Just Friends | Caleb x Reader
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summary: You've always been a tad too studious to notice the way Caleb looks at you.
tags: gender-neutral!Reader (lemme know if I missed any pronouns), Caleb is popular and reader is kinda a nerd/dork, reader wears glasses, college!AU, Caleb calls reader "pips", pining, clueless idiots in love, avoidance, suffering in silence, underage drinking, eventual smut
WC: 2.6k
this is not proofread and I'm doing this on mobile so my b if I missed anything or it looks wonky!
A/N: i keep pushing the drama off bc i want them to yearn for longer lmao
Midterms were almost here, and the reality of your situation still hadn’t sunk in. You thought it would help if, over time, you got used to Caleb’s absence. So it wouldn’t hurt so much when he found someone else. The reality of your dream was too painful. He wouldn’t be by your side forever, and it was foolish to think so. Yet every time you looked out the window or walked to your next class, there he was. Smiling at you as if you had hung the moon and the stars. It hurt. It hurt so much.
You had tried to study with him, but sitting near him created a fluttering feeling in your chest that made it difficult to concentrate on reading. You had tried to schedule hangouts, but more often than not, you ended up chatting for hours with your limbs tangled together in a familiar embrace that held more emotional weight than you were used to. You had tried to text him to maintain some semblance of a digital connection, but it always ended in him showing up with enough snacks for two. Cue the previous two issues.
It was obvious that you were trying to create some distance, and Caleb wasn’t one to push things farther than they needed to go. He quietly accepted his new role, texted less frequently, and made himself more scarce. But he never left.
Caleb joined the campus recreational basketball team, the courts seen from the window of your favorite study location in the undergraduate library. Caleb got a part-time job as a barista at the cafe you grabbed breakfast at before your early morning classes. Caleb joined a service fraternity and made friends who coincidentally lived in the same dorm as you. When he’d see you nearby, he would offer a wave and that familiar soft smile. It seemed that everywhere you went, his presence followed. As if he was waiting for something. For you to finally realize how much you missed him, maybe. That’s what it felt like at least. Or maybe that’s what was stuck in your mind this whole time.
You observed from a distance how he was surrounded by new peers, groups of individuals who all spoke highly of him in person and when he left the room. You overheard and saw the vast amount of social events he was invited to. A crude ball of insecurity writhed inside you at the thought of him finding another best friend. Another you. Someone else to share his day with. His life.
Your presumed selfishness had surprised you. It bolstered you towards your goal of becoming less dependent on Caleb. You had late-night gossip sessions with Tara. You learned the names of your teachers’ assistants, joining every office hour you could. You studied, focused, and locked in on what you’d been doing your whole life. School. Education. That’s what you needed to dedicate yourself to. That’s what was predictable. Uncomplicated.
Zayne had become a common occurrence in your study sessions, with one in-person lecture and two online courses overlapping in your schedules. Sweet treats and silent studying made for quite a pleasant evening in your book, and you were beginning to enjoy the stoic man’s company. An inkling of a smile appeared every so often after your jokes, causing your heart to swell with pride.
Despite the fulfilling academic life and camaraderie with your classmates, Zayne, and your roommate Tara, the dull ache that resounded in your chest every time you thought of Caleb was impossible to ignore.
You just had to get past midterms. You would contact Caleb after, make up a weak apology, invite him to hang out to satiate his whining, and he’d accept it like he always did. That was the plan. But when midterms ended and you sent the message, Caleb had asked you to meet him at the basketball courts, his message oddly brief. The fall air was cool as you made your way in that direction, breathing warm air into your cold hands. Your glasses fog as you round the corner, the condensation fading and your vision returning.
The sight in front of you was almost too much to process. In the grass near the basketball court was a picnic set up, a beautiful spread of fruits and snacks laid out. A few feet away sat Caleb, lying down with the sun on his face and his elbows propping himself up. He looked so serene, wearing jeans with a tank top despite the chilly weather. His denim jacket was laid down at his side, and you wondered for a moment why he brought a jacket if not to wear it.
All the feelings you had shoved down over the last two months, the desire for things to return to normal, the avoidance, the unavoidable truth—it all bubbled up out of you at once. You liked Caleb. As potentially more than a friend. And you missed him so much it pained you. Before you could realize what was happening, tears gathered in the corners of your eyes. You blinked them away, tilting your head up. It was just the stress of midterms. Pull yourself together.
You shook off the tension and walked towards Caleb. Your legs felt as stiff as boards, your mouth going dry as you approached. Caleb turned and hopped up, his smile bright enough to blind. He jogged in your direction and wrenched you into a smothering hug. “Pips! It’s so good to see you. I missed you so much, you busy bee! How did midterms go?”
Your heart beats erratically at his warm embrace, his large arms binding you against his chest. Your hands slipped around his waist, your fist loosely gripping his shirt to ground yourself. You could feel your cheeks warming, pulling away before the flush in your face became too obvious.
“Midterms went well,” you provided smoothly, your hand pressing against the clothed expanse of his abdomen to try and create some distance. “I haven’t received my grades yet for most, but I got a 97% on the one that was automatically graded. Thankfully Zayne helped me study for that one; it was the one I was most worried about!”
Caleb visibly winced. You paused, laughing, “What’s that reaction about? I know it’s not a perfect score, but come on!”
The man took a step back, shaking his head resolutely with a wry smile, “Nothing. It’s just—Sorry. I’ve been dying to hang out with you for the last two months, Pips. You said you weren’t available, but you’ve been hanging out with that guy this whole time? Did I do something wrong?”
Oh, this felt much, much worse than the sinking dread of realizing your feelings. The disappointment was palpable, and shame slid underneath your skin like a horrible parasite. You backpedaled, rambling, “Well, it hasn’t really been hanging out. It’s just studying, and we barely even talk. We actually don’t talk at all, really. We just kind of sit next to each other and read and do practice exams.”
Caleb’s gaze drifted to the picnic setup, raising his arms to flatten his palms against the top of his head in exasperation. He swallowed thickly, and for a moment, you swore you saw his chin quiver. He took a deep breath and sat, running his hands over his face, murmuring under his breath, “… for you.”
You bit your lip worriedly and sat down next to him, stepping around the sliced fruit and small bowls of savory treats on the blanket. “What did you say?”
Caleb didn’t meet your gaze, picking at the edge of his jeans, “I would’ve sat next to you and read quietly. I could have done that for you. I want to.”
Your thoughts flicked back to the few times you did invite him. The way his smile pulled you away from the books on the table. The way the smallest brush of his hand sent your pulse skyrocketing. You couldn’t focus with him around, and you couldn’t exactly ask your best friend to just… stop being attractive. The wind picked up, a few leaves drifting by the picnic blanket.
“Caleb,” you started, your chest tight as you floundered for an excuse, “I would’ve, but… I know you’ve been making a lot of friends lately, and I didn’t want to bother you with studying. I know you don’t like it, so I just… didn’t think to invite you. I’m really sorry.”
“Make it up to me on Friday.”
“Huh?”
Caleb repeated himself firmly, “Make it up to me on Friday. My service frat has a formal event they’re hosting at a local bar, and I want you to be my date.”
His date. You gaped, “What? Wait, hold on, what exactly are you inviting me for?”
Caleb picked up a piece of watermelon and popped it in his mouth, chewing and holding out a piece. “Want some watermelon? It’s super fresh. I thought it would’ve been out of season already.”
You laughed incredulously, “Caleb! Are you just ignoring my question? Why do I need to go?”
“Because I miss you,” he spoke gingerly, his eyes finally meeting yours for the first time since you had greeted each other. He looked bothered, a crease forming between his brows as the corners of his lips turned down. “I miss you a lot, Pips. And if I get to hang out and enjoy one fun night with you before you get busy again, I’m going to savor every minute you give me.”
His eyes shone with fondness, a smile sliding its way back onto his face. It was your turn to pick up a piece of fruit. The cool juice hit your tongue as you bit down, tearing your eyes away from Caleb to stare down at the grass in front of you. You swallowed, but the tension did not leave your throat. You frowned.
“Caleb it’s…confusing when you say things like that in that way.”
“Like how?”
You rushed to think of the words, “Like, well… you say such sweet things, and I guess it just feels so… intimate. Like I’ve mentioned before, if people overhear, they might get the wrong idea. You know? Does that make sense?”
The evening sunset curls over the horizon, casting hues of pink and orange over your picnic. The breeze picks up, and you shiver slightly. Caleb shifts to sit behind you, draping his jacket over your shoulders. “Yeah. It makes sense.”
He clearly wanted to say more, but he remained silent. You wished you could tell what he was thinking. You gripped Caleb’s jacket tighter around yourself, your heart thrumming quickly. Silence was almost worse than talking.
“Can I be honest? And you have to promise not to laugh.”
Even though he sat behind you, you could tell he was grinning, “Go ahead, but no promises.”
You reach back to elbow him lightly, smiling, “Jerk. I was just thinking that you’d look really good in a tie. You didn’t wear one for high school graduation, but it might be nice to see if it elevates your outfit for the formal.”
You didn’t have the heart to say what you were really thinking about the formal. You were thinking of his hands on your body, swaying to the beat of the music in less than a week. Thinking of whether you could convince him to stay over at your dorm afterwards under the guise of having a slumber party like old times. You knew it wasn’t wise, but if you were going to distance yourself again, it wouldn’t hurt to indulge in his presence just for the night.
Friday night approached quicker than you anticipated, leaving you scrambling for a last-minute formal outfit that Tara thankfully assisted you with at the campus thrift store. Without her, you feared you would have been ten times more nervous than you already were. And when Caleb arrived outside your dorm that afternoon wearing a tie that matched your outfit, you couldn’t help but buzz with excitement.
That was before you ended up on the floor of someone’s frat basement in a circle of people with cups of alcohol in the center. The “formal” part of the night was really an excuse for everyone to get dressed up and bar hop, and you had introduced yourself so many times that your name was starting to sound foreign on your tongue. Some of Caleb’s friends suggested a nightcap at one of their frats. What you thought would be a movie and snacks ended up as a drinking game.
You could barely keep up with the explanation of the rules, most of the lingo foreign to you. Cards were passed around swiftly, and the game began. Caleb sat next to you in his button-up and slacks, tie slightly loosened around his neck. It was almost necessary after the third bar’s air conditioning broke. Even though he had clearly understood all the rules, he was absolutely horrible at the game. Loss after loss. After multiple rounds and drinks downed, Caleb was beginning to look a little red in the face.
You nudged him with a concerned smile, “Hey, you doing alright?”
Caleb flushed as he met your gaze, fidgeting with the edge of his cards. “Uh… yeah. I’m doing great. Perfect.”
“You sure?” You pressed, glancing at the stack of empty solo cups in front of him, “You’ve had a lot already. I don’t know if I can carry you back to your dorm if you pass out, so I might have to leave you on the street.”
He chuckled, “Aw, so mean. Would you at least sleep on the street with me?”
“No!” You exclaimed with a smile, shoving his side, “You’re the one who sucks at this game. If the consequences for sucking are to sleep on the street, who am I to defy fate?”
Caleb’s eyes were a little glossy, his smile lazy as he leaned in towards your ear. He whispered, “Come on. Let’s head out of here so I can get you home safely. And before I’m doomed to sleep on the street alone.”
The frigid night air was colder than you remembered it being, thinking back to that first college party when you ended up having a few drinks more than you intended. How the tables had turned. Your arm was linked with Caleb’s as you walked, the stars shining in the dark sky. The quad was eerily quiet, the grass lawn empty of students, and crickets chirping in the distance. Words unsaid hung heavy in the air as you both walked closely together. The night was beautiful.
“Hey, Caleb.”
“Yeah, pips?”
“I promise not to get so busy again.”
—
Caleb yanked his tie off his neck once he returned to his dorm, tossing it against the wall. Fuck. He had planned to say something. Anything. But the way you looked all dressed up, smiling up at him in the crowded bars, and even the look of concentration you had on your face during the drinking game had rendered him useless. How could he jeopardize everything? For his own selfishness, on the slim chance that it was reciprocated?
A message pops up on his phone from the party host.
Thought you wd like this. u and ur date
The attached image was of the two of you sitting next to each other on the floor, leaning close as you laughed out loud. Your eyes sparkled. He hoped that he contributed to that look, even the smallest bit. The matching formal outfits made it clear that even if you two weren’t an item, you were a bonded pair. With a few deft clicks, Caleb set his new lock screen and flopped into bed. He slept peacefully, only awakening to a vivid dream of your hands gripping his tie, pulling him closer until he could almost taste your lips on his.
A/N: if these two won’t talk to each other then THEIR DREAMS WILL!! 2 more chapters and then this will be over <3 my blorbos!! confession scene next chapter!!!!
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