what makes something romantic or queerplatonic instead of just platonic really?
the lgbtqia wiki’s page on queerplatonic relationships says:
A queerplatonic relationship is a partnership which does not fit the "traditional" models of friendships or romantic relationships.[2][3][4] Queerplatonic relationships often have characteristics commonly associated with romantic relationships, such as deep emotional intimacy, prioritization, and commitment,[2][3][4][5] while still defying a "platonic or romantic" categorization.[2] Queerplatonic relationships have a flexible dynamic, and each relationship is tailored to the needs of the individuals involved, with no outside societal expectations or guidelines to follow.[6][7]
the point of queerplatonic relationships is that they necessarily do not have set rules or traits to them; technically, any relationship could be categorized as ‘romantic’, ‘queerplatonic’, or ‘platonic’ depending on the preference and feelings of those involved, however heart and mind are characters and aren’t real so we can’t really ask their opinion on the matter.
thus, we must use a different metric than what we would use in real life aka just asking people’s opinion. for this purpose, i’d agree that “deep emotional intimacy, prioritization, and commitment” are typically important to defining a queerplatonic relationship, and can be used as metrics for portrayal of one.
so what would this look like?
deep (emotional) intimacy: confessing things that are important to them, relying on each other for support, and possibly physical intimacy (being really touchy, cuddling, kissing, etc)
prioritization: the other matters significantly to them and they wouldn’t feel right existing without them. they treat each other as Something Other than a ‘friend’ or an ‘enemy’, a different category of relationship which lends itself to different things, and which is particularly significant to them
commitment: there’s some sort of bond between them, not necessarily spoken, that ties them together. an understanding that they wouldn’t, or couldn’t, leave the other, that the other is ‘it’ for them in some fashion
but like. there isn’t an objective difference between a queerplatonic and a platonic relationship. we won’t be measuring whatever you make with, like, an aromantic thermometer. as long as they don’t look at the camera and go ‘i love being platonic besties with my favorite friend [heart/mind]’* it’s probably fine.
*more seriously there should a sense of the above three things - or, more generally, a deep significant connection that ties them together.**
**but again, there isn’t going to be a ‘this romantic to ride’ line, that sounds unfun