his (drafted) texts to taeho take form in five kinds.
they go along the lines of:
- hey, long time no talk (but who’s fault is that, really?) - have you been doing okay? a stupid question, better off unasked. - do you remember me? he’s almost impossible to forget, given the circumstances. next. - i hope life’s treating you well. but then again, does it ever? - it’s junha. let’s talk.
and of course, he goes ahead with the last.
jump to: 1:21PM.
he finds himself in a quaint cafe cozily tucked away in the corners of bustling seoul, the tap, tap, tap of his fingernails drumming against the mug in his hands.
this isn’t his scene. the fighting ring is—where he can convey feelings in the form of skin on skin instead of words that he’s never been good with in the first place. fighting? he can deal with. emotions? not so much.
is this supposed to be an apology? somewhat. maybe.
junha’s never been one to apologise, though.
the seven years (give or take) of wear and tear on the both of them who’ve gone though god-knows-what were upheld with silence, and frankly, junha has no idea what to expect from their sudden reunion. the answer, oddly enough, is anti-climatic.
it takes a second for him to register the male that enters and sits across him as ryu taeho. the ryu taeho he supposedly used to know. (did you mean: a stranger?)
most of all, junha doesn’t know how to feel. a mix of reliefguiltdreadpanic, perhaps.
so, he settles for a smile that barely conveys his feelings and stretches it thinly across his features—sticky and tight, a stark contrast to the thick unease that’s already settling between them. and god, he hopes he makes it out of this alive. words sit heavy on his tongue, a jumble of thoughts that never make it out into the open. it goes like,
i’m sorry i’m sorry for leaving you when you needed me i’m sorry for not being there i’m sorry for not noticing i wish i could turn back time are you okay? i’m so glad you’re alive i’m so glad you’re here but what if what if what if, if we didn’t leave each other would any of this have happened?—
instead, he says, eyes dropping to his hands curled around the handle of the mug, “it’s been a while, taeho.”
i missed you.
@solarade
