer turns away wrath.
I’ve been learning this more and more every day. Before at work, I’d get mad when people I considered my friends would say things to me: criticizing my skills, “joking” about me being the token black, me being young, me being single, me being a woman. Working in IT is no joke. I’m constantly having to prove my worth to people. I let my work and skills speak for themselves.
But today, a “friend” told me, “you have problems” after he overheard me telling someone else about how expensive it is to rent in San Diego. I could’ve gotten a roommate. I could’ve moved in with my brother. I could’ve stayed with my parents. But no. I work hard as hell. I deserve my own place. And I got it. But now I’m missing out on traveling and constantly checking my account to make sure I stay in my budget. Sure, my rent is way too high. But I chose to live here. I knew coming in it wasn’t gonna be easy. So when my lease is up, I’ll face the decision to find a cheaper place or move with my brother. But what I was saying…is that someone who I wasn’t even speaking to told me I have problems for choosing to live where I live with the rent being so high. I calmly turned toward him and said, “I don’t have problems. This is a learning experience. It’d be a problem if I was upset with the decision I made”. And then I turned away from him.
Moral of the story: don’t ever let anyone talk shit about you, to you. Instead of rising to their level in conversation, answer them calmly. You’ll feel more powerful than ever.
